Decision 685t2y

Copyright © 2015 Enikő Uzonyi.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Interior illustration by Noémi Uzonyi. Translated by József Szabolcs Fagyal.

Archway Publishing 1663 Liberty Drive Bloomington, IN 47403 www.archwaypublishing.com 1 (888) 242-5904

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-4808-1661-9 (sc) ISBN: 978-1-4808-1662-6 (hc) ISBN: 978-1-4808-1663-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015904528

Archway Publishing rev. date: 03/31/20153

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

For You

“He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.” (FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE)

I don’t want to die like this. And I don’t want to live like this any further. I don’t want to get lost in the dark and haze, like those who lie in the cemetery with their names long forgotten. I really find it true that you die twice: first when the soul leaves the body behind, and second, when somebody says your name for the last time. I can’t believe that’s really all. Need more, a lot more.

Chapter 1

My name is Madison Moore. I’m eighteen. I live in Whitefish city, Montana. For me, this is a beautiful city. Full of memories. Good and bad ones. Unfortunately, as most of the smaller cities, it’s going to disappear before long. Bigger cities always incorporate small ones. But this place has an enchanting power. Anyone travelling here can see what others may never see. Like when you enter a room then leave it after a while. Some won’t even know where they were, but others might find interest in the color of the wall, the smell of furniture and the strange creak of the floor. This city is just like that. People who have been here once always something. They will it forever. Looking at the huge trees, the forests standing tall on the mountains gives me the creeps. I always desired to go into the dense pine-land alone, and alone only. But there’s always something pulling me back, not fear, but a simple feeling, a hunch not to go in. For there awaits something, or someone, who is different from me. Beyond the mountains is my favorite place, the lake. It’s not so far from the city and everyone who can, comes here for relaxation. The water is incredibly transparent; you can see the fish and plants living down there. If I bend close to the surface, I can see myself crystal clear in it. Each time when I do this, I expect something to happen. Something that changes everything, taking away all the bad things and leaving behind only what is good. Sometimes I expect to feel what I do on Christmas mornings – that this day is different from the rest and anything is possible. This place is dazzling. We tend to come here with my friends, because it never gets boring. We always make up for an occasion and simply have fun. We enjoy everything we can. Our population is not so high, compared to a global city it is rather small. But big enough to avoid the annoyance of stupid people. There wouldn’t be smart people without them though. It is one week sharp since my twelfth grade exams. At last I’m done with the long years of studying. I could say that I’m relieved, no more exams and compulsory classes beside many other things. From this aspect, it is true, I mean,

it’s over, but it’s never completely over no matter what we are talking about. I agree with my grandfather saying that people never stop learning until they die. There will be new things we can use for our benefit. Even though 63, he keeps saying that he’s still learning. He is absolutely right, there is always something new to learn. But it matters whether you study geometry, radicals or atomic physics, or useful things that interest you. I believe that there are a lot of things important to others, but indifferent to me. What is interesting depends on the individual. And what’s important for me? That’s a very good question. I’m not the type to be always in the center. But I’m unspeakably glad that in these years I made a bunch of new friends – even too much, maybe. And I really feel that they are true friends, with whom I can share everything and I can count on them no matter what. I like to be with them, thus not being at home for the time being at least. I’m always filled with a kind of joy upon meeting the parents of any of my friends, because it’s like in the films in which everyone keeps smiling and behaves kindly to one another. They can settle things without raising their voices. I don’t care if this superb image is just a make-believe because anger and maleficence lie everywhere. As long as I see families like this, I believe that it exists, and once I can have one, too. A happy family. My family is so strange. I would use a better word to describe, but there’s none. For example when I say “flower”, everyone knows what a flower is. Everyone would imagine it, no matter in what exact shape and color, but a flower. They have hundreds and hundreds of types. A vast score. But my family would be hard to describe, it is different for everyone, and so it is for me, different. Yesterday I went home late all alone. The others always offer me a lift or their company, but somehow I always refuse. They’re afraid that something bad, something tragic will happen to me. In turn I love walking home alone, because I want something to happen. Not something bad of course. Nay. It was raining heavily on my way home and we had a strong wind as well. But I love rain and its scent, and getting wet doesn’t bother me. When I reached the black iron bar fence, it came to my mind that I no longer live here. Only father and his new girlfriend Lizz live here. I felt dumb for getting to the place. Talking about home I still think of this place, although it has been more than half a year.

Thus I went on, striding in the rain to the place where I currently live with mother. Our house is on the edge of the forest, not very far from anything because there are no great distances here, but I’m still glad we don’t live right in the city center. I think this is one of the most beautiful houses I’ve ever seen. The two of us live together in this huge house. Mother works for an estateagency, so getting this house for a fair price was easy. I love being in the backyard, because I feel half in the forest. I sit there often, pondering and staring into the distance through the thick woods. I don’t tell anyone or they would think me insane. I often feel that someone is there, or something is there looking at me, just as I am looking at it. But I never share these ideas of mine with anyone, because they wouldn’t understand me, and label me strange. This house is quite old, probably more than 100 years. Everything in it is the original; the previous lodgers left them. We don’t know anything about them; the agency took the house over after some complications. And thus we could get it easily. Just like in the case of the city, I have many memories attached to this house. And fortunately I have had only good ones so far. Everything I look upon triggers a happy feeling inside me, like looking at dogs makes me smile – that’s how it feels living here. Perhaps I love animals so much for their innocence; they just live and love and do not worry about anything. They only ask to be loved. There’s a big swing-bed in the garden, which always squeaks and tingles when the wind blows stronger. Everything that is old appears to speak. Officially, my parents divorced three years ago. But we moved apart only six months ago, me staying with mom, and father with his girlfriend in our old house. It was not a difficult choice who I want to live with; I stay with mother, no contest. Everything changed since we moved apart, but there are things that never will. It’s hard to explain as many other things. But what makes me unspeakably glad is that I’m feeling good here. In fact, no negative feeling came to me here in the last six months. The main reason for this, among other things, is that there’s no argument, no tension, not any kind of terror or pressure. Yeah, sometimes we argue with mother, but that’s not the same as those back then when father lived with us.

Practically, mother’s never at home, and when she is, we don’t speak about important topics, I mean, private things, only about general, everyday things. She doesn’t know the first thing about me, for long she was not interested at all, or at least I felt so, but hopefully this will change as time es by. In contrast, I know a lot about her. I would like her to know more about me too, but to succeed in this I must try to forgive her day by day that when I needed her the most she was not beside me; of course I know she had her own problems, but it would have been important to me. So everything else connected to me or my ideas I share with my friends, and I feel that they can truly understand me. And yes, they do know who I am. Of course I don’t always believe them saying so. Nathan, he is my best friend, if such a thing exists, but as long as I don’t have to be disappointed, I believe in it. But he is different. He is the closest to me in the world. He keeps saying that he knows me and knows who I am. This always makes me laugh, for how could he know it? He only knows a part of me shown to him, but I’m much more than that. It’s like reading one page from a book. Who knows what’s written on the others? I believe that you never really learn who you are, and what you’re able to do. Especially if you haven’t tried out lots of things, haven’t experienced enough. Haven’t lived, in truth. Nathan has three brothers, I have none. Perhaps this makes him think that he knows me, because it is much easier to know a sibling – you grow up together, see each other every day, together through foul and fair. Nathan is like a brother to me, we have known each other for very long, and doing everything together since childhood. Good and crazy stuff alike. I could always turn to him for help, and vice-versa. Yet I don’t feel that I’ve shown myself fully even to him, and I have never had the chance to do so with anyone, to show my absolute limits, who I am and what I’m able to do. But I’ll terribly miss him. Since from September onwards he is going to a university in Buffalo city, which is quite far away. And I’m terribly afraid that seeing each other so rarely (for he surely can’t come home often, which I understand) might lead to a change in our relationship. After all, a new and certainly exciting life awaits him.

___________________________

LAST WEEK I VISITED FATHER; I can never eat a thing on those days. My stomach shrinks to the size of a plum stone. But it had to be done, because I promised him a visit a long time ago. And I also had to go because of some papers he owned mother, but it might have been a pretext. He still claims that he loves me. Quite incredible, considering how he had treated me for years… We don’t really keep in touch since moving apart. Even before, we didn’t talk about anything, but now we can’t meet either. It takes around forty minutes to get to his house by feet, but I like walking and thus I calm down by the time I get there. My head becomes clearer thinking about other things, things that make me happier. Sometimes I ask Nathan to accompany me, and he’s always glad to come because he knows that I don’t like meeting father alone. But this time I preferred going alone. – It’s going to be alright, it’s going to be alright. – I kept saying myself. Dad’s currently unemployed, he used to ister a shop shared with my grandparents, but he quit when he met his new girlfriend Lizz Wade. Thus my grandfather and grandmother are left with the business. I don’t think it’s fair, they probably can’t take it for long, they are too old for that. Lizz is coming from a rather wealthy family and wanted father to be with her almost all the time, so she convinced him to quit the job because it takes a considerable amount of time travelling to grandma’s 500km away. So now he is looking for a job which does not require a lot of travelling. But in my opinion he is utterly satisfied with the current situation; he is not working and still has money from Lizz. When we were living together, father used to say that he had achieved his goal by owning a nice house and a beautiful flower-garden… At times like that I start wondering about my and mother’s role in his life. He has been together with Lizz for two full years. I have nothing against her, we

don’t really meet a lot, but there’s no grudge between us. She is always kind to me and vice-versa. I accept the set-up and that’s it, though it never ceases to amaze me how she can love father and live with him. Well, it’s her own business. It might be that when he is with Lizz, father becomes well-mannered, or at least that’s what we see with mother every time we are invited to a big family event where everyone has to turn up, and on these occasions he is somehow really different. And I might imagine the man in him my mother fell in love with. Thinking more about it, I’d say that father is quite popular, he has lots of friend, but he always shows a different face to them, never revealing what kind of man he really is. To be honest the same goes for everyone else. Only mother and I knew the truth about father. Even my grandparents buried their heads in the sand when we told them his doings. Deep inside they probably knew the truth, but didn’t want to become aware of it. I know that even father has some good qualities, but I just don’t forget so easily. I noted everything, but it grieves me that mostly bad memories are left of him. I know there were good ones, but I can’t those. Somehow they got erased from my memory. Our last conversation went along the typical How are you? Fine… Me too… line followed by a big silence, and that’s why it is so good to have someone with me, because at least I have an excuse for leaving early. Staying together might end up in a row, which I wouldn’t like the least, so exchanging a few casual lines only is all for the best. I never knew the use of all the rows and arguments. I find it utterly superfluous; only hatred and odium comes out of it. Eventually, their divorce with mom was simple. Ever since mother was pregnant with me, he kept cheating on her, and she endured it for a long time. They were trying to keep these secreted from me, but I was a child and no idiot, so I knew everything. I heard them at it countless times. I didn’t even have to eavesdrop, for they yelled so loud I could clearly understand every word. And of course I heard things from other people as well, which is quite odd, to know they were occupied with us… Later on I often saw father with other women, mostly on the streets, in the

cinema or in the theatre; he didn’t trouble himself in public spaces. But father thought that not talking about it will make it null. Nice lil’ theory. Honestly, I have no idea whether he wanted to deceive us or himself. But the twelfth grade exams changed everything. Now all the bad things are over, and I can think about only this, that now new and good things will happen to me.

___________________________

AFTER MY EXAMS, WE DINED out and it was quite an interesting one. Since we moved, this was one of those events where the whole family gathered. Or at least those people who really belong to the family. Or who think so. After the ceremony we went to a restaurant just like almost everyone. We rarely go to restaurants and I still don’t know why, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. We went to my favorite restaurant, which was at the shore of the lake. Only good memories tied me to this place, so I hoped that this event will be great, too. The restaurant was on the landing-stage, directly at the shore, and so was our table. I thought that if anything bad happens, any ill-willed comment or remark, I can just turn my head away and watch the flowing rims on the surface of the lake as light glimmers on it. I sat on the farthest side of the table because of this, though they disapproved, saying why I don’t sit in the centre, for it is me who we are celebrating. But we hadn’t had to wait too much before mother sat down to the centre quickly, thus allowing me to stay at the side. What I was very glad for, was my grandparents’ coming. The parents of father. I’ve always been in a good relationship with them, without any grudge ever, but I think they didn’t know much about me either, only roughly. The facts. Mother’s parents died a long time ago, unfortunately, I didn’t know them. I was very young when we met, but I don’t them which I feel sorry for. Both of them died in cancer. What I know about them is that they lived in California and mother says they were happy. Never argued, they were calm people. It is good to them like this even if it’s not entirely true. Some old photos had been left behind by them, so at least I could see how they looked. I think they were a very nice couple.

So father’s parents came because of me. Grandpa was a bit, no, not a bit, but quite a lot from the seclusive type. He shares some features with father, but he has never raised his voice in an argument, I have never heard him yell or shout. Grandma was always kind and nice with me, but not with mother or Lizz. For some reason she didn’t like them as much. It was not very conspicuous, but everyone knew. But neither mother insisted on keeping a good relationship, so naturally they never sit next to each other. Lizz, on the other hand, was always trying, just like now. She was always incredibly kind with grandma, hoping to get closer. Although if she puts on dresses like this, it won’t help to make a good impression, because grandma has always been conservative in of clothes, and despised those women who put everything they have on show. And Lizz always shows too much flesh, just like now. But I really appreciate that they travelled here all the way for me. They believe that time is a thing of which you can never have enough. They never have time for anything. Always in a hurry and with no time to spare they run through everything in a hurry, hurrying all the time. They live like this. But maybe because of this city, when they arrived here something changed in them and their time stopped and they don’t want to rush away. Most of the time, they feel this way here. But now with the shop left fully on them, you can see that they are loaded with work. I felt sorry for them. Father arrived with some of his regular and inevitable delay, and became seated with Lizz next to me. Father looked especially well and youthful now. He has no grey threads at all, and the suit and all just fit together perfectly. Of course this is due to Lizz; she keeps father in form and looking at him you could really tell that he’s feeling well. Mother came alone. She was wearing a snow-white dress and her hazel-nut colored hair loose. In spite of being 43 she looks quite well, too. Since the divorce she had a few boyfriends, but all these relationships ended soon, for they all resembled father in some ways, I mean, their personalities did. I can understand that we are always looking for the same person, in part at least. Always. That’s how mother is trying to fill the void, but I think she needs to overstep some obstacles to have a lasting partner again. Crossing any kind of obstacle is quite an interesting process. In my opinion, two kinds of hindrances exist in one’s life. First those which are set-up by others, easier to cross, reminding me of little ponds, and second those

which we create for ourselves. These are the most difficult to overstep. We isolate ourselves, cover the walls with barbed wire and these obstacles are like attempting to swim through an ocean. Extremely difficult, but nothing is impossible. As they say “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible.’” I like clichés and I don’t think we care enough about their meanings, but they are so true. Exceptionally no argument infected this dinner. Everyone was disciplined as much as possible. All of this for me, and partly because we weren’t at home to let ourselves go. I only felt it a few times, after some rare comments that I would most happily jump into the lake and swim to the other shore. I knew this topic would come up. One of my favorites in the world. - What are you going to do now after graduation? - asked Lizz kindly. And since everyone was deeply interested in the answer to this question, they stared at me as if I was right before giving an important speech. - I don’t really know… - As I don’t like answering this, I felt rather embarrassed. - But you surely have something in mind? - interrupted father, as if interested. - Not yet. - I shrugged. - Then you won’t continue studying? I don’t even know if you applied to university. - Lizz kept on asking. - I have not applied anywhere. I thought that this summer or this year will help me decide what I’d like to do and depending on the situation I might apply to a university then. - And what will you do until then? You know, I’d be glad to help you; I have many connections in more than one field. You can always turn to me, I mean, us. - and she grabbed father’s hand meanwhile. - You’re truly kind, but I really don’t know yet. - I saw on mother’s face that she is about to burst with rage because of Lizz being so kind with me, offering even her connections. Mother doesn’t hate her, she’s only frustrated not being able to

help me in this matter, and she has nothing against Lizz indeed, but they won’t be best friends any time soon. - So you really didn’t apply anywhere eventually? - asked grandma. - No, I didn’t. - But I heard you had good marks, you’re not a bad student, are you, my child? asked grandpa. - Nah, usually B, so not A… But that’s not the issue. I simply didn’t want to go to a university I might not even like. And the same goes for workplaces in the future. - By now I’ve had enough. But I saw they had no answer to this. Everyone had a definite opinion about me. Some agreed and some took me for an idiot. But I was sure about my mom’s agreement and she did me a favor changing the topic. After all, she ended up exactly how I don’t want to. Back then when she had to make a choice where to turn her hands, she didn’t like what she chose. Then she went with the flow and couldn’t turn back. Couldn’t change anything in retrospect and repented it. So she is ing me to give myself time, and I will sooner or later make up my mind what to do. Still better than jumping straight into something I wouldn’t like. But father returned to the topic… - My child, but will you work? - Yeah, but I don’t know what exactly; I’ll look for a job in the summer. - and I looked at him with a face saying stop these kinds of questions. - I don’t believe that your current certificates enable you to get a decent, wellpaying job. - Father disagreed, because he thinks that the only thing that matters is to work and earn as much money as you can, and not how you feel about it, even if the idea of going to work makes you sick. These moments make me laugh for he is currently unemployed and a woman covers his economic needs… Funny. - We will help you, as I’ve already said. - Interrupted Lizz.

- Yeah, right. Don’t hesitate to tell us, if you need anything. - Father continued as if he started to understand what I want. - Alright, thank you. - Now I could hardly wait until dinner was over. One more line in the matter and I go crazy. I was looking forward to going to Tom’s very much. He organized a colossal party with every graduate invited, but others could come as well. He has always been generous, and incredibly rich, of course. I was happy to see my friends again and drink something together… So I was trying to concentrate on the evening only. But then suddenly the same feeling came upon me as the one from the garden when I feel being monitored. I looked around, but didn’t see anything weird. But I knew that someone was watching, waiting for me to do something. I couldn’t handle it anymore; we had been here at the shore for quite a long time, everyone had finished their meal and now only the good old stories were going on, which I had heard hundreds of times. I had been called for a few times already, asking where I am, because the party had started long ago. I stood up and thanked everyone for coming, and everything else before I took the French leave, as they call it. I had to go. I might have hurt them a bit with this. At another table, not far from us were Kathie and her big family. That was quite a big group of people, around 20 of them were sitting around the table. She is a good friend of mine and we agreed in the restroom that we move on to Tom’s together. She offered a lift. No matter how good she felt with her family, partying with your friends is a cut above. We went to the party by Kathie’s car. I love this car. A huge jeep, the kind I always wanted to have, maybe because I’m not very tall and from this vehicle I could see everything perfectly. It had grown dark long ago, and Tom’s house, or rather mansion was on the edge of the city. Going there, the streets are not lit so you need to drive carefully. And ever since I got my driving license I have been afraid of a deer or some other animal jumping in front of my car out of nothing and that I’d run it over, so this time I was praying again to avoid trouble. Of course I know it can happen any

time that a deer or something crosses my way and I hit it, but most people here don’t feel sorry for them. There’re lots of them and why they come out to the roads, etc. So if they run over any, they take it home, and eat it, or simply just leave it there on the spot. The whole thing is a nightmare. Kathie interrupted my flow if ideas: - And Madison, how was your dinner? Was it terrible? - she asked, turning the volume down meanwhile. - No, it wasn’t so terrible, I made it, luckily, and we didn’t even argue that much. - I was smiling at her. - And how was it for you? - Extremely tiring… However, I had a good time. But Taylor has called me for ten times, asking where I am. You know, they didn’t dine out. And he has been at Tom’s place for a long time, and he can never wait a bit for anything. - Well, we will be there soon. Can’t wait for it. - Me too. But the road is awful here. I hate coming here by car. - Yeah, I know, I don’t like driving here either. - Isn’t it strange how quickly these years ended? - she asked with a big sigh, making it evident how sorry she is about the school ending. - Yeah, it’s a bit frightening, and it’s bad, but we need to go on. I feel really glad for these years and the summer is still here, waiting for us and loads of things can still happen. - Yes, I fully understand you. I had the same in my mind, especially because here’s Taylor for me, which makes me unspeakably happy. Although I’m aware that he would have gone to a university… - So he’s not going? You’re staying here? - Yes! We are going to work in father’s shop. He has found job for both of us, so this way our relationship won’t go for the dogs because of distance or anything. So I’m very happy now.

- But Kathie, what will happen to the university? Weren’t you accepted? - Yeah… - she was holding her head in her hands, looking worried. - So what? Why don’t both of you go then, if you want to? I might not be the best person talking about this, but you should understand. - I decided to stay with Taylor instead. We would have gone to different universities, placed in different cities. This will be the best. - I didn’t want to start an argument, it is her business, but she should focus on her own life, even though I understand that she rather stays with Taylor. - Oh Madison, you should find someone, and then you could understand me! - I can fully understand you even like this. - You know what? Tonight‘s party is going to be a big one, and there you can meet lots of handsome guys. We will find someone for you! - she was trying to encourage me, but I wasn’t really thinking about this. - Listen, the summer training camp is starting soon and all the athletic guys are already here. - I don’t understand why they chose this location. Nathan told me that his father is going to participate, you know, he is a coach. - You see? This is an even bigger chance to meet them, plus tonight they will surely come into the party and we can maybe find someone for you! - Oh Kathie, c’mon… - Nope, it’s settled. We were getting quite close to Tom’s, must be there in a few minutes. On the way we saw a rather big number of cars speeding towards Tom’s. Looks like a really big party. - Kathie, don’t you mind stopping at Smith’s on the way? I’m very thirsty and can’t bear it till we arrive. - Sure, I’ll stop in a moment. Could you bring me something too?

- Yes, of course. - But something non-alcoholic, please, you know I don’t drink. - Alright. But won’t you drink anything tonight? - I asked. - No-no, I skip today. - Are you sure? - Yeah, I just can’t handle alcohol. - Neither can I, but we are after the final exams, we have to celebrate! - Don’t worry, I will manage without it. - she smiled at me. - Okay, I’ll back in a minute. Smith was a kind old man owning a general shop. He has been doing so for a very long time. He’s always fair and kind with customers, something that you cannot tell about everyone in his craft. I always like dropping by because of this. And fortunately it is a 0-24. - Anything else you need, darling? - he asked readily. - That’s all, thank you. - I heard school’s over. Congratulations to your success! - Thank you very much, we are on the way to celebrate it. - That’s good. Having fun is necessary. Back in my time we used to do the same. But those were different times. - Oh well, my grandparents often turned nostalgic too, but I had to go, so I kept up a smile at him and that’s it. - Wait a bit! Could you lend me a hand for a moment? - Uhmm, yes. In what? - I asked, but I wanted to get away… Anyway, he has always been kind to me. - It takes only a minute! But it would be pretty important.

- Of course! I’m glad to help. - I answered. - Could you bring a red box in from the backyard? There’s a strong twinge in my back these days and the doctor says I shouldn’t really lift anything. You would do me a great favor. - I’ll bring it in. - I replied kindly, then went out quickly in search for the red box, because Kathie wanted to get to the party as soon as possible, and I didn’t want to make her wait any longer, especially because her boyfriend is waiting for her. But when I went out, it was very dark and only a small lamp was lighting my way; even the fog descended and of course I could find the red box nowhere. I saw a bordeaux box at the bottom under many other boxes, and I thought that had to be it. I tried to pull it out, but the two other fell down and everything was spilt out. -Good job, Madison! - I praised myself. I tried to put everything back into the boxes at my phone’s light. Rubbish was everywhere. During packing the boxes I found an old photo, which was very interesting. It went yellow with age, must have been really old. It was of a really handsome boy with beautiful blue eyes. A strange sensation came over me again, giving me the shivers. I heard that meanwhile Kathie came into the shop, because the little bell over the front door went ringing as usual when someone enters. So I quickly put everything back to its place and went back to the shop. - Here’s the bordeaux, I mean, the red box! - and so put it down on the table, and picked up the drinks I had bought. - I said the blue box, my darling. - Smith was looking at me uncomprehending. - Really? I ed the red one. Then I’ll fetch the blue. - There weren’t any blue to begin with, and I can clearly recall him saying red. - Ah, nevermind, leave it. - Are you sure? But if you are not allowed to lift I will do it. - I replied. - It’s unnecessary, really not that important… - he hesitated. On Kathie’s face I could see the urge to go, so I didn’t force the issue any further

and we left the shop. - Sorry for taking so long. But he asked me to fetch him some red box, and I’m sure he said red. - Oh, no problem, you know how the poor Smith is, talking wild sometimes, but Taylor called me again, so let’s go! -Alright. We are ready to go. Within ten minutes we were there. It might have been better to resist my thirst for this short period.

Chapter 2

When we arrived everything was gleaming in a marvelous golden color. Lamps were everywhere, lighting the entire area. It was beautiful. As we were walking closer and closer, we could hear the gleeful cries of people jumping into the pool one after the other. Since we arrived kind of late, everyone was already there, drunk. Roughly all the graduates came, plus their friends, so it was an immense crowd. And of course there were the future participants of the summer training camp. They were nice indeed, I give it to them. Tom the host greeted us with a bottle of whiskey, saying that this is the last one and he managed to save it only for us. The others had drunk the rest of it, but there was a lot of alcohol left. His parents were at home as well, which could be a bit surprising, but not in their family. They are not an average family. They still go to parties, act unstrained and easy. They are incredibly funny, especially Tom’s father who, especially when tipsy, tells such stories that make me and everyone else split our sides. I always respected their way of handling wealth; they really had money to burn, but never acted superior or haughty pretending to be different from others. Lots of people do so… I was having a great time, Kathie of course went to Taylor at once, and I found company in others. It really held the promise of a super party. Almost all my friends were there and I know that several other parties of this kind are coming in the next few months, which I’m looking forward to very much, because at least it makes me forget that after all this, when fall comes, everyone’ll go to somewhere else. I’ll miss them. Especially now, after looking around this party. I’ll miss them indeed. I was a bit in my cups, but why not. Me drinking is a rare sight. I can have fun with alcohol or stuff, but somehow drinking felt really good this time. Mainly because everyone was foggy and I don’t know how I’d have handled the situation. Although I wasn’t drunk enough to do everything after them. Jumping into the pool one after the other, but this time naked. Now, they could have never induced me to do it. Later I found Nathan; I was happy to see him there. Nathan’s father was the leader of the training camp, so he received strict parenting. He always knew almost everyone from the camp because of this connection. Sometimes he helps

his father, and almost every year he is trying to find someone for me, with little success so far. I can already see that typical smile on his face. - I though you won’t come at all! I’ve called you a load of times. - meanwhile he kissed my cheek. - Sorry, but things dragged on. - And how was it with your kind little family? - he asked mockingly. - Fantastic… - And how do you like the party? - It’s very good, indeed! - I answered honestly. - And, do you fancy anyone? - he asked with a cute smile. - Oh, Nathan. Yeah, there’re a good number of nice guys this year. - Come on, I’ll introduce you to someone. - Nathan… - but he was already keeping my hand and pulled towards the others standing at the counter. - He’s Peter. He’s a rookie to the summer camp. - Hi! I’m Madison. - and he was offering his hand. - Peter! It’s nice to meet you after hearing so much about you. - at this point I looked at Nathan, wondering what he could have told about me, but he just kept smiling and left us alone. - I hope you’ve heard good things. - Yes, a lot of them. You are very nice. - he was talking with frequent halts, probably as a result of his consumption. - Thanks, it’s very kind of you, and are you looking forward to the camp’s setout?

- Yeeeah… I’m sorry, will be back in a minute. - and he ran away. He must have felt sick, looked quite awful already. I was a bit dizzy as well, so I had to go out to the garden to get some fresh air. This garden was so beautiful! The lamps shedding light on the smaller paths. They have a huge estate, you can’t even see the end of the garden… They even have their own family burial-ground. I sat down on a stone far from the crowd, because I had a thick head due to the noise. And I started thinking aloud. - What’s waiting us out there? - asked myself. - It’s what’s inside that truly counts, or so they say. - said a kind voice behind me. I suddenly turned back, but he sat down beside me without delay. I was about to swing off the stone when I saw him. I couldn’t believe my eyes. This guy looked exactly as the one I had seen on the photo today − a shocking resemblance. - I’m sorry, but I was sure that I am alone. Usually I don’t speak to myself. - I said trying to find an excuse. - Don’t apologize! Sometimes I do speak to myself and I think it is necessary. he encouraged me not to feel as an idiot. Oh my God, this guy was so beautiful. Seriously, I have never in my life seen such a beautiful pair of blue eyes. His hair was dark brown, as chestnut, and I was totally embarrassed when he sat down next to me. - You don’t mind me sitting next to you? - Not at all, it’s a pleasure. - I turned red and felt my face burning; luckily it was dark enough to hide it. - So you came to the training camp, too? - I asked him. - No, no. I came to my father; I’m living here from now on. I moved a few days

ago, but will stay a while. I was very young the last time we met. I’ve never been here before. But it’s a very nice place. I like this city. - Why? What did happen so that you meet only now after so long? You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to. - I didn’t want to be impolite, but I asked him. - We didn’t really have a good relationship. Maybe this is the best answer. - and he looked at me with those beautiful eyes. - You know, I can identify with that. But it must be very strange after so long. - Yes, it is an unusual situation. I’m sad to hear that you don’t have a good father-child connection either. I think it would be crucial for everyone. - I agree. - but I didn’t want to quiz him anymore, in spite of all the questions I had left. - By the way, I’m Christopher Wright! - he smiled nicely and offered his hand. - I’m Madison. Madison Moore. - I smiled back. - Nice to meet you, Madison. So you live here, in this nice city? - he inquired. - Yes, have been so for 18 years. I love living here. - I believe that; you know, when I arrived I felt there’s something in this city. - Did you? I also think there’s more to it. - my eyes twinkled. When you came here I meant what’s waiting us out there, in life. - I know. - and he looked up at the sky. - The stars are beautiful. - he pointed at them. - Yes, they truly are. - and I looked up, too. - You know, they are not visible from Los Angeles. I mean, photopollution is so strong there you can’t see them as clearly as here. - You’ve been living in Los Angeles so far? - I was surprised.

- Yes! Up until now, and I’ll miss it a bit. - Well, it’s not really close. It must be a beautiful city, but I’ve never been there. My grandparents have lived in California, I believe it was San Francisco, but unfortunately I haven’t been there either. - Yes, that’s a magical place as well, but a whole lot different from this city where everything is so calm. Everything. But it feels good. But Nathan and a few others just came to us and asked us to hurry back, for it’s midnight soon and there’s going to be a surprise we shouldn’t miss. I was a bit disappointed, because I’d have rather spent some more time speaking with Christopher. I felt really good in his company. And I was really interested in who he is. He resembled the guy on the photo in such a strange way. They might be distant relatives. But I don’t want to ask him about it, because they would surely take me for an idiot. When we went back, everyone was extremely drunk. They all gathered in the garden around the pool. Tom’s father was not sober either, but he gave quite a nice speech. He congratulated everyone and wished good luck in life, and of course he couldn’t resist telling a couple of good old stories. Then the countdown started. 10, 9, 8… 2, 1! And everybody rejoiced and the fireworks started. To be honest it might have been extravagant, but on the whole it was beautiful. Every rocket they shot up was golden and while everyone was looking at its glamour, a pleasant feeling came over me. After that everyone hugged; Nathan stood beside me and he suddenly snatched me up. Then the others embraced me too which made me feel a bit embarrassed. Maybe because my mother and the family were not from the hugging-kissing type, and very simply, I was not used to it. They rarely said I love you. They didn’t really express their feelings. But meanwhile I was looking for Christopher with my eyes; I wanted to speak more with him tonight. After the fireworks, a “flare-up” was inevitable. How would a party look without an argument, right? A big crashing sound took our attention, and it turned out to be a champagne bottle. Then as we were getting closer and closer to the source, there was a huge

splash at the pool. The only thing you could see was Kathie shrieking with Taylor at the top of her voice, who was trying to get out of the pool somehow. Everyone was looking at them. Nathan helped Taylor out of the water, but Kathie wanted to push him back again. At this point some of us took Kathie into the house to calm her down, which was not an easy task at all. She too was under the influence of liqueur and she looked infuriated. She said she had caught on Taylor at it with another girl. That was behind the big row. I stayed there for a while to comfort her, and I also recommended her to go home and get some rest, but she didn’t want to. After this I left the house because I felt dizzy again from all the weed and cig they were smoking. I was feeling better inhaling fresh air and started to look for the guy, but I could find him nowhere. Dawn was coming and the party was still on with a good number of people. I asked others whether they had seen him, and they told me he had gone home a good while ago, which made me a little sad. I also stayed a bit longer. I played drinking games and everything else the others brought, then I went into one of the rooms, because I felt tired; I didn’t want to sleep over there, but eventually I did so. I woke up at noon with nausea. When I left the room, it’s incredible, but the others were still partying. I just couldn’t imagine how they were doing it. I asked if I can help cleaning up or anything. But Tom’s family has a five-man staff, who are going to do everything, so I went home to get some rest. One of my friends offered me a lift, so at least I was saved from walking home. I would not have had the strength for it. Kathie had told me last night that she will take me home, but Tom has just informed me she left a few hours ago. And I don’t own a car, so I was very happy about this offer. I had a splitting pain in my head as if someone was constantly hitting it. I saw mother was at home too which made me realize it’s the weekend. And she was quite angry with me when I entered. - I thought you will never come home. Where have you been so long? I’ve called you hundreds of times! - she huffed at me.

- I’m sorry, but my phone is dead. But I told you I will be at Tom’s party - I explained. - Yeah-yeah, but you didn’t tell me you are coming home at this time. Yesterday when you left the restaurant everyone was a bit pissed off about your behavior, leaving us so early. - I’m sorry, but I had to. - I understand that, but today we are invited to lunch and we are already late because of you! - Great! - I mean, I would have no problem with it, but I felt sick. - Change your dress and we go. You have 20 minutes. - she was kind of mad with me. But I didn’t start arguing, took two painkillers instead and prepared myself quickly, because I know that grandma and grandpa won’t be here for long and came only to see me. It took too much time to get there. Mother was driving the car and she was listening to the music at max volume as if she knew how much it annoyed me. But I didn’t say a word. I was glad that my pain ceased. They set the table at father’s garden. This brought up some old forgotten memories about times when we shared good meals here outside and had fun. Grandma cooked and as always she did herself justice. She made an immense amount of food. She’s always doing that. The table was full and I became hungry just by looking at it. They turned happy seeing me with mother, but I felt a bit ashamed for leaving them yesterday. - I apologize for leaving so early yesterday. - I said looking down. - No problem, my dear! - said grandma kindly. - Sit here, next to me. - said grandpa.

I was happy to know that they were not offended. Although I could see it on father that he was still vexed with me. But I didn’t mind that; I just sat down and we started to eat. - Everything’s delicious, grandma! - I complimented. - Thank you darling. - And everyone was nodding and smiling at her. - And how was the party? - asked Lizz. And I realized only then how welldressed she was for the occasion, as if she were going to the theatre. It didn’t bother me, but it was fairly prominent. - I had fun. There was a huge crowd. An enormous one. And everyone was celebrating, so it was really a good party! - If only hangover didn’t exist, right? - mother ed, poking me. - Yeah, yeah, thanks mom. - I was holding my head in my hands. - Well, Mad, you know, some can handle drinks, and some cannot. - father threw in a bit of his wisdom. - And grandma, grandpa, how do you feel here? How long are you staying? - I changed the topic. - It’s very nice being here! - she smiled, but she must not have meant my mom. - We take a boat after lunch. It’s high time for it. - grandpa said delighted. - Really? - I asked with kindling eyes. It’s fantastic. I loved boating with him; we have a small boat, which my father keeps in shape; it’s not a brand new model, but it sails very well. - But we won’t stay for long, only a few days. We have to be back to business, work is waiting for us. - grandpa continued and gave father a scornful look for he had quit all this. But it was so obvious, that everyone could see it. - It’s a pity you can’t stay any longer. - it would have been really good, they come so rarely.

- And Madison, did you find any good lad last night? - Lizz changed the topic, because she was embarrassed because father has not been working because of her. - Ooh, there were many nice guys. - Now it was me who felt embarrassed. - And? Anyone? - she went on. - No, no one. - But I didn’t want to speak about this in front of everyone. Then I ed Christopher and I was thinking about how to talk or meet with him. - Don’t worry, you’ll surely find someone soon enough. - said mom. - Yeah, sure. - and I was thinking of Christopher again. - Well, now that we have finished lunch, we can get ready for boating, but first of all, we have a present for you. - told father and he raised from the table. - And what would it be? - I was very curious. - You’ll know it soon. - said grandpa. Then everyone stood up and told me to wait a bit here while father goes somewhere. I was very excited about the present. But no one said a word, they were only smiling at me. I felt hundreds of butterflies in my stomach. I wanted a cigarette badly, because grandma lit one too and I could feel its scent. I think it was vanilla flavored. I’m not a smoker and don’t want to become one, but for some reason I felt the urge at this moment. After five minutes we heard father coming back and saying that we can all go out now. I didn’t understand why we have to go outside, but when I saw what’s waiting for me there… - Oh my God! - I shrieked. - Oh my God! - I rejoiced. In front of the gates stood a beautiful dark blue jeep, the exact type I always wanted to have. - It’s incredible! Is this seriously mine? - I asked amazed.

- Of course! It’s yours. - they said together. - You shouldn’t have spent so much on me. - I said, looking at them. - Really, I mean it. - Oh Madison, you deserve it! - said grandma and she hugged me. - I’m terribly glad! - I said thankfully. I sat in the car and went on a few rounds. I asked if anyone wanted to come, but they encouraged me to go alone. Driving this car was wonderful. I was so happy. I’ve had my license for more than a year, but I’ve been driving my mother’s car so far. If she didn’t need it for her work, of course. So I was unspeakably glad to own a car. I could not have received a better present. - It’s very good! I love this car! - I sighed when I returned to the house. Everyone was happy because of my happiness, so I have already forgotten feeling sick from the party. - Always drive carefully! You know how sharp some of the turns are in the mountains. - mother warned. - Mom, I know! I know! Oh God, thanks for everyone! Then I thanked again for hundreds of times. Soon, we departed to the lake, because grandpa said the weather today is fitting for some boating. Upon arrival they checked a few things on our boat. It was waiting for us on the shore. You could not have erased the smile from my face. Even Lizz and mother talked a bit, which was a good sign. I swam to the boat to refresh myself in the lovely, warm water, and of course because I loved swimming. The others got in at the stage. The weather was beautiful, everyone was watching and enjoying the beautiful mountains, forests and the surface of the water. I lied down to rest and sunbath, but I fell asleep. I don’t know how many hours I slept, but it was getting dark when grandpa woke me up, and so we started to get

back to the shore. I needed a few minutes to come to myself again. - What’s the time? - I asked grandpa. - 20:05! - He always precisely knew the time, as if he had a clock in his head. - Damn! - I grabbed my head. - How could I fall asleep like this? - I asked myself. - I’ll be late. - I grumbled, but by that time we were almost at the shore. - But where from, my dear? - grandma asked. - I have a meeting with someone. - and I was already off the boat. - Thanks for everything, but I have to hurry now. I quickly ran to the car, hopped into it and was on the way in an instant. Yesterday Nathan and I agreed that I’ll dine at their place today. - Oh, damn. Time flew by! - I kept repeating. Nathan was lucky to live close to the lake, something I always envied, because there was a good view from his window looking at the lake, and we often sat there talking and fooling around. But I was almost there in front of their house when on the side of the last turn, there was a deer. It almost crossed my path, but I was fortunate enough to step on the breaks in time. - I hate it! Why is it that if you are afraid of something, it is constantly floating in front of your eyes? I arrived at Nathan’s one hour late. I parked quickly and went in. He was in the kitchen, drinking something. - Hi, sorry for being late. - Hi Madison! Come, sit down. - he said kindly. - I’m really sorry. - I looked around, but saw no one except for Nathan.

- Well, you’ve missed dinner, but I put some food aside for you. What’s up with your phone? I’ve called you a couple of times. - Damn, I’ve forgotten to charge it up since last night. I’m all over the place today. Were your parents very angry with me? - Oh no, not at all. But they’ve left already. They had to go to the hospital and everyone else accompanied them, because grandpa was told to sleep in for a few days. Just for control. - I’m really sorry. - and wouldn’t you like to go after them? - I asked with sympathy. - No, you know… - But he changed the subject quickly. Of course I knew that for Nathan, hospitals are just like for me: I’m unable to go there because it only makes me feel worse. He had some bad experience in a hospital once and he’s not really keen on going back. I can fully understand that and hopefully I won’t ever have to go there frequently. - Once again, it’s a regular examination. Mother just called me that everything is fine. - I’m glad to hear that - I smiled. - Are you hungry? There’s a lot of food, you know how my mother is when it comes to family events and cooking. - No, no, thank you. Lunch made me so full I can last till tomorrow without any food. Grandma cooked a lot, too. - I laughed. - Woow! Is that yours, Madison? Seriously? - he was looking out of the window surprised. - Yes! I got it as a present from my family. - Pfff. It’s beautiful. - and we were already outside at the car. - Can we go for a ride? - Yes, of course. Let’s go!

- Wait a sec, I’ll close the doors. - He was back in an instant. - Well, I got a pile of law books… - he laughed. - I’m sorry to hear that. - it felt embarrassing. -I didn’t mean that; you know how much I love the field and these books will come handy in the university. - he insisted. - Yeah, sure. - I didn’t want to disagree, I was not in the mood to talk it over for the thousandth time, we both know that it is not him who wants to go, but his parents make him… - Do you want to drive? To try it? - I asked. - Of course! - and we were already in the car. The sky was very clear now, without any trace of fog. The moon shed its light upon everything, the roads, too, acting as a light post. I was calm, I like it when Nathan is driving, I always feel safe beside him. - So, how is it? - I asked curiously. - Great! It takes the turns smoothly, accelerates in seconds and the brakes are perfect. Yeah, it’s completely different with a new car. This week I finish repairing my car, it doesn’t need much more and after that, if you want to, we can go you know where… - Ohhh! Really? It’d be so good! It’s a very good idea. It’s been long since we were there and this is our last summer. - Yes, I’m also looking forward to it, but don’t say it’s our last summer; we will have plenty more occasions to go where we please. - he said firmly. - I hope so! - and I was looking at him sadly. We have a secret place with Nathan, one of our favorites, not far from the city where special flowers bloom at this time of the year. We find it special, because we have been searching for this kind of flower, but couldn’t identify it and it has

an intoxicating smell. It’s like finding your favorite perfume - even if you use others later, this one will be yours forever. - And did you enjoy last night’s party? - I tried to bring back the original topic, because I wanted to ask him if he knows Christopher. - Of course, everything was cool. We could have been better without that dispute. I really feel bad for Kathie and cannot for the life of me understand how Taylor can act as a bullock, not valuing that girl. - Nathan has always been openhearted, so I agreed with him. - Yeah, I have no idea why. I’ll speak with Kathie tomorrow. - I saw you had some fun as well, right? With Christopher. - he added, with a slightly mocking tone. - So you know him? - I inquired. - Yes… And I wanted to speak about this with you. - his voice became more serious and parked the car at the side of the road. - I don’t understand you. What’s the matter? - I asked as someone cursed, who knows that bad news is inevitably on the way, because she has had some good time recently. - You know, Mad, you are like a little sister to me, please, don’t misunderstand me, I’m glad you’ve met someone. But… - What “but”? - Not the right person. - What do you mean by this? - I asked unknowingly. - I need to tell you what I know about him. - and he looked deep into my eyes. - I’m listening! - I said somewhat unsettled, but distinctly. - Christopher is different from us. - he started. - Where do you take this from? In what sense is he different? You don’t even

know him, ok, neither do I, but come on. - now I was restless. - Hey, let me finish, ok? - Alright! - I drew back. - I know that he is going to move here, that is, he has already moved here which alone is strange in itself, just tell me who would like to come here to this godforgotten place? - Uhmm. – I wanted to interrupt asking for explanation. - And I heard he had done something, something which caused him to come here to his father, because it was unforgivable and this change of place was his punishment… - Is this for real? You must be joking, right, Nathan? You can’t believe a lame gossip like that. He had to come here, because he wanted to see his father after a long separation. – I explained. - Do you know who his father is at all? Hm? Robert Wright! - You say what? What? Where do you get this from? – I asked, doubting. - I just know it! And I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Think about it. - Listen to me, Nathan. I don’t know him, but based on what he said and what I know about him, there’s nothing wrong with him. Moreover, I’m interested in him, and I want to meet him again to know him better. I don’t believe anything of these gossips. People can say whatever they want about him, you know how they usually are. They are mean. Everyone busies themselves with others’ lives instead of managing their own. I don’t care about these malevolent things. And if his father is indeed Robert Wright, I couldn’t care less. I accept it, end of story. - Ok Mad, don’t get yourself worked up. You know I want the best for you. I’m a bit worried. - I know, but still… Why is it that everything good comes with something bad?

- Precisely because that’s the way you see it. I’d rather say it’s the other way around. - Oh yes, now it’s much better. – I crossed my arms and turned away. - Madison, look at me. I’m just asking you to be careful with him. - But I… - and his phone started ringing. - Sorry, but I have to pick it up. – And he got out of the car. He was walking around it and I could catch a few words. When he came back, he seemed to be upset. - I have to go home now. – and he started the engine. - What happened? – I was a bit worried. - Nothing bad, but my family came home and I have to go, too. - Of course, let’s go. When we returned, I didn’t go in, didn’t want to disturb anyone, it was very late already. I drove home; I was very tired. Took a shower and went to bed, and now I fell asleep exceptionally quickly. Usually I stay awake for hours, because I keep thinking about every kind of things and at a point I come to the realization that I’ve been awake, tossing in my bed for hours. Simply because there’s always something new that comes to my mind.

Chapter 3

It’s Sunday. When I opened my eyes the sun was shining into my room, usually its rays don’t wake me up, but now it really targeted my eyes and I couldn’t go on sleeping. I went down to the kitchen, mother was making pancakes, you could feel the tasty smell in the entire house, and I love pancakes. This is the only food that mother can make well. Unfortunately she is not gifted in cooking. - Good morning! – she greeted me kindly. - Same for you… Is there any coffee by chance? - Sure, it’s on the table, but I was called a bit earlier that a new resident had arrived and he wants to buy a house the sooner the better, and I was summoned… On Sunday… Couldn’t say I’m happy, but work is work. - But who on earth wants to buy a house on Sunday? - I don’t know, but he must be doing well. They say he wants a big house, which is good for me it, it means higher commission. - On Sunday. – I mumbled myself, stirring the sugar in my coffee meanwhile. - Well, any day can be ruined, but I’m done with complaining. I need to hurry. Bring in the post, I don’t have time for that and haven’t checked it for a while. - Bye, I’m coming back as I can. - Alright, bye. On Sunday! I think this day is radically different from all the rest. Once I heard that if we take a full week, the most suicides are committed on Sunday. Because on this day, people are usually at home with their families, spending the whole day together. But those who have no family… Drinking my coffee pulled me together and I brought in the post; there were a lot of letters indeed, I put them down on the table and ate some pancakes. It was immensely delicious. While eating, I was thinking about going back to Smith’s shop today since he stayed open 0-24 almost every day, even on holidays, and I

want to ask if he knows Christopher; maybe the photo I saw there portrays a distant relative and then he might know where they live now. Perhaps Nathan knows, too, but I don’t want to ask him, and I think he might not even tell. I don’t get it why he wants to put me off this guy. I prepared myself quickly and departed. Not many people were inside the shop, almost no one, actually, and I found Smith only after a few minutes, because he was arranging things in the store-room. - Good day! – I greeted him a bit low-toned. - Hello Madison! – he appeared to be happy to see me. – What can I do for you? – he asked. - Uhm, I just want some skim milk… - Maybe it’s better to ask if I buy something. - Here you are. - Thank you. – I was looking at him with puppy-eyes. - Do you need anything else? – he asked. - Yes, there’s something I want to ask from you. - Go for it, I’m glad to help when I can. - I want to ask if you know Christopher Wright by chance, he moved here recently. – but I became doubtful when I uttered the words, it might have been a bad idea to ask this. - Christopher Wright? – he was thinking. - No, I don’t believe so. Robert Wright, yes, I know him. – he went on. - Yeah, he must be his father. – I replied. - He’s a very kind man, always polite, though he has never come here and I honestly doubt that he ever will, but I’ve heard lots of good things about him and he always attends the city council, that’s where I know him from.

- Why do you ask, my dear? – Suddenly I had no answer to this; I couldn’t say he owned a photo which was the spitting image of Christopher, so I didn’t bring up the topic at all. I should not have come here in the first place. - Doesn’t matter… It’s not important. – I explained. I paid for the milk and wanted to get out of the shop. - Wait, Madison! You know, my father told me again and again that nothing happens without reason, everything has its purpose. – and he turned away, heading back to the store-room. I didn’t really get what he was trying to say with this. – I stood witless at the door for a few moments then I went back to my car. When I opened the door, I noticed Kathie’s car in the parking lot. I felt ashamed, but I was really planning to give her a call and ask how she is. I went to her car; she was sitting in it alone staring out of the window. - Hey! Hello Kathie! – I knocked on the window. - Hi Madison! – Apparently she had no idea about her own whereabouts for a second, but then she shook her head and opened the door. - What are you doing here? – I asked surprised. - I came to do the shopping, because the fridge is empty, but I could not have made myself go in yet. – and she looked into the mirror, rubbing her eyes to conceal that she had cried. - You know I was thinking about dropping by your place to talk a bit. I’m very sorry about what happened at the party. Really. - Hm, me too, believe me. I was shocked, he had a place in every single plan of mine, I even found job for both of us, then he gibes it. Up until now I’ve been mad with him, but not now, now I’m just terribly sad. – and she got out of the car. - So it’s really over now? Don’t you want to talk it over with him when everything calms down? - No! Not yet! He is continuously trying to me, without a break, really, but I don’t want to speak with him… Maybe later. Maybe.

- I’m really sorry, but if you feel like it, we can talk it over somewhere. - Thank you Mad, you are nice. Next week we can sit in somewhere, but I need to go now, because everyone at home is waiting for me and I’ve bought nothing so far. - Alright! Call me anytime! – I encouraged her. - Thanks. See you! – and she headed straight to the shop. - Bye! – after a short pause I went to my car. It must be terrible what she is going through right now, I honestly hope that it’s going to get better as time es. And I hope the same won’t ever happen to me. It’s been more than a full week since the final exams. My grandparents went home a few days ago. I was glad to meet them especially since it is so rare. But they told me they will come again soon, if they can, or I could visit them as well. I haven’t been there for a dreadfully long time, though I love their place, their house, the whole city as it is, I love it, we always do something, I never get bored with them. Nathan and I decided to go to our secret place today. I’ve been waiting for this day very much. I’ve even checked the forecast, something I never do, just to make sure it is going to be a perfect day, not ruined by the weather. We’re going to have a beautiful day. So they said. I’ll believe that. We’re going with Nathan’s car, because he’s done repairing it and eager to show me the results of all his hard work. I heard he was there, at the gates, talking with mom and I could see it from my window that he brought flowers for her. Yellow violets, my mother’s favorites. - Nathan! – I shouted from the window. – Wait a min and I’ll be there! – But first I had to pack a few things for the trip. - Hi there, wow, it looks amazing! – I was looking at his car. – A truly original color. – I couldn’t hold it back, I had to laugh, it came with a burst, but I saw he didn’t mind it and ed my laughter instead. - Alright, alright, I had no other option. – he explained.

- But it’s gorgeous… - I was still laughing. - Hey, Madison, it’s enough. – he warned me carefully. - Okay, but at least you will be very flashy on the streets. – The entire car was cyclamen. I don’t know, it didn’t really match Nathan’s personality. It was terrible, and Nathan knew it, too. - Look, it wasn’t me, but my brothers… They thought it’s a good prank. Well, it is, but when I have some time to spare I’ll repaint it. - How kind of them… - I replied. – Nonetheless, you brought it into good shape. – and I took a good look at the details meanwhile. – Where did mother go? She was standing here a second ago. - Yes, but she was already in a hurry when I met her; she was going to work. - I saw you brought her flowers. It was very kind of you, but shouldn’t have troubled with it. - They’re blooming in our garden at this time of the year, and I know she loves them. - Yes, indeed. – I confirmed. - Come, hop in. I’ll show you how it goes. – he was looking at me excited. - Ok, let’s go. When we wanted to go, I ed that I had forgotten to take my phone, but I didn’t mind, why waste the time going back? - It goes really well. You’re a handyman, Nathan, you could work as a mechanic. – but he didn’t reply, even though he knew, just like me that law is not his thing. The travel time is around half an hour starting from the city’s border. Roads are in a bad shape around here and it’s easy to get lost, that’s exactly how we got to our secret place once. But it was a worthy mistake. - I talked with Taylor and asked him about Kathie. How they are right now.

- Oh, I have not spoken with Kathie for a long time, again… So I’m completely in the dark now. – I replied. - What I know is that Taylor keeps trying. But Kathie won’t give him one more chance, which I can’t understand. - You can’t? Strange to hear that from you. I think it’s understandable. - No, because Taylor drank a lot and alcohol can make you do things otherwise you wouldn’t. - Ok, that’s true, but not an excuse. - Not fully, but I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. – and we left the city’s border. - You have a point there, but this doesn’t always apply, there are occasions when you can’t give a second chance. But it’s their business. - Yeah, sure, but I’d give him one more. You know, he regrets it deeply and feels awful. - Hmmm. I’ll try to speak with Kathie about this. – and I was looking out of the window, lest we turn onto the wrong path. - It’s alright! - Uhmm, Nathan, I think we turned down at the wrong place. - Not at all, we are at the right place. – he insisted. - Nay, this place is not familiar. - But this must be it, turning left straight from the main road and that’s where I came. - Ok, but you know how easy to miss it. - I didn’t miss it, but you know we haven’t been here lately and it’s gone all weedy…

- You think so? - Yeah! - And new tress grew? I didn’t know they are so fast at it… Oh, and did they pave the road as well? – I laughed at Nathan, but he didn’t find it funny, because he hates being mistaken. - Eh, you might be right. – he started to accept that we are in a totally wrong place. - I’m turning back at the end of the street. – and I saw he felt aggrieved. - Oh, Nathan, chill, I couldn’t get there off the cuff either. – tried to mend the situation. - What a long road. – I remarked. I’ve never been here, huge trees spread their foliage everywhere along the road, the branches hanging over the way, too low, and the ground itself was paved in big, rough stones which made our drive rocky. - Quite a ghastly place, isn’t it? – I asked him in a low voice. - Yes, it’s pretty dark due to all the trees. – he answered. Finally, this long road came to an end in an enormous gate, sided by an endless fence. As we were getting closer, we could see a sports car parked near the gate, and Christopher was standing next to it. First I thought I’m just seeing things, but no, it was really him. I felt my nerve in my stomach, don’t know why, maybe because I didn’t expect this, to meet him here. The car was slowing down. - Look who’s there! – Nathan looked at me taunting. - Stop here and let’s get out. – I answered. - Not me. – he protested. - Nathan, don’t be so childish, let’s say hello. – I turned on him. – Eventually both of us got out and walked to him.

- Hi! – I said a bit awed, and Nathan mumbled hi under his nose, but I guess no one else heard it. - Hello! – he was looking surprised, right in the process of cleaning his car when we arrived. I looked at Nathan and wanted to introduce him to Christopher, but Nathan turned away. - Are you lost? – he started kindly. - Yes-yes, we turned on the wrong road. -No! – Nathan interrupted and I looked at him uncomprehending. – We wanted to check what’s here. – he went on, and I didn’t want to argue with him. - Well, this here is my home. – he pointed behind his back, but we could see nothing from the huge trees. - And are you looking around in the neighborhood now? – asked Christopher and with those beautiful light blue eyes, he looked deep into my eyes. - Not really. We have a dear place close here, an open area, a slash and sometimes we go there to talk, and stuff like that… - Sounds good, must be a very nice place as quasi everything around. But I don’t think I’ve ever been there. - If you want, I can show it sometime. – and I was peeping in through the gates. – I bet it feels good living here, right? – I inquired. - Yes, things are getting better and father has a really nice estate. The only problem with it is the distance from the city centre. – Nathan started to cough idiotically as if trying to suggest leaving. It was getting embarrassing; I don’t know why he had to act like this… - Is this blood? – he asked very loudly pointing at the front of the car. I looked there and indeed, it was red with blood. - Yes, it is. Unfortunately I ran over a deer on the road. – Christopher answered. - I’m sorry. – I said.

- But it didn’t die which surprised me. It hit the car with a smack, and when I stopped and looked around, it wasn’t there. - And how could it leave when your car is so gory? – Nathan asked with a touch of challenge in his voice. But Christopher didn’t reply. I looked at Nathan and you could tell he is just about to burst with rage, so I found it better to leave the spot before he says something he shouldn’t… - But we really have to go now, come on Madison! – called Nathan and I didn’t object. - Fine. – I answered. I looked at Christopher and I wanted to speak with him more, so I asked him. - Tomorrow afternoon we’re going to the shore with the others, if you feel like it, come along. – Nathan got back to the car meanwhile. - Happily! – he smiled at me which made me blush. - See you tomorrow then! - I’m glad we met again. - Me too. – I got in the car and Nathan drove away damn fast, as if being chased. He didn’t say a word on the way and I did the same, maybe he calms down when we get there. But when we were almost there I couldn’t stand it anymore. - Just what’s the matter? – I asked, but got no answer. – You hear me? Nathan? – he parked the car, got out of it and slammed the door. I got out too and ran to him. - Don’t act like this. If there’s something, tell me. – I shouted at him. - Are you so blind, Madison? - What? - You could see it! I told you this guy is not for you. His car was all bloody!

- Yes! Since he hit a deer. - And you believe that? - Of course. The same happened to you last summer, I don’t understand why you’re so freaked out. I’m sorry about the animals, but I’m sure it wasn’t deliberate from him just how it wasn’t from you. - Yes, I ran one over, but it stayed there, because it hit my car hard, smashed my windscreen, still, there wasn’t a single scratch on his car. - You idiot! – Damn, was I angry now. - And why? Because you can’t see the truth? - What truth? - I think he didn’t hit a deer, but something else happened. - I think you watch loads of stupid series. - Of course… - You can’t exactly know how he hit the deer, you weren’t there. And again, you were a butt even before that. – So what do you have against him? - Nothing! I just don’t like anything he says. - I won’t take that, I know you better, what do you know about him that you won’t tell? But when I asked him he seemed to examine himself and calmed down, took back from his manner, but didn’t says what he knew. I didn’t force the issue, I didn’t want to argue, but only to have a nice day and have fun. I went to the car and unpacked what I prepared at home. Nathan also came and helped me, we set the plaid on the grass, lied down on it, and we were watching the clouds. As children we used to play a game like this, watching the clouds and trying to make out shapes of other things from it. But somehow I felt that the only one fascinated by this game is me. Because no matter how small the cloud was, I

could always find a familiar form in it, and when it was taken away by the wind, it transformed into another one. Nathan was also trying to identify a shape in them, but he didn’t always succeed. But I appreciated his willingness to play with me. - Aw, Nathan, don’t be angry with me, I hate it when we’re arguing. – I sighed. - Believe me, I don’t like it either. - And how’s your grandfather? Any better? – I inquired. - Yes-yes, he’s already at home with us, has no problems, the same as he was. – but he said it somewhat sad. - I’d like to talk with him if I can. - Then drop by tomorrow morning. You’d surely gladden him. - Alright, can’t wait for it; he can always cheer me up with his jokes. - You can say that again. – he laughed. - I’ll miss you. A lot. – I was gloomy, but he didn’t say a word. - But will you visit me often? And call me regularly? – I asked, but no answer again. At this point I took a look at him and saw his face clearly; he was still watching the clouds. A huge cloud covered the sun, a big rain-cloud, which I didn’t understand since the forecast hadn’t called it. - Why don’t you come with me? – and he looked back at me. - I can’t, you know very well. - Of course you can. - No, not until I know what I want. It would be in vain… - You won’t ever know it staying here, Madison.

- But I can’t go! I’m sure I’ll find it out soon what to do with my life and then everything’s going to be alright. - But… - he wanted to interrupt. - Deep inside I feel I have to stay here. – I continued. - I don’t want you to get lost. To not find an answer and be in despair, unknowing what’ll happen next… - Believe me, that’s not what I want either. - I want you to be happy. – he said. - Hmm, happy? Who wouldn’t love that? - Don’t be cynical. - I’m not. - You are. - Everyone wants to be happy, right? But everyone feels so for a different reason. Money, work, family, friends, whatever, it doesn’t matter. But what if you don’t know what could make you happy? We lied under the open sky for a while watching the clouds floating above us. It was so good here. But the clouds were getting bigger and you could see lightning afar. Then suddenly I noticed something! - Nathan! – I cried out and got up. - Hm? – but he stayed lying. - Nathan, sit up. - What is it? What’s the matter? - Don’t you miss something? – I looked at him, maybe he will notice it too. - No. I don’t know what you mean. What should I think of?

- Haven’t you realized that there are no flowers? – he scowled and we both stood up, took a look around searching for them. They’ve always been where the forest begins, surrounding this little opening. When we went closer to see it, the wind grew stronger and it started to rain. - What happened to them, Nathan? – I pointed at them. All the flowers died out which filled me with a very bad feeling. I felt sorry for them. - I don’t know, maybe they dried. – guessed Nathan, but it was not a plausible reason, for it was always raining here. - Very good. – I was in a fret. Then Nathan started to act very oddly, he was standing next to me on the edge of the forest, above the flowers, but he was not looking at them, but stared into the forest as if he saw something interesting inside. - Shouldn’t we leave soon? – I had to ask this a lot louder, because the wind carried away my voice. - Nathan? You hear me? Let’s go! – Rain was pouring down, but he stood erect staring into the dark amid the trees. I don’t know what came to him, but slowly he started to go towards the forest. - What are you doing? Where are you going? – I shouted at him, but he wasn’t like himself, as if I wasn’t there. And he was going further and further, and I followed. When I wanted to grab his arm he suddenly started to run and went ever inside. - Nathan! – I was yelling after him, but he didn’t react, just ran and ran and I rushed after him as fast as I could. - Nathan, wait! I can’t run this fast! – Don’t leave me here! - Nathan! – But he was too fast for me to follow. I was terribly worried. It was raining very hard, and it became dark, but I ran, ran after him as I could. I completely lost his track, but I didn’t mind it, just went deeper inside the forest.

Twigs and bushes were everywhere and I felt them scratch my arms and legs, but I didn’t care, only about him. But as I ran, suddenly there was a big pit-hole in my path, which I didn’t notice and I fell into it, and when I was about to hit the ground, I wanted to soften the dropping with my right hand, but a thick twig was there and it pierced my hand. Blood was flowing out of it and it gave me horrible pain. First I collapsed, but then I gathered myself and stood up; I tried to pull it out of my hand, but couldn’t. The pain was increasing, but founding Nathan seemed more important, so I got out of the pit and tried to run onward, but everything was covered in mud and when I yelled Nathan’s name, I got no answer; I started to fear. I don’t know how far I went, but pretty far, because it darkened and I couldn’t see a thing. My hand hurt terribly, I tried to bind it with my T-shirt somehow. I set off to the other direction and I was thinking about going back to the car and calling help, but I didn’t find the way back. I was utterly lost. For hours, I was walking in the dark. Later, it stopped raining, fortunately, and with the clouds gone, the moon’s light shined the forest and I could see where I stepped. It felt as if there hadn’t been a storm at all. I kept going and I reached an open area surrounded by dense overgrowth. I kneeled in the middle, I was exhausted and tried to muster my remaining strength to finally pull the twig out of my hand. And at last I succeeded. I shrieked from the blasted pain, but I could pluck it out. This way I could bind it better with part of my T-shirt. I looked around and tried to comprehend what just happened. – Where could Nathan be? What came to him? – these questions circulated in my mind. – Why did he leave me alone here? In all my life, this forest has been haunting me, always. I don’t want to stay here, don’t want to get swallowed by it. I tried to give my hand a more decent treatment and when I looked up I saw a figure. He freaked me out, but I had no choice, so I ran to him asking for help. - Hey! Please! Help me! – But he stood with his back to me and made no response to my cries.

When I reached him, he turned back slowly; the whole scene was terrifying. It was a young guy, could not have been older than me, tall, black-haired and he had the same blue eyes as Christopher. - Please, help me, I’ve lost my friend. – I gasped, tried to reel off what had happened, but he interrupted. He pushed me away and I hit the ground. He was looking at me then he spoke. - Go away from here! – he shouted and I was looking at him obtuse and tried to get up again. - You must! – he told again. - Get out of here if you want to live. Quickly! – then he grabbed my arm and pushed me into the woods. – Run! Quickly! – he shouted after me. I was so clueless. I was confused. I ran away from the spot, just hurried away, could barely stand on my legs, but I kept getting deeper and deeper in the forest. I was no longer thinking about anything, solely about getting farther. I don’t know how long exactly I’ve run, but I couldn’t keep it up anymore, I was totally worn down. I collapsed to the ground and lied down; I had to rest. But somehow I knew I was not alone, I felt that someone is there besides me. I felt cold, very cold, and I fell asleep.

Chapter 4

Disinfectant. I’d recognize this peculiar scent anywhere. It gives me the shivers, I’ve always hated it no matter where I felt it. I heard various kinds of noises, ever louder, then it was as if everything beeped. I opened my eyes slowly. I saw the snow-white walls and the infusion in my hand. As regained my consciousness, I could see a bunch of flowers at the end of the room, on the table, on the floor, everywhere. But the flowers’ scent I didn’t feel, only that of the hospital. Kathie was sitting next to my bed, she leaned her head on the edge of the bed. I moved my leg by an inch and heavy-headed I asked in a low voice what happened. - Kathie. – I called her name. Then suddenly she leapt up and was terribly happy for me. She sit down on the bedside next to me and she hugged me, then said: - Oh my God, I’m so happy you woke up. How do you feel? – but I scowled and push her away a bit to ask: - Where am I exactly? What happened? Kathie? – but she didn’t answer, just looked at me in a way I’ve never seen from her, which made me frightened. The only thing she said was: - It’s going to be alright, now you’re here with us. – she tried to console me and she became misty-eyed. - Kathie. What happened? – I asked getting angry. - Wait, I’ll tell the doctor you woke up. – and she was about to leave the room. - Kathie! Wait! – I shouted after her, and felt my head splitting apart. She turned back and looked at me, then came back again. - Look Madison, it’d be probably better hearing it from another person. - I don’t care, say it, what the heck is going on? - You’d been in the forest for two days before the hunters found you. We were looking for you everywhere and thank God, you were not severely injured. – she

smiled. - Nathan. – I yelled his name. – Nathan, how is he? Did you find him too? Where is he? - Mad, don’t get yourself agitated. The most important thing is that nothing bad can happen now. - What are you talking about? Can’t you hear what I’m asking? Where is Nathan? – but the doctor entered the room in the meantime and he came to me, and Kathie squeezed my hand strongly and left. - I’m glad you are conscious now. My name is Dr Hard. – he said kindly and came closer. – How do you feel? Aren’t you dizzy? – he tried to go on inquiring. - There’s nothing wrong with me. – I burst out. – Except no one is willing to tell me anything. Where is Nathan? - The most important thing now is to keep calm. – and he started enlisting what had happened to me: hypothermia, dehydration, etc… - Why does everyone take me for a stupid? – I cut in. And it made him stop, then go on after a few seconds. - I have to inform you with my deep regrets that Nathan Shaw deceased in tragic circumstances. – But when he told that I felt as if someone has put a glass bell on my head, I heard the sounds blunt, everything, the doctor talking. I saw Kathie coming in again, and that she stops behind the doctor and starts crying. My chest felt tight, I could hardly breathe, my head was splitting, but I couldn’t utter a word. I just stared stiffly forth and stared… I felt myself getting worse. I felt dizzy and the smell of that rotten disinfectant made me choke. The sick-ward was turning giddy with me. There was a small table next to me, and a glass of water on it which I drank all. What I could make out of the doctor’s words was that they informed my parents about my awakening and they will be here soon. And I heard better what the doctor was saying, everything was getting clearer.

- Fortunately you have received no dire injury. We treated your hand, and it will cause you no problems in the future. – he reassured me. – In the afternoon, the police wants to ask a few questions regarding the case. – he said, but the only thing I could say was: - I’d like to get some rest, some sleep. – I tried to say it calmly, pretending to feel ok, or better. - It’s only natural. I’ll check in later. But if some problem occurs, there’s a button over your head, push it, and a nurse comes immediately. – he said. I slid down in the bed, covered myself and I turned away to the window’s direction and I closed my eyes. I heard them going out of the room with Kathie. I could think of Nathan only. I didn’t want to believe it. Simply I couldn’t, to believe he is no more. I couldn’t cry, felt only a huge pressure in my chest, as if sinking, deeper and deeper again as if swallowed by the earth. I waited for about ten minutes. There was a big black clock on the wall which was very annoying. 11:00 sharp. I sat up and pulled the tubes out of my hand, took out the needle as well and kicked the blanket off me. On one of the chairs I saw clean clothes, someone must have brought them in, I dressed quickly, but my hands trembled heavily during the process. I looked out of the window, saw the road and by that time I perfectly knew where to go. An ambulance car just arrived so it was very crowded near the entrance. – Perhaps this is my chance. – I said softly. I went to the door and opened it carefully, and I kept my eyes open for the best opportunity to slip out. Luckily I saw no one, so I sneaked out of the room straight to the fire stairs. I rushed down on them as far as the ground floor, but by the time I got there the world was swirling around my head, but I didn’t care. I left through the door and first I started to walk as everyone else, then I increased the pace and increased it again then eventually I started to scurry. I scurried along the road, far from this horrible place. And then I felt my tear dropping from my eyes and I felt how the pressure inside was getting weaker.

It started to pour with rain, thus hiding my tears. I couldn’t sprint anymore so I stopped for a while and went on walking. I had a terribly guilty conscience. Never before have I felt this feeling so strong. I still couldn’t comprehend that Nathan died. – Just how? How? Because of me? – solely these questions revolved in my head. But a car was coming on the road, I noticed it because it was coming very fast, then when it ed me it instantly put the brakes on and stopped on the side of the road. Then I recognized that it is Christopher’s car, it is really him. He got out of the car and walked towards me. I was standing there with my eyes drowned in tears and looking at this. Upon reaching me he grabbed my arm. - Come! I have to tell you something. Get into the car. – he ordered me. I didn’t object, got in and tried to collect myself. I’ve got no idea what scent was in the car, but it was pleasant and it soothed me. My intuition told me that Christopher knows everything. That he knows the answers. But before I could have put my questions forth, we set off with pedal to the metal. - Where are we going to? - I asked confused, and meanwhile I felt on my legs the dripping rain from my hair. - To our place. - he answered. - And tread on the gas even more to get there as soon as possible. - But why? What’s going on, Christopher? - You’ll learn soon. - and he said nothing after this. And I looked at myself in the window-glass, then stared out and watched how the drops of rain move on the glass. When we arrived at the house I gave him a surprised look. Up until now I’d seen the gates only, but as we proceeded, I took a glance of their huge house. I’m sure that any other time I’d have paid more attention to it, and it’d be interesting. But not now, now the only thing I wanted were answers. He helped me out of the car, and I felt much better by this time. I wasn’t dizzy

and felt little to no pain in my body. We entered the house it was truly huge, enormous. But it was so empty. It was missing something. Maybe life. We ascended the stairs and he led me to his room. But this room was different from the house, very different. It was pleasant and calm, almost everything was white and light because of the enormous windows. That room was around half the size of our house. I sat down on a chair, then he brought me a blanket which he spread over me. I felt a bit cold, yes, most likely because of the rain. - This house is very nice. - I said. - And only the two of you live in this enormous house? - Yes, only the two of us. - he answered. - There would be place for a lot though… I don’t even know what I’m talking about. - he sat down on the bed facing me. - You want something? If yes, don’t hesitate to ask. - Yes, I want. Now I want answers. - I tried to smile, but couldn’t. - Will you finally tell me what’s going on? I’m sure you have an answer for everything. - I was getting myself worked up. But he didn’t say anything. My eyes went watery and my head was revolving around Nathan. - You know, if you don’t stay anything, I leave. - I looked at the direction of the door. - I must deserve at least that much, right? - I went on. - Yes Madison, but you know everything in this case is much more complicated than you imagine. Nothing is black and white here. - he said seriously. - What do you by this? Then why did you bring me here? - I yelled. - Because there are things you have to know. But you will have questions I can’t answer yet, which you must understand. - I’m no fool, I’ll understand. But you have to say something! - Believe me, you will learn everything soon, and then you will see why I’m

saying so little now. - Alright! What did happen to Nathan? - However, when I asked this I was no longer crying but I was very serious. - He died. Which I feel sorry for, that it had to happen like this. - And do you know how? Or why? - Yes, but I can’t tell you. The main thing is that you will be interrogated by the police and they will tell you that Nathan was attacked by wild animals and that’s how he died. - Wild animals? - Yes, they tried to find the most reasonable explanation. But I really can’t tell you the exact details. I’m sorry. It must be extremely difficult to accept that. - He died because of me, didn’t he? - my voice trembled. - No! - he said distinctly. - I would not have gone to the opening had I not found those flowers… You know, Nathan just stared sternly into the forest and ran in without saying a word and I’ve got no idea why. - If only I could run faster… - It’s not your fault. - he interrupted, and he came closer, then took my hand. His hands were very warn, but I might have been mistaken because mines were cold as ice and I was still soaked with rain. - And do you know why he ran into the forest? Or you can’t tell it either? - Not, not yet. - It’s so hard to believe. - I took my head into my hands. - You’ll learn everything soon, really. - You know, when I was looking for Nathan in the forest I met a guy and I asked for help, but he only told me to get away if I value my life…

- Was it him? The one who killed Nathan. - No! A completely different thing happened to Nathan, but he was not the one doing. - You know who I saw? - Yes, his name is Mason, but it’s another thing I can’t tell as of now. But there’s something we need to discuss. - What? - I asked I despair. - It would be the best not to tell the police everything you know. - You want me to lie? About what? - About seeing someone in the forest. Tell them that no one was there except you. - I released a big sigh and asked again. - Why do I have to deny it? - Because you can’t trust the police, it’s just not safe. - Not safe? What do you mean by it? Should I fear something? - No! Nothing to fear anymore, but pay attention to what you say. - You can trust me… I won’t say a word if it’s for the best. - But you’ll tell me the truth, right? - Yes, but it’s not time yet. - Everything is so strange. I can’t believe that all this is happening with me, it’s like a rotten nightmare. Then we heard someone parking in the car. Christopher leaped up and looked out of the window. Then he looked and me and said: - It’d be best to take you back to the hospital now, perhaps they are searching for you.

- But… - I tried to insist. He grabbed my shoulders and said: - Trust me! - Easy to say that. - I whispered. Then I slowly got up and left the room; I saw through the windows while we descended the stairs that it’s Robert, Christopher’s father. At that point I was getting afraid. I didn’t want to meet him. Fortunately he didn’t come in and when we went out to Christopher’s car, I didn’t see him anywhere. I was relieved a bit. As fast as on the way here, Christopher took me back to the hospital. On the way I started to understand everything. Why things happen this way and that like everything else, it has a reason which I don’t know at the moment. But somehow when I’m beside Christopher I don’t feel lonely, I don’t feel being alone, and neither that I need to go through what’s coming on my own. When I got out of the car he said we’ll meet soon, which made me glad. And he put down his phone number on a piece of paper; if anything happens, I should call him. I took it and then saw mother and the others coming out of the hospital. I turned to them and Christopher was already gone. Mother ran to me and embraced me, I could hear her crying a little… - Where have you been? Why are you so wet? - she worried. - I went for a walk, you know, I hate hospitals and you weren’t here. - I explained. - Yes, we were a bit late, but came as soon as the doctor called. - by the time she was saying this, father and Lizz were next to me. - How are you, Madison? - asked father, and it seemed he was really worried about me this time. - A bit better, the fresh air did good. - Shouldn’t we go back? - asked Lizz.

- Yes. - they answered in agreement, but I didn’t want to spend a minute there. - Where’s Kathie? - I asked mom. - Oh, it was very nice of her staying here all the time, but she went home a short while ago, I’ll call her you’re back. - And when will we go home? - Soon, the doctor says it’s pointless keeping you in, but he’ll take another look. father said. We went in and all sat down in the waiting room, and we waited for the doctor. Lizz sat next to me and looked at me sadly. And I tried to hold myself. - I’m glad that nothing worse happened to you, Mad. At least you’re lucky, unlike that guy. - this sentence of hers made me furious. - How could I be lucky? - I asked with a grimace. - Lucky to live? I don’t know. Nathan was simply, he was my best friend… - and my rage turned into sorrow, and Lizz was speechless. - Just what did happen to you two, Mad? - father asked. - Nothing, we just went to the field… Then Nathan ran away, and I after him and I lost him… And I don’t know what happened to him… - I can’t imagine what his parents are going through now. - mother said sadly. - I liked Nathan so much. Oh, my dear! - and she embraced me, and it felt really good now, she doesn’t do such things very often. - So do Nathan’s parents know? - I looked at her. - Yes, they do. I haven’t talked with them, just heard that they knew what happened and also that you are fine. - I want to speak with them no matter what. - I felt myself responsible for an extent, or rather I felt that everything was because of me, I had to talk with them about this, they’ve always been so good to me. It must be horrible for them, as it is for me.

- Nathan was like a brother to me. - and I was about to cry but I stifled it as much as I could. - You can pay them a visit tomorrow, since today you have to go to the police station. - mother said. - I wanted to speak with them today… I have no humor going to the police. - I believe it, but you have to, maybe they know more regarding Nathan. - father said. - I also think that it’d be better to visit them tomorrow, why knows how they would react. - said Lizz. - I don’t know either, but I need to talk with them the sooner the better. - the doctor arrived and asked me to follow. The others had to wait there. We went into a separate room, but not into the one I had been to earlier, it was more of an office. At least the terrible smell of disinfectant was not present. - Where did you disappear to? - he asked surprised. - For a short walk, I don’t like hospitals. - Yeah, it is pretty common, but you’d have better stayed and rested instead, especially because of the recent events. - I don’t mind. - simply I couldn’t look into his eyes, for some reason I felt uneasily doing so, and I preferred avoiding his look. - Are you feeling better? Anything hurts? - No! Everything’s fine. - Don’t you feel faint? - No! I just want to go home at last. - Alright, but in the following days, try to rest. I prescribe a strong painkiller for you, just in case.

- Thank you. - then I glanced at my hand and noticed that the bandage was drenched, and blood was dropping from it, so I covered it before he could see it, but it was too late. - Let me see! - and he came closer. - it must be bound anew; go to the third floor and wait for me at the first door on the left. - Ok, I’m going. - I agreed, but didn’t understand why I had to go up to the third floor only for this. Mother and the rest just looked where I was going, but I told them it’s a few minutes and I’ll be back. While I was mounting the stairs, for the elevator was out of order, I was thinking about how depressing the atmosphere was in the hospital, and that I could never work there. Only the first floor is renovated, the rest are under progress, that’s why the elevator is not working. I entered the room and this too was worn down, but I couldn’t wait to go home, or at least away from this place. I’ve been waiting for a few minutes, then Dr Hard arrived. - I put fresh bandage on it and you are ready to go. - he said. I felt relieved. And here’s the prescription, but don’t take more than two a day. - Thank you. - I said and while he was working on my hand, he asked a couple of things: - Do you recall anything from that day? - Not much. - I itted. - You sure you haven’t seen anyone else there? - I don’t know what you mean. - I looked at him surprised. - Never mind, it’s not that important. - I don’t know where he was getting to, but I ed that according to Christopher, the police are not reliable and maybe I can trust no one. I won’t tell him anything. And I don’t understand why he’s so interested in the issue. - Then I guess you don’t know how you got this.

- I got what? He pointed at my arm, on the inside there was an, I don’t know, an inscription, a sign… - What is this? - I exclaimed. - Calm down. - he said. It was a semi-circle, like a tattoo, but not exactly, it was more like inscribed into my skin. The doctor was looking at me with a very odd face. I knew it was not without a reason that he’d sent me up to the third floor where there’s noone else. This situation was starting to make me scared. Thus I stood up and wanted to get out, but he stepped in my way. - I want to go now. - I tried to evade him,. - Wait! You left the prescription here. - That was a weight off my mind he wanted only that. Yes, indeed, thank you. - and as I reached my hand, he grabbed it tight and said: - It will be the best for you, Madison, and for everyone else that you don’t show this sign to anyone. - he might be right, but what was that supposed to mean? I freed my hand and ran out, down on the stairs back to the others. - We can go. - I told them. - Everything fine? - asked Lizz. - Yeah, just go. - Shannon’s already got the car out of the parking lot, come. - father said. - Finally! - I took a big breath in the fresh air, finally I was out. I borrowed Lizz’s cardigan pleading cold, but I only wanted to cover that sign. Before going home we dropped father and Lizz on the way. - Madison, would you like coming here tomorrow, or we can go to you,

whichever you prefer. - said Lizz while they were getting out of the car. - Let’s discuss it on phone, I’ll call you a bit later. And thanks for coming all the way because of me. - Oh come on. We were worrying ourselves to death. If anytime you need something, don’t hesitate to call. - said father. This one I believed him, he seemed to be sincere. When we got home, I rushed up to my bedroom for my phone. I’ve never seen so many unreceived calls in one place. I looked for the note in my pockets with Christopher’s number on it. I called him, but he didn’t pick it up, so I sent him a message that we must talk. I wanted to tell him that something was on my arm and how strange the doctor behaved. Then I looked around my room, but everything appeared so alien now, full of memories which I shared with Nathan. I missed him terribly and would have give everything to embrace him. I set myself right as I could, took a shower and tried to stuff a few bites down my throat, but with little success. - Try it! - said mother. - I don’t feel like it… Not at all. - It’s not even my doing, Lizz sent it for us. - Doesn’t matter. - Well, fine, but try again later. I went out to the backyard, sat on the swing-bed and stared at my phone, Christopher would write back perchance. But no. I heard the bell ring. - Who could it be? I heard mother leading somebody in and gradually I could hear it clearer that it was the police, which made no sense to me, because I was supposed to go into the station.

He came to me to the backyard. And mother stayed in the house. I didn’t stand up, but sat still in the swing-bed. - Hello! - he said kindly. - My name is Matthew Dunn, I don’t think we have met before. - and he offered his hand. - Madison Moore! - but I couldn’t shake hands with him, for mine was tied up. - Never mind. - he said. - I would like to ask you a few questions then I’ll let you rest. I know it must be very hard for you. But I have to find out what happened exactly. - What happened to Nathan? How did he die? - I asked him upset. - Wild animals attacked him, most probably a bear. - when he uttered the words, I felt sick, Christopher was right. - A bear? A bear? - I was looking at him doubtful. - Yes. But could you describe me that day? How was it? - The two of us went to the field, it was our favorite place and we relaxed. - Didn’t you see anyone else there? - he interrupted, but why is everyone asking me this? - No, nobody. Then it became dark because of all the black clouds and the storm came. We were about to go home with Nathan when for some reason he suddenly ran into the woods and I followed him. - Didn’t he tell why he was going in? - No! I asked him, but from that point on, he hasn’t said a single word. Started to run instead and so did I. - And what happened after that? - A fell into a smaller pit and injured my hand, but after that I was still looking for him, but I got lost and the next thing I is waking up in the hospital.

- Are you sure you two were alone? - he was looking at me with the suspicion that I’m not telling him the entire truth. - Sure! Or not, because the beasts had to be there, too… right? - Alright, for now it’s enough, but if you anything, call me. - and he handed his card to me. He added that he gave me back the belongings left in the car, mainly my bag. Then he went back to the house and mother saw him out. Christopher was absolutely right! He was! But I still don’t know everything and I want answers. I knew that mother smoked every now and then, so I went in to find her cig, I didn’t care what she’d say, but I had to get one. After it I felt much calmer. I went up to my room and decided to visit Nathan’s parents the next day. I lied in my bed and tried to fall asleep, but I couldn’t, I was tossing around all night long. I wrote Kathie a message to thank her for all and that I’ll give her a call soon. Christopher wrote back, saying that he’ll check on me as soon as he can and I should try to rest. And I really tried, but I simply couldn’t. Even if I fell asleep, I would have horrible nightmares. And when I woke up I suddenly felt that these terrors had happened to me only in my nightmares and that Nathan is alive, and there’s nothing wrong and all of this have never happened.

Chapter 5

Next day while I was putting on my clothes, I put some plasters on my arm to hide that thing on me whatever it was. If anyone asks, I’ll say it was scratched in the forest… Maybe they’ll believe it… Later I talked a bit with mother. Since I couldn’t rest at all, it was hard to concentrate. Mother said she’ll take some days off because of me, to be with me, to stand beside me. I can truly see it now how much she has changed, and how big a change an accident or some event cause. But I objected to her plan: - Mom, you don’t have to take an days off because of me. - I said. - Of course I have to. My place is here now. - But I’ll do fine like this. Believe me. - I tried to convince her, simply because I didn’t want her to treat me as a damaged person, because that would make me feel the same, which is worse than anything else. - I want to be with you, Mad, because I don’t want you to be alone. - Alone? Alone… I’m not alone. - However, seeing mother in this state, arguing any further was pointless, so I gave in and it is not a bad thing at all to begin with. I’m trying to see things more positively. I spent the whole morning with mom and it really helped me, at least I wasn’t going around other things in my mind. In turn I felt really bad by afternoon and I thought it was better to visit Nathan’s parents later in the afternoon. Mother wanted to accompany me no matter what, but I told her I’d prefer going there alone. On the way driving, I was thinking about the best things I could tell them… To his parents, to his brothers… When I arrived I felt horrible, I took two painkillers in the car already, because my head was splitting with pain, then I took a deep breath and got out of the car, and slowly walked to the gates. The sky was getting clouded and it was dark again, but no light were on in the house. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I repeated it more than once, then

pushed that frightful bell. I don’t push it usually because it’s awfully loud and they don’t like it either, but I had no other choice left. But neither this was answered. I called Anthony, the closest to Nathan, his oldest brother. But his phone was turned off and I didn’t know the number of any other of his brothers or relatives. I had no idea where they could be. It might be that they are away just now, or it might be that they’re gone… But this didn’t make me happier, not one bit, but I felt worse and the pressure in my chest was getting stronger. I went into the backyard through the postern door, and as I watched the flowers and the whole garden, memories surfaced in me and I ed how good it was, being here. My tears started dropping. I couldn’t believe I won’t see him again. I went closer to the house and looked in through the windows. I saw that the furniture was covered with a white sheet or I don’t know what, just like when people move away… I didn’t understand. I called Anthony again, but it was in vain. - Are they really gone? But where to? I must meet them and talk to them! Nathan’s father is the leader of the training camp; he can’t just leave the place like this. So I called the center, I guessed they surely know something, but the only thing they said was that he had taken a holiday. I’m sure someone knows the answers. All these made me restless; I went back to my car and drove to the hospital. I thought that those who treated his grandpa must know where the whole family have gone to. I hate this place, but now I shrugged it off, ran in and searched for the sector his grandfather was usually treated. I entered a room, I recalled that this is it, and when I saw that elderly woman I knew I’ve got it right. She’s a very sick, but very kind old lady. Nathan’s grandpa was always put into the same room, because they really got on very well. I asked her if she knew where they left. If knew anything, but she didn’t. I thanked her all the same and left the room, but when I almost closed the door she called after me: - There’s always worse and no matter what you find yourself in, it still can be

worse. - then she turned her head away and looked towards the window, and I left. I asked the nurses on the corridor, maybe they knew something, but no one had any guesses where the family was. They offered me their condolences. Descending the stairs I was thinking about how this old woman was right. Though to be honest I was fed up with the fact that no one knew anything about their whereabouts… I drove home. Mother was not at home, she left a note which reads “I went shopping.” I rushed to my room. My head was splitting again, so I took two more pills, although it made four on total this day. I didn’t mind, if I have a pain in my head, what can I do? I was constantly looking at my phone expecting Christopher’s call, but to no avail. However, I decided to reply all who inquired about me, because so far I hadn’t had the time. And it took hours. After I was done telling everyone I was fine and alive, it came to me that once, months ago, I had sent Anthony some pictures, because he’d asked me to and that time he gave me his e-mail address. It mattered a lot, because Nathan and his brothers have never ed on social sites, and thus you could keep in touch with them only via phone calls, or emails. I successfully found his address and wrote a rather long letter… I wrote about everything, what happened in the forest, how terribly I’m sorry and how much I’d love him to write back or in the best case, to meet him in person. I went for a walk, and I thought that fresh air would surely make some good. Mother has not returned yet, I bet she’s buying the whole shop. On the way I decided to walk to father’s house, after all they told me to visit them. They didn’t mean it in the evening, most probably. But for some reason I wanted to walk on the road now. Fog descended. I felt rather strange from these painkillers, they totally kicked in. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken so many of them. Anyway, it doesn’t matter now. Suddenly I turn to the side because I heard something strange coming from the woods. I heard something was there. I was trying to make it out, I went a bit

closer, but I saw no one, mainly due to the fog. I was a bit scared, nah, really frightened so I got away from the place quickly. - It must be some animal, a deer, or I don’t know. - I tried to calm myself. I hurried away on the road. I was struggling no to think of my fears or Nathan. In fact, I tried to think of nothing. In the last couple of days I’ve been constantly smoking, to put it simply it becalms me, and I feel that I have to. My cig dropped from my fingers, I bowed down to pick it up, but when I looked up. - Damn! - I shrieked. - You startled me all right. How do you get there? - it was Christopher. He bobbed up there as an apparition. - I didn’t want to scare you. - he said kindly. - I could get away only now to talk with you. - No problem! I freaked out only a tad bit. - I became a bit embarrassed as well. - You couldn’t sleep? - No, so I went for a walk, how did you find me? - I was ing by, that’s all. - but I didn’t take it. - How are you? Does your hand still hurt? - he asked and he turned back on the road. - Well, rather crap, but my hand doesn’t ache, only my head does, but I got strong painkillers. - I answered in a low voice. - All afternoon I was trying to find out where Nathan’s parents are… - What do you mean by this? - I mean that I wanted to meet them and discuss everything, you know, I felt that I must give them an explanation and no matter what everyone says, I feel guilty. So I went to their place, but it seemed they’ve gone or moved away. - Madison, it is not you who’s at fault. You understand? Don’t torture yourself with this. - I sighed, but couldn’t agree with him.

- Don’t you know by chance where they are? - No, that’s news to me. I’ll ask someone who will probably know. - Cheers, it’s nice of you. I only know Anthony’s number, but he’s unavailable and this whole issue is getting on my nerves. But there’s something else we have to discuss. - Have you met the police? - Yes, but that’s not what I meant. It was nothing special. You were right, they assessed that Nathan’s death had been caused by an attack of wild animals. Relax, I told them nothing, only what we’d discussed. But you know what was really odd? Excluding the whole business of course the fact that he specifically asked me about what I was trying to hide. So as if they knew I was not alone. - You see, this illustrates how everyone’s lying to get the better end of things. - I could see that he too was distressed now. - Yes, as if it was necessary. - I said with a mocking smile. - and when will I finally understand? - I started to get angry again. - Sooner than you imagine, but you need to calm down. What else happened? - There’s something you have to see! - I took off the plasters from my arm and showed him the sign. - Look! You know what is this? - I asked with curiosity. At that moment he suddenly stopped and I could tell it was not the first time he saw a mark like this, then he looked into my eyes and said: - Don’t show this to anyone! Ever! - he warned me. - The doctor told me the same. - What doctor? Did anyone see this? - He looked troubled and that it means something really bad. - No, no one else beside you and Dr Hard. That’s all. But what is it? - Show it to no one else, and don’t even mention it or it can get you into trouble. I can’t tell you its meaning, which you have to understand again.

- Ok! I promise not to show it to anyone, that’s the reason behind the plasters, but I’m totally fed up with not knowing anything. - You need to trust, and believe me, it is all for the best. - You know, I can’t really believe in anything after the recent events. It is damned difficult to believe in anything or anyone. - I believe that it is much harder to do so now, but I find it very important. This helps you through difficulties. Trust. - And is everything ok with you? - I asked, sincerely interested. - I’ve had a lot to do, I had to arrange things. We are getting on quite well with dad, I didn’t think he’s so cool. I was surprised. - I’m glad to hear that. And your mother, isn’t she worried about you? - She died a few months ago. - This shocked me. - Oh, forgive me, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. My condolences. - You don’t have to apologize. - You said you’ve been living with her so far. - Yes, and I came to dad after her death. - And how does it feel being with him after so long? But if you don’t want to talk about this, I understand. - No worries, ask whatever you want. It’s rather strange, at first we were like complete strangers; it needed some time to adjust to the new circumstances. - Weren’t you angry with him? - I asked unsure - For leaving us? No. Because in all my life I was lead to believe he’s dead. Only when mother died did I learn that father is safe and sound, but it was a huge blow from life. I couldn’t put things together. - I don’t understand that. So he left you young? But you thought he was dead?

- Yes, I really thought so and he did the same regarding me and my mum. It all turned out when mother died and she left a letter behind, written years ago and could be opened only when she was no more. - But why did she keep it secreted? Why did she do this? - To this question and a hundred more I’ve never received an answer. I had to accept that she had taken everything with herself. Father didn’t know it either, no one did. - I’m really sorry; it must have been very difficult for you. - It was terrible in the beginning, to comprehend the whole situation, then to come here to father who I believed dead. Honestly, this was the worst. To accept that you can’t get an answer to everything, or perhaps after a very long time. But as they say, time solves everything. You too, believe me, when you’ll learn everything which is not allowed now, later when you will this conversation, everything will be clear and you will understand why I couldn’t tell you now. I fully understood what he was saying. And I grew to like him more and more. Meanwhile we arrived at our gates. But I didn’t want to go in, would have preferred staying with him, but he had to go. - We will see each other soon! Take care! - and he kissed my cheek. And he disappeared in the mist.

___________________________

12:30. I WAS HAPPY TO see this, finally I’ve slept through a night. At last I could sleep without nightmares. I heard mother rattling and clattering in the kitchen and I went down to her. - Mum, what are you doing? - I asked with curiosity.

- Lunch, Madison, I’m preparing lunch. - she answered a bit angry. - I’m not that hungry. - No problem, you will. It’ll be delicious. - the whole kitchen was turned upside down, I knew that mother was doing her best cooking for me, but we both know it’s not her forte. And I really wasn’t hungry. - Mum, I want to ask you something. - I began. - Say it. - and she took the slightly burnt fish out of the oven. - Yesterday I went to the house of Nathan’s parents… - Go ahead! How are they? I should do the same, too. - I don’t know. - What do you mean you don’t know? - That they were not at home and I’m pretty sure they’re gone. - It makes sense. - It doesn’t. It doesn’t! I must speak with them. - My darling, it must have been an enormous shock for them and I don’t know what I’d do in their place. - But why didn’t they tell? - I don’t know, maybe because in this city everything reminded them of Nathan and they didn’t want to live with this, but it’s possible that it is not a permanent move… You cannot know. - So you don’t suspect where they are? - No. No… Did you try calling them? - Yeah, but Anthony didn’t pick it up. Anyway, I’ll find out what to do. I’ll go upstairs, prepare myself quickly and I go to the city centre. You need something?

- I don’t think so. But taste the lunch today! - Ok, I will. - Did you go to your father’s yesterday? - Damn it… - Well, yesterday I departed from home, but forgot to tell them I won’t. - No, but today I will if I have the time. - Alright, I have to go in to the office in spite of what I expected, but after that I’m coming home straight. I hate this workplace so much; I’m on a holiday and they still call me in… - Mum! You don’t have to stay home because of me, feel free to go back to work, especially if you’re needed now. - No. It does me good taking a few days off, far from all the paperwork, because that’s only what’s waiting for me at the moment. - By the way, did you find something for that rich person? - Oh… No, he hasn’t made up his mind yet, but it would be really good. - It’ll settle one way or another. - I started mounting the stairs. - Madison. - she called after me. - What is it? - If you want to talk with me anytime, don’t hesitate. - That’s what we are doing right now, mom. - But about Nathan… Or what happened there. - But I didn’t really feel like discussing the matter, or it would make me feel worse, thinking about it. - Alright, I have to hurry now. I got ready and called Kathie to meet in the city. I was waiting for her in front of the post office and slipped from my mind that Kathie is a bit late from everywhere. No problem, I’ll be patient.

Everyone ing me resembled Nathan somehow, there was a guy who looked damn exactly like him, even his shoes were the same as Nathan’s. At this point I tried to turn my gaze, this oddity was worrying me a bit. Kathie arrived! Hurrah, only ten minutes late, which is nothing compared to her usual. Once I had to wait one hour for her in the rain. I was glad to see her and so was she. Her first thing was to hug me and we sat into our favorite place after, which was not far from the place we met. It’s a bar, or something like that, during daytime it’s a calm place with a pleasant feeling, and at night it’s always full, there’s always some party. We took our seats on the platform, which is actually on the street. I utterly forgot about myself and lit a cigarette. - Hey, Madison, since when do you smoke? - she looked at me angry. - Excuse me, only recently, I didn’t even watch what I’m doing. - I put it out quickly, because I didn’t want to make a habit of it and I knew that Kathie minds the smoke. - Your phone call cheered me up, and it’s nice to see you. You shouldn’t be alone these days. - Yes, I don’t want to do so, because then I always start thinking about the past and I want to look forward instead. - That’s the right thing to do! You can always count on me. - It’s kind of you. Yesterday I dropped by Nathan’s parents… To be precise, I only wanted to, because most likely they had gone away somewhere. Don’t you know anything about this? - No, I didn’t know anything about this. Strange. But I’ll ask my parents, they surely know, and they even talked on the phone when you two disappeared. - I have no idea where they could be, and this whole issue is getting on my nerves. - I was leaning my head on my arm meanwhile. - And everything’s ok with you? - I asked.

- Yes, I’ve been invited to loads of parties, but I didn’t feel like going… You know, we still haven’t made it up with Taylor, although he’s still trying to get in with me. - When we were talking with Nathan about this, he said you should give Taylor one more chance, because he feels like shit and very sorry about the whole thing. - my eyes ran watery. - Oh Mad! - after a short pause, she went on: - You’re right, maybe he’s pedaled enough; I’ll talk to him, since I miss him too and I love him. After all this. - Speak of the devil. - he just left one of the stores and was heading towards our direction. Kathie turned back, then back at me, suddenly she felt the urge to go, but there was nowhere to. She was embarrassed. - Hello! - he greeted us kindly, but Kathie didn’t reply, only I did. - I heard the news. My condolences. I’m glad you’re not hurt. - Thanks. - I let out a big sigh. - These beasts, you know. It’s incredible, to tear a man apart like this… - How can you be such a hick? - said Kathie. - how can you be so insensitive? - How do you know that? - I asked. - I know because it was father’s group who found Nathan. After they found you, the hunters took you to the hospital, but by the time numerous people were searching for you. It was gross, according to father… Blood everywhere… - Shut up Taylor! - Kathie became jumpy, but I was interested in what happened to Nathan, maybe Taylor knows something. But as always, I imagined the scene. I felt sick, I retched. I stood up and ran into the lavatory; I could hear the two outside start arguing. Then she came to me inside the toilet. - Taylor is a real asshole. Don’t pay him any attention… To give him another chance? Hell no.

I washed my face. Water made me feel a bit better. - Let’s go back. - I said. - You sure? Do you feel better? - Yeah. It’s better. And it’ll be even better outside in the fresh air. When we reached the door I noticed the guy from the forest on the other side of the street. It was him! I was sure. Mason or something… I opened the door with haste and shouted at him. When he noticed me, he looked at me and got into his car with speed. - Hey! Wait! - I ran across the street to him. But by then he had tread on it and was gone in an instant. And I stood on the rood paralyzed, looking after him. Kathie was shouting my name while running to me. - What’s with you? What are you doing, Mad? Who was he? - she asked smiling. I knew the smile, but she completely misunderstood the situation. - I thought I knew him. I mistook him for someone else. - I explained. - He was very nice. Too bad he drove away so quickly… - Uhum. Let’s go back. - Alright. - Where’s Taylor? Gone? - I asked. - Yeah. I sent him to hell. We were talking for about one or two more hours. She told me all the gossip she knew, for information always found the way to her, but I was not excited by any of it. But it really felt good to see her. It was good to turn my mind off for the time being and not brood over the same things. Especially over Nathan… All the same, Christopher came to my mind as well and I felt that I was missing him, and I couldn’t wait to see him again. Later, after we part with Kathie, I went to visit father and Lizz. They’ve been

expecting me. On the basis of a very complicated recipe, Lizz made some cookies that I had to try. It was delicious indeed, the only thing I was missing was appetite. They were very kind, immensely kind. Father didn’t stay for long, because he had something to settle, something important… In theory he has found some job, which is suitable for him and wouldn’t take much time from his life. So the two of us remained, me and Lizz. - By the way, Gilbert forgot to say that his parents have been inquiring about you, they are extremely worried that you didn’t pick up the phone or call them back. - Ah, yes, it completely went out of my mind. But I’ll give them a ring today, in any case. - They also said they’d travel here again and stay for a couple of days, to see you. - I’m very happy to hear that. - I said. - Me too, also to be accepted to the family, or at least, I feel so. You know I thought they will hate me for taking Shannon’s place. - Oh no, they are truly kind people and not so old-fashioned; they can understand changes. Except for grandma, sometimes she is inflexible, but she’ll let you closer as time es. - Yeah, that’s how I see it, too, and the other thing I feared the most was your approach to me. - You thought I would prevent you from being with dad? - I asked tauntingly. - Yeah, something like that, but I was relieved that it was not so. - I had plans like that. - I laughed. - Relax, I’m just kidding. - you could see that she bit on it for a second. It has never popped up in my mind to do anything of the kind. Moreover, I was happy to see them together with father, because by that time I wasn’t as neurotic. And I think mother was glad about it too. Their marriage went wrong long ago, so she wasn’t bothered, especially because dad had many other relationships before Lizz.

- It’s really good that we get along well and I want to spend more time with you, only if you want the same, of course. - Sure, why not? - I replied. - And what kind of job did father find? - I inquired, for I was pretty curious in the matter. - In fact, gardening! - she said gleefully. - Gardening? - I laughed, but I saw it offended her. - Yes! He designs a garden and the other workers will make it so. - I don’t know how much he knows about all this. - I’ll give him a hand. Thus he’s going to have a flexible work time and work won’t weight on him. - That’s for sure! - what a joke, but it’s his business. - And have you learnt anything about that boy? What happened to him? - I don’t know. - and became sad again. - We’ll find out the truth for sure, you want some more cookies? - she asked kindly. - No, thanks. I’m already full. - I refused. - Full? You must be kidding. You have lost a lot of weight lately. - Maybe, maybe a bit… I have no appetite at all. - And I wanted a cig very bad, mainly after Lizz lit one, rarely she smokes when father is not around, because he hates it if somebody is smoking, but it’s kind of understandable. - You want one? - she asked. - Well, I know I shouldn’t but I’d be thankful for one. - Here! Though I shouldn’t be the one making you addicted. - and she offered

me one. - I know it’s a bad habit. - Nah, sometimes not. It’s relaxing. - she said. - Yeah, it’s a miracle that when we were living together with dad, mother and I didn’t pick it up. It could have gone that way, easily. But she made no answer to this, only a subtle smile. - Is your hand still hurting? It’s healing well, I see. - Yeah… It doesn’t hurt at all. - But… What did happen to your arm? Why is it plastered? - she kept asking and I cursed myself for not putting on the cardigan. - Uhmmm, I bruised it, and it went purple, just didn’t want mother worry. - You injured it in the forest? - No, later. - I had to say this, for it would have been suspicious to tell the truth: that something had happened to me in the forest which I don’t understand. I didn’t want to stay for long, giving false answers to questions like this would do it. I considered it better to get home and rest, so I said that mother was waiting for me at home and I had to go. - We’re happy you came! It’s good to know you feel a bit better now and as we’ve said, come when you wish. - she said with a cute smile. - Cheers for everything, see you later. Bye! Give dad my regards. - I’ll tell him. Bye! I went home, mother wasn’t there yet, she must have received some additional tasks. I put a plate of cookies on the table; Lizz made them and told me to give some to mother as well. Though I’m not sure that mother would try, because she knows how terribly she cooks and how perfectly Lizz does so. She was jealous of her because of this, but for no other reason.

I think we’ve got closer with mom. As if our relationship has improved, which is good. She behaves differently, she’s attentive, interested in what I say or think. And this is quite a surprise, because before she didn’t seem to be bothered about my well-being. And I’m definitely glad to see that father has changed. I can’t believe how much happened in the last few weeks. I called grandma, and talked with grandpa too, but he was talked down by her, as was I. A phone call is quite funny with them on the other end, I could count it on one of my hands how many times I said a sentence. Grandma is just going on and on, but grandpa is the same. I love them, a lot. I assured them I’m fine and still getting better. They don’t know exactly when, but they will come again soon for a few days. Later I had a hot bath, but heard some strange noise from the outside, so I got dressed quickly and left the bathroom. - Mom! Hullo! Is that you? - but no one replied, she wasn’t at home. I must have imagined things. I checked my e-mails, maybe I got something from Anthony, but nothing, unfortunately. Nothing. Christopher hasn’t ed me since then, but I don’t want to call him either, I don’t want to make him think I impose myself upon him, but very simply, it’s he who understands me, he’s the only one. Now I feel as if he’d be here, not so far from me.

Chapter 6

Next day it was terribly hot. I can’t the last time it was so hot, not in the last years. I was thinking about going to the cemetery today. Haven’t been there for long. Fortunately I don’t have anyone there to go to. My grandparents are buried in another city, and I have never been to a funeral, a thing which I can be happy about. But every now and then I go and walk among the graves, but I don’t exactly know why. There’s always a grave which seizes me. Either because the text inscribed into it makes me think or it can be because of the shape of the gravestone. I didn’t tell mother and I almost never do so when I go to the cemetery, lest she would think me dumb. And I think no one would understand if I told them I tend to walk around the graves. As hot as it was, storm-clouds were gathering. It’ll be a huge tempest for sure. But now I didn’t mind, it was good to feel the wind blow. When I was watching the gravestones, I faltered before one. As if seeing a ghost. I couldn’t move after I noticing it. First, I didn’t believe my eyes, but it was true. - He was buried! – I said it loud. – Impossible. Impossible. Impossible. – I kept saying and moved closer and closer to the grave. Amid the loads of flowers I could hardly make it out, but putting one aside I saw it clearly: Nathan Shaw… Under his name was a quote from the Bible: Psalm 23. 1, 4 “The Lord is my shepherd. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” - I simply can’t believe it! It unimaginable! I kneeled in front of the grave, over the flowers and I was sobbing. – But when? Why didn’t they tell me? Why? And where have they gone? I had no answer to these questions and I felt being torn apart by curiosity and ignorance. But why they’ve chosen a quote from the Bible, that I knew: Nathan’s whole family was deeply religious. But not like my parents. They took it really

seriously. They believed in God. Me too, but now I felt somehow that he doesn’t exist. Or wouldn’t be beside me. I gathered myself, stood up and rushed to my car. I knew something was not alright. I was incredibly angry. Mad with everyone. With literally everyone. I went home as fast as I could, rain poured on me on the way already, lightning and the sound of thunder crossing the sky. I dashed into the house, mother was in the kitchen. She was cooking something, but it caught on fire and there was smoke everywhere. - Mum! – I yelled at her. - Fine! Fine, I know! The smoke will be gone in a second… - I threw the car’s keys onto the table. - He was buried! You hear me? He was buried! – She was standing with her back to me, and said nothing. – Mum! – I cried at her. I was angry like hell. When she turned around I knew… You could tell she knew everything. Which only made me more vexed. - You’ve known it all along! Correct? – I asked with anger. - Don’t agitate yourself. – she said. - How an earth could I not agitate myself? He was my best friend… - my voice chuckled and I started to cry. - Madison! Forgive me, but they wanted to have it this way. - Me not going? Why? - Because they didn’t want to upset you any further. - So you also know where they went? - No. I don’t. - You know mum, I’m terribly disappointed now. – I turned away, rushed up to my room and clashed the door behind myself.

I was awake for hours, sitting on my bed staring out of my head with no motion. I calmed down. I tried to understand the whole issue. The whats and whys. Nathan’s parents might have been lead by good intention, after all. I was striving to comprehend all. Later I heard mother coming up the stairs, knocking on my door and opening it. I said nothing to her for a while and she was just sitting on the bed next to me. - Have no grudge against anyone, Madison. You need to be mature to handle all of this, you need to grow up. I mean it! – It took me as a surprise, for mother to say something like this, but she was right. She was absolutely right. - But I miss him a lot. – I mumbled. - I know! And it is an enormous trauma for you, but you must go on. You must not be stuck in mourning. - So you went to the funeral, too? – I asked. - No. But they called me one day in advance, and they asked me not to tell you or anyone else. They also said that they could not meet you, for they wouldn’t be able to look you in the eye, not because they are blaming you, but you were the last person who saw him and they don’t know how they’d handle it. Only the closest family were present at the funeral and they didn’t want any “outsider” to be around. - I can understand that. – I said. – I can fully understand them. – I repeated. - I’m glad to hear that. – and she stroked my face. – And there’s something else here which I wanted to ask you a while back. - What? – but I suspected. - Recently… Ok, I’ll speak to the point. My dear, you have a boyfriend? – she asked with a stupid smile. - Oh, mom! I don’t know. I truly don’t know. - Now, but what’s his name?

- Christopher… But I haven’t told anybody yet. We get along nicely and I like being with him. - I’m unspeakably happy for this. Finally! - Thanks mom… - I was a bit laughing. - It’s good to see you smile. But I didn’t mean that, but it’s high time for love to get around the corner. - Love? – That’s a strange one. - And who is he? What is he doing? - He moved here not long ago, he’s living with his father and helps him in his company. I don’t know exactly what kind of a company it is. - You could invite him to us some time. - Really? – I was surprised. - Of course. It’d be nice to speak with him. - Ok, I’ll talk it over with him. – I smiled. - Alright, I got to go now and order some food, because mine was burnt. – she went out of the door, but suddenly turned back. - I forgot something. – and took a letter out of her pocket. - What’s this? – I asked. - Someone left it in the mailbox. Your name is on it. – she put it on the bed next to me. And she left the room after adding that she’s going to order Chinese food, which I like, so I have to eat of it. After she descended the stairs, I took the letter in my hands. The only thing written on it was Madison. I didn’t open it for a couple of minutes, could only look at it and turn it over and over again. Then I opened it. It read: “I know who you are! I know what you are!” That’s all, nothing else was in the letter. I was looking obtuse and ran down to mother.

- You sure you don’t know who sent me this? – I asked troubled. - No, my dear, I don’t. – she answered. - And when did they drop it in? - I noticed it in the morning. Why? What’s in it? - It’s not important. – and I ran back up to my room on the stairs. I closed the door and slowly sat down on the floor. I felt the first signs of a headache, so I took the rest of the painkillers. I was sitting there for rather long and couldn’t stop thinking about all the things I didn’t understand, it was too much. After all, who sent me this? What is it supposed to mean? Then in a second, as if lightning struck, I jumped up and called Christopher, if someone knows what’s going on, it’s him. - Hi! I’m Madison. - Hi! Everything alright? Your voice sounds disturbed. - No, nothing’s alright. Could we by chance meet some time? It’s urgent. There’s something we need to discuss. - Fine, we can meet tomorrow the earliest. - How about today? - No, unfortunately that’s not good. Is there a big problem? - Bearable, see you tomorrow then! - I’ll pick you up in the afternoon. - It’s alright, bye. - Bye. I might have taken too many painkillers again. I felt so strange again. But it doesn’t matter now, there was no more. I was constantly hearing this voice, my

own voice reading out the letter in my mind. “I know who you are! I know what you are!” As if I was some monster… The idea of meeting Christopher tomorrow made me calm. I hoped he’d give me answers. Maybe if he didn’t say anything this time, because it’s not allowed, I would at least see him and hear his voice. I turned my computer on and checked the e-mails again. But no, I didn’t receive an answer from Anthony. I called Kathie if she knew about the funeral. She said no, asked her parents but they didn’t know about anything, including the family’s whereabouts. It’s nothing again. I’m going to wait and wait. Maybe I get answers. But simply for waiting? Why would I get answers? You need to search for them! Right? I might be lucky in some respect if these pills make me more absent-minded, and less thoughtful about these things. Or am I more focused on them? I had enough, I couldn’t breathe. I opened my window, which was looking at the backyard. I looked up at the sky, watched the stars, watched the Moon. It is so strange that no matter where you live in the world, no matter who you are, where exactly you are, whether a good or a bad person… It doesn’t matter, but when you look up at the sky, you’ll see the same form everywhere. Everyone looked up, looks up and will look up at the same Moon and Sun. If these luminaries could speak… They are the ones who saw all, see all and will see all. They know all, but all . The truth. The plain truth. You can’t lie to them.

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NEXT MORNING LIZZ GAVE ME a ring and said they have something urgent to tell me, and asked me to drop by as soon as I can. I asked mum if she had any idea, but no, she was not invited. So I went to their place, since I got a tons of time before meeting Christopher in the afternoon. I’m looking forward to it very much. So much! - Hullo! Hi! - I opened the door. It was not closed which made me recall that if

still have a key to the house, because I didn’t leave it here for dad when we moved, and I think he’s forgotten it a long time ago. Tasty scents came from the kitchen, father was into some comedy on the TV, and Lizz busied herself in the kitchen. - Hello my dear! - dad greeted me kindly. - Hi! Here I am… - Take a seat at the table, I’ll be right there. - Hi Lizz! - and I sat down. - Hi! I made chicken with mushrooms! I hope you like it. - Of course, I love it. - I hated mushrooms beyond anything else; I’ve always found it so strange, for it is neither animal, nor plant, as if I were eating a thing. Weird! Father turned off the television, then sat down to the table. Meanwhile, Lizz put the meal on the table. Everything was perfect, for Lizz has always been striving for perfection. The table was beautifully set with flowers in the center. Although I hate cut flowers, I think they are nice alive only, and not cut. The food was perfect too. Everything was. These occasions make me think of a dinner or lunch with mum. Who on earth is interested in anything else on the table? Letters? A bag? Raffle? The main thing is the person facing you, and of course, what you are eating. The rest is superfluous garnish, waste. Just who do we want to delude? Who do we want to live up to? Who are the frills for? Mother always says these. Everyone has to decide what’s good for them. Lizz put a rather large portion of the food on my plate, but I made no faces and acted as if it were my favorite. - You like it too, Mad? - father asked. - Of course! It’s delicious! - Of course he could never the things I liked and those I didn’t.

- Eat up! There’s plenty. - said Lizz. - Thanks, it’s just enough. - I replied. - And what did you want to talk about? - I inquired. - Yeah, so we know you are going through a very difficult period right now. father started. - But we can no longer prolong this issue for it is something we’ve always wanted to tell you. I was excited to find it out. There was a piece of mushroom in my mouth, boy I hate mushrooms so much. They were holding hands and looked at me saying it almost in a chorus: - We’re getting married! - Then with a big gulp, the mushroom went down. But suddenly I didn’t know what to do, drank a little water and meanwhile they were waiting for my reaction and what I’m going to say. - Congratulations! I’m honestly glad to hear that! - I smiled. - Mad, I was so nervous about what you’ll say or if you won’t like it and find it a bit too early perhaps. I almost told you yesterday, but it’s so much better this way. - said Lizz. - No! I don’t find it too hasty at all! You shouldn’t have waited for so long before telling me, you know, it’s your lives. - I might have phrased it in a different way, I saw discontent on father’s face. - Yes, it’s our life, but you take a part in it, so your opinion is important. - said father confidently. - I’m telling you, I’m really glad to hear that. Congratulations, really! - I was asserting my point. They were both smiling and Lizz stood up to bring champagne, which father opened. - When will you have the wedding? - I asked. - At the end of August, roughly within a month. - Lizz answered with

excitement. - Well, there’s really not much time till that. - Yes, and I have so much to do, a load. - I’m happy to help in anything if you need. - Really? - father asked. - Naturally! - That’d be great, at least we could spend more time together. - Lizz said. - To be honest, yesterday I was a little surprised when mother said you want to talk to me. It’s a huge relief, I thought there’s something wrong. - Yes, there’ll be a little problem around this. - father said. - What? What problem? - I asked. - Well, I don’t know how to tell your mother… I don’t know how she’d react. - How would she? She would be glad to hear the news, since you divorced a long time ago, and I don’t mean the official papers. - That’s true, but don’t tell her yet, I want to do so myself. Lizz added nothing to this. For dessert, she made cherry pies and I was at my wits end in an instant. I love every kind of sweets, except for those including cherry. As if she had done this on purpose, but I’m sure it was not the case. I tried to squeeze some down my throat and it wasn’t even that awful. At least as long as I’m here, I’m not chewing on the same things. But sometimes when I wondered, the much expected afternoon came into my mind. After lunch I stayed for a while, because Lizz said she’d like to give me something, a dress. Although I think our taste is not the same, maybe our size is. Anyway, the idea was nice from her. - There you go! You see? It’s beautiful. - She was holding a white, laced dress in

her hands, I’m sure it must have cost a fortune. Lizz always buys quality clothes, mainly because she can afford. It was truly beautiful. I didn’t think I would like it. - It’s very nice. - I said. - Try it on. - she encouraged me. - Now? Here? - Of course! I’d like to see it on you. I put it on quickly and showed it to Lizz. She was staring at me as on a displayed manikin. - Beautiful! It suits you well. Your size precisely. - she said- Yeah, it really fits, but I don’t often wear elegant dresses like this. Still, thank you for giving me this. You really should not have bothered… - Oh come on! You should wear dresses of this kind more often. - I turned my head and looked into the mirror stiff. This sentence, that I should wear dresses of this kind more often hit me in the heart. Nathan used to tell me the same. But I shrugged myself and changed back to my clothes. - Won’t you show it to Gilbert? - she asked. - No, not now. I have to go. But I’m grateful for everything. For both the lunch and the dress. I had a good time. And congratulations, once again. I said father good bye, and he remarked not to tell mother about their marriage. I really can’t see why he thinks it is important. I’m sure mother would be as glad to hear the news as I was. I hopped into my car and drove home. All through the way the sun was blinding my eyes, I could barely see a thing. And I was revolving around everything like an infinite wheel.

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IN THE AFTERNOON, AT AROUND 3 o’clock, Christopher came for me. I was a bit excited about the meeting. No, I was excited quite a lot. And I couldn’t put off smoking… Unfortunately I bought a new pack of cig again. I was sitting out there at the gates when you could hear from afar him coming by car. The closer he came the more embarrassed I became. He’s always driving fast, as if hurrying somewhere. He got out of the car and walked towards me and by this time I was relaxed, and happy to see him again. He noticed the packet of cigarettes and a few butts on the ground next to it. - You shouldn’t smoke so much. - he said. - I know, I know, but I was very nervous. - I explained. - Come, get in. - he said. - Where are we going? - I asked. - I’ll show you something. There’s a place we have to go. - it sounded very mysterious and I grew curious. - But what kind of a place? - I asked. - You’ll know it soon, let’s go. - And won’t you tell me anything more about it? - meanwhile I fastened my hair and got into the car. - No, not yet. - We set off, and as usual he trod on the gas. - I like this song a lot! But I’m not sure I know them. - he smiled and said: - They’re called Zero. My friends in California made a band a few years ago and they’ve published two albums since then. - I really didn’t know them, but they are very good.

- I can give you one if you fancy, I got a couple as gift from them. - I’d be happy with that. - I smiled. - It’s really nice from you. When will we reach that mysterious place? - we got out from the city and I was not familiar with the region. Not sure if I could find my way back to the city alone. - You that small hill over there? There’s a pine forest in front of it, that’s where we’re going. - and he pointed ahead - And what’s over there? Or who’s over there? - I asked. - One of my friends lives there. - and we take over one or two cars. - Why do we have to go there? Or why in such a hurry? - You’ll know, we’ll be there soon. - he was becalming me. I asked no further questions, he wouldn’t answer anyway as I knew him. However, I was sure to learn a lot more about everything, and the answers to my questions will be closer. For some reason I became nervous once more, I was shaking my leg for which my mother used to take me up, saying it’s a bad habit. As I saw, Christopher agreed in this, he put his hand on my leg and said: - Calm down, Mad! - I can’t! I became nervous… - when will we talk about what’s happening here? We stopped. Pine trees were everywhere, reaching for the skies. This place was amazing. In addition, a charming house stood amid the trees. - Come! I’ll introduce you to someone. - he got out of the car. I did the same, and I felt hundreds of butterflies in my stomach. As we were going closer to the house, I guy came out, I couldn’t clearly see his face, but as he approached, I recognized him. - I can’t believe it- - I was looking at Christopher not understanding. It was Mason, I could perfectly see him. I didn’t understand what was going on.

- He’s Mason, I wanted you to know him better. - but he said nothing, and was looking at me as if I had committed something terrible against him. - It was you in the forest, right? Why did you tell me to run if I want to live? And why did you run away the last time I saw you? - I started on him and grew even more nervous, but deep inside I was terrified by the answers I seek. - I didn’t want to scare you that night. - and he stepped closer. Christopher stepped closer too, grabbed my hand and looked at me. But it didn’t make me calm, on the contrary, I felt more stressed. - You could have helped me, because my friend was lost and he died then. Why didn’t you help? - That’s exactly how I helped you. - he said in a chilled voice. - I sent you away from the place because staying there could have lead to sharing your friend’s fate. - Why? Would have beasts attacked me too? - I mocked. - Yeah, precisely. - he agreed. Out of me, however, everything burst out and I started to yell with him. - You think me an idiot? Really? It’s high time to tell me the truth. - but Christopher squeezed my hand as a signal to stop it. - That’s the truth. - said Mason. - I quickly reconsidered and let them get away with it. I conformed to influence and pretended to be calm and to believe everything what Mason said. - Ok… - I said in a low voice. - And the other time I rushed away for it would have been an inappropriate place to discuss the matter, and I found it better to leave. - while telling these lies he looked behind me, into the woods, and so did Christopher as if someone else were there. I saw no one, but knew that something’s not alright. - We better go into the house. -Christopher suggested. - Mason agreed with him. I took a couple of deep breaths in a row and eased myself. I calmed down. I was

thinking that after we leave this place Christopher would tell me everything, the truth. Not only from the outside, but the house was enchanting from the inside as well. It was made of entirely timber, everything in it, and the house looked huge. Christopher released my hand and we sit down in the living room on a black leather sofa. - How long you’ve been living here, Mason? - I asked. - A few years, one and a half, I guess. - he said. - Strange. - Why? - interrupted Christopher. - Because I’ve never seen you, ok, I’m not saying I’ve met everyone in the city, but it’s still odd. - I rarely go to the city. - he explained. - But somehow I couldn’t believe this either, I was sure that if he had been living here for years, we would have met already. - And how many of you are in this house? - I kept asking, but staying silent might have been for the better. - I live here alone, inherited it from my parents. - Yes, I had additional questions, but didn’t ask. - It’s spectacular! - I smiled at him. Opposing me was a hearth and a painting above it. This painting must have engraved itself into the mind of anyone who set foot in this house. The walls were white everywhere, but this picture was immensely dark, which made it eye-catching at the same time. It was lavished with black and Bordeaux colors, immediately grabbing everyone’s attention. - It is a very interesting painting. - I said. And I was trying to figure out what it features, it resembled a battle scene, or rather a minor part of one. - It represents the subjugation of evil. - Mason said. - Family heirdom, I’ve had it for long.

- It’d be good to defeat evil so easily. - interrupted Christopher. - Why, don’t you think one can put an end to evil so simply? - I asked him. - No. I don’t think so. It always was, is and will be. This process will never come to an end. - The presence of good and evil is an eternal circulation. - Mason said. Christopher nodded in agreement. I found it true, but it’s not always necessarily the case. - You can never know who evil lives in. And who is that is good. - Mason went on. - Yeah, you really can’t tell, maybe if you know people better. It would be nice to know how they look, if they had something different on them which would help us recognize them and distinguish good from evil. It would be easier for everyone. - I said. - And what would you do to them, if you knew who they are? Would you kill them? - asked Christopher. - No! I would, I don’t know, avoid them. Or punish them somehow for what they’ve committed. All the three of us looked up at the picture as if waiting for an answer, the truth. Mason stood up to take some book off the shelf and when he wanted to take it off, his t-shirt slid up for a moment and I could say the same sign on his waist, the same semi-circle I have on my arm. It gave me the creeps and felt sinking deeper and deeper into an endless pit. Then he asked if we fancy a drink or anything else. I didn’t answer, but shook my head, and Christopher was looking at me in a strange way, but he didn’t ask for anything either. Then Mason left the house for a couple of minutes because he has something to settle. - What is it, Mad? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. - he asked with interest. - What do you think, why? - Suddenly I didn’t know if I should tell him what I

had seen or not. I wasn’t sure that was the right moment, because if Mason returns… I’d rather tell him later, that should be the best. - Nevermind, I’ll tell you later and I hope you will give me answers too. - and I started to nervously shake my legs again. - Yes, We’ll discuss everything today, but only after leaving this place. - he assured me. - Come, let’s go out to the garden! - he stood up from the sofa and helped me up. We went to the backyard which just like almost everything else was beautiful, the air itself was totally different there. In spite of everything, I was fine. Although a swarm of questions were circling in my head. - I’ll show you something. - and he held my hand again. - Oh my God! - I was surprised. - So far I couldn’t see it from the tress, but there was an immense lake in the backyard; this estate looked incredibly huge. All along the lake, there were flowers, white roses and I have no idea how they can prosper so close to the waterside, but it was amazing. And the water was crystalclear. We sat down at the shore and enjoyed the sun shining on us. - How do you feel here? - he asked nicely. - Very well, really, this place is incredible. You come here often? - Yes, when I can, I spend a lot of time here, that’s why I wanted you to see Mason too. Don’t misunderstand it, he has nothing to do with Nathan’s death. He is my best friend and he’s very important to me. - Does Mason really live here alone? - I asked. - Yes, since his parents died. But he is never alone, someone always comes over or he visits someone. - And since when do you know each other? - Since childhood. They sued to live in California as well, we were neighbors and best friends. Later they moved here.

- And why did they come here? I mean, I love this city, it is beautiful, but it’s not so big and not full of possibilities. - I think all they longed for was calmness and peace. You can’t get it so easily in Los Angeles. But it’s perfect here. In this city everyone’s smiling, people greet each other on the street and everything and everyone is much friendlier here. - Yeah, that’s right. - I nodded. - Or maybe they wanted to start a new life. I don’t know, Mason doesn’t like talking about these issues and I won’t force it. - And Mason’s parents? What happened to them? - I lowered my voice, he might not want to talk about it. - It’s going to be about a year. A regrettable tragedy. Both of them died in a car accident. - I’m so sorry. - I said. - Mason was considered an adult by the time, so he inherited everything. So he had to look after himself, but he had some help this way. - It’s tragic indeed. - I looked towards the house. - And did the two of you keep in touch since that? I mean they moved and you stayed in Los Angeles. - Yeah, we did. We had some silent periods, we didn’t talk for a while, but everything turned out well and it’s ok now. - he smiled. - That’s fortunate… - I whispered. You know, grandpa said once that “luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” Grandpa always wanted to explain everything. - But this one is a very nice idea. - I think so. - Mason was nowhere near, and I was too anxious on the seat to keep waiting any longer. - Christopher! - I said loudly. - The other day I received a letter.

- What kind of letter? - he was looking at me surprised. - There’s no sender identified, mother brought it in with the rest from the mailbox. It read “I know who you are! I know what you are!” I’ve got no idea what that’s supposed to mean. What do you think? - he had to know the answer, but I couldn’t read anything from his face. - I don’t understand that letter either. - he told me in a rather calm voice. - You sure? Are you sure that this suggests you nothing? - No, Mad, it doesn’t. It might be no more than a bad joke. - So you thing all of it is a big joke? - I was getting nervous again. - There’re too many things you keep secreted from me… - I continued and I became totally overcome by despair. At that moment he embraced me, held me tight and then kissed me. Which was quite a surprise to me. Before I could have said anything Mason appeared, ran towards us and when he was right about to get there, he jumped into the water and water splashed all over us. We were both laughing and went after him to return the favor. The water was rather cold, but it bothered me not and for a few seconds I could forget everything. I could have never imagined that these things will happen to me, and neither did I think that after Nathan’s death I will have fun in life ever again, without any qualms of conscience. We were fooling around in the water a bit longer, but then my phone rang, so I got out of the water to see who’s calling. They carried on playing like children meanwhile. - Damn! - I said it a bit too loud. Mother has called me for fifteen times, she never calls so much except when there’s trouble. I wrote an answer quickly. - Hi! I’ve seen you’d been looking for me. - Yes! Finally you call me back. - she sounded very upset. - Sorry, I didn’t hear it. - There’s big trouble. Mad, it’s serious.

- What’s wrong? - Christopher’s father is here. - What? What do you mean by that? - You heard it well, he is here. And you know who he is? Robert! - Oh, mom, yes I wanted to tell you. I didn’t want to make you worried. - Nevermind, the point is that he is angry like hell and looking for Christopher. - Yes. He’s here at… Uhm not important. - Ok, whatever. Come home immediately. The earlier the better. Then she hanged it up. - Fantastic, it couldn’t be any better. - I grumbled. - Christopher! Christopher! Get out! - I shouted. When he heard it, he swam out and came to me. - What happened? - he asked. - I talked to mom, she called me because your father is at our house and he’s very angry. - When is he not angry? - he jested, but I took the matter seriously. - And what is he doing at your place? - he asked taunting again. - He’s looking for you, I don’t know. Let’s go back! - I insisted. - Ok, alright, we can go in a sec. - and he looked at Mason. It was so good and at the same time bad that he could remain calm and collected in situations like this, whereas I was on the edge of my nerves. Mason got out as well and accompanied us back to the house, or at least he wanted to. - Hey Mad! What is this on your arm? - he asked distressed. And he grabbed my arm, I knew he meant the sign.

- Oh, this is only… - I didn’t know what to say, the plaster got off in the water and it totally went out of my mind. I covered it with my fingers, as it I could make it undone. - As I saw you have one too. - and by saying this it was like starting a snowslide. I immediately regretted that it slipped out of my mouth, I should have kept it for myself. They became incredible angry and were at each other’s throat with Christopher. - But why didn’t you tell me that she too? - Mason asked. - Me too what? - I asked. - Stop it! - Christopher told him. - Since when do you have this on your arm? - Mason asked me in a huff. - Since the accident. - I was drawing back, I started to fear him again. - Why? What’s it supposed to mean? - I asked them, but they didn’t answer. Mason was looking at both Christopher and me outraged. - I trusted you! - he shouted at Christopher and pushed him strong enough to cause him falling on the ground, then he ran away, very fast into the forest. I’ve never in my life seen any human run as fast as this. Christopher got up instantly and told me to get away, but I revolted against it. - No! Tell me first what’s this all about! - but he was looking at me, grabbed my arm and pulled me to the car through the house. - Christopher! Hey! Stop! You hear me? - but he didn’t slow down, kept on pulling me, but at the car I freed my arm from his. - What the heck is going on? What does this sign mean? - I yelled at him. - Get into the car! - No! Not until you tell me. - Get in!

- I’m saying I won’t. Why don’t you tell me? Maybe I couldn’t understand? - Just get in and stop asking questions. - but this one he articulated as if I were an idiot, and couldn’t understand. - Ok! I get in! - I slammed the door, had enough of the whole thing, just why can’t I be told anything? I also had enough because when something is good, and I’m feeling nice somewhere, why something bad has to happen and ruin everything by rule? Christopher was restless as well, he didn’t say a word to me on the way, and instead he turned the volume freaking high. He didn’t look at me, just pushed the pedal. Like I was the one to blame. I was feeling sick, so turned the music off. - I’ve had enough. - I cried out. - Stop! - I’m not stopping. - But stop! - and we were going faster and faster. - Stop! - and I unfastened my seatbelt, reached for the wheel and turned it, but he jammed on the brakes, all the tires screeched on the road and falling ahead I bumped my head. I didn’t care about that either, as soon as I could open the door, I did so and got out. I told him only: - Congratulations! - he said nothing, nothing in the world. As I stepped aside he drove away. - Nice! - and I watched him disappear on the road in seconds. Everything fell out of my bag, after I accidentally grabbed it in a clumsy way. I quickly put everything back into it. Then I set off for the city through the shrubbery along the road. Since my clothes were still wet and the sun was no longer shining I started to feel cold. Walking on the way I kept my spirits up by saying that I did the right thing getting out of the car. I’m fed up with unspoken things, with all those hidden and forgotten truths, with the unanswered questions. That everyone’s lying to me and no one tells me the truth. I was a long way from home. At least I was lucky enough to see the city board in

the distance, but even from there I have to walk a lot till I get home. And Christopher didn’t come back for me. But it’s not a problem. It’s better alone. I was angry with him and I wasn’t. I was thinking a lot about the kiss, too, about what’s happening between us now and what is not. I wandered away in my thoughts and it took me some time to realize I’m shivering of cold. The wind was starting to blow terribly and the weather was cold, very cold. But then a car appeared affront me, it blew the horn and parked on the side of the road. It was coming rather fast, and at once I didn’t recognize the car, nor the man driving it. I came to my senses only when I was running towards the car. It was father. I was terribly glad for him and I hopped into the car in no time. - Hey, what are you doing here? - he asked and took a good look at me. - What happened to you? As far as I know it wasn’t raining. - and we started towards the city. - Uhmm, I swam a bit. - suddenly I didn’t know what to say. - In clothes? - he was looking at me not understanding. - Yeah, in clothes, I had no choice. - I looked into the mirror. Oh my! - I said myself, I don’t use much make-up, but it has been washed off by the water. - And what were you doing here on the road alone? - he continued interrogating me. - Came for a walk. - I smiled and stared out of the window. Somehow I didn’t feel like saying what actually happened. - Oh well, I won’t ask you any more questions if you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. - Thank you, I really wouldn’t like to talk about it. - I said quietly. - But I’m worried about you and I don’t want you to do something silly. - I won’t do anything bad. - I insisted.

- I believe you! You want me to take you home? Or you want to have another swim? - he was joking. - Take me home. - I was laughing too. - And where were you going? - I asked. He cleared his throat and said he was on the way to my grandparents. - How come? Didn’t we agree that they’ll come here? - Yeah, they will within a few weeks, for a couple of days, but now I had to visit them, you know, they had sold the company for good. And now I help them out with the paperwork and packing. - They sold the company? But why? - Because it was too much for them. It was too much weight on their shoulders and at their age one shouldn’t deal with such things, they should go rest. - Rest? And wait for death? Or what? - I thought to myself. That’s stupid! But partly father is right, they were burdened by all this. - They called you too, to come with me but you didn’t pick it up again. - and he grew more upset. I bowed my head, because this was the case indeed, I had seen the call on my phone and I should have rung them back but it totally escaped my mind. - Are they very mad with me now? - I asked penitently. - No! They could never hold a grudge against you, but I guess they took these to the heart. While we were driving home with father it grew fully dark and I was thinking that I still would be walking on the road, had I not met him. - And Lizz? Why didn’t she come with you? - She’s extremely occupied now with organizing the wedding. She barely has time for anything. - and I could see on father that he is worried. - I see, but as I’ve said before, I’m glad to help. - I smiled.

- Thanks, I think your help will be needed. You know there’s only one month left… - Sure. - You haven’t told your mother, have you? - he looked at me seriously. - Dad, watch the road! - I said. - But no, I haven’t told her. - Good! - Good? And when would you like to tell her? I think it’s about time to inform her. - I’ll tell her soon. - I think you should not delay it so much, hearing the news from another source would be worse for her. - Yeah, you have a point there… - Don’t worry! I think she’ll be glad to hear it. - I don’t know, it’s not that simple. - Yes, it is. Simple. - I encouraged him a bit, but didn’t want him to take it as an offence. - She might be showing that she’s glad to see me with Lizz, but maybe she still wants me back. - That was a good one, dad! - I laughed. - Now, why? - he asked smiling. - I think mother stepped over it a thousand years ago. And what is Lizz saying? - That’s the other thing, she is nagging me to tell your mother, and thinks that I’m reluctant because I am hesitating to marry her. - You see! The solution is at hand.

- I know… - You’ve found happiness, mother is yet to do so, but I believe she is going to find it soon. Meanwhile we arrived. I was looking for him, but so Christopher’s or his father’s car nowhere, which made me feel easy. - Thanks for bringing me home. - You were lucky I was coming that way, else you would have had a long trip. - I know, I know. - I got out of the car and so did father, which I didn’t understand. - You want to come in now? - I knit my brows. - Yes, sure. You just convinced me to tell your mother everything. - No dad, not now. It’s really not appropriate now. - But why? - Because mum is very nervous now because of me and I don’t think this would be the right opportunity to announce the big news. - The lights are not even on. - he looked in through the gates. - You sure she’s at home? - You see? She might not be home, you’ll tell her later when you’re back from grandma’s. - Alright. I’m going, don’t want to be late. - Fine! Thanks again for bringing me home. - It’s natural. - Sending my regards! - I’ll tell them. - and he was on his way. Another positive surprise from dad, he’s

looking more and more decent. Moving away had a good impact on him as well as many other things. It’s true that no lights were on. Nowhere. I went into the kitchen and turned it off. Mum was sitting in the living room, in the dark, on the couch. - Damn! Mum, you freak me out! - I said loudly. - Hm… - she grumbled something, but I couldn’t catch it. A bottle of whiskey was opened and she was drinking. - Why are you drinking in the dark? - I asked. - Your father brought you home? Did I hear well? - and she put her glass down on the table. - Yes, it was him, but why are you drinking? - I sat down into the armchair opposing her. But she didn’t answer. - Mum? You rarely drink… What’s the matter? - I went on. - Yeah, I’m not used to it, I drink rarely, you know, when I can’t handle all the stress anymore. When I can’t put things into their place. - she looked very angry, angry with me. It gave me the shivers looking at her in the current state. - Ohhh… Maybe I should drink every time when someone bad occurs to me, when I become stressed or I can’t understand something. Surely I wouldn’t turn into an alcoholic. - I scorned. I took a glass and filled it with a little whiskey; I bet it’ll be good now. - How’s your father? - and she sipped her drink, I hate it so much. We both know what we should talk about, but first she runs circles. I never understood why. - Father’s well. - I replied. - Fine! Me too. - and she took a big breath. - Ok, mum, stop the act. It’s obvious we have something to discuss. - Yes, but I thought it will be a good prelude… - she was the scornful one now. But then I emptied my glass with on gulp. Perhaps it’s more effective like this

and this conversation won’t be so terrible. - So. First of all, Christopher’s father is Robert… - and she sipped on her drink again. - Mum, look, it surprised me as well, but I didn’t want to tell you especially after what had happened. - But why not? I think I have the right to know, haven’t I? - she yelled at me. - Yes, but I didn’t want you to hate Christopher, because he is a good person, unlike his father. - You can’t be so sure of that. - You see? Exactly because of these comments I refrained from telling you. That’s what I wanted to avoid. - And since when do you know? - Since not so long. - I explained. - But now, tell me. - It was Nathan who told me, only he knew. - I stood up and refilled my glass. - I knew you would get yourself steamed up, so I didn’t want to tell you. - I continued. - You know, Madison, if you had told me earlier, I would not have ended up in a situation like this today. - I’m sorry. But I didn’t want you to forbid me meeting Christopher. - I wouldn’t have done that. You are big enough to decide what you want and with who. But it was still awfully embarrassing today. - I believe that, and I’m sorry, but Christopher was not living with his father, he just moved to him recently. They barely talked, so he’s surely different from how you imagine. - I didn’t want to tell her that he knew his father to be dead, it’s too personal, and mother doesn’t have to know about everything either.

- I’m not thinking he’s like that. But the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. - It’s freaking good. So you think I’m like father then? Or what? Good joke. - No, but there are many things you share, or the way you react to things. - That’s not true! I’m completely different than father. I’d never treat my family as he did. - Ok, Madison. Leave this topic alone. - No! Now, seriously. You think I’m evil? - Your father is not evil either, but there are things he can’t handle, and as a result he becomes angry, irritable and he loses his temper quickly. - You’re right, let’s leave father alone. What did happen today? Why was Robert looking for Christopher? And why here of all places? - Somehow he learnt you two are getting along well. However I have no idea why he was searching for him, he tried to lie, but he pulled out a very transparent one and I immediately knew that it was not true. Something lot more important could have been the real reason. - You didn’t ask him? - Of course not! I didn’t want to get into this. But he must have been here for a full hour. - Did you talk about anything? - Very little. When I put the pieces together, I was frozen, so I drank something quickly and, hmm, have been drinking since. Then I pretended to be on the phone, meanwhile he was in the garden. - So you didn’t talk about anything? - About general things, like the weather and stuff. - And what happened when Christopher arrived?

- Oh yes, he arrived, and on Robert’s facial expressions you could see anger and maybe fear. Yeah, fear was more prevalent. - Fear? Of what? Of Christopher? I don’t know, but something was definitely wrong. I was a little frightened too, what would happen and so on. But they didn’t exchange words, got into their cars and drove away. - Mum, you were not crude with Christopher, right? - although if I think about it, he would deserve it. - No! I wasn’t at all. What do you think of me? - Sometimes you are like that with strangers and after learning who he really is, you see… - I wasn’t! Relax! - she smiled. - Ok, I believe it. - By the way Madison, that guy is really nice, and he was very polite. Perhaps he’s really not like Robert. - Of course he’s not. - I turned my head away, because I didn’t want to talk about him now. - And why are you soaked? Was it raining? Or what? - I wasn’t. Nevermind. I’m really sorry for not telling you all. If anything like this comes across again, I will tell you, I mean, only if you are concerned. - I stood up and headed for my room. - Wait Mad! The only thing I have left to say is that feel free to befriend with Christopher, it really doesn’t bother me, but I don’t want to see his father here again. - Alright. - I was smiling to myself, then ran up the stairs.

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BY THE TIME MOTHER AND father moved apart, father had been with Lizz for a while already. Mother had no one, but she was trying, quite a lot. She started going on dates, as back then. She was behaving differently, just like someone in her twenties and she dressed so. She wasn’t what you’d call dashing, but that’s how she felt good. She got over father. She went on dates often, but they didn’t end up very well. She wasn’t lucky, who looked fine was turned out to be still married or that there’s something wrong with him. Once, not so long ago, a man, Robert to be precise, came to her because he wanted to buy a huge estate on the shore. He picked an enormous villa, so they met more than once. Later Robert asked her on a date. Everything was good and nice for a time, until mother was starting to suspect a couple of things. She said she was feeling he kept secrets from her, but not minor things, but deeper, serious ones, and well, this they have in common with Christopher. Mother kept asking him about other things, mainly about his previous wife. But then Robert grew very upset with mother or more like with the questions and they started arguing. This went so far that Robert hit mom, not hard, only gave her a slap, and since father had had stunts of the same kind, mother left him immediately. Since then they haven’t spoken a word, up until tonight. Robert sent her a huge bunch or roses once, but no note with it. And mother threw all of it right into the garbage. So I can understand why the whole situation today was so embarrassing for her. But I’m a hundred percent sure that Christopher would never in his life raise a hand on me, or anyone else. He is a good man.

Chapter 7

I took a hot bath because I was chilled to the bone; it was very pleasant to put on dry clothes. I kept checking my phone if he called me perhaps, but no… No. And right when I put the phone down on the table I received a message. Christopher sent it. It read: Don’t be angry with me, I know I have a lot to explain, but now I have to go away for a couple of days, there’s something we have to settle with father, but when I’m back I’m telling you everything. Sleep well! I was shocked to read this, I wasn’t expecting him to write this, I mean I hoped he would apologize, but this way it’s perfect. I’ll give him one more chance to tell everything. Since I feel very well in his company and when he’s not along I miss him terribly and I can think of only him. I’m not angry with him, but can’t understand his behavior. I don’t want to lose him, but I’m getting tired of cover-ups and lies. I want to know the truth. I only replied I can’t wait for it. In fact I can’t wait to see him, and for the answers of course. I turned my computer on, checked my mails and I got like twenty messages, the first one being Anthony. My eyes kindled, first I didn’t want to open it, because a strong nerve came over my stomach, then I could hardly open the letter for my hand was shaking so much. “Dear Madison! I truly regret that this is the only way to talk for us. I also grieve that we moved away without saying a word. But you know this is a very difficult period for my whole family, and we saw it best to disappear from this city. Believe me that no one, no one is blaming you, or calls you to for what happened. Everyone was relieved and glad to know that no harm came to you. My parents made up their minds to settle things in a quiet, so to say, secret way. The funeral. I know it must have hurt you incredibly not being able to attend it. But this was the best solution. It broke the spirit of my parents, just like ours and they didn’t want to be reminded of Nathan by everything in the city. Believe it or not, it is really better. We didn’t move away forever, but for a good while, until everything calms down. The feels. Aside from that, everything’s ok, and we are fine as much as one can in the given the circumstances. I hope you’ll get over it and that we’ll see each other soon.

With love: Anthony” I read this letter again and again for about three or four times. I wouldn’t be able to put my feelings into words. On the one hand I was terribly happy to get an answer, to know they think of me this way and they are not blaming me; maybe I was relieved. But on the other I was very sad about their move and who knows where they are or when I will see them again. However, I can fully understand them. This way it’ll surely be better for them as time es, and hopefully for me too. I replied and asked some further questions, and I asked him to tell me if they are coming back, no matter what. Although I feel he won’t reply to this one. I hope they’ll be back some time… I replied to all the letters I had received. It took quite a long time, but I managed to give everyone an answer. I was invited to a bunch of parties, around five this week only, but I don’t feel like it or anything else now for the matter. I became so tired that I fell asleep quickly and fortunately I didn’t wake up in the course of the night.

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NEXT DAY I GAVE GRANDMA a ring and told them how sorry I was about not being able to visit them together with father, for I knew nothing about it until the last moment. And yes, it’s my mistake, because I didn’t call them back immediately. But we couldn’t talk much now, because they have lots of things to do around the company and so they are short on time, as they have always been. I told them I’m fine and they shouldn’t worry about me. Grandpa assured me they’ll really come over soon and will stay with us until the wedding itself. Grandpa never cared about father’s girlfriends, probably because he used to cheat on grandma and who knows, he might be doing so even today. They think it’s natural. I think it’s disgusting and can’t imagine how grandma could or can forgive grandpa. As long as I’m concerned, I could never pardon such a thing, especially if it was

more than one occasion. I exchanged a few words with grandma about the wedding and she was not so delighted, for she has never really liked Lizz. Yet she keeps trying to get grandma’s favorable eye, but these are vain efforts from her part. You could never know the reason for this. After the phone call I went to the kitchen for my coffee. I smelt it in the air that mother was making some. - Good morning. I’ve made some coffee. - Yeah, I felt the scent, it’ll do good. - I’m off to work soon, can’t get any more days off, but I have no humor going in today; these few days were nice, no work, but some rest instead. - I feel for you. – I nodded. - By the way, your father just called. - Why? – I asked and poured a lot of coffee out for myself. I felt that not even a liter would wake me up today. - He’ll come over tonight, because there’s something he wants to discuss with me. Have you done something, Madison? - What? Why do you think he wants to talk about me? - I don’t know, then what else? – Of course I knew perfectly well what was it, but father’s going to tell. - I hope it’s not related to child custody, but I have to go now. I’ll be back in the evening. – and she was gone. I was trying to divert my thoughts from Christopher. When will he come home? When? And what will he say? Oh, I shouldn’t brood over it so much. But I miss him. I was reading the newspaper instead while I was drinking my coffee, although I never read newspapers, those lies and horrors, who the heck needs them? There was nothing genuinely interesting in it until I turned to page five, where my eyes

were fixed in an instant. There it was written that again, in a tragic accident, an elderly man deceased as a result of an attack from wild animals. And that no one understands, if these were bears, why would they behave like this, for it was not typical of them, especially not this often within a short period of time. According to them more of the bears attacked at the same time, which was inexplicable, since bears never attack in packs. So they thought that shooting them in order to prevent any further accidents is the right move. Under the article there was a where anyone can apply to help in the endeavor, only those of course who have experience in the field. They’re looking for good, professional hunters, because they’ve already acquired ission to shoot them. The hunting is planned for this weekend, which is also the deadline for applying. Father used to hunt often, these days it’s becoming rare, but with his friends he still goes on a hunt every now and then. He could never in my life make me go with him. He was always trying to convince me that it’s a good program. But somehow I’m on a different opinion. I think he was offended by it, because he offered me to accompany them, and how kind and caring he was, and I refused every time. I can’t see the excitement in killing innocent animals. It’s so strange, all of it. I miss Nathan very much, couldn’t express it in words, and I hate those who did that to him. But I know that they were not animals, not bears that killed him. And now these poor beings will be killed, punished for something they never committed. And I can do nothing against it. I’m helpless and it drives me mad. Later these ideas made me feel awful and ever so lonely. I didn’t want to sit at home at all and revolve around these issues. I called Kathie to ask what she’s doing. - Hi! Is it convenient? - Hi Mad! Of course, I called you yesterday once. - Really? It wasn’t shown. – This time I really didn’t see anything on my phone. - No problem. Sometimes mine does the same.

- How are you? - I’m well, very well, that’s why I was calling you yesterday, this Friday there’s going to be a big party at my place and you must come! - Oh, I don’t know. - There’s no excuse! You come, end of story. - It might not be suitable for me, I have to help father. - Mad, I know you can spare the time, you can’t be sitting at home forever. It’s high time to come out and relax a bit. - It’s nice of you, look, I will tell you later. - I know you, in your dictionary it means you won’t come. But come for my sake, you’ll have a good time, I promise. My parents are away for the whole weekend, the house is going to be empty. - Alright, I’ll go. - For real? - Sure! One hundred percent! - I’m so happy! Then see you on Friday. - What should I bring along? - Nothing. I’ll settle everything. Bring only yourself. - Okay, bye. - It was good to talk with you, bye. I didn’t have much taste for partying this Friday, but knowing Kathie she would have insisted until I say yes. It might even do me some good. You can never know. Maybe Christopher won’t be back by then, so I’d have nothing to do, except for worrying about everything else.

I was staring out of my head for a bit longer, and I imagined the party and I was starting to feel more like it. Then I took a look up at the wall, there was an old painting above the table left here by the former tenants with many other things. But I’ve given no further inspection to it so far. It might have raised my attention because in style it resembled the one in Mason’s house very much. The colors, the forms too. Perhaps they are from the same artist. This painting shows the shore of a lake, or of the sea, rather, because the waters are reaching for infinity. Two figures appear in it as they are walking in ever deeper into the water, a boy and a girl. This painting is eye-catching too, because the water’s color is red as blood and the shore is black. It is quite a depressing painting, but yet it’s so good to look at it. One hour later I was called by the police to go into the station again. The news totally upset me, I had to talk with the inspector again. I asked what it was about, but they only said it was urgent and I should go in this day no matter what and look for inspector Matthew Dunn, the one I had talk with the last time. Because of this piece of bad news I was unable to deal with anything else, I didn’t feel like doing anything. I prepared myself and drove into the city. I got lost a bit, because I had been to the police only once before, which is not a problem of course. I only had to deal with the police only once before, when at a party we drank a lot and I went home by foot. A patrol car happened to be going there and they found it better to take me home, lest something would happen to me on the road. It was nice from them, that’s how I always think about it, but they had no idea what I was about to get for this from my dad. I managed to park the car, there were barely any rooms left in the lot. I went to the information. It wasn’t a big station, but things were on fire now. - Good afternoon! I’m Madison Moore, and I’m looking for inspector Matthew Dunn, I was told to come here and talk to him. - I’ll tell him in a second, feel free to sit down in the meantime. – and she pointed at a couple of chairs in the corner. - Alright, thank you.

My head was starting to beat again and I had an increasing stomach ache. I’ve taken all the prescribed pills, so I have to endure it somehow. As I was waiting I was observing this place and the people in it. My stomachache was getting stronger, I didn’t know why I had to be there. I took a look on my watch every minute, but time didn’t want to go fast. It might have been better to tell mum about the call, she would have accompanied me for sure, but it might be better that I didn’t tell, because she would be overly nervous which would make my convulsion stronger. - Madison Moore! – called a deep male voice. - It’s me! – I answered and I could see the inspector, who was smiling at me kindly. - Come in! – he beckoned. I closed the door behind myself carefully and sat down on a chair which was facing the desk. There was nothing in this office except the two of us. And it didn’t really look like an interrogatory room. - Thank you for coming in so fast. - The call raised my attention, so I wanted to get it over with as soon as I can. - We have some news regarding the search. I wouldn’t say these are positive news. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but this week the accident was repeated and everything happened exactly as in your case. - Yes, I read it exactly this morning in the newspaper. I was quite shocked by the news. - The tragic accident claims a new victim. – he said in a grave voice. - From the wild animals. – I finished his sentence. But I could see on the inspector that not even he was taking this seriously. - Yeah… The bears… - he agreed. - Was it also in the newspapers that they want to hunt them down?

- Yes, we got the permission and so we hope to avoid any further attacks of the kind. - And just why did I have to come here today if we got, so to say, the culprits, I mean the bears. I don’t understand. - You had to come in, because maybe you can help us. Have anything else come to your mind since the accident? - No, nothing else. – This conversation was suspicious for me, quite a lot. – And what will happen if you kill like three bears and later there’s another attack? You exterminate the lot of them? – I asked slightly indignant. - So you think it was not the beasts who attacked you? So there is something that came to your mind? - What? No! Don’t twist my words. Simply enough, I don’t find it a good idea to kill the bears, it might not have been bears, to begin with, but maybe some other animals. I didn’t see any animals around, anyway. - Then did you see something else? - No, no one. That’s just not the right solution I think. – he was provoking me with his questions. He took a deep breath and browsed the folder in front of him. - Then why am I here? – I asked calmer. - Because at this victim, next to him on the ground we found your driving license. - What? My driving license? – I was looking at him uncomprehending. - As you heard it. - but my license is here in my wallet. – I quickly reached for my bag to get it and prove my point. – I can’t believe it, it’s really not here. I always keep it here. It’s incredible, how did it get there? - That’s what we want to know as well. When was the last time you checked it’s on you?

- I always keep it in my bag, I never take it out. And you gave me back my bag when you came to our house. So anyone could take it from my wallet. But I fail to see why, what’s the whole point? - I don’t know either, but I will find it out. - Am I suspected now? – I was totally on the edge because of all this. - No. I just want to know what happened when your friend died. - I don’t know. I told you everything. – I explained. - Are you sure about that? - Yes. Nathan died, my best friend, and I could do nothing against it. – I stood up, because I was fed up with this. - Please, try to calm down. - Calm down? Very funny! Who the heck took my license? And why did he put it on the scene of another murder? So it was not the animals after all? - Everything indicates an attack of wild animals, and this is the only thing we do not understand. But we are doing our best to find it out. – he was trying to pacify me. - Well, you could do it faster! – I took my bag and ran out of the room. - Madison, wait! – the inspector said. - What is it? Perhaps you want to keep me in? - No. But be very careful. If we learn something, we will notify you, but we expect the same from you. - Ok! – but he surely didn’t hear that. I ran out of the building and stopped at my car for a moment. I was so nervous I lit one cigarette after the other. What the hell is going on? This was too much for me, and I drove home. How on earth my license ended up there? Who’s playing around with me? I don’t get it… What will happen after all

these? I turned down at the store and called Christopher from the car to tell him what had happened and to ask him when he’s coming back. But he was off. I sent him a message to call me back as soon as he can, because there’s trouble again. I went into the store and took deep breaths to calm myself. I wanted to buy something cold. Luckily my head was no longer aching. And not many people were inside, which also made me glad, for I tend to avoid this store exactly because it is always crowded and I’m bound to run into someone I don’t want to talk with. Here we go… Hold on that thought. That’s great. Tom and some mutual friends were coming there with a load of alcohol in their hands. - Hey Mad! – cried Tom loud enough to attract everyone’s attention around me. - Hi! Hi all! – I smiled at them, though it was not an easy taunt at the moment. - How are you? You coming to the party on Friday? – asked Tom. This group of people was in every party, never missed a single one and I’ve always loved to party with them, because they were always funny and we entertain ourselves well. - Yeah, sure. I’ll be there. Kathie will do her best, she can organize good parties only. - Yeaaaah. We can’t wait for it. Glad to know you’re coming, haven’t been anywhere together for long. - Yes, I’m glad too. It’ll be fun! - We buy some beer now and go the lake, fancy coming along? – I haven’t been there for a while, and I would have gone with them, but this day won’t be the day for it. - Uhmm… I have to skip it now. But we’ll meet on Friday anyway. - That’s settled. – he smiled kindly. – Be good, Mad! Bye. He gave a kiss on my face, that’s how he always says goodbye.

- Didn’t know you’re smoking, I feel it on your hair. - Only sometimes… - I bowed my head, because I know I shouldn’t. - It’s not a problem. That’s not what I meant. – and they went away. And I quickly purchased the drink, which was ice-cold, fortunately and that’s right what I wanted. But I was still in despair for things are not turning out the way I want. Moreover, it’s getting worse. I didn’t want to run into any more acquaintances, so I paid for my drink and left the store. Now the only thing I wanted was to be at home, alone. I wanted to speak with Christopher alone. Nevertheless, he didn’t call me or answer the message, who knows when he’s going to turn on his phone. I went home, but went for a walk in the neighborhood to clear my head. I checked my arm and not one bit the sign faded, which raises so many questions, moreover, it was becoming stronger. My palm on the other hand was completely healed, there was nothing to see on it, as if it had not been injured at all. I was walking for a while and the sun was sinking on the horizon, everything growing dark. Yet I had no humor to talk with anyone. I was almost at our gates when I received a message, and its sound made me rejoice, only to fall back to the ground when I took a look at it. Lizz wrote to me, asking to come over some day, because things are getting chaotic and she could use my help, and since I had promised, there was no option but to write back that I’m glad to help wherever I can. I meant it, but for some reason I didn’t feel like it either. I saw that father’s car was parked in front of our house, and so was mother’s, they completely blocked my way, but I wasn’t going anywhere that night, so it was fine. I was a bit worried about the atmosphere waiting inside. I think father just told mother about the wedding. I hoped it led to no conflict. I entered the room acting as if everything was alright. It was not my slightest intension to make them aware of my visit to the police. I didn’t want them to worry about it. Although in this city, news fly on quick wings.

- Hi! - I greeted them gleefully. - Hi! Finally you’re back. - mother said. - Where have you been? - asked father. - Only on a walk in the neighborhood. - You’re alone too much, it makes you no good, maybe you could spend a few days at us, Lizz would be happy, too, we’ve discussed it already. - the fork dropped out of mum’s hand upon hearing father announce this, and me too was a bit surprised. - Hmm… It might not be that bad of an idea, since I’m working non-stop and you’re at home alone. - she added. - I don’t know. Maybe, I’ll think it over. - But I didn’t feel like it, Lizz might be decent, and father is like an angel beside her, but I know what it is to live with him and it might not be for the better. Especially if father’s old traits would resurface, that would make me despise him forever, because I can see how much he has changed. - Alright, think about it, but you can come whenever you see fit. - he encouraged me. - I just heard the big news! But you have known already, haven’t you? - asked mother insulted. - Yes, father has told me already. - I felt slightly bad that mother learnt it this late, she is almost the last person. - Indeed, Madison learnt it sooner, but I’ve preferred to inform you in person. father explained. - No problem, as I’ve already said, I’m glad to hear such news. - Madison, don’t stand over there, come and sit down, eat up, I brought you a tasty dinner. - and father beckoned to sit beside him. - Yeah, come, Lizz made it, it’s divine. - mother added.

- I’m not hungry now, but thanks anyway. - and I was leaning on the table’s corner. - Taste it, you’ve lost a lot of weight. - mother said, but I made no answer, I was simply not hungry, that’s it. - So grandma and grandpa are selling the company for good? - I changed topics quickly before we could go into the matter of healthy diets. - That’s right, finally we could settle everything. - meanwhile I heard the beep of another message on my phone. God, let it be Christopher! But I haven’t checked it yet. - Weren’t they sad to part with it? I mean they must have loved it a lot and have been managing it for long. - Yeah, they loved it and I loved working with them too, but everything’s changing. And nothing is as it used to be. - That’s for sure! - mother agreed. - But imagine, Mad, I have some good news for you! - father smiled. - What is it? - I was looking at him with glimmering eyes. - A hunt was announced on bears this weekend and I’m in. Thus they’ll pay for everything at least. - I was frozen and had a terrible qualm of conscience. - For real? You think that’s a solution? And correct? - My dear, there was another attack and it can’t go on. - mother stood on father’s side. - Yeah, yeah. - he nodded. - And what if it weren’t them? Not bears. What will happen then? - You can be sure those bloody beasts did it. And I was very happy when I was asked to take part in the hunt. You should be happy, too. I don’t understand your reaction. - And suddenly when he was uttering these words, his facial

expressions recalled the old bad memories in me. I’m sure I won’t move back to him, not even if I’m paid for it. - Ok! Congratulations! I hope you won’t hit a single one. - Madison! - father yelled and as he stood up from the table he knocked over a glass and it broke. I saw his former self in his eyes, so I rather left for the backyard. I heard them talking about me for a while after. Father was shouting and mother did the same, as back then in the good old times. Then I heard father slamming the front door and speeding away with his car, which made me happy, he was no longer there. And stress was no longer there. I sat down into the swing-bed, it was a bit cold, the wind started to blow, but no cloud covered the moon and thus it lit the entire garden. It was beautiful. I took a look at the message, it almost ran out of my mind because of father. And yes! It was Christopher! Thank you! I calmed down completely. He wrote: I’ll be back in two days, hang on until then. Two days, that’s not much, I can bear it somehow. I’ll try to concentrate on other things. Tomorrow it’s Friday, days are flying away. The big party will be tomorrow… Somehow I don’t believe that I can completely let myself loose after what happened, but perhaps this party is exactly what’ll turn off every source of stress within me. After I was feeling really cold, I went inside. Mother was off to bed and I tried to sleep as well. Two days, two days only these were in my mind.

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IN THE MORNING I GOT a message from Kathie, asking me to drop by sooner and we’ll get ready together, and chat, because in the party it won’t be the same with a lot of people around. Yeah, I had no chance to find an excuse for today. I had to go.

During eating my breakfast I was thinking about yesterday’s case with the police, I checked my bag, in case of anything was missing. I think I’ve got everything. I can’t understand who needed my license, and for what. To frame me? When everyone knows it were beasts? This whole issue is so impalpable. Then I ed that my license was not returned and I was carefully driving without it all along. However, policemen never stop me around here to check if I have my papers. Later Lizz called me asking when I’m going over to lend her a hand. A wedding dress must be chosen, and my help is needed, because simply she can’t make up her mind. How cute, I’m glad to help. I couldn’t even imagine myself in a wedding dress, ok, I could, but with who? I packed everything, because from Lizz I’m going straight to Kathie’s. Mother left me a note calling my attention to the lunch left in the fridge. If she means that colorful what-d’-you-call-it, I’ll skip. Nobody can be perfect, but I was already on the way to father’s. I hope he won’t be at home. I saw his car nowhere, and when I got out I noticed a piece of paper stuck at my front window. First I believed it to be some ad, but it read: “I think the best solution will be to get away from here as far as you can” - after this my stomach convulsed. I’m done! I’ve had enough! For a moment I considered that telling everything to the police would be the best. Maybe they could help me, for I can bear it no longer. Then I quickly dismissed the idea, I’d rather wait for Christopher now. I crumpled the paper and went inside. Lizz has been waiting for me and as always, she said hi with a kiss. - Oh Mad, I’m so glad you’ll help me out. - It’s only natural. - I’m so excited I can’t make my choice. Ah, I want the best. You fancy a drink or something to eat? I’ve made some cookies. - Uhmmm, a coffee would be nice, if that’s possible. I was not fully awake yet. Although this new message made me distressed, it might be better to keep for myself and not to tell anyone, as if it never happened.

- Yeah, of course, I’ll make one in a second. I’ll have one, too. Seeing the beautiful dresses will surely wake you up! - Sure… - I was thinking. - Wait here till the coffee is ready and I’ll bring all the catalogues here for you. Feel free to eat some cookies. - and she ascended the stairs. And I was smiling after her. I took a look around the house and it was changed, I mean, I’ve been here since then and it different, but I’ve never observed the details this much. Everything is clean and new. As if nothing bad has ever happened or will happen in this house. I was overcome with a feeling like that. Yet… - I’m here! - and she smacked like ten catalogues on the table. - Oh my dear! I thought you can’t choose between two.- I laughed. - To be honest I’d put on all of them if I could. I’d be carried away. - These are truly spectacular! - pretty dresses followed one another as I was turning the pages. - Here’s your coffee, show me, which one do you like? - I think this one would be perfect for you. - I pointed at one of the pictures; the entire dress was lace, but it was not provocative, but classy and there was something special in it. - Yes, I’ve been thinking a lot about this one. But I marked those which I like very-very much, take a look at them. - Around 10-20 red stickers were hanging from each catalogue. - Alright, alright, I’ll, but I think this one’s the best, I can see you in it, you’d look very pretty. - You might be right. But I’m till curious what you think about the rest. Mad, you sure you wouldn’t like to move here for a while? I heard Gilbert had asked you yesterday and I’d also liked that. A change of environment would make you good. - I don’t think so, you know, I attach a number of unpleasant memories to this

place and we don’t get along well with father after a set amount of time. And I’m not bothered at all being alone. - meanwhile I was turning the pages of a magazine. - I know that Gilbert used to be different, but he has changed a lot since then and doesn’t act like that anymore. - That’s right, he has changed a lot, but I can’t forget all he did. You understand? - I do. I hope that with time this opinion of yours is going to change and if you think so, feel free to come here. - Alright, cheers. Look! This one is the best! I like this one the most! - I changed topics quickly, but nevertheless, it was a pretty dress. - Let me see. Ah yes, I was chewing on this one, too. You see, Mad? I knew you’ll be of help. - And where will the wedding be? Do you have the place and date fixed? - It’ll be on the shore of the lake, in that beautiful hotel, the White Orchid. On 25 Aug, I just made an appointment with them today. - Really? I’m sure it’s going to be wonderful; it’s a perfect choice for the setting. - I smiled at her. - I really hope that everything’s going to be perfect, but there’s barely a month left and I don’t want to run out of time, I have so much to do. I don’t want to complain, but Gilbert is not overly helpful in this situation. Or if he’s willing to help, I rather feel that he’s slowing me down, he’s so slow and you have to be on fire here! - she laughed. - Relax, I help in anything you need. And father’s always been like that, I don’t believe he could tell the difference between good and very good. - Yeah, I know what you mean. But it’s good to have you, I’ll call if there’s anything you can help in. - Ok, feel free. - and Kathie was calling me and asked where the heck I am, well, time flew by. - I’m sorry Lizz, but I have to go now.

- Oh, that’s a pity, you could have stayed longer. - I’ll come when I can, but I’m invited to a party tonight and I have to help over there. - Party? You are going to parties? It’s a great idea! Having fun will make you good! - I hope it’s going to be a good one. See you! - Thanks for the help, have fun and stop the brooding. - she gave me two kisses on my cheeks. On the way I noticed that I was almost completely out of gas, so I had to stop. Kathie was constantly calling me, but I’ve already told her I was on the way. I’m hurrying! When I arrived at the gates she was there already. - At last you’re here! Come! Help me, please! We need to take these inside. - and she pointed at like ten packs of beer and a dozen of liqueurs and spirits. - Fine, fine, I’ll help, chill. That’s something. I see there won’t be a lack of this. How many people coming? - Well, I don’t know exactly, but a vast score, I hope it’ll be enough. - Surely! - we took everything into the kitchen, but already there, good Lord, were countless packs and racks of alcohol. I helped in some other things, but time ran on quick feet and it started darkening. - I’m sorry Mad, I thought I can finish this sooner and we will have time to talk normally, but instead you were only lifting weights. - No problem, Kathie. It really doesn’t matter. - Let’s go up and prepare ourselves. - she took my hand and pulled me up on the stairs, into her room. - Look, I’ll put on this. How do you like it? - She was holding a fire-red lace dress.

- Excellent! You made a right choice with this one, red suits you anyway. - But wait, I’ve prepared a dress for you as well. - and she pulled out a black dress with its back completely bare. - Here, try it on! - Thanks, but I’ve brought one. But this one’s pretty nice, too. - No, Mad, you’re going to wear this tonight. I have it all arranged. - she insisted. - After all, why not? It really appealed to me. - I put it on. - Woow, it’s very-very good! You’ll stay in it. - Yeah, it’s good, but you sure you don’t mind? - Of course not, that’s why I gave it to you. It can be yours. - Oh no! You don’t have to give it to me. - Are you kidding me, it’s not my size anyway, and it’s perfect on you. - As I was looking at the dress I felt something around its waist, it was the label. This just made me sure that Kathie bought the dress for me on purpose. - Thank you! It’s really kind of you. - and I hugged her. - It’s only natural. And tonight, try to enjoy yourself! - Of course! - everyone kept saying me this, but yes, I’ll try. - By the time we got ready, a good number of people had already arrived and the party started. Alcohol was everywhere, there was a world of it, and moreover, the others bought a bottle as well. What will happen here? I considered drinking whiskey; it felt good the last time. I drank one shot after the other, and might have overdone it, but I didn’t care, at least I won’t think about anything. Kathie’s family, just like everyone else’s from my class had a pool, and the others didn’t wait much before jumping in it, although the weather was too cold for that in my opinion. I was baking in the heat, too, maybe because of the whiskey.

I was trying to put on a happy face, and it was quite a difficult enterprise, but it saved me all the “Are you really well?” questions. “But really?” These were getting on my nerves, of course they were asked with good intent, but I was frustrated by them nevertheless. Whiskey totally got into my head. I went to my car, because I ed that I had left my phone inside, and at the same time, I could use some fresh air. When I looked back I could see that everyone was feeling alright, and it was a huge gathering, after all. Everyone’s enjoying the party, the same way I used to. It was good to meet the others, and all, but it would have been so good to have Christopher here. Or how good it would be if Nathan… If… I took my phone, of course, that’s where I had left it; when I closed the door a huge black car arrived. A sports car, that’s what I noted. Then Mason got out of it. First I thought I mistook him for someone else, but on a second look I was sure it’s him, and he appeared to be very angry, and that’s what he was, indeed. I haven’t seen him since the last time he dashed away. - Hi Mad! I came to see you, we must talk. - he was looking at me seriously. - What do you want to talk about? Actually I’d have like a hundred questions waiting for somebody to answer them. - At this moment I grew faint. Shouldn’t have drunk so much. - I kept saying myself. - It’s about the weekend’s hunt. - What? How is that related? - I know your dad will participate. Put him off! - Yes, but why? - Just put him off! - No! - I shouted at him. - I won’t, I’m fed up with you not telling me anything. That’s where it’s all over. - Just do it! - he looked me in the eye for an instant and got back into his car. - Wait! Mason! Wait! Don’t leave me here! - But it was too late, he started the

engine. I didn’t hesitate for a moment, got into my car and followed him. He was going with pedal to the metal, and so was I. He saw I’m after him, but didn’t slow down. Those narrow turns. Mother always told me to be careful there.

___________________________

ONCE. ONCE THE MOMENT COMES when you realize that you are not the one in control. That no matter what you do, it’s moved by something else. The moment when you’re afraid of something and you know that it’s going to become true now. The moment when you see take a glance at the deer and it runs across the road ahead of you. The moment when you put on the brakes, but you know very well that it’s too late. The moment when you know that you’re going to fall into the abyss and there’s nothing in the world that could protect you from it. The moment when you know it’s over. When you find it out that you have never been in control over anything. But that you are controlled by something. Something that you can never understand.

Chapter 8

I could hear the beat of his heart. I could hear the beat of his heart. I knew he was beside me. I was not afraid. I felt everything. Slowly I opened my eyes. Nothing around was familiar, not the room or anything else. After a couple of moments I realized where I was. I was at Christopher’s, which made me easy. I felt an intensive smell of orange. I’ve always liked the smell of orange, this too reminded me of Christmas somehow. As I regained consciousness, I felt my head splitting apart. And my ears were buzzing, as if all the sounds were amplified, yet everything was blunt. Christopher entered the room and came to me. I saw that he’s happy I’m awake and I was happy too to see him. - Hi! - he said smiling and sat on the edge of my bed. - Hi! - I said slightly wanting in vigor. - What did happen to me? - and I clutched my head and felt the bandage. - It pains terribly, it’s splitting. - I said quietly. - Wait! It’ll get better soon, won’t hurt this much. - and offered a small red pill with a glass of water. - Here, take it. - I can’t take it, it’s too big. - I could never take big pills without breaking them into two. He took it from my hands and halved it, then I took both. I felt awfully dizzy. I saw blurred images, and the buzz in my ears was increasing. I felt him grasping my hand, but I fell asleep. When I woke up, there was no one in the room with me. This made me feel lonely. I was afraid. I didn’t want to be alone for a single minute. I tried to get out of the bed. With great difficulty I managed to sit up, I was powerless, had no energy at all and I felt giddy, the room was going around with me. I tried to stand up again; I drank some water because I was extremely thirsty. I went into the bathroom, which was next to the room I was lying in. I saw that someone put out clean clothes for me. I washed my face with cold water and when I was patting it dry with a towel, I

looked up and looked into the mirror. I couldn’t believe my eyes, I didn’t even recognize myself for a second. I looked horrible. I took the bandage off my head to see what had happened to it. It was quite a nasty wound, must have hit it very hard. Fortunately no other injury was visible on my face. Not recognizing myself immediately had a reason behind, something was different on me. So far all through my life I’ve had green eyes, but now it was like black, completely different than it used to be. Maybe it’ll go away… I took off my clothes; my body was full of green and blue bruises, as someone’s who was badly beaten. I took a bath with great difficulty and all my movements now appeared to be slow, then I dressed up and retied my head before leaving the room. When I opened the door a strange feeling of discomfort came over me, as if I should step out of the room, and stay inside because it’s safe here, and as if something terrible would be waiting for me outside. But I can’t stay here either; I don’t want to stay here alone. I felt unusually weak. I descended the stairs, because I found no one on the ground floor. - Where could Christopher be? - I asked myself. Where? Bang went the door behind me. I went there to see who’s there, but saw no one. Perhaps he went to the backyard? But when I opened the door, that ominous feeling strengthened in me. Stepping out in the light felt as if I had lived in a dark cave for years; the sun totally blinded me for a few seconds. I saw that Christopher just arrived by car. I hurried to him, would have rushed if I could have spared the energy, but I was trying to hurry. When he noticed me, he got out, we hugged and I saw everything nice and good again. - Where have you been? - I asked him, but he didn’t catch it, because I mumbled the words into his pullover. - You feeling better? How’s your head? - he worried. - Fine, fine. No problem. - I lied.

- I’ve brought you a couple of things. Come, let’s get back to the house. - he put his arm around me, I looked at him and asked: - Will you tell me inside what happened? - Are you ready for it? - Yes! - I said without hesitation. - I’ll tell you. - he replied, but right at that moment I knew the answer. I knew the answer, I felt it. I had died. In the house we sat down on a couch which was full of red pillows, I grabbed one, and he brought me something to drink, because I was thirsty again. - Is there anyone else here? - I asked. - No, no one else. Only the two of us. - then he sat down next to me. - You sure you’re better? - he asked again. - Yes, feeling a bit weak, but I’m fine. - It’ll get better with time, in the beginning everyone feels weak. - In the beginning of what? - Of recovery. You know, it would be best to stay here in the next days until you’re better. There’ll be only the two of us. It would be too big of a shock going straight back to humans. - I don’t get it. I have to tell mum I’m ok. Where could my phone be? - I was getting myself worked up, I tried to rise, but he made me sit back on the couch. - Relax, I’ve told her already. I called her and said that we are gone for a few days, for three days and I’ll take you home after that. - I didn’t understand why he had to make up a story like that, but I agreed to it. - I can’t recall the accident. Only that I was driving behind Mason and a deer jumped out, and I tried to… - Oh my dear! - and I clutched my head again. How could I have survived that?

- I’ll show you something. - he took off his T-shit and the exact same sign was on him as on me and Mason. I touched it carefully, then he turned around and looked at me. He took my hand and we went towards the stairs, there was a door leading to a cellar or something like that; it was well under the ground, because a long way of stairs was reaching down. When we got to the end of it, I felt as in a museum. The stairs led to a huge chamber and everywhere on the walls there were paintings hanging from the same kind we had seen in Mason’s house. - Take a close look at them. - he pointed at them. - these pictures tell you the story I couldn’t so far, they are all about that. - I was trying to grasp the answer from these, but everything was obscure. - I know that everything I’m about to say is going to be incredible, but you need to trust me now. - Alright, I’ll believe you. - I nodded. - Everyone with the same sign as on your arm belongs to us. - and he pointed at the paintings for everyone there had the sign, indeed. - What do you mean by belonging to you? Is this a group? Who are you? - I asked. - You can call us Protectors. Whoever the sign appears on is bound to die soon, but only secedes from his old life, and starts a new. It’s like waking up from a dream, and finally being able to live for real. You’re now different from other people. From now on you belong to us, that’s why the color of your eyes altered. And with time everything will change and you will see everything differently. When these words were uttered I could hardly breathe, I could believe nothing from all of this. My heart was beating extremely fast. I couldn’t say a word. - Think it over. How many things have happened to you recently which you cannot explain or understand? I looked up on the wall, at the paintings, as if they could bear testimony to what Christopher was saying. But I couldn’t believe in it, not even like this. I’d have started a sentence, or a hundred rather, but I couldn’t. My head grew dizzy so I

rushed up on the stairs for air, and Christopher followed. - I’m sorry, but I just can’t. - and I took deep breaths to feel better. - I know it was very much for you now, but you have to understand. - I understand, I think, somehow. I know it was me who wanted to know the answers so eagerly, but that’s not what I expected… I sat down beneath a tree, because all of a sudden standing itself was a difficult task. I was staring blankly ahead. I looked at my arm, at the sign, asking why? Why is this happening to me? Christopher helped me stand up, because I became incredibly thirsty and as a result we went back into the house. I drank like five glasses of water, I drank as someone who have never tastes water. I felt better, much better. - So you’re trying to say I’m dead? Like a zombie? - I asked mockingly and he laughed. - Oh no. Try to imagine it as when someone’s heart stops and for a few moments, he’s dead, but he’s eventually brought back to life. But for us, life, new life starts on its own. - New life… But why? I don’t get it. - We only know the reason behind it. It happens, because we have a purpose, a task to achieve. Protectors have existed for a very long time, for centuries, and we are, so to say, following them, their deeds. - And what’s the goal precisely? - You’ll see, I’ll tell you later. - And who’s in control of all of this? - Noone can say who’s in control over choosing the future Protectors. They are chosen by fate.

- Fate? Well… You know, that’s all you’ve told me so far and it’s exactly like being in a dream from which I’m trying to awaken, but every time I awake into the same realm. Simply I can’t comprehend it. - and my nose started to bleed. - Here, a tissue, hold it tightly. - Thanks, it never bleeds. So you knew I was going to have an accident? meanwhile I was trying to stop the bleeding, it was rather unpleasant. - Yeah, I knew that your old life was coming to an end, but I didn’t know when and how exactly. When I learnt what had happened to you I was hurrying back. - Why haven’t you told me sooner? - You must be kidding. You barely believe a thing I’m saying now, imagine how you’d have reacted otherwise. You would have thought me an idiot. - I had nothing to say to it, he was kind of right. - And how did I get here? - After your accident Mason brought you here, to us. And we got rid of your car, it was smashed to pieces. - Got rid of it? Why? - Noone can find out what happened to you. Noone would believe that you survived an accident like that. Everyonew would be watching you and ask thousands and thousands question. - You’re right. I can understand that. But what will I say, where did my car go? - You’ll say it was stolen while we were away… - And what will I say if they notice, which is pretty sure, that my eyes are black? lenses? - That’s a good idea! Sounds credible. - he smiled. - Is there anything else? Anything else that changed in me? - Yes. There are a few things, but you will notice them later only, when feeling

better. - What does Protectors exactly mean? Who are to be protected? - We protect people… You know, you’ll understand this fully only after encountering a normal human. It’ll be rather strange and shocking. - Hm… From what should be people protected from? - Mainly from themselves. - From themselves? - Ok, come, I’ll show you. There’s a small shop not far from here, only a few people work there and you’ll understand what it is all about. - Alright. - You sure you want to see? - Yes! Sure! If I already know this much, I want to get a hold on the missing pieces. We got into the car and drove to that shop. We stayed in the car. Christopher told me not to be afraid of what I’m going to see. I couldn’t imagine what was about to happen, and what he was talking about. We went in. The shop was selling tools, mostly. At the counter was a seller, an elderly man on his own, and no one else around. First I thought that I was only seeing things, probably as a result of hitting my head earlier. But as I took a closer look, I was assured that it was not my imagination, it was reality. Immediately above the old man’s heart I saw a number, 556. - 556… - I mumbled and Christopher gripped my arm tightly and looked at me. - Come, let’s get away from here. - he said. - You don’t need anything? - the seller asked kindly.

- No, thank you! - answered Christopher and he was already opening the door and pulled me out of the shop. We got back to the car, but didn’t start the engine. We just sat there for a while without saying a word. - So you saw it? - he broke the silence. - I, I… - I stammered. - I don’t know, what do you mean? - Of course you do, Mad! 556! You said it out loud. You saw it! - And, you too? - I looked at him as if I had seen a ghost. - Yes, me too. - What is it? What does it mean? - This number indicates how many days are left from his life. - What? This is a bad joke, right? - I was taken aback. - I felt the same way in the beginnings. I don’t know, I needed around a month to work myself through the whole thing. - But I was sitting there silently, unable to put a well-rounded, full sentence together. He started the engine and we were on the way back to their house. During all the time I was hoping to wake up and realize that it is only a nightmare which will be over soon. When we arrived, I hopped out of the car by gathering all ym remaining strength and I started for the backyard. I stopped upon reaching the pool; Christopher went inside, I heard the door closing in. I was standing there at the side of the pool looking at the surface as a few leaves were drifting on it. At one point I lost my footing as if someone pushed me from behind. I regained consciousness later, when Christopher pulled me out of the water. I was confused beyond measure and terribly thirsty again. He took me into the house and gave me a warm blanket, although I didn’t feel cold at all. Or at least I didn’t care.

- I don’t understand why we see that number. This whole thing is incredible. - We see it, because we are the Protectors; as I have already told you, you are one of us now. And we need to aid them in some form. - But how? By telling them you have two days left from your life, use it well? Or what? - No. There are laws which were made by the Protectors a long time ago, and we must keep those. No matter what, we can’t tell anyone who we are and we can’t prevent their death. This means that we know exactly when someone is going to die, and we have to be with them to make them aware that life is valuable. They should value what is left. - Every person? - It doesn’t appear on everyone. It’s not so common, not at all, so far I’ve had four cases on the whole. - But why don’t we see it on everyone? Then it would be possible to make everyone’s life better, right? - That’s not something we decide either. The man you just saw is the only one around whose number is visible, but it’s not me who attends him. - So the number of days remaining from one’s life is shown? - Yes. - Could it be manipulated somehow? - What do you mean? - Let’s say that someone has five thousand days left from his life, but on the next day he falls victim to a second-degree murder, or he commits suicide, a car runs him over or whatever, then he will definitely die on the spot and so his number was wrong. - I know what you mean; these numbers show the way leading to death by natural causes. It doesn’t matter if murder or a car accident results in death. He

has the set amount of days left, and no more. If he doesn’t decide to end his life with his own hands, he will have, as you said, five thousand days left. - In case I would learn, although I never want to, but if I could see the number of my mother or father that they have five days left and I would spend all of it with them to keep them safe, what would happen then? - It’s not something you can do, you can’t prevent it. You have no word in it. If you know how many days they have left, you can only help through your presence and can’t tell them or guard them. Shall you act otherwise, you’ll be punished. - By who? - We have superiors, too, who have been Protectors for a very long time; they give us orders, they have their own rules as well, and in case you break any, your punishment for it is death. It’s part of the law. But there’s something else we need to protect them from… - From what else? - From the Deciders. - From who? Are there others? - In the beginning they were Protectors, just like us. However, they decided to stand on the other side, the bad side. They don’t help people, but take advantage of this situation and make them do horrible things. Besides that they are constantly fighting us, trying to suppress us. It is part of our task to stop them. - Why would they do such things? - Out of joy, having power and using it entertains them. - And what can they make people do? - Everything that comes to their mind, mainly murders. This way the chosen person will become the culprit instead of them, and he’ll die soon anyway. - It’s horrible. So the law you were speaking about doesn’t punish the Deciders

for killing innocent people or attacking you? - They don’t punish this. - I don’t understand. That’s just plain stupid! - You don’t have to fully understand, but make sure you keep all the rules. That’s why we are here, to stop them. - How can be like this? – I didn’t agree with all of it at all, but I could do nothing against it. - I don’t know. Try to focus on your task. To stop them and protect people. - But how? - However we can. - How many Protectors are on the whole? - Here in Whitefish City there are the eight of us. - Eight? That’s a relatively big number compared to the city’s size. But I don’t know about many murders committed here. - We are here in such a big number because we have learnt that the Deciders are around and we are preparing to end all of this. And now you belong to us. Believe me, it’ll be all different as time goes. It won’t be so strange. You’ll get used to it quickly. - I truly hope so. But I don’t want to know how much time my mother or father, or anyone I like has left… I don’t know what I would do. - It hasn’t appeared on them yet. You won’t know. - Not yet… And what if one day it does appear? - Madison! You have to accept that. – he said, but it’s easier to say than done. Everyone is astounding. I bent over the table and watched the tiny veinlets forming rings on the wood.

- And do you see my number? You know how much time I have left? - No. I’ve never seen how much you have. - I see. So now that our lives restarted, will we never die? - We will. Our lives will come to an end just like any other. - Then… I guess you didn’t come here because you’ve never met your father… - That’s right. I couldn’t tell you the truth in several things. You know, the one you saw, Robert, he is not my father. - Then who is he? - He’s my uncle. I was seriously considering telling him that I didn’t find him a good person based on his unfortunate case with mother, but I rather kept it for myself. For some reason I didn’t want to tell him. Maybe because not telling it would make it undone. - The reason I came here for – he went on – is a certain Decider I’m looking for. As I have said, we believe that many of them is around. And I think the one I’m looking for is here. - What Decider? - I’m searching for the Decider who killed my mum. - Killed her? Oh my God… But why? - Before anything happened to me, when I was living an ordinary life. One night I went to a great party where we got blasted and I didn’t go home that night, only next morning. That’s when I learnt from uncle that mother died during the night. Back then he told me it was heart attack. And when I was going through the same thing as you now, I learnt that she was killed by a Decider. I will never forgive myself not being with her. Not being able to protect her. - It’s not your fault! You couldn’t have known what was to happen.

- Of course. But if I were there that night, I might have prevented it… - I’m really sorry you had to go through this. Really. – Sure, I could have said something better, but nothing else could leave my mouth. - You know, a year ago I was an ordinary person like everyone else. Then as it was with you, strange and weird things started to happen with me, and the sign appeared on my body. I showed it to no one, I felt that no one can learn it. We were living together with my mum, because father had died long ago, so that was true, I didn’t know him. - And what did happen after that? You died? - Yes. But all of it happened in my dreams. When I woke up, everything was changed and at first I didn’t understand a thing. - And how did you come to know the truth? - My uncle said it all, after mother was no longer with me, I moved to him, and he showed me everything he could. - So your mother didn’t know about anything? Like my parents? - She did. She was also a protector, she knew everything, but didn’t tell, that was her way of protecting me. I guess she hoped I won’t be like her. I didn’t know what to say. He continued after a short pause, but I saw how heavy it was on him. Which is understandable, I don’t know what would come to me in case someone killed mother… - A Decider killed her… - he said with rage. - And do you know why? - No. - It must have had a reason for it, right? - I don’t exactly know why, no one knows. But I’ll find it out as well as who’s responsible for it.

- What will you do if you find him? - I kill him. - You kill him? But… - Yes! That’s how this world operates. - I don’t think so. In my opinion that’s not the best solution. - Then should I leave him live on peacefully? - I didn’t say that, but… this way you’ll become like him. - You are overly kind-hearted. Now. - Now? - Yes, but when you see how terrible and cruel this world is, your opinion will change. - We will see. And don’t you suspect who was it? Which Decider? - Right now they are grouped up somewhere not far from the lake, inside the dense woods in a house which has almost fully glass walls. That’s what we have been able to find out so far. - Grouped up? So it resembles a kind of sect? - Something like that. Made up of people who used to be Protectors, but became Deciders. It is a very solidary group, just like ours. They protect one another, do anything they can for the other’s sake and have a common goal. It’s really a shared point between us. - Murder would be that common goal? – but he gave no answer, and it was unnecessary to say it loud. We both knew the answer. Everyone’s like this, the only thing that matters is power and at all costs they seize it. Only to be in control, to possess something. - And where’s Robert now, I’m yet to see him. – I said.

- He’s away now, far from here there’s a minor city where he meets a Protector who knows the exact location of that house. With that information we will square s with them. - Will you? – but he didn’t answer this either. I don’t know how it is possible to get used to. I feel like being given drugs and everything going on now is just my brainchild, my imagination. - I’m starting to get the picture now. I when you said that I’ll be safer at home. Yes, you kept saying this and to take care and stuff. Did the Deciders want to take advantage of me? - No. – he said in an odd tone. - This was far from convincing. - So, initially, yes. - I don’t get it. - You know, they always seek out the next Protector. To get him or her on their side. - But how did they know I’m going to be a Protector? - As I did, from the sign. - Ok, but they could not have known about it, as you said, I showed no one and always kept it covered. - Probably they learnt about it when you were in the hospital, they are everywhere and find out everything fast. But I was beside you and so they couldn’t get close. - And what would have happened if they reach me, we talk and I don’t them? - They kill you. If you are not with them, you are not allowed to be against them, and thus you’ll mean no harm.

- They kill me? – I stood uncomprehending these words. - Yes, it could not have happened, we were watching over you. - It’s incredible, but I always felt as if someone was beside me, someone was watching me. - You know, they came to me as well, but already after my transformation. However, I was unaware of what’s happening around. I didn’t find the answers anywhere, and I discredited my uncle’s words when he told me the same I ed on to you. I ran away and ended up walking on the shore; I always felt relaxed there and once again I thought that everything is going to be alright if I go there. There they got me, the Deciders found me. - But they didn’t hurt you, right? - They couldn’t. On the other hand, they didn’t leave me too many options to choose from. Since they couldn’t catch me before my transformation due to mother’s and Robert’s protection. So actually they asked me only one question. Whether I them or die? - What did you say? - Nothing. I didn’t believe anyone, it was way too sudden. And then Mason and a couple more Protectors appeared and rescued me. Had they not come, I don’t know what could have happened. - What do you mean by that? - I mean that I wouldn’t necessarily have said no to them. By that time I didn’t even know they were involved in mother’s death. Who knows, I might have taken their side. After all, they are quite convincing… - I guess then many the Deciders, with no other choices left… - Quite a lot. Those who don’t want to die or believe what they offer. Fortunately we are here and when they want to convert someone, we prevent it. This way we can protect them. - You were lucky to be saved by Mason! Has he been a Protector for long? – I

asked with curiosity. - Longer than I… He was keeping it secreted from me for years which led to the deterioration of our relationship. There were too many things he didn’t tell me, and I couldn’t understand. He always went somewhere and acted strangely. - I can feel for you. – I smiled. - Yes, I believe that. - So you were not childhood friends? - We were. That’s true. But after this sudden change in him we drifted apart and we barely spoke. Then one day I heard he moved here. I heard nothing about him for a full year. The next time I saw him, he was busy saving me from the Deciders. Then he told me all, since I mostly knew about them, but I was still unwilling to accept. Nevertheless, I understood him and this whole situation why he was so seclusive. You know, he was and still is like a brother to me. - Of course, I can fully understand… My relationship with Nathan was of the same kind… What do you know about him? You said it wasn’t beasts who attacked him… Then what happened to him? - He was attacked by the Deciders, but I’m not one hundred percent sure yet. I haven’t followed up a clue yet. I tried, but still can’t say with utter certainty that it was them. - So he was a Protector as well? Was he? Although I don’t think so; I would have noticed. - I don’t know. I’ll find it out and you will be the first one I tell if I learn anything new about him. - And why did Mason tell me to put father off the weekend’s hunt when we met on the party’s evening? Is this related to Nathan’s death? - Yes, but since we don’t exactly know what happened to Nathan or the other people who died in the forest, we can only suspect, and that’s why it’d be important to put off your father. He might get hurt.

- I see. I’ll definitely tell him; I’ll find a way. - This is going to be the best solution. But now the most important thing for you is to put all this together in yourself. - Yes, you’re right. I’ll put everything to its place, somehow. It was utterly dark and I was very tired. I didn’t have a headache anymore, but I rather took a rest. I had to, after all this. Everything has changed. Everything will be different from now on. Me too.

Chapter 9

Next morning I was feeling much better. Nothing hurt I felt as if I were my old self, I mean, I didn’t feel weak; on the contrary, I was full of energy. I went down to the kitchen because I heard that Christopher was there. He was making breakfast, I could feel its scent on the stairs already. It was kind of him to take care of me, it helped me a lot. - Good morning! – he greeted me kindly. - You too! – I smiled back. - Feeling better? How’s your head? - It’s fine. I’m absolutely fine. – I insisted. - I see the wound is healing nicely. - Yeah, it’s quite rapid. I feel it completely changed. It’s a bit weird. - It’s not. Later it’ll get a lot better. – and he put my breakfast on the table. It was pancakes with maple syrup. – I recalled you like it. - Yes! Very much! Thank you. It is one of my favorites. It’s very nice of you. - It’s natural. I used to like it when I was younger. - And now? - I still do. – he smiled. - You know I was thinking a lot this morning and decided to go home today, lest mother would be worried. - Alright, but I’d prefer you getting some rest here for the next few days. - I know, but I feel I have to go home now. - Then I’ll take you home. - I also want to ask what I’m supposed to do in case I see someone’s number I

don’t want to. What should I do then? - First of all, inform me. But I doubt you would see. If yes, then tell me, no matter what. - Ok, I hope I really won’t see anyone’s. Do animals have numbers? Can it appear on them? - No, not on them, only on humans. - I see, I see. It’s delicious, by the way. – I ate like three pancakes, I was so hungry… - Feel free to ask if you have any further questions. I’m glad to answer all of them. - Hmm, yes please. You know, I’m also curious about what average people know . Or about the Deciders. - This is a bit complex. There are a few people who know . But it doesn’t change the rule not to tell anyone. I mean it, Madison, you mustn’t talk about it with anyone. - Ok! I got it, won’t tell anyone. And those people who know , do they live here? - Yes, a couple of them are here. This also explains the letter you received. - You know, not long ago I got another one which said I should get away from here. - I’ve no idea about the sender, but I’ll take a look at it as well. – he answered in a serious tone. - Maybe Dr Hard, hm? He also told me to cover the sign; he must know its meaning. - I don’t think it was him who sent the letter, he knows , but wouldn’t send you away from the city. Dr Hard is on our side.

- On our side? - Yes, there are some who are on our side and aid us, but there are others who don’t. I don’t think you know them or the other way around. For the time being it’s better for you not to know their identities. - Why? - Because the less you know about each other, the better… And naturally the Deciders too have their own men, who are looking for you or your kind. Those with a newly appeared sign are high targets and these men immediately inform the Deciders if they encounter one. We finished breakfast, then I went upstairs and packed a few things. I got some painkillers just to be on the safe side. Christopher was waiting for me downstairs at the door. - You sure you want to go home? - Yes. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good being here with you, but now I feel that I’m needed at home. - Alright. Come! – and he opened the door. When we got into the car it came to my mind how hectic and jumpy they will get upon learning about my car and that they couldn’t even me on the phone because it was totally dead. However we didn’t go straight home, moreover, I decided to spend this day together. It was really good being with Christopher. Half of me didn’t want to go home, but I know that was the right thing to do. When we returned it was utterly dark. The lights weren’t on in the house so I concluded that mother is already sleeping. - Thank you for everything. Really… - And I gave him a kiss then got out of the car. - Try to get some rest. We’ll meet soon. - Alright. – I smiled back.

Then I went inside, treading carefully not to wake mum. I sneaked up into my room. All of it appeared to be so alien now. As if I weren’t living there. There was a box on my bed with no sender on it, saying only that it was for me. I opened it quickly. For a few seconds I didn’t look what’s inside, maybe it’ll be something bad. Then I looked into it. There was a Bible in it. This was of peculiar interest, but I didn’t know what to make out of it. I’m not religious, my whole family has never been so. We’ve never used to go to church. My parents wanted me to make my own choice when I’m more mature and that’s exactly how it should be done in my opinion. I have always believed in a great power standing above us and controlling us somehow, and after all the recent things I believe in it even more. But I really didn’t get this one… I opened it out of curiosity and turned the pages looking for a clue which leads to the sender. The first page was written on. It read: Only if you want to… Upon reading this I immediately closed the book. It was a nasty joke. I don’t know who’s making fun of me, but he’s a bastard. This is what Nathan used to tell me. Always. This was the sentence we kept saying each other when fooling around. I don’t know who else can know about it, but he is very insensitive and I cannot even guess what message he’s trying to leave by this. There was nothing else in the box. It’s really odd. I arranged my bed and tried to get some sleep. I was tossing around for hours and around a thousand questions have been swirling in my head by the time I could finally fell asleep. In the morning I was woken up by the terrible heat in the room. I could barely breathe. I quickly opened the windows, but the heat made me nervous and I throw them open with too much force, enough to make the glass shatter. - Damn! – I cried. Mother must have heard it. - I’m so clumsy. Damn it. I took a look on the corridor to see if she’s up, but fortunately she wasn’t. She often uses sleeping pills and very often not even the explosion of a bomb could wake her up. I went back into my room and got prepared. I covered the wound on my head, but it was not very eye-catching anyway, and luckily I covered the sign too. The purple and green bruises were totally gone.

I went to the kitchen and made some coffee, there I heard that mother woke up and the sound of her steps on the stairs. - Hi Darling! And you? How come you’re at home already? – she asked in surprise. - Good morning! I came home last night, but didn’t want to wake you. – It was like a quarry that fell off my heart when I saw no number on mother’s chest, thank God, I hope it will be the same for everyone else. I don’t know what I would do. - Why didn’t you call me? Pour me some coffee please, I must wake up. - Sure, here you go. I didn’t call you because my phone was dead. – This lie was an easy one, but how about the car? I knew that I will have to lie in numerous things, which won’t be easy at all. But I have to, and it made me anxious. - Madison! What’s up with your eyes? They are brown. – she was surprised. - Yeah, I felt like putting in lenses; you can get them in various colors, you like them? - I think the original was better, but if it’s good for you… Ok, I’m listening! How was the trip? – she sat down facing me and sipped into her coffee. - Excellent! Missoula is truly a wondrous place! - I thought you were gone to Spokane City. Wasn’t that the plan? Christopher said so. – Damn it… It slipped out of my mind. - Yeah, that was the plan, but we changed our minds since there is much more to see in Missoula. So we went there. – I explained briefly. - And what did you do? - We went to lots of places, you know, we acted like tourists. - So everything was alright? - Of course mum, everything!

- Sure you enjoyed it? - Mum! Yes, I did, a lot. We should go there once. - Glad to hear that! Yeah, we could do something nice. I’ll find a good program for the weekends. - Good idea! – I smiled. - By the way, Christopher was very nice on the phone. I’ve already told you it’s your choice what you do and with who, so I really don’t want to horn in, but I’m glad you’ve found someone. - Me too. Was everything ok at home? I just really couldn’t talk with anyone. I might buy a new phone, there’s too much meddling with this. - Great idea! It has been out of order for a good number of times. But yeah, everything was fine here, I managed to sell a huge estate up on the hill, so I received a high commission. - That’s great! Good job! - Yes, the secret of good presentation skills. – she laughed. – You could get into the business if there won’t be other options. I could train you if you want to. - Oh, mum, I don’t know. We’ll see, ok? But cheers. - Since I could sell this, we can really get away on a minor holiday. I’d do with moving out now. - Alright, make up your mind where to go. – I encouraged her. - Any ideas? - No, I’ll leave it to you. - Apropos, you got a parcel; I took it into your room. Did you find it? - Yes, I did. Who sent it? – I grew very excited. - I don’t know. Nothing was written on it. Someone had left it in front of the

door. - Fantastic! – I said with irony. - Why? What was in it? - A book. Not important. – I didn’t want to tell her, the less she knows is the better. – And how’s father and Lizz? – I was trying to divert the course of discussion. - They’re doing great, told me they were looking for you. In any case, drop in and tell them about your phone. And Kathie kept calling too, she said you had disappeared from the party without a word. - But did you tell her where I was? - Of course, I told her you were gone with Christopher. – Hmm, I’M yet to mention Christopher to Kathie, she’ll be mad because of this and also of the party, leaving in the middle of it. - We’ll talk it over. - Ok, and don’t you want to ask Christopher to dine here tomorrow? - What? For real? – I was beyond surprised. - Sure! I want to know him better. - That’s nice of you, I’ll tell him. And will you be the one cooking? – I laughed. - No, of course not! A new restaurant opened in the city, I’ll order something from that place. - I didn’t want to offend you… - Oh, you didn’t, I know cooking is not my forte. – she smiled at me, but it must have hurt her. - Mum… Something bad did happen. - What? What happened? – she became alarmed.

- Well… - I stared ahead and took a deep breath. - Say it! – she said. - Ok! My car was stolen. – and I bowed my head. - What? What do you mean it was stolen? – she became really angry; I can understand… - Uhm, I don’t know how it happened exactly. We went into a shop and I left it, and we were inside for a rather long time, and when we got out it was not there. – I felt very bad for I had to lie this, but I had no choice. - Good lord! Madison. Have you been to the police? - Of course, I told them immediately, but they said it was surely not in the city anymore. I’m very sorry. - Ah… But it was a very expensive car. - I know, don’t be angry with me, please. Things like this happen. - It happens that your phone or wallet gets stolen, but your car? What will your father say? You know how he is… - I know, he’ll be mad beyond measure. - That’s for sure. - I’ll tell him. - That’ll be a nice row… Oh Mad! - I can’t help it now, mum. - You sure you locked the car when you went into the shop? - No, mum, I’m not. What’s more, I left the key inside to make their job easier. - Ok, you don’t have to make fun of it.

- Sorry. - I need to hurry to the office again; I have a lot of paperwork to do because of the sold estate. Will be back in the evening. - Alright. - Telling my mum wasn’t that horrible, I’ll have a tougher round with father though, but I have to. When mother left I considered going into the city and meet Kathie. Not having a car really hurts… I wonder how much is left of it. Then I heard someone blowing the horn in front of our house. I went out quickly and rejoiced. I couldn’t believe my eyes. - I can’t believe it! - I exulted. It was Christopher and my car, or at least a car which looked exactly as mine. - Hi! What is this? Is this my car? Wait, it’s not mine. - Not identical with previous one, but it’s yours. - Oh my God! - Overcome with joy I hugged him, I couldn’t believe it. - how can it be? - I didn’t want it to be awkward, your car missing. - So you bought me one of the same kind? - Yes. - he smiled at me. - It’s very nice of you, but I can’t accept it. - You can! End of story. What would you say where did it go? - Well, I told mother it was stolen while we were in a shop. - And she believed it? Madison! - he said kindly. - Eventually, she did. - It’s even better this way, no one will ask you questions.

- You’re right. Thank you very much. - It was a bit embarrassing to accept it, but I knew this was the best solution. - You’re so attentive. I’m so happy you’re here with me. You don’t know how much it means to me. - and he bent down and kissed me. - Everything’s going to be alright. - he said. - You know, now I’m starting to believe in that. Thanks again for the car. Oh, something weird did happen yesterday though; when I came home there was a parcel on my bed. - What parcel? - he asked. - There was nothing in it except for a Bible… Rather strange, isn’t it? - It’s kind of strange, all the things someone is sending you, I’m yet to figure out who is behind it. I don’t know, it was put down in front of our door. On the first page a sentence is written which we used to say often among ourselves with Nathan. I’ve got no idea who’s fooling around with me, but it’s very annoying. - I don’t get it either. What is it good for? - But his answers triggered a strange sensation in me, as if he was keeping a secret from me. - And how did it go with your mother? Did she notice anything? - No, nothing, only the color of my eyes, but I solved that one in a second. - How quickly he changed topics, or am I imagining things? - Everything was alright, she only got distressed about the car, but then it’s settled thanks to you. A huge rock fell off my chest, oh God, what would I have got from father for it? - And would you believe, mother invited you for tomorrow dinner. - That’s really kind of her. Tomorrow evening? - Yes, it would be so good if you could spare the time. Is it ok tomorrow? Can you come? - I can, I will make it so. Thanks for the invitation, but I need to hurry now.

- So you want a lift? - No! - he refused, and I felt again that something was not alright. - What’s the matter? - I asked him. - Nothing, I just really have to go now. - he gave me a kiss and set off by feet. But I saw a black car stopping next to him on the road, he getting in and they drove away. Immensely strange. Meanwhile I heard the phone ringing inside. Yes, at times like this I’m grateful that we still have a home phone, we haven’t been using it for a long-long time, but occasionally it’s useful. I ran in, it was father, he told me he was about ten minutes from the house and would be there soon. His voice was nervous, but I didn’t care. I went back to my room and cleaned up the glass shards from the floor; luckily my windows have double glass. By the time I finished, father was there with Lizz and they called my name. Father was fidgety, as he used to be and having Lizz on his size didn’t change a thing now. She said nothing, she was silent. - Madison! - he yelled loudly. - I’m coming, I’m here. - I opened the door; they were in the front garden, because I left the gates open. - Hi! - I greeted them, but only Lizz replied in a timid voice. - Your phone? What’s up with it? - father inquired. - It died, but I recharged it, so I’m available now. - Congratulations! - he said taunting. What would he say about the car, honestly? - Show me! - he said in a huff. - It’s here, you see, it’s working. Or you don’t believe so? - he grabbed it, twisted it from my hand then smashed it to the fence.

- Are you nuts? - I screamed. - Now it won’t work for sure! - When I wanted to pick it up, he tried to take it again from my hands, but I didn’t let him. - Let me go! - I was hell a lot angry with him, just what is he thinking? - but he didn’t release his grip and I had to make it free, and during the process I squeezed his wrist tightly. I heard his hand go crack. He started to scream out of pain, but I wasn’t sorry for him at all. I knew he is as he used to be, changed in no aspect. He was about to come at me, but I rushed back to the house, but then Lizz stood between us to put an end to it. I don’t know exactly what happened to me. I’ve never before felt this power inside me. Meanwhile father’s whole wrist became entirely swollen, he went to his car with a huff and stormed away. I didn’t care where to. - I don’t care! How somebody be like this? - I shouted at Lizz, but to be honest she was not to blame. - He’s not a bad person, just can’t handle his temper sometimes. - she was trying to protect him, but what should I have expected? - How can you live with him? Now, seriously! - Quite easily. - and she was watching the road that maybe father will come back to her, but nah, he won’t. - He won’t come back. - I said with a grimace. - It is possible. - she said silently. - So, he never acts like this with you? - Not really. - Well, that’s truly incredible. - Sometimes he makes a scene, but the secret is not to say a word to him those times and he will calm down on his own. - Strange, it really is. - I sighed. - Come, let’s get inside.

- Alright… - I saw her looking back on the road, but in vain. From my secret place I got a cigarette and lit it, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I haven’t had one for a long while and I know I shouldn’t. - Care for one? - I asked. - No, not now, thanks. - she was looking at me crest-fallen. - Maybe something to drink or eat? - No, nothing. - she was like someone feeling awkward due to the unfamiliar environment. She hasn’t been here many times. - Maybe some cocktail? It’s orange flavored. - Ok, maybe I could use some. - she smiled. - Here! Drink as much as you want to. - I put a full jug in front of her, it’s fortunate that mother had made some the evening before, it is her favorite as well. - Why was father looking for me by the way? - Yes… In a sense, because of me. - in her embarrassment she spilt some liquid on the table. - I’m sorry. - Nevermind, I’ll clean it up fast. - So, because of you? - Yes, because I wanted to ask you a favor. - And that’s why he was so upset? - Well, I think he has other problems which he doesn’t tell me, maybe because of all the hassle recently. - And what is that favor you want to ask? Feel free to tell.

- You know, you said you’d be glad to give me a hand in organizing the wedding. - Yes. - I agreed. - And I chose the dress we had selected together. But I have to move to another city… Because I can get it only there, I have to try it on and adjust it on me. - Of course! I’m glad to accompany you. - You know, Gilbert can’t come with me, he has some business to do, because he got the job and maybe that’s also the reason behind his quick temper. And I think he doesn’t feel like going with me either. - Yes, he’s not really the type to participate in such things. - by this time I was fully calm, I wasn’t angry anymore. - But… We’d have to set off tomorrow morning, quite early, because that’s the only way. The city is far away and we’d be back in the evening. - Tomorrow? A bit sooner than I thought. - It’s not good for you? - I saw she was in despair. - It is, it is! Tomorrow will be fine. - Oh, I’m so happy about this. You know I’m terribly sorry this whole thing went like this. - No problem, it’s not your fault. - When he calms down he will surely apologize, really, I have no idea why he has to act like this. - Sure… But I don’t think he will. - You’re in good shape, I must give it to you. - I was embarrassed, because I truly wasn’t expecting this. I was trying to explain it. - Probably it was an unfortunate move when he pulled his hand out.

- This day is ruined for good. - and she sipped into the cocktail. - Yes. Could have been much better. - I agreed. - Could you take me home by chance? - she asked humbly. - Sure! With pleasure. - Thanks, I really don’t think he’ll be back for me. We were talking for a bit more, Lizz drank like two other glasses, then we got into the car. But she realized that this car is not exactly as it was. - Did you change the seat covers? - she inquired and was looking at its pattern. - Yes! I didn’t really like it, I think this one’s much better. - I was totally red. - Ah! I agree. Suits you better. - she smiled at me. - I was relieved, I thought she will ask further questions regarding the matter. - I see you’re wearing lenses. This dark brown is very good! - Cheers! - I answered a bit embarrasses again. - We arrived home, but I didn’t get out, just stopped at the gate. - Here we are. But I won’t go in for sure. - I can understand that, but as it seems he’s not back yet. Who knows where he is… - Must have gone to his pals… Or he’s in the city. - and suddenly I ed the hunt. It completely slipped my mind, there are so many things swirling in my head. - Is father certain about going on the hunt? This weekend, right? - It was postponed to the next week. But why? - Just asking. - So I will have some time to find a way keeping him away from it. No matter how atrocious he was today, I don’t want him to be hurt. - You want to go with them? He invited me too, but I wouldn’t stand it.

- Oh, no! I won’t go, especially after today’s events. - Same here, poor animals. Anyway. I’ll go for you tomorrow morning at six. Believe me, we’ll have fun! - Alright. See you in the morning. Bye! - Bye Mad. Thanks for everything. I had a sour taste in my mouth because of this sudden invitation, this way the dinner with Christopher will come to nothing. If we get home late… Damn it. I went home, didn’t feel like going to Kathie’s, she might not be at home at all. But it’d be good to talk with her soon. While I was driving I received a message from mum. She wrote me not to wait for her in the evening, for she’s kept in due to the load of work they have right now. In a response I informed her that I’ll leave tomorrow morning with Lizz to try on a wedding dress and that she shouldn’t prepare for the dinner, we will postpone it to another date. Sure, she won’t be happy to read this, but I have already promised Lizz. At home I went to my room and set it in order; it was in dire need of it. Meanwhile I took the Bible in my hands again and wondered about the unknown sender. I had a gut feeling that Christopher knows… Just doesn’t want to tell me. Someone pushed the bell. I couldn’t even guess who it was. I descended the stairs and through the windows I could see that it was Kathie. - Hi Kathie! Come in! I’m a little surprised it’s you. - Hi Mad! I thought I would drop by again since I have no idea about what’s up with you lately. I have called you a number of times. - I’m so sorry! But things didn’t turn out as I want them. - I see. And how are you? - she asked neglectfully.

- I’m ok. You know I was also thinking about meeting you today, at your place or anywhere. - Well, here I am! - And you fancy anything? - I asked kindly. - No, thanks, nothing. And where did you disappear from the party? - Damn… Now I know why she’s so huffy. It went completely out of my mind. - I was looking for you a lot, and called you like a hundred of times. I learnt it on the next day from your mother that you were away somewhere with Christopher. And you know it really hurt me, I didn’t even know you’re together. - I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t sure and I don’t know, I rather kept everything to myself. - But why? I’d have been glad to hear you have a boyfriend finally. - Yes, but I can’t explain you this one. - And was he there in the party? Did you leave with him? You know how long I was looking for you? - Yes, I met him there and left with him, but I’m really sorry, I should have told you. I’m sorry, honestly… - I couldn’t tell him the truth that I was following Mason in my car… And that after I fell into a chasm. But lying didn’t feel well. Not one bit. - You know how worried I was? Don’t do this ever again! - I won’t! I promise. - Sometimes I feel we aren’t really friends anymore. It’s so strange. - But we are! Stop talking rubbish! Now everything is upside down, that’s all, but you can count on me. - You too. - she smiled. - I was really worried that something bad happened to you in the party. Ok, tell me about Christopher! I don’t know the first thing about

him! - I could see she was feeling better, luckily enough she could never hold a grudge against me or anyone else for long, but that’s something I was always happy about. - Oh Kathie… I don’t know. I think I love him, but it’s all so complicated. - And what does he want? - To be honest, I don’t know. I feel he loves me too, and he cares about me, but we don’t know each other very well. As if there was a door which I can open and then everything’s fine, but he always closes it and it feels like I have a door of the same kind. - So you want to say you are not honest with each other? - We are, but it’s odd. I can’t explain. - Mad! I’m very happy you’ve found someone you love and that’s the most important thing, and that he loves you too, and with time you’ll surely open these doors. - she smiled at me kindly. - Maybe you are right. I feel very pleasant with him. - Especially now that he has less secrets. Not that those things are any less incredible. But if I don’t think about them, only about Christopher, everything seems perfect. Suppose it exists, and I think it does. - And really don’t be angry with me for leaving the party… How was it by the way? - Excellent! Everyone was feeling great, or at least that’s what I saw. - Glad to hear that. - Oh, but guess what happened. - What? Tell me! - We are together with Taylor again! - Seriously? For real? Kathie, after he cheated on you, you said he’ll get no more chances.

- I know… - And you also said you don’t want to speak with him ever again. - Ok, I know, he was not invited to my party, but appeared as if it was natural and I honestly didn’t expect him to step in just like that. Moreover, I was planning to find someone in the party, someone from the summer camp. But then Taylor appeared and the memories resurfaced, only the good memories. And I realized how terribly I’m missing him and that I love him and he’s the only one I want to be with. - I don’t know, I’m happy when you are happy, and if that’s the case now, nothing else matters. - This is so complicated too. At first I was mad with him, but then I thought it over, how much he was working for reconciliation and how much he repented the whole of it. - Oh well, that’s true, it really is. You , I also told you to give him another chance; I was lobbying for him. - Yes! So now I gave him one and I truly hope he won’t slip up. - Me too. - I feel he loves me sincerely and it’s mutual. I’m so happy! We talked it all over and started with a clean slate. - So will you stay here? In Whitefish City? - Yes, back to the old plan: we stay here and work at my father’s place. It’ll be good! - Definitely! - And have you found out anything? What will you do? - Oh, not yet. - to be honest for all I care, it could be anything. What’s happening to me now is more than enough to make my hands full.

- No problem, you still have some time. - Yeah, of that, I have plenty… I hope… - All in all, it was a great party, and would have been even better with you there. Only one or two glasses broke, no other damage. - Good to hear that. - but in fact Christopher was in my mind and the fact that I must talk to him today. - Tomorrow there’s going to be a party at Sam’s, at their house on the waterside. Would you like to come? It would be so good if you asked Christopher too. - Tomorrow won’t cut it unfortunately. Lizz will try on her wedding dress and I promised to accompany her; it will be a full day program. It will be very late when we get home, I guess. - Oh, what a pity. It’d have been a pleasure to meet Christopher, but of course I understand. - You will have the chance later. - No problem, at least you’ll get more familiar with Lizz, won’t you? - Yes, of course. I have nothing against her, she’s absolutely decent. - And when is the great day? - At the end of August, it will be held in the hotel on the shore. - Wow, once I imagine my own wedding taking place there, it’s beautiful and the day is near. - Yes! - I let out a big sigh. - Pretty sure you can come. I’ll invite you. - Really? So good! And don’t you mind it? - Mind what, the wedding? - Yes, your father marrying again.

- Not at all. I’m very happy about it. Actually, it would be good for mother to have someone as well. - I couldn’t imagine my parents with someone else, but fortunately they are together. Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean that. - No worries! - Mad, look, I have to go now, I’m already late. But I’m glad we could meet and talk everything over. - Me too! Really. We hugged and I saw her out. After she left I called Christopher. He told me that if it’s urgent, I must go to the harbor because he will stay there for a while. Therefore I got into the car and drove there. It grew fully dark and the fog descended. I could barely see a thing. A guy was standing on the pier, I thought it was him. I called his name, but he didn’t turn around, so I approached; he was still standing with his back to me and stared into the distance. When I was next to him, I recognized him, it was Christopher indeed. I took his hand into mine, and I felt that something’s amiss. - What’s the matter? - I looked up at him, but he was still staring firmly to the distance. - Today I learnt something that affects you too. - What? - he turned to me and I suspected bad news. - Look! It’s about Nathan. I learnt who did it. Now it’s sure they were the Deciders. Exactly those who put an end to my mother’s life. When he uttered these words I was not surprised that the Deciders had done it, but the revelation that the same people are responsible for the two tragedies did surprise me. Tear started to gather in my eyes and in a slender voice I said: - Are you sure about that?

- Yes! A hundred percent. - Where do you know it from? - We found it out with Robert. Three or four of them were in the whole business. - And do you know why? - I wiped my eyes. - No. - he said furiously. - What will you do now? - We’ll find them. They will pay for everything. And what did happen to you? he asked but I could see the flame of vengeance in him, yet he was trying to be attentive. - Nothing really important; had a row with father. But it really isn’t… It’s not important. - What did you argue about? - Doesn’t matter! And tomorrow I have to go away with Lizz, she asked me. So much about the dinner, dang. - Where are you going? - and I felt he was about to throw a fit. - To Sandpoint! To try on a wedding dress, but I’m not in the mood of going anymore. - I don’t think it’s a good idea. - Why do you say that? - It’s not safe. Don’t go. - I can protect myself. - I insisted. - For how long will you go? - I saw he was getting more and more upset. - One day, we’ll be back by evening.

- And do you have to go? - Yes, I promised, but everything will be alright. - You shouldn’t go away. - he repeated. - Why? Is there something you’re not telling me? - No, there isn’t. - but I saw he was lying. - When you get there, give me a ring, no matter what. - Ok. That’ll be my first thing. - I’m sorry, but I have to go… - No problem, I’m used to it already. - he took both my hands and said he didn’t want to lose me and asked me to take care of myself. I was a bit afraid, but I have to get over it, not to be afraid of anything. He kissed me then saw me back to my car. All the way home I was thinking about their reason behind killing Nathan; simply I couldn’t let it go. I can’t figure it out and it’s getting on my nerves; it would be so good to have him here with me. I miss him.

Chapter 10

Next day morning it must have been very early, the sun wasn’t up yet; it was about dawn, but I heard some noises from the garden’s direction which woke me up. I was curious about its source so I went out and took a look. But I saw nothing or nobody. I noticed something on the swing-bed. I went closer and identified it as an envelope. A white envelope with my name on it. Inside there was an empty paper with one sentence in the middle: The story of creation. It gave me the creeps. I knew this one too, it was from the Bible. I took a look around again, but didn’t see anyone so I chose it wiser going back to the house. I was feeling worse and worse. What is this trying to imply? Who’s sending me things like that? It’s absurd. Then my phone rang; it was Lizz. - Hi Mad! You ready? - Hi! Ready? The sun is scarcely up, I don’t get your point. - Didn’t you get my message yesterday? - What message? - That I’m going to be at your house at 5 am. - I got no message. Damn, I can’t believe that this phone is never working properly. - How lucky I called you now. Can you get yourself ready quickly? - Yes, I’ll hurry. - Alright, I’ll be there soon. I had a shower and prepared for the road. I didn’t see the point in getting up so early, but the newest letter woke me up alright, so it’s fine. At 5 am sharp, Lizz was waiting for me at the gates; I was more or less ready, but it was likely that I leave something at home. Lizz was so fresh, as if getting-up early wouldn’t be an exertion for her at all.

It is not always like that for me either. - Come, come! Hurry! - she said. - Ok, I’m just putting my bag into the trunk. - But why did I put it there? It makes no sense, anyway, I got in and we set off. - And why do we have to depart this early? - I asked. - Because the travel time to Sandpoint is four hours, or could be even more, I don’t know exactly and we also have to come back… This way we are going to be there by the time the store opens and so we’ll have some time to look around the city when we’re finished. - It makes sense. - I’ve planned everything; we’re going to have dinner at a very nice, intimate restaurant and of course we’ll explore the city. - Sounds good. Will we stop for a coffee on the way? - I asked hopefully. - Sure! I know a very good place, it’s not far from here, there you can fill your energy tanks. - Oh, that’s great. - Have you ever been to Sandpoint? - No, never, I hope we won’t get lost. And you? - Nah, neither, but relax, we won’t go astray. - Yeah, I see the GPS. - Yes, it’s there, but not functioning since last week. But we have a map in the glove compartment. - Well, that will do. - I said. Lizz is driving quite well, I don’t know why father made remarks about it, although he always does, he thinks that only his doings are right. So typical.

- And how’s father? Have you talked to him? - I inquired. - Well, yes… I’ll tell you when we stop. - Why? Is it that brusque? - No, not that much, but I’m focusing on the road now. - Alright! - I coiled myself up as a caterpillar and I stared out of the window. The sun was fully up, at first it was even shining, but huge rain-clouds covered it now. I was wandering about how different everything was a month ago. I thought my biggest dilemma would be to choose from all the parties … Everything had to be like this for sure. That’s how I tend to calm myself. I believe in fate. I sent Christopher a message saying that we are off and everything’s fine. - I thought we’re going to have a nice weather, I even checked the forecast. yearned Lizz. - Well, yes, it look like it’s going to rain, but it won’t ruin our day, will it? - It won’t! But these forecasts, you can never trust them. - At least traffic is modest. - I was optimistic. - That’s for sure; almost noone’s on the road, but that’s not a problem. Can you see that rest-house in the distance? - her eyes sparkled. - I see something. They have some tasty coffee, let’s take a short break there. - This gladdened me; I couldn’t wait for my coffee. It resembled a tavern, and as we approached I saw that the place was rather worn-down and I made a remark about it. - Chill! Even though the building is ruined, it is still very good! - she encouraged me. - I believe that. - I smiled.

When we got there you could tell the place was under renovation. We sat down at the windows. I became terribly hungry. - Could I ask for a breakfast? - I asked Lizz humbly. - Of course, come one, you can ask whatever you want. - I would like to have a cheese burger and a cappuccino. - I felt a need in myself to eat such things, but otherwise I never eat anything of the kind. - The same for me. - said Lizz to the waitress. They served huge portions; my burger was around the size of my own head. - It’s delicious! - and I was stuffing it into myself as someone who has never eaten a thing. - You see? I told you it’s a great place. - And… Will you tell me how things went with father? - I was a bit curious about it. - Yes. His wrist was not broken, only dislocated and luckily enough he is righthanded. - she laughed which was a bit odd; I thought she will hold a grudge against me because of this case. - I thought you will throw a fit about it. - Me? Not at all. He should not have acted like that. By the way I discussed the scene with him and told him that what he had done was unacceptable. And he has to make a change in this respect really quickly. - I don’t know how big of an impact that will have on him. - He has already apologized. - Really? He has never done so to me or my mum, never in my life. This is very surprising. - He will surely apologize to you. Have you told your mother?

- No! We haven’t met. She came home late and I was already asleep. - But you told her about today’s program? - Yeah, I wrote her about it. But I won’t tell mum what happened with father, it’s pointless. Can I ask you something? - Anything. - But you won’t be offended, will you? - I won’t, go ahead. - So, do you really think that father is your match? - Yes! I know what you mean, but he has another face and I fell in love with that. I believe he can change even more. - I don’t know that side of his, but I’m glad you are happy beside him. That’s the only thing that matters. - Yes, that’s the most important, and I really am happy. But you know, I’m kind of worried about the wedding. I could convince my parents to come. - Convince? - I asked, and meanwhile I managed chow down the whole burger, I was about to burst open. It was too much. - Yes, you know, they live in Europe. - Really? I didn’t know that. So that’s where you grew up? - Yep. In South-, in a town near the seaside. I loved that place. - South-? I can’t believe that. I would like to get there once, nah, I would travel around Europe. - No wonder, there are beautiful places there. Each and every city is like a separate jewel-box. - And how did you end up in America?

- In fact, as a result of my job. I had to travel a lot. Then… I met your father and fell into love at once. But he was still living with you and so I thought he wouldn’t take it seriously. I mean, me, but then everything changed. - This way it sounds really nice. Had I not known father, I would say it is perfect as it is. - You are the first one I’ve told this. - her face turned red. - My God, if she says that… - I’ve made up my mind about our honeymoon’s location. - A huge stone fell off my chest; I don’t know what I would have done with the news of a coming little brother or sister. - Where do you want to go? What’s the plan? - I inquired eagerly. - meantime they brought the bill. - I considered inviting him to us! - You mean Europe? - my eyes gleamed. - Exactly! To my parents’ house. I’m a bit afraid he won’t like it though. - Yeah, I get it. - Since father hates travelling, I thought myself. - But he will like this one, I’m certain. I would feel over the clouds. It would be dazzling. What a great idea! - I’m hopeful he’ll come with me. I would show him the entire city, and the countryside, there are so many beautiful places around. Now, time to go, we have a long way ahead. It hasn’t started raining yet, but the enormous rain-clouds were above us. - Could you check the map? From this point on I don’t know the route by heart. - Sure thing. - I got it and tried to make some sense of it. - Go straight and then turn left. - Ok, Madison. Can’t wait to get there and try on that astonishing dress. - she was excited.

- I’m sure you’ll be beautiful in it! And how are the preparations going? - I’ve booked everything. Again, we’ll be in the hotel at the shore and as I calculated you can bring along like three people if you want to. - Christopher was my first idea, and Kathie of course, she will be very happy about it. And of course Nathan… Would have been good. - Alright, I’ll decide, but mostly I already know. Cheers! - It’s going to be great! - And will you invite mum? Or how is it going to be? - As common sense dictates, I invite her, I don’t want to have any arguments out of that. - I see, but I’m not sure she’d come. - Maybe you’re right. But I don’t want to offend her by not sending an invitation at all. Ah, only 10 km left, that’s not much. Rain started pouring from the skies. Thunder and lightning. The road was barely visible. Meanwhile I received a message from Christopher to call him at once when we arrive. On the one hand, it felt good, to know that he’s worrying about me, but on the other he scared me a bit. - Hooray! We have arrived! You see that baker’s over there? The store we are going to is right next to it. We parked the car in front of the shop. We had no umbrella and it was still raining we rushed into the shop. They have been waiting for us with champagne, this one I’ve never understood, I drank Lizz’s share, she didn’t want to drink at all. But it was extremely good. She tried on the dress we chose together. It fit her like a glove, any fixing or adjusting was unnecessary. It was dazzling indeed. Not too wavy, laced or fluffy, but it wasn’t overly simple either. Just an in-between, perfect! - How is it? - she asked happily.

- It’s fantastic! You look gorgeous! - I’m so happy, I love it! - the stylists all agreed, they loved it too. - I think father will love it on you as well, he won’t find the words when he sees you in it. - I hope so! - she laughed. They packed it into a huge, richly ornamented box which they put into yet another box because of the rain. Looking out of the store I could see the rain cease and the sky getting clearer. We got back into the car. - I have read about this city; it’s not too big. Are you hungry? Want to have a lunch somewhere? I know a lovely place. - she said. - Nah, I’m still full with the burger. - True, I’m not hungry either. Let’s go then to the park! I’ve read about a fantastic fountain at the end of the park. - Ok, I’m in. Could use some walk after the burger. – I laughed. Fortunately the sun was shining again, but you could still feel the scent of rain. The park was truly wonderful. Roses and other fragrant flowers (which I didn’t know) were everywhere. It had a nice feeling around. We have been walking for quite a while, maybe for an hour, but we weren’t at the end of it, in fact, we couldn’t see the fountain either. - What a huge park! – I was amused. - Yeah. It really is, I didn’t know that, but we are close to the fountain now. That place has some history, by the way. I read it’s around a hundred years old; it features a couple in the middle who meet anew after a very long time. They couldn’t forgive each other, but they couldn’t be together because of their families. Romantic, isn’t it? - It is. – I was feeling a bit tired. On the way a young guy was heading to our direction, he was in fully black

clothes which got my attention. He couldn’t take his eyes off me when he ed by and it made me feel sick. When I turned around, I saw him doing the same. Then suddenly I saw three more guys in black from tip to toe and they were gazing at me. And I felt sicker. It was like pressure that I felt on my chest. - They were quite the weird ones, weren’t they? – asked Lizz. - I thought only I noticed. – I replied. - No! They were staring at you, Mad. You might appeal to them. - Doesn’t matter. Luckily others were walking on the road now and I couldn’t see the guys. But I was still feeling sick. Finally we reached the fountain. - It’s wondrous! – Lizz rejoiced. – Look at all the details. And these two figures, this couple, what a touching scene! - It’s really amazing. – I agreed, but somehow I was more occupied with the guy who reappeared in the distance and was staring at us. I was getting afraid. - Are we going? – I asked Lizz. - Yeah, yeah. Only after a photo; stand near the fountain! – Fantastic, I don’t like photos of myself. But I knew that any attempt of resistance could just prolong our stay. - Say cheese! – she said. – It’s done. You’re beautiful. I don’t know what you have against your photos. You are photogenic. - I don’t know either, but it frustrates me. Can we go? - Sure. Are you hungry? - No, not yet, but I’m feeling a bit cold and left my coat in the car. – I had to make up something, these strange people annoyed me beyond measure. - We can go. - Is there another way back to the car? – I asked.

- There is, but we came in on the shortest. I can give you my pullover if you want to. - No need for it, I can bare it till the car. – meantime I called Christopher, it completely slipped my mind to give him a ring upon arrival. - Hi! - Hi Mad! Everything alright? - Yes, I forgot to call you from the salon. - Your voice is strange. Are you nervous? - A bit. We’ve come for a walk in a park and met some weird people. – I went ahead, farther from Lizz to make sure she wouldn’t hear what I was saying. - What people? Why were they weird? - Oh, it’s not that important. - Madison, it is very important! Tell me! – he was worked up. - Young guys who were looking at us, nothing peculiar, I have a bad feeling, but that’s all. - Where they completely in black? – this question made my stomach convulse. - Yes. But why? How do you know that? - Madison! Listen, get out of there immediately! - What? Why? Who are they? – I looked back and saw that Lizz was lagging behind and I saw one of the guys approaching her. - They are the Deciders! Get out of there, go to crowded places. - Wait! I’ll call you back. – I cut off and ran back to Lizz, but she was already talking with the guy. - Lizz! – I intervened. – Could you please hurry? I’m starting to have a stomach

ache and the medicine too was left in the car. – The guy said nothing when I got there, he was only looking at me but that look gave me shivers. - Of course, this kind young man returned me the keys of my car. Must have fallen out of my bag on the way. – Then I took another look at the guy; he was standing silently and on his hand I saw the sign; it was on his wrist. Right there I didn’t know what to do, I took Lizz’s hand and tried to pull her away, and when I turned around I saw a lot of people coming our way; it must have been a group of tourists. This was such a relief. We were lucky there. So I quickly drew Lizz and myself into the crowd. When I looked back the guy was no longer there. - Mad, relax. I couldn’t even say thanks to this kind person. - Not a problem, we had to go, I can’t bear it any longer. - We could perhaps ask for a painkiller from someone. - No need, there’re plenty in the car. – I was afraid, or that’s the feeling I could compare to what I felt that time. We got back to the car. Lizz was on the phone with father, and I called Christopher back, as chance would have it of course that wretched phone died again and I didn’t know his number by heart. Fantastic! When Lizz finished talking with dad, she got back to the car. - Mad! You’ll be angry with me. - Why? - We can’t stay here any longer, I have to go home to Gilbert, he wants to talk with me about something. - No worries! Didn’t he send me message? - No, but I’ll talk to him about you. - You don’t have to, that’s not why I’m asking; if he has nothing to say on his own, then don’t force it.

- But he should apologize! You sure you don’t mind going home earlier? It’s kind of late already, will be dark by the time we get back. - No problem, really. – On the contrary, I was happy to be safe as soon as possible. I turned my phone off and on again, and finally it worked. I told Christopher that it goes crazy at times, so he shouldn’t be surprised if I disconnect out of the blue. I also told him that everything’s alright, and we are on the way back, which made him happy. After the call Lizz was looking at me weirdly, which I didn’t understand. - Is something wrong? – I asked. - Were you talking with your boyfriend? – she asked not suspecting a thing. - Yeah, with him. - And who is he? I didn’t know you have one, although I suspected a little. - Well, not even us know how it is precisely. I love him and he loves me. It’ll play out, take shape. - I’m truly glad you’ve found someone. – Yeah, that one I’ve heard from many. I’m happy too, but if only things weren’t so complicated. I made no answer, just smiled at her and watched myself in the mirror. - What is this on your arm, Mad? – I twitched, she noticed the sign on my arm, I didn’t know how to react all of a sudden. - Relax, me too have a tattoo on my back, even though I would prefer not having it. – I was utterly relieved that she took it for a tattoo. - You don’t appear to be the type to have one. – I was trying to act as if it were a tattoo indeed on my body. - I was young, but I’ve long regretted. - And what does it feature?

- A butterfly. Ok, I know it’s cheap; I’ll surely make them take it off once. But I like yours a lot, what does it mean? - Uhmm, nothing, I just saw it in an album and really liked it. Don’t tell anyone about it, please. - Relax, I won’t! Won’t you take the medicine? – she asked doubting. - Nah, I took it when you were talking with dad on the phone. – I had to lie again. - Does it still hurt? - No, not that much. – I answered. - Maybe it hurts because you’ve only ate a burger today. - But I’m not hungry at all. - Maybe I am. I could do with a snack. Look! There’s a fast-food restaurant over there, I get something and will be back in a second. Sure you don’t need anything? - Sure! Thanks. - Ok, I’ll hurry. - I’d rather go with you. – Splitting up is not a good idea, who knows where the Deciders are and what they want from us. We paid for the food that Lizz had chosen and we were on the way again, or at least that’s what we wanted. It started raining heavily again and I was looking at the map, trying to find our way. - We’ve been going on for hours. This road doesn’t look familiar! – said Lizz in a worried tone. - Neither to me, but the map says we are on the right track. Wait, I’ll check it again where we are. - Alright.

- Hm… We might have turned on the wrong road at the last crossing. Yeah, it’s sure that we are at the wrong place. And this weather! I’m sorry. - Oh, it’s fine. We’ll manage. I’ll turn back where I can. - We don’t have to turn back, it’s ok if we go on and turn on the right at the next possibility, and then, theoretically, we’ll be back on the right path. – Or at least I really hoped. It was dark now and the road wasn’t lit at all. We saw nothing of where we’re heading to. Of course, this could have happened only to us. We were wandering for more than an hour when the road led us into a small town, or rather a village. It was desolate, the lights weren’t on anywhere. - Oh, good heavens. What should we do now, Mad? She was looking at me in despair. - Look! The simplest option is to ask someone. There’s a hotel over there, you see? Someone must be in it! – I was pointing ahead. - You’re right. – she took a deep breath and we turned off the road. - It is a dingy hotel or whatever it is. - Mad! You can say that again. Such a bizarre place! You can bet I would have avoided it, had I known. - Let’s go in! – it was still pouring cats and dogs, for some reason it didn’t want to stop now, it keeps raining and raining, with no break whatsoever. - God damn, it stinks. – said Lizz loudly when we entered through the door, and she held her nose. - Yeah, I feel it, it’s horrible. – I wouldn’t be able to compare that smell to anything, it was penetrating. - Hullo! – Lizz called at the reception. I was squeezing the water out of my hair meantime. – I hope we won’t catch a cold, we are both soaked to the bone.

- Good evening! – called a deep male voice from the dark. - Good evening! Excuse us for the nuisance, but we got lost and can’t make much sense of the map anymore. Could you help us? How could we get back on the main road? – when Lizz said all this, the old man stepped out of the dusk, but I wasn’t even surprised by his looks. That’s the kind of man I would imagine for a creepy place like this. - I’ll help you. – he answered; at least he looked decent. I took the map out and spread it in front of him on the counter. He was really helpful, explained us everything about where to go. This shows well that looks don’t matter. - By chance, would you consider taking one of our rooms for the night? We have plenty. – he asked us, but it wasn’t really a surprise to hear about all the empty rooms. - No, no, thank you. – Lizz objected. – You know, we are in a hurry, we want to get home today. - Yeah, I can understand, but it’s rare to see anyone coming in. – he smiled at us, but for some reason that smile gave me the creeps. - Thanks again for your help! Goodbye! – and we ran back to the car. - Well, we have some luck. We know where to go now. – I said with spirit, but Lizz wasn’t in a good mood, she must have wanted to be at home with father. – You want me drive? – I asked her. - No, I’ll drive, I’d have just preferred to get home in time. – she grieved. - But now we are on the right track now, father will surely understand that I misread the map. But maybe he will think I messed it up on purpose. - Oh no! It can happen to anyone, to get lost. – she hushed me. – He won’t blame you, believe me. Anyway, I’m glad we got out of that town, I didn’t really like it. - I agree with that. Luckily we got back on the main road; we were both relieved and even the rain stopped for the time being, only to let the fog descend. It’s getting better and

better, seriously. - So far hail avoided us. - I was kidding. - Yeah, we’ll be at home soon. - Right, just around three and a half hours. I didn’t want to annoy Lizz, but I was in a terrible need of going to the bathroom. - Lizz, would you mind stopping at the petrol station for a minute? - I asked humbled. - Not at all. There’ll be one within ten minutes, can you hold it? - Well, I’ll try. But look, there’s one! - I said loudly. - You are right. Ok, I’ll wait for you in the car. - Ok, should I bring you something? - Yes, something to drink, doesn’t matter what, here’s my wallet. - I’ll buy it; I’m back in a sec. I was hurrying as I could, because I saw a huge tourist bus in the parking lot and I didn’t want them all to get in front of me in the queue and I didn’t want to make Lizz wait too much. Two people were at the cashier. I took a look at my phone and I saw that Christopher had called me numerous times. While I was waiting, I sent him a message saying that we got lost, but solved the matter and we’re back on the right track. I saw that mother had called me twice as well, but I was next so I couldn’t call her back. Then I quickly ran back to the car. It was strange, because Lizz was not there. I guessed she had gone into the store and we must have eluded each other. However, she left the car open. I went back to the store, but I found her nowhere. I called her like five times, but she didn’t respond, so I sat into the car and waiting a couple of minutes for her, and I called her again and her phone was in the car. - Where the hell is she? - I asked myself. I was getting worried.

I went a bit farther, started to search for her in the parking lot, but she was nowhere. - I can’t believe it. I walked over to the bus with tourists and asked them if they had seen her, but the answer was no and I was really in despair then. She had not been sighted in the store either, she didn’t even go in, they said. I went back to my car and a young girl came to me and said she had seen Lizz with a young guy going there, and she pointed at the direction of the forest. You could see nothing because of the mist and the darkness. I asked if she was sure about that, and she perfectly described Lizz’s appearance and added that the guy was completely in black. At this point sickness came over me again. I didn’t know what to do. If anything happens to Lizz… I don’t even dare to think about it. I got a torch out of the bottom of my bag, because I ed that it had been left there not long ago. When I pulled it out, it fell between the two seats. This made me happy, I pulled it out and when I looked up on the front window I saw something written on it… How on earth could it get there? I got out and read it. “Are you brave enough?” was written on it. What is this supposed to mean? I went closer to the window, oh lord, is that blood? - I cried out. Was this written with blood? Countless things were swirling inside me, but I didn’t care. Fear didn’t excite me. I grabbed my torch and ran into the forest trying to illuminate the way ahead. It was freaking dark and very cold, I could see my breath in the air. - Lizz! Lizz? - I yelled her name as loud as I could. But no one answered, despair came over me again, I didn’t know whether I should go on or turn back. Here’s nothing. Here’s nobody. - I rather go back to the car! - I found this a better idea. I could barely see a thing; when I got back to the car, I faltered. - I won’t panic! Not now, I won’t! - I kept saying myself, but I could hardly

breathe. - Lizz didn’t come back to the car, I rushed inside the store and told them that my friend was lost and she was seen going away with a man, and I could find her nowhere. After this, those who were in the shop were trying to help me. They started searching for her. I called Christopher, but he didn’t pick it up. I tried it again and again, but in vain. I called father, but he didn’t pick it up either, moreover, he rejected. - But how could they help me? - Everyone in the parking lot was yelling Lizz’s name. Someone called the police, but they didn’t bother until the blood on the car was mentioned, so they were on the way. I was confused; I was standing still at the edge of the forest and was looking at the people. With a quick turn I dashed into the forest again. But I went farther on, ran as far as I could. It won’t happen again. I’ll find her. I stopped at a tree to draw a breath. Suddenly someone put his hand on my shoulders. I shrieked. Mason was standing behind me and quickly put his hand over my mouth. Then he said in a low voice: - Mad! Stay very quiet now, I’m taking my hand off, but be silent, ok? - I nodded and he took his hand off. - What are you doing here? - I asked. - You freaked me out! - I’m watching over you. - he replied. - What? But why? Where is Lizz? Do you know where she is? - Calm down! And I’ve told you already to be silent or they’ll hear us. - and he took a swift look around. - The Deciders? - I asked in despair. - Yes, they are here now. A lot of them. - They have Lizz? You hear me? Answer!

- Madison, we have to disappear now! - I’m not going anywhere! - I refused. - You’ll have to. - No! I’m not going anywhere without Lizz! - Oh, you will. - and he grabbed my arm tightly and started to drag me to the other direction, but I clutched a thick branch with my other hand. - I’m not going! I need to find Lizz! - I’ve found her already. - he told me severely. - Where is she? Is she alright? - I’ll show you. - he started to haul my arm again, but by that time I had known the truth, I let the branch go and went with him. I didn’t want to conceive what I suspected. - She’s fine, isn’t she? - tear was starting to appear in my eyes, although I didn’t want to cry, but my body couldn’t bear it anymore. He didn’t give me an answer. I had enough. I tore my arm out of his clutch and started to run in the other direction, where the Deciders were. - It can’t go on like this; they will pay for everything. Mason ran after me, much faster than I, he tackled me and I dropped on the ground with a painful bang. - Are you nuts? Let me go! - You are nuts, Mad! I told you there are plenty of them over there and neither you nor I would stand a chance. - I don’t care! I don’t fucking care! - Stop it! - he squeezed both my hands, but with such force that I thought it would break. - They killed Lizz. Right? Am I right? - and he was dragging me back on the

path. - Yes! - he told me in anger. I went silent. We were going for a few more minutes through bush and undergrowth. But then he suddenly stopped me. - Madison! Now you’ll see what they have done. I would tell you to prepare, but to this, it’s impossible. You wanted to know. - he stepped aside. I could see it. Never in my life have I seen a corpse or have ever been to a funeral. Never. I’ve never seen such a thing. But now I know it for sure that humans’ evil is infinite. Boundless. She was in three parts, they hung her on a tree. She was hanging there as some goods at the butcher’s. I had to vomit. I’ll never forget this. I don’t think I could have comprehended what I saw, it was more like feeling sensations. Rage, that was the strongest in me. Without Mason standing next to me I’d have went after them. - I’ll take revenge! I decided they’ll pay for everything. Everything. For the whole thing. - Madison! - told me Mason a bit loud. - But I was paralyzed again and no word could leave my mouth; I could only look at him. - Help me! We must take her off! - he commissioned. - What? Are you crazy? We can’t. - We can! We have no time for you to understand what happened, I believe it is rough now, but you must help me. - Why do we have to take her off? - If the police gets here and find her in this state, they won’t believe it was a wild animal. We can’t let that happen. We have to take her off. - I don’t care if the police will know. It’s time for them to do something against the Deciders.

- Madison! It’s not an option, and they couldn’t do anything against them to begin with. They have no chance. Only we have. - I conceded he was right, if it turns out, everyone will be in danger including us, which I didn’t want. I helped in taking her off. I will never forget it. It was horrible. We took off the body parts and put them on the ground. Mason was quick getting rid of the clues and pulled me away from that terrible scene. We had to hurry before anyone would have seen us. - Why didn’t they get me? Why not me? - I asked him. - Because they are playing around with you, they want you suffer. Killing you would put an end to your misery, nothing would hurt. - Why do they want me to suffer? Because I didn’t take their side? - Something like that. - Did they do the same with you? - but he didn’t answer this. - So will they kill everyone I like? - No! - Why are you so sure about that? - Because we won’t let that happen. All the others at home are taken care of. The reason behind me being here was the same: to watch over you; the only thing I didn’t expect, just like anyone else is that they would be here in such a big number. I couldn’t help it like this. - What should I do now? What will I tell the others? What will happen? - Look, we’ll get out of here soon, my car is over there, I will give you some clean clothes that are not gory. We go back to the patrol station and act as if we don’t know about anything. If anyone ask where you were, tell them you were looking for Lizz with me. - Is that the solution to all of this? - Currently, it is.

He opened the car, I quickly changed for a loose T-shirt, which was really too big for me, but at least it was clean, and then we went back to the parking lot. - You think the police will believe this? - I asked doubting. - Yes! When they find her they’ll think it must have been an attack by beasts. - Again? - Yes! You know how many attacks occur? - I don’t think they will fall for it. - They will, because this is the reasonably explanation, and they won’t investigate after things that are pointless or inexplicable. Plus we have a man inside the police who will help us. When we got back to the parking lot the police was there and I ed that someone wrote on my car with blood and that’s something we won’t smooth over. - Mason! They won’t believe this! There’s blood on my front glass and several people have seen it. - I’ve taken care of that long ago. - How? - You’ll see. You’re better not saying a word. Look how everything solves itself. We went over to the police. Gave them the clueless, as if suspecting nothing. But Mason was right, everything solved itself. The police quit the search; they saw no point in going into the dark forest. I made an act asking them how they can be like that and they should go and find Lizz right away. But there was no answer. They invented a story about Lizz running away with the guy she was seen with because she didn’t want to marry father. What a joke. Regarding the car, the police didn’t even believe what they saw. They were laughing at me. And I was trying to hold back my tears. They only said that what was on the glass is not blood, but ketchup. It’s surely a prank from someone. But

I knew it was blood and this ketchup business is only Mason’s doing… I was boiling with rage, was about to get on their throats for all their laughing. I knew the truth that Lizz had been murdered a long time ago, and they took me for a moron. But Mason took my hand, I looked at it and saw Lizz’s blood dry on it. I felt sick again, I felt faint. The police added that if she doesn’t turn up within 24 hours, I should go into the station and they will start the search. I saw on the people who gathered there, I saw it in their eyes that they took me for a hopeless fool who makes up things and wastes their time. That’s what I could read out from everyone’s eyes. - We have to go! Come, Madison! - called Mason, and he let my hand go. I said nothing, just followed him to the car. - It would be for the best to sleep at my place tonight and I’ll take you home tomorrow morning. This is the safest, since they are still close. Is this ok with you, Mad? - Yes. It’s ok. And Christopher, what’s up with him? - Christopher is somewhere else with Robert at the moment. - Where? I called him, but he didn’t pick it up. - He sent a message that he’ll seek you out tomorrow. - I found it odd that he didn’t pick it up or call me back. It would be good if he stood beside me now.

Chapter 11

When we got to Mason’s place, somehow it becalmed me. We went inside and a feeling emerged in me, as if I were at home, or something even better. - In case you need anything, tell me. – and he showed me the guest room. Windows were everywhere; they covered more of the room than the walls and the whole room was interfused by the scent of pine, which also filled me with a pleasant feeling. -Wait, Mason! Couldn’t you stay here a bit? To talk. – I didn’t want him to misunderstand the situation, but it would be so nice to talk with someone without keeping any secrets. - Sure! Of course I stay. – Now he was kind to me, so far he had been cold and kept away from me, but not now. I took a glance on my hands and they were still bloody. - I can give you some clean clothes; if you want to take a shower, the bathroom is on the right. – he suggested. - Thank you, that’d be nice. I don’t know, do you believe all this? - What do you mean? - This, what happened to us here. Does that really exist? – I was picking the sign on my arm. - You don’t have to think so much about this. You know there are so many things in the world we cannot explain. Not even through the attempts of giving scientific basis to them. When I was younger I was always thinking about the reason behind crying. What is it supposed to mean? We cry if something hurts, because we are sad. - No, that’s not fully correct. – I interrupted. – We also cry when we are very happy about something, or at least it happens once in a while. I can laughing so much that my tears were dropping from my eyes. - Yes, indeed, there are other occasions, but that’s not the point. It is that countless things exist in the world which cannot be explained. We accept it as it is, and that’s all. And now that’s what you should do.

- To accept all of this? - Exactly! I know what you’re thinking. But you will understand. - I have been told this a lot of times. Time will make everything better… I’m trying to believe in that, but at these times everything seems to be slow, but pain stays strong. But I’m doing my best. - Good! – and he smiled at me. – I feel sorry for Lizz, for everything that happened and you had to go through this. – But I didn’t feel that way. I didn’t feel sorry, not for a minute, unlike it had been with Nathan. Now it was only rage and vengeance inside me. Exclusively revenge. But this I kept secreted from him perfectly. I won’t tell anyone. But I’ll take revenge for Nathan and Lizz, and for everyone! - Can I be honest with you? – I asked. - Of course. - I’m afraid. I’m terrified that something bad will happen to my beloved ones. And I don’t know what to do. - Madison! You don’t have to be afraid because of this, we are watching over everyone now. - Christopher used to tell me the same and look how it turned out. - Yes, but that time we believed that you were the target and want to hurt directly you. We hadn’t expected what really happened, but now we know it and everything will be alright. - I really hope so. – But for some reason I couldn’t believe him, that’s one more reason to get rid of them in order to prevent anything like this happening again. They deserve it. – I don’t know how to tell father. – I sighed. - Look! Call him today and tell him you lost each other at the patrol station and you have no idea where she is. Tell them that you called the police too, and they are searching for her. And of course tell him you’re fine. - Father is not really bothered by my wellbeing.

- He surely is, believe me. Even though he doesn’t express it. But if you don’t tell him today what happened, all of it might turn out badly. - You are right. I’ll call him again. - Again? - Yes, I tried it once when I was in despair but he didn’t pick up. - Fine, try to focus on other things. You are safe here. By the way, I’m glad Christopher has found a girl like you. You know he’s like a brother to me. - Thank you! – Suddenly I didn’t know how to react, I blushed and felt my face burning. He left the room, but was back after a minute and gave me clean clothes, then left again. I gathered myself and first I called mother. I told her everything what had happened, of course, only what was permitted, but she didn’t really find the words upon hearing the news. - But you’re fine, right? – she was asking worried. - Yeah! Nothing to worry about. I’ll sleep over at one of my friend’s, but will go home tomorrow morning. – I was trying to make her calmer. - Fine. Tomorrow we’ll go to the police station no matter what, unless Lizz turns up till then. – But I knew she won’t. – Madison, don’t you think it possible that she left with that guy because she didn’t want to marry your father? - Mum! No! You think she would have left me there alone? - That’s true… - she agreed. - We just bought the wedding dress, you get it? - I hope she’s unharmed. Have you told your father? Perhaps it would be the best for him now to have us beside him. - I haven’t told him yet. I called you first. – but mother was silent. – Are you here? – I asked.

- Yes, I’m here. - I’ll call him in an instant. - Good, I’ll give a ring later. And see you in the morning! I’ll call the office and tell them I’m not going in tomorrow. - Ok. Bye, mum! - Bye! I got over this one more or less. Oh God if only I wouldn’t have to lie this much, but I have no choice. I never have. I swallowed my saliva and felt huge dumplings sliding down my throat. But I mustered my remaining forces again and called dad; we haven’t even talked since our argument. When he picked up the phone, I rattled off everything as if reading from some paper; I didn’t leave him time to interrupt. I went on with the story with no breaks. The only thing he asked was about the location where all this had happened. Where did Lizz disappear? And after I gave him an answer, he hung up. I had no idea what he was about to do. Will he search for her? I didn’t want him to find Lizz. I still felt enough love towards him, I didn’t want him to her like that. That would be horrible. I took a quick shower, washed off all the stain from myself, but I felt dirty even after. I put on the clothes Mason had given me and I ran down to him. I heard and smelt he was in the kitchen making some food. - I see the clothes fit! One of my girlfriends left them here. - They fit. - I’m making spaghetti for dinner, you have to eat something. - Fine… but. - I started nervously. - What’s the matter? Have you called your father?

- Yes! First I called mum, it was all fine with her, but father asked me about the exact location of her disappearance. - And did you tell him? - Damn, I realized no sooner the mistake I made. - Yes, unfortunately. I didn’t consider on the phone. - Wait! I’ll call our man in the police and tell him what happened. - I didn’t want to make trouble. I’m sorry. - Sit down, Mad! I’ll be back soon. As I was waiting for him on that cold chair, I was worried and everything was swirling inside me. Dad, Lizz… Christopher. Almost everyone. I noticed some blood on my nail. I went to the tap and started rubbing it as strong as I could. Mason returned, but I was still in the process of cleaning my nail. He turned off the tap. - Madison. What are you doing? You’ve rubbed your fingers all bloody. - he told me in a loud voice. - I saw it still dirty. - You only imagined. - And indeed, now I could clearly see my own blood flowing out. He took my hand and gave some rag to wipe it. - Calm down! - he went on. - Could you call him? - Yes! He said he’d settle everything. - How? - They are on the way with the other policemen. They will continue the search for Lizz and he knows where exactly she is, so he’s going to pretend to find her accidentally. - Shouldn’t we go there?

- No! We’re staying here as those who suspect nothing about the whole case. Would be a bit suspicious, we being there… - But I can’t sit here idle. - You’ll have to. Eat a bit, then go and get some rest; I still have some work to do. - You might be right. I forced myself to eat a couple of bites, but it didn’t feel good. I wasn’t hungry. Then I went back to my room, tried to sleep, but couldn’t. I was pacing to and fro in the room, I saw Mason talking to someone in the garden, the lamp outside was shining on them. But I couldn’t see the other person clearly because he was standing with his back to me and I couldn’t hear what they are talking about either. I called Christopher, I needed him, but he didn’t pick it up, again. I don’t know what time it was. I was about down. I got no sleep. I was working on my plan all the time. Revenge. Yes! I planned it for tomorrow evening. They will pay for everything. Later, when a good number of hours have ed, I went down to look for Mason with a request to take me home. He was in the garden by the time and was repairing the car, I could only see his legs under the car. - Good morning Mason! - I greeted him. - Hi Mad! Just a mo.. Yes, it’s done. - Something wrong with your car? - No! Fixed already. How was your night? - and he crawled up from under the car. - Not really good. But it’ll surely be better tonight. When are we going? - Whenever you want. - Could we go now? Only because I want to talk with mum the sooner the better and I don’t know anything about father.

- Of course we can go, but don’t you want to have a breakfast before? - No, thank you. - Alright, then get in. And we were on the way. The idea of being home soon made me feel comfortable. I felt that I’m going to solve everything in no time. - Have you learnt anything new? - I inquired full of curiosity. - Yes, Lizz was found and this one too was recorded as an attack of wild animals. So we are lucky, but… - What is it? - I don’t know how to tell you this. - Stop it Mason! What is it? - Your father really went to the scene last night and when he learnt what had happened, he went into a shock and currently he’s in a hospital. - Oh my God! Why didn’t you tell me last night? - I didn’t want to agitate you even more; I thought you might sleep better this way. - And how is he now? Don’t you know anything more about him? - A terrible feeling came over me, I felt guilty. - No, I don’t know anything else, but we are at your place soon. I was talking with Christopher this morning and told me he’d see you today. - Really? Happy to hear that. But it was a bit harsh from him not calling me back, but sending a message through Mason instead. I missed Christopher, maybe he’s not missing me? I had an unbearable qualm of conscience because of Lizz. But at the same time I felt incredibly strong, I felt rage and anger growing inside me and generating energy in my body.

- Thanks for all, Mason! It was nice of you. - I gladly did so. - I got out of the car, went inside the house and looked for my mum. - Mum! - I yelled. - I’m here. - and she was running down the stairs and flung her arms around my neck. - I’m so glad to see you unharmed. Come! Let’s go! - and she was opening the door. She was fully in black, so I instantly knew she had heard about Lizz. - Mum… - I said faintly. - We have to go to the hospital. - she was acting weird, must have been deranged, but no wonder. - Mum. - I repeated. - Dear, they have found Lizz. She died. I’m so sorry. I can’t even comprehend how this could have happened. Your father was there yesterday when they found her in the woods and he went into a shock; he was taken to the hospital. - her voice quavered and she started crying. - What happened to her? - I asked knowing the answer. - The same as with Nathan. It’s incredible, there’s no word for it, we won’t ever go near the forest. Another animal attack, unthinkable. - but I said nothing. - You know the police said that Lizz had gone into the forest because she didn’t find you at the petrol station. - What? That’s a lie! I was inside. - I believe you, but according to them she started searching for you and a young girl said you were inside the forest, so she went in. - I can’t believe that! - I had felt guilty for her death already but this further reinforced that. - It’s not your fault, Madison! I just wanted you to know the truth. But we have to hurry now!

I broke out in tears, couldn’t hold them any longer. But the reason was not what mother was thinking - I have long been aware of the death of Lizz. It was because of all the emotions accumulated inside me. Mother was trying to comfort me, but in vain. We arrived at the hospital. Father had to be taken to the psychiatric ward according to the head physician. He also told us that father was in bad shape, but we can see him. He was alone in a tiny room. He was lying on the bed with his back to us and the light shone upon him. With mother we stepped to his bed carefully. She looked at him with her eyes full of tears, but said nothing. It was fearsome. And I saw it. I saw father’s number. 15… I turned pale, I could see it in the mirror. I heard mother trying to talk with father, but he was just staring at us silently. I was about to swoon. I rushed out of the room, the hospital out to fresh air. Mother ran after me. - You ok Mad? What is it? Are you feeling sick? You need a doctor? - she asked. I just shook my head and we sat down on a bench close to the entrance. Mother sat close to me. She took my hand and I saw her tears dropping. - It’s too much for you. - and she was rubbing her eyes. - You mean dad? - And Nathan, and Lizz. You shouldn’t go through all these horrors so young. - I know, but this is life, isn’t it? We have no word in it, right? - Life… Yes. I can’t conceal it any longer from you, Mad. - she continued but her voice turned serious. - You must know the truth, as it is. Mostly I don’t speak about things like that or others where I’m at fault. - Mum, what are you talking about? – I was getting worried, I didn’t know what message she was about to convey. - You know, marrying someone young and then divorcing wasn’t part of my

plan. I know that’s not how things should have turned out. I’ve made lots of mistakes. I also know that I quit this marriage too late and so you had to go through numerous bad things because of me. - Mum! Never mind that. – I interrupted. – That’s the past. - Wait! Let me finish. I should have divorced him earlier. Six years ago your father was diagnosed with cancer. I used to tell him to attend the regular, annual visits and controls, but he paid no attention to it just as in many other cases. – I was paralyzed, I couldn’t believe my ears. This was really over the top, I could do nothing but stare at mum with tears in my eyes, as she went on. - The tumor found in his stomach was not malignant, but he has been operated multiple times. Those were successful. - Why haven’t you told me this? Why? - Because your father didn’t want you to know. I’d have preferred discussing it together; maybe your relationship wouldn’t be like this now. - I don’t get it! You really should have told me this! - He didn’t want you to feel sorry for him. Mad, your father, in spite of having a bad temper, is a good man. And you know I was truly glad when he found Lizz. I mean it. However, a couple of weeks ago he called me saying he must be operated again. And in this matter, just as in the past, I stood beside him. - So Lizz didn’t know about this either? – I asked with my eyes still full of tears. - No! Only I knew, no one else. He didn’t even want to tell his parents. And now with the tragic death of Lizz I can no longer hold this burden inside myself. - But what about the last operation, how was it? - Unsuccessful, it must be repeated. – and tears started dropping from mother’s eyes as well. - Oh my God. - I need you Mad! But not the whining for not telling you all this earlier, there’s

no time for it now. - Mum… I’m here. I’ll be here, next to you all along in this matter. – I was dead serious about this. – And what now? - I considered consulting the doctor and asking him to let your father out and so we will care for him at home. We could move back to our old house, but only until your father feels better. – But I have already known this won’t get any better, I mean, I was trying to comprehend it. - And when will the next operation be? - Three weeks from now. That’s why it would be better for him not to spend this period here, but with us. - Alright! Sounds like a good plan. – As I looked at mother there, all, but really all of the grudges I had ever felt against father ceased. For some reason I felt no loathing or hatred. He really needs us, our place is next to him right now. - Don’t be angry with me Mad! It was a very difficult decision, you know, to leave you out of this, to leave everybody out of this. - I understand, mum, and yes, I stand on your part even when it comes to moving back to father. – I could see on her how glad she was to hear this, something good among all the rest. We hugged and went back to the hospital. Mum was off to speak with the doctors and meanwhile I sat down in the waiting room. Then came Dr. Hard, the doctor who treated me last time. He came over and sat down next to me. - Hi Madison! – he greeted me kindly, but honestly, I got the creeps for no reason. - Good day! – with a big gulp I said and tried to be kind. - Is something wrong? – he inquired. - No. Nothing. - Then what are you doing here? Noone is here out of fun.

- Oh, of course. I’m here because of father. - What happened to him? You see we have many patients now and I can’t keep all of them in my mind. – he excused himself. - He went into a shock and is being kept here for some days. - Related to the bear attack? Was his wife the one attacked? - Not his wife, but his girlfriend. But yes, unfortunately. - Recently it’s quite often… The hunting took place not that long ago, but they found nothing. This new attack came as a shock for everyone. - The hunting completely slipped my mind, but father didn’t participate in it, by the way. – You mean they found no bear? - No. Nothing. I heard it’s going to be repeated. My condolences for your father’s girlfriend. - Thank you. – and I bowed my head. - And how’s your hand? Show me. – and I held it out. – Oh, it has healed nicely, there’s not even a seam left. – I didn’t mind it now, not at all. - And your head? Still hurts? - Sometimes, but I’ve got used to it. I can endure it. - And the sign on your arm, that mark, is it gone? – All of this was so strange, as if this was the reason behind all this conversation. But according to Christopher he knows , and he’s with us, yet acts ignorant. - Yes, it’s gone, must have bruised it. – I lied to him; this doctor was so strange, never straightforward with me, so why should I with him? - I see. – he said in a serious tone, but we both knew the truth. - Thanks. - What are you thankful for?

- For asking how I am. - It’s a given; I have to hurry now, but I promise I’ll see Mr. Gilbert. He’ll be fine. – he got up and darted off. I always felt so strange to talk with him, didn’t even tell him father’s name. – How did he know? – must have heard from somewhere. Thank goodness, mother arrived. - Success? - Yes! I settled everything, he’s going to be held in for a few days to keep an eye on him, but after that he can come home with us. - That’s good to hear. – I don’t know how to hint or what I should do, how could I tell mother that father’s going to die within fifteen days? That’s not something I can comprehend. I’m sick to think of it already. - Come, Mad! Le’s go! – mother told me, but she was terribly upset, and so was I. - Are we going home? – we were hurrying to the car. - Not yet. I was just called to go back into the police station again. - Oh my God… I can’t believe it. - We have to, we will get over it quickly. –but I’ll be there this time. - Alright. - And I’ll call grandpa later, would be nice to have them here. They are much needed. - It would be nice to meet them, but they don’t know about father, right? - They don’t. I have to tell them. That’ll be nice. – In the meantime I received a message from Kathie, she sent her condolences and asked me to call her when I feel like it. It was kind of her, but now I had to focus on other things.

The burning wrath what I felt towards the Deciders didn’t fade inside me. And I really wanted to talk and meet with Christopher already. I was also annoyed by the fact that he didn’t try to me. If I were with him now, it would be all easier, all would be different, I believe. Even what’s bad gets better next to him. We were almost at the police, but I had absolutely no humor going in. - Mum! I don’t want to talk to them. - I know, my dear. I bet you don’t, but we’ll settle it quickly, just a few minutes. - Oh, dang. Is this hail? – I asked in despair, although, I knew the answer; it came in the best of times. - How I hate rain! I have had enough of this city. It would be best to leave it. – said mother angrily. - What? Where to? – I asked, but got no answer. We turned down at the police station; you could see from the outside that it was pretty busy, something totally different, some disturbing events must have taken place. We entered, but there was a truly big mess. Everyone was running up and down. We asked someone what had happened and we were told that one of the downtown storehouses was on fire. Then the inspector discovered us. Matthew Dunn, if I correctly. He made us sit down in a room. I took a look around and noticed this was the same room as the last time. - Madison Moore. Correct? – he asked me. - Yes. And she’s my mother. - Shannon Faye. – mother introduced herself. - Greetings! – he said kindly. – Well, we meet again, though I guess you’re not delighted by that. - I’m not. – I answered.

- Mrs. Faye? - Miss Faye. – she corrected. She always hated to be taken for a Mrs. - Could you please leave the room so that I can talk with your daughter? - No! I prefer staying. – she revolted against the request. - I would also prefer her staying. – I added. - I’m sorry, but that’s the rule. – the inspector insisted. I saw mother didn’t really like that and was about to throw a fit. - Alright! Mum, don’t worry, just go out, it’ll be alright. – I said. - Ok. – she left and slammed the door behind herself. - So… Madison. – the inspector started and his voice grew more serious, but I didn’t give in to that, not this time. – Could you please tell me the exact circumstances and happenings of the night when another attack of beasts occurred, resulting in the death of an acquaintance of yours. - Yes. Lizz… She was the intended of my father. They were planning to get married at the end of summer. – At this point tear gathered in my eyes because I recalled how happy they could have been and how everything has changed. But I must stay strong. I took a deep breath and continued. – I accompanied her to Sandpoint City to buy the wedding dress for her. When we were done, we set off for home, but got lost, somewhat, but it was all fine, we were going home on a different route. But I had to go the restroom so we stopped at a patrol station. I went in and Lizz stayed in the car. When I returned I found her nowhere. – he was taking notes of everything I was saying. - Then you called the police, correct? - Yes, because I was getting worried, she’s not in the habit of leaving me alone without a word and somebody told me she had been seen going into the forest with a guy, which I didn’t understand. - You know, it is quite odd; do you suspect why she would have gone into the forest with someone else?

- No. - You know, we think the two of you went by each other. It might also be possible that the boy said he had seen you going in the forest, so she followed… - but he didn’t finish the sentence. - And do you have any ideas who the boy can be? – I asked. - No. We are yet to figure it out. - Don’t you think, by chance that this boy has something to do with Lizz’s death? - No, I don’t. Not at all. He might be made up for all we know. We are certain that Lizz… has become victim of an attack of bears. - I see. – I didn’t feel like arguing. Let him believe whatever he wants, I know the truth. He asked me a few more questions, but it took much longer than I expected so I got tired in answering them, especially since I had to focus on lying well, lest things would get suspicious. I went out of the room, to the place my mum was and I saw she could hardly wait to leave this place. I couldn’t believe I was finally out. - Let’s go home. – I told mum relieved. - I’m in. But how did it go? You were in for long, was it alright? - Yes, it was fine. He asked like a hundred questions, but they don’t know anything specific either, only what we do, that is, it was an attack of bears. - So horrible! I still can’t believe what happened. - Mum, believe me, I can’t get over it either. When we got home I fell to sleep as someone who has not slept a single minute for weeks. Getting some rest felt really good now. When I took a glance at the clock I saw I’d not slept more than a couple of hours, yet I felt fully recharged. Mum ordered pizza, but somehow I didn’t feel like it.

Chapter 12

Later, Christopher sent me a message; I didn’t really expect him to me today. He wrote he’ll be at our house soon. This made me glad, but I’d have preferred meeting him earlier during the day. I revised all the things I am going to do in the evening. I planned it all, I’m going to take revenge. Tonight will be perfect. - Madison! – mother cried. – Christopher is here! – I was getting nervous. I looked into the mirror and felt awful, so I made an attempt to fix my face. When I was going down the stairs, mum was offering Christopher some spirits, but he refused. - Mum! Not everyone is a drinker. – I mocked. - Come on. Sure you don’t want to have some? - Sure. – said Christopher kindly; it was so good to hear his voice, I had been missing it a lot. - Come, let’s go upstairs. – I took his hand and led him up the stairs. When we stepped into the room he embraced me tightly, which caused an indescribable feeling emerge in me, everything turned so good, suddenly, my dark ideas vanished and I felt happy. - I missed you very much. – I said in a low voice. - You too, a lot. And I want to apologize for everything, for not being able to be with you in hardness. I sent Mason after the two of you for the sake of safety, but no one expected this. My condolences. - Thank you. But why didn’t you call me back? - I wanted to talk everything over in person. - Have you learnt who did this to Lizz? - Yes, we have found it out with Robert, they were the same as in Nathan’s and my mother’s case.

- Those who live in the forest? - Yes, Mad. But you are not considering anything stupid, right? - No. – I lied, but he believed, I was getting better in it. I knew he believed me. - We, with Mason, will do everything to make them pay. Believe me. – I believed him, but unlike them I won’t wait for the appropriate time. - I have trust in you. In the two of you. - I responded. - I just cannot understand why they are doing this. Why do they want me to suffer? What’s the point? Why are they playing around with me? What do they want from me? - Nothing, Mad. Simply it invigorates them to see someone suffering; they gain energy from such a sight that shows how much pain they are able to cause. - This is so impalpable. And who’s next? - Noone! You hear me, Mad? Noone! It’s over. I’m here and everything will be alright. - Do you have a plan? - Yes, we were away with Robert for so long, because we sought out the other of the Protectors. Now we have enough in of numbers against them. - And will you kill them now? - Yes. But I’m aware of your opinion in this matter. - No. That’s also what I find correct now. I don’t mind it anymore. I want the same now. - Are you sure about this? - meanwhile he grabbed my hand firmly and I looked upon him, looked into those blue eyes of his and I said in a determined voice that sure, that’s what I want. - You see, I told you that you’ll see things differently as time goes and their true nature is revealed to you. Of course I didn’t want you to pay such a high price

for this revelation. Anything else happened? - Mason was very kind, really. But father’s in a bad shape now because of the loss of Lizz. - Yes, it’s understandable. - I saw his number… - my eyes went watery. - I’m sorry. - Did you know it was going to appear? - No. I didn’t suspect that. - but it seemed to me he was lying. - 15… You get it? 15! What am I supposed to do now? - You know the thing. You have to make these days better but without telling anyone a word. You know that he must be protected from himself, you know what I mean, it must be a horrible feeling now and maybe he’s even considering suicide. You have to prevent that. - But I don’t know how to do it; I can’t even tell mum. She came up with the idea to move back to father for a short while due to his present condition. - Then there’s the chance for you to do something. Be kind and permissive with him, and try to forget all the bad things you have received from him. - I’m incapable of doing do, I can’t comprehend it’s only 15 days left. Mother told me that he was diagnosed with stomach cancer and had been operated multiple times. - This explains the low number. - Yes. I know. It’d be so good to go back in time to where I was half a year ago. - I disagree. You know I believe that all things have an underlying purpose and reason. - I’ve believed in the same thing up until now, but looking at my current life, it’s full of tragic things, it’s so confused. I don’t know where this is going. Or what’s

the reason or moral behind all this? - You’re feeling this way Mad because it all happened all of a sudden and it was too much for you, so I can completely understand why you are thinking about it like this. I had a lot more time when the same was going and I could see the picture in one piece. Again, the only thing I can say is that it’s going to be time that settles everything. - I truly hope so. You know, you are the best thing in my life right now. - When I uttered this, he kissed me. It’s so good now. Now I feel as if everything would be different with him. At least for these couple of moments. At least for a little while. But the taste of revenge was not gone. It was with me, as a shadow; I could feel it following me. - Christopher! And do you when you are going to strike? - Yes. We’ll finish all of it this week. We are still waiting for two Protectors to arrive, then… - I’m going with you. - Madison… - he looked at me as if I was a man. - I want to go. - I insisted. - No! It’s very dangerous. - I don’t mind. I’m into it. So I’ll be there with you. - Madison! No. I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want to lose you. You are too precious to me. - You are precious to me as well, but I feel I have to go with you. - I knew he won’t let me do so; he wanted to leave me out of it. This ultimately strengthened my resolution not to tell him or anyone else. I will go on my own tonight. I’ll seek them out tonight and do what I have to do. And no one can prevent me from doing so. I promise you, Nathan and Lizz. - I’ll tell you what happened, but I really don’t want you to come with us. I hope you can understand.

- Yes, I can understand. No problem. I just want to know why they are picking on me like this, ok, you’ve said there’s no reason to it, but perhaps there is. - Fine, if I learn anything, I’ll tell you. And how are you sleeping these days? and he neatened the lock of hair hanging in front of my eye. - Do I look that terrible? - I laughed. - No! Not at all. You are beautiful. I was simply interested. - Rather badly. Now, before you came I could get some sleep, but it’s pretty bad otherwise. - And do you have dreams? - Yes, although I don’t really them. They are always so troubled, as everything else now. I have quite gloomy dreams, or I don’t know how I shall put it, and I also have a recurrent dream. Odd… - It interests me, really. What recurrent dreams do you have? - I always see a place, an opening, a huge estate then a vast number of black and red roses appear and cover everything over the place. Not far from the estate there’s a huge castle, or a palace, rather. But I can see it from the outside, the door is open though, but everything inside is dark. Damn, what a stupid story. Nevermind. - I laughed in embarrassment. - No, it’s not stupid, not at all. Do you often dream of that place? - Yes, quite often these days. Must be a sign of madness. But why are you so interested in it? - I was simply curious. When I transformed, when the sign appeared on me, I had recurring dreams as well, but all of them were nightmares. - Hopefully they won’t turn into nightmares for me. Who knows… - Oh, they won’t. - he smiled at me. I laid back on the bed, down on the giant pillows and Christopher lied beside me;

we were staring at the ceiling together where I used to stick photos. A lot of photos. - Have you put a pic of every city up there? - No, of only those I want to visit some day. In Europe there are numerous cities I would like to see. Paris, London, I’d go to all the capitals, to the beaches; I’d travel around the continent. - I laughed. - Wouldn’t you? - I have been to Europe for a few times. - Are you serious? - with sparkling eyes I turned to him. - And where have you been? - I have been to Paris more than once. My aunt lives there. - And how was it? As beautiful as on the photos? - I think it’s a lot nicer in real life. There are a good number of places that tourists don’t know about and so to say it is not exposed to them, they don’t really know them. It is a truly wonderful place. - Oh my God, good for you. - I’ll take you there once. I promise. - Oh, it’d be so good to see all of that. - I daydreamed. We were lying there on the bed, I closed my eyes and Christopher put his arm around me, and I fell asleep. I had the same dream again, the same picture was in front of me, the castle. But this time I could see it from the inside as well, where it used to be dark. The curtains were red, I saw myself from the outside standing at the door and wanting to step in, onto the dark blue carpet. Enormous stairs were facing me, and above, a huge chandelier with countless little crystals hanging down from it. But nothing else was there, no furniture, it was like a bug dance hall, or at least I had a feeling like that. But I was standing at the door only and when I tried to enter, somebody grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back, as if trying to protect me from going in, where something bad might happen to me.

- Mad! Madison! Are you alright? - Christopher woke me up. - What happened? - suddenly I didn’t even know where I was. - You slept a bit then started yelling in your dreams. - Really? That’s strange, no conversation was in my dream. - I sat up in the bed, squeezed my pillow and saw blood dripping from my nose, right onto my favorite white pillows which was a present from Nathan. - Damn it! - I held my hand under my nose. - Wait, I’ll give you a tissue. Here. - Cheers. Oh, it smeared the pillow. - I wiped it off quickly, but it was too late. How can I be so clumsy? - Oh, you’re not. However your nose is bleeding quite often recently. - Yeah, that’s true. You see how clumsy I am? Look at me. - You’re not. You’re only silly. - Silly? - Yep. - but he was smiling meanwhile. - That’s even better! - I laughed. - Do you feel better? Shall I bring you something? - Yes, some water please, it’s on the table. - Here you go, anything else? - No, thanks. - And what did you dream about? - The same again. The whole of it is pointless, I don’t get why I’m always dreaming about this place.

- Isn’t the place familiar from somewhere? The castle? - No, I don’t think I have seen it before, but I could get a short glance at the inside. But again, it’s totally pointless. Was your dream meaningful? - Not really. But yours might be. - I doubt it. And when did it go away, I mean, when did you start having new dreams? - It wasn’t long lasting, occurred only a couple of times. - Hmm, some whiskey your mother was offering might come handy now. - we laughed. Mason called Christopher on the phone. When it was over he looked really nervous; I didn’t hear what they had been talking about, because he had left the room, and now he was just pacing to and fro with his hands on his head. - What’s the matter? - I asked. - Nothing. - he answered in an off-handish manner. - I see there is something. What happened? - I raised from the bed and went to him. - Did Mason tell you something? Bad news? - I went on. - Madison, nothing’s wrong. - and he pushed me away slightly. - Why won’t you tell me? I always keep you informed about my things. Don’t you trust me? - I do! But don’t want you to know about this. - Why? - I raised my voice. - Because knowing it might get you in trouble. And that’s not something I want. - Christopher! I won’t take that. Me knowing won’t do any harm. - You sure you don’t know about the place in your dreams? - What does is have to do with that? How come?

- It would be important if you knew. - I saw it in his eyes that it was something serious, but I had no clue what was going on. - No! I really don’t know where it is. I’ve already told you all I saw. - In case you learn more, tell me, no matter what! - Just what is that place? Why do I dream of it? - It is possible that the castle you dream of is the headquarters of the Deciders, and if we knew its location, we could dispatch all of them. - I don’t think that what I see in my dreams is related to that in any ways. - I think otherwise. You know, your description of the place, the castle and the roses perfectly corresponds to the Deciders’ headquarters. - How do you know that? - There’s a painting we have found with Robert, that’s how. We’ve been aware that they dwell in that place; all the important Deciders are there, but we are yet to learn the exact location. - That’s crazy. And why do I dream of that place? - I don’t know, but this can answer what you still don’t understand. - I don’t get it. - You didn’t understand why the Deciders are torturing you, why they are playing around with you, maybe they know something about you suspecting their whereabouts and that’s why they are doing all this. - Then why haven’t they killed me yet? If I am such a threat. Then why do they hurt my beloved ones? - I have no idea. Mad, it would be great to learn where that place is. - Fine, of course, if I dream of it again, I’ll tell you at once. - I didn’t want you to know, it might have been better not telling you.

- That way I can’t help you. As I recollect it, it is surely not in a forest as you‘ve said; it is a huge estate, but there are no dense pine forests surrounding it. - Yes, we suspected so. The one I told you about is in the forest, but only a few of them are in it, and we need to get into the headquarters. - And why don’t you make them tell you its location? That’d be easier. Right? - That’s exactly why Mason called; they agreed with the Protectors to launch a coordinated attack against the headquarters, because we have to see the last of them there, and anyway, the other Deciders would never tell us any information regarding their center; they would rather commit suicide. - But Christopher, I really don’t know where that place is. - I was starting to feel embarrassed, unable to help. - Don’t worry. We are trying to find it out in the meantime. - I’ll try to sleep more, somehow. - After I said this, he embraced and kissed me, but I didn’t feel better, my mind was going on about what I should do. - However, you can’t tell anyone about this. Perhaps the Deciders don’t even know about your dreams, so you have to keep it secreted. Talking about it might lead to peril. - he warned. - I won’t tell anyone. I promise. - Alright, calm down, I’ll look after you. - he hugged me and whispered into my ear not to be angry with him for pushing me a bit, but he’s so worried about me. - I have to go now, I have to meet Mason. - and he was as kind to me as upon his arrival. - Fine. When will we meet next? - I’ll call you tomorrow and discuss it. And regarding your father, you know your job. - Yes. - I sighed. - I’m glad you came, it was so good to be with you today. - and he hugged and kissed me again. I saw him out but mother was there by that time.

- And you Christopher? Going already? - she asked in a surprise. - Yes, I have to go. - he replied kindly. - But feel free to sleep here! I don’t mind. - I turned fully red, how embarrassing, I was looking at mother with bulging eyes. - No, not now, thank you. I’m really in a hurry. - he replied courteously. When he was gone I told mum it was a bit awkward. - Don’t be angry with me, it just slipped off my tongue. - Ok, doesn’t matter. Mum, maybe you shouldn’t drink more. She reeked of alcohol. - I must drink now. - she responded in an angry voice; I was worrying about her. - When will they let father come home exactly? - Two days from now; before that I’ll go over and pack Lizz’s things so that it won’t trouble him, and I’ll clean the house. - I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. He might want everything stay as it was. - You might be right. After all, perhaps it would be better for him to come here; then no alterations are needed. - That’s a good idea. - I told your grandparents how are things now and they are coming soon. They were distressed by the news and by the time your father comes home from the hospital, they will be here. - Happy to hear that, it’ll surely do some good for father to have them here. - I’m hoping the same. Madison, I’ve wanted to ask it for a while, but was your car found? - Yes, thank goodness the police found it. - I fabricated a white lie again.

- Finally, some pleasant news. - Indeed, but I’m very tired, I’m off to sleep. - Alright, good night! - You too! And don’t drink anymore. My head was chiding. I called Kathie, talked a little, she was very kind and worried this time again. But I had no time to meet her, I had to focus on other things now, on my day. I was thinking about the dream, trying to , but unfortunately I couldn’t see it. It was so annoying, not being able to help. I thought my plan over, maybe I should go to their headquarters too, but in order to do so, I need more sleep to see more. I dismissed this idea, and decided that no matter what, tonight I’ll go to the house Christopher had mentioned before. I lied down on the bed and started looking at the photos again. I imagined how fantastic it’d be travelling to Paris with Christopher, and what beautiful places we would see. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. I had the same dream, but I tried to concentrate and control it. I was struggling to look at the place from afar and this way I saw a huge cemetery where red and black roses were, just like near the castle. They entangled almost all the graves and stone monuments. It was beautiful. Then I was at the house again and tried to enter through the door, but somebody pulled me back. This time, I saw who it was. Nathan. Then suddenly I woke up. I wiped my nose since it started to bleed again. I quickly called Christopher and told him everything from my dream. I don’t know why I keep dreaming of this place, but hopefully I could be of help. Perhaps it will be easier to find now, if it exists at all. I didn’t want mother to know that I was not at home, else she would keep asking where I’m going. So I carefully, silently sneaked down the stairs and left the house; luckily she didn’t notice. For a moment I stopped at my car with the urge to get in, but mother would definitely notice that, so I had to walk even if the road takes more than an hour.

It was full moon. Shed its light everywhere so I could perfectly see the road even where were no lamps around. I got to the lake quickly, somehow time flew away. In all of my body I felt wrath which has to break the surface. But not the kind of wrath and anger which consumes, but rather it fed me and soon it’ll break out of me and free my entire body and soul. Everything I have, and then, it’ll be so good. The lake beautifully reflected the light of the lamps and the moon; I’ve never before seen it so nice. Some of the houses on the waterside were lit by lanterns, and I ed that this is the place where Lizz had imagined the wedding; it could have been beautiful. I looked up at the sky where the stars were shining. - I hope you’re at a better place, Lizz! - I whispered. I stared into the dense, black pine-land and felt that I had to hurry. I started to move faster. Faster and faster, I started to run. I knew I had to go deeper, a lot deeper. Once mother told me about an estate which is in the forest and based on her description it was totally identical with the one Christopher told me about, so I could suspect where it could be. I was thinking of Nathan and Lizz to boost my energy. I was running like a chased game with tons of hunters in her wake. I stopped for there was a narrow chasm in front of me, and I tried to leap over it. I ran up to it and leaped into the air over the deep, but I slipped and almost fell into it; I don’t know how deep it was because it was very dark down there. Fortunately I could help myself back on some roots. When I dragged myself up, I heard some faint noise. As if someone was there. I was peeping from behind an old, wide tree searching for someone else. But noone was around. I heard the hoots of owls. So I went on. A lot farther. Nowhere a house or anything and I was getting worried if I had chosen the right direction at all. But then in the distance I saw a small light flicker, resembling the lights being turned on and off. I dashed towards the source. I could feel I found them. And nothing can stop me now. Nothing and nobody. I climbed the small mountain which was not small at all, only looked so from afar. It was full of rocks which provided easy handholds and on my way upwards

tiny pieces of rocks were falling into the deep and I was afraid that someone would hear that or I would fell down too. I was trying to climb more carefully, I was doing my best. But then I suddenly lost my footing and almost fell down into the abyss. I was holding myself with one arm only, the other one I couldn’t use to myself. I was trying to climb up, but I couldn’t, and I could barely hold myself. - My God, help me! I’ll fall! I don’t want to fall! - I besought. I was hanging there above the abyss, and could find no foothold either. If I let it go, I’ll surely fall and die. Suddenly someone grabbed my hand firmly and pulled me up. I didn’t see who it was, because my hair was in my face and I could look up only when I was drawn up. I swept my hair from my face. - Oh my God! - I yelled. I shrieked as never before. I rose and started to run away. But he was running after me, took my hand and embraced me tightly, but I pushed him away and ran on for a few meters. My stomach was in knots and I felt strong pain all over my body, this was unprecedented, even my heart was aching. I could run no further. I kneeled on the ground, panting and crying. I heard his steps approaching me. I saw his shoes as he stopped close. He kneeled down next to me. He touched my leaning hand. But I took it away instantly. My tears were dropping on my face. I looked up at him and the only thing I could say came out in a faint voice: - You died. You died! - I kept saying the same line louder and louder. - You’re not here now, I must be hallucinating. - No, Madison! No! It’s me, Nathan. I didn’t die. - It’s impossible. That’s not true. - I’m here, Mad! I’m alive! - and he tried to embrace me again, but I pushed him away for a second time, and I wiped my eyes. I looked down on the ground then back upon him.

- It can’t be true. - I said - It is. - You are not real! - I am. Believe me. I simply couldn’t comprehend how it is possible. I was trying to regain consciousness from this nightmare. Because this is not reality. - This must be my imagination. - It is not Madison. Please, look at me. - This voice, this voice was truly his and I missed it so much. And I hear it now, I hear it again. I looked at him and crept closer. I slowly took his hand and touched his face. I stroke it with my hand and felt his tears streaming over it. I was trying to comprehend that he was there with me again. And he embraced me. - I missed you terribly. - he whispered into my ears. - But… - I mumbled. - A lot, Mad, I thought I would never see you again. - he interrupted. - How is it possible? - but he didn’t let me go, on the contrast, he drew me closer. - Nathan, is that really you? - I went on. - Yes! It’s me! - And will you promise you’re not leaving me ever again? - I’ll never leave you. - You promise? - Yes! - It was terrible without you, everything. - we released our grasp and stood up. I turned to the right because from the corner of my eye I could see someone approaching.

- Nathan! - he was looking that way by the time already. I saw that the man approaching was in black from top to toe. As he was getting closer, I recognized the same guy in him who we had seen with Lizz in the parking lot; he was a Decider. - Nathan, let’s go! - I shouted, but he didn’t move. - Nathan! you hear me? - Calm down. - he chided. The Decider was getting closer and I was growing more nervous. - Nathan! Please, let’s leave, he’s not a good person. - But it was too late, he was standing there already, everything was happening so suddenly. Nathan turned to him and they shook hands. I was utterly frozen, I was standing there witless. Nathan… - I mumbled under my nose. But he replied with a kind smile and drew closer. - He’s Peter. - he said pointing at him. - We met once. - I said in anger. - Yes, not that long time ago. - he agreed as if nothing bad had happened that time. - Indeed, not so long ago… - And was burst with rage and was at his throat, pushed him over to the ground and yelled. - How did it feel killing Lizz? Why don’t you reply? I know it was you! - I was pushing him around, but he made no attempt to defend himself; Nathan tried to hold me back. - Madison! Stop it! - he said and tried to hold my arms. - Leave me alone, Nathan! - I aimed to get out of his grip but he held me too strong and I don’t know what my rage turned into, but I started to cry, I wept. It was increasing. I was feeling relieved. Stress flying out of my body as if sucked out. But this guy annoyed me beyond reason, his lack of responses to my behavior, not saying a word and staring blankly. Nathan made me face him and put both his hands firmly on my head and looked

into my eyes. Then in a serious voice he said: - Madison! Peter did Lizz nothing wrong, it wasn’t us! You were deceived! You understand? I was staggered by what he said. I would have not believed it if anyone else was saying that. But it was Nathan. I would have trusted my life upon him. Thus when he was telling me these I felt as if I had been in a dark tunnel so far with no exit, and now I was found. I understood everything, everything became clear, and I know that I’ll be never alone. - Was I deceived? - I asked self-possessed, then he let my head go and wiped my tears. - Leaving you alone now might be the best, but come in soon. - said Peter kindly. - Alright, we’re going soon. - answered Nathan. In the meantime on a narrow path we headed to the opposing direction. - How did you survive, Nathan? What did happen to you then? How come you’re here? What are you doing here? - I overwhelmed him with the questions revolving in myself. - When we went to the opening, you know, I dashed into the forest to see what had happened. - but I noticed the same sign on his neck. - Were you a Protector, too? - I asked shocked. - Yes, the sign appeared on me years ago, but I kept it covered and secreted, I had to. - I would have never considered… - So back then I dashed into the forest because I knew you’ll also become one soon. - How did you know? Why did you leave me there? - I had a dream about it. I left in order to protect you.

I knew they’d seek you out and I didn’t want you to get hurt. I knew they’d try to ensnare you. And look, they succeeded. - Are you trying to say that you Deciders are the good ones? - There are no good or bad ones Mad. Not anymore. - Then eventually what did happen in the forest? - The Protectors got me, tried to kill me, because they knew that I was the only significant obstacle between you and them. - Between me and them? - Yes. They wanted you. And they got it for a period of time. But it’s all over now, here you’re safe with us. - If only you knew how many times I have heard that. But what did they do to you? Nathan? - I was badly injured, I thought they will kill me. But then Peter and the others arrived and helped me out, and saved me. My injuries were so severe that weeks ed before I regained consciousness. - And after that, why didn’t you seek me out when feeling better? - Because it was late. You know, everyone believed me dead, I was buried. I could not have walked up to you. - There could have been a way for sure… Somehow. - Yes! But it was not allowed. The Deciders didn’t want me to go close to you. - But why? - There are laws here as well. - Yes, I’ve heard about the a little. - So I couldn’t break these laws, or I would have faced even more severe punishment, and not only me, but everyone else. - I shook my head. I don’t

know, suddenly I felt in a dream again. - But I was beside you all along, I mean, I was trying to be with you. I even sent messages. - he continued. - With the Bible? - I looked at him with curious eyes. - Yes, that was one of them. - he laughed. - But I didn’t believe it was you… You know it would have been incredible to think you’re alive. - Yes, it might not have been the best idea to make you know I’m alive. - he laughed. - I thought someone was fooling around. But if it weren’t you who killed Lizz, then who? - The Protectors. - and he grew terribly nervous. - What are you doing? - he asked me furiously. - There must be a huge misunderstanding here, I’ll call Christopher here and we’ll talk it over. - but no sooner did I finish my sentence then he snatched my phone and hurled it to a boulder. It fell to pieces on the ground. - Are you crazy? - I shouted at him and ran to the boulder trying to put the pieces together. - Congratulations Nathan! You ruined it! - he came over there and bowed down to me. - Madison, this will be hard to believe, as everything else, but Christopher is fully involved in it. - When I heard this I felt a knife being turned around in my heart. - No! That’s not true! - I tried to protect him. - Oh Mad, don’t be like this. - I know you didn’t like him the moment I met him, you told me to avoid him! - Yes, precisely. Because I knew who he really is.

- No! You don’t know him. He’s different. He would never do such a thing to me. - Madison! He is not different. He’s involved in all the evil of the Protectors. - I’m certain that you’re mistaken. This is a huge misunderstanding, as everything else. - I know it is hard to believe for you. - No, you being alive is incredible, but I won’t believe that what you are saying is true. He loves me. - He doesn’t love you, he deceived you. - No! And you know what? I love him too. That must be what troubles you. - Don’t be childish, Madison. You know how I always wanted you to find somebody you can love. But not him. - So with this, are you trying to say he was the one who killed Lizz? - It was the doing of the Protectors, but I don’t know who by name. But it was them, and framed us to make you draw the wrong conclusions. - Why would they do so? - Because they wanted to make you believe that we are the ones who want to hurt you, and you need to hate us. - This much, I understand, but can’t get the full picture. - Madison, because you can help them and they wanted to have you on their side. - Just how could I help them? I have nothing. I am not special. - You are. With your dreams… - Wit my dreams? - this made it all crystal clear why Christopher was inquiring about my dreams. I crumbled. I looked at Nathan and he could see that I finally

believe everything he says. Thinking that Christopher did that to me crushed my heart, did he need me only to get information? He abused me from the start, and still I felt he was honest in his feelings towards me. - What do they have to do with my dreams? - I asked. - To find something. Didn’t they ask you questions regarding your dreams? - They did. - I answered quietly. - And what did you dream of? - I was hesitating, what if this is a snare? But no, Nathan would never do that. - Of a castle. - I continued and we turned around to walk back. - Of what castle? - Of a huge palace, and of roses… - That’s all? Didn’t you see where exactly this place is? - Why, Nathan? Why? - Madison! Answer me! - he yelled at me. - I saw a huge cemetery and that too was full of red and black roses. - Good lord! - and he took his head in his hands. - What’s the matter? What is this place? - I asked worried. - Did you tell them? - he asked back. - Yes. This just happened today, I dreamt of this today. - Madison, that place is the house of the Leaders! - What? - I stood obtuse. - Wait. I have to make a phone call now. - He called someone quickly, but stood afar so that I could hear nothing from the conversation.

- Hey! Nathan! Will you tell me now? - Yes. They were doing all of this to you to learn the location of that place so that they can go there and get rid of them. - Christopher told me it is the headquarters of the Deciders and they want to settle things with you. - Then he lied to you, it’s not our place, but the Leader’s. - Why do they want to get rid of them? How would they profit from that? - They would seize the power to control everything. They could determine the number of days anyone has. - That’s absurd! - I was shocked. - Come, let’s go back to the house. - They told me that’s your house and they want to nullify you, for it was you who killed the mother of Christopher beside many other victims. - They fed you a nice little tale, Mad. - I’m sorry, Nathan. - No problem. I told the others to make arrangements. - Now I’m responsible for everything bad. - It’ll be alright, we’ll solve it. - And do you know why it is me who has dreams like that? - No, we don’t know that either. - we increased our pace. - Where are we hurrying to? - We’re going back to the house. - What is this place?

- You’ll see it soon, it’s not far now. - All the Deciders will be there? - I asked worried. - Not all, but a good number of them. Relax, it’ll be fine. - For some reason I couldn’t believe this one. I could hardly see in the dark for the enormous foliage covered the moon light. We again reached a chasm. - We have to cross this. - ordered Nathan. - How? - I looked down into the deep, it was frightful. - Come, I’ll show you. - A few steps to the side there was a barely visible rope hanging down into the abyss. - I won’t climb down on that. - I refused. - Madison. It’s simple, you can lean on the rocks… - I look down again, but couldn’t even see the bottom of it. - How deep is it? - Not that much, you won’t fall into it. - Isn’t there another way? - There are more than one, but this is the shortest and we must hurry now. With great difficulties we descended into darkness and I couldn’t understand how we’d end up on the other side. At the bottom of the abyss it was pitch black. There was a narrow bridge, which was not easy to notice once you were down there. At the other end of the bridge there was second rope, leading upward. With great difficulties I did it, even though I have never excelled in school when it came to rope climbing. - Come, take my hand. - said Nathan kindly when we reached the surface, then we started running again and kept going for a long while. - I’m sure I’d have never made it here on my own. It is very well-hidden from everyone; this way no one will find you at least, especially not strangers.

- Yes, we’ve managed to find a good place. - Nathan agreed. - Come, come. -he urged me.

Chapter 13

We got out of the forest. That place was astonishing; I’ve never seen a scene like that before. A huge house was built into a giant rock, or into a hill-side, to be precise. Everything was made out of glass which reflected the moon’s light. In front of the house there was a relatively small opening with a good number of cars parked there. This extraordinary place was surrounded by a dark, grim pineland. It was terrifying and relaxing at the same time. - It is somewhat creepy, but also enchanting. - I said in wonder. - I think it’s very nice, I love living here. Come, let’s go inside! - There are a good number of cars here… How many people do you have? - Fifteen, currently. - and he opened the door. It was like a magical power wrapping itself around me. The place was huge from the inside, too. In the middle, stairs led to the next level. Everything, but everything was snow-white. When he closed the door, he took my hand and pulled me inside with a few more steps. This made the others notice our arrival. Some descended the stairs, all of them were in black. I recognized a couple of them from the park. They were staring at me as if I were a storefront. Or a painting in the museum they cannot understand. They didn’t say a word, just kept watching. I felt blood dropping from my leg, right onto the white carpet, but I was too afraid to tell anyone. Every single drop was as loud for me as a splash into the ocean. Nathan noticed it instantly. - I’ll tie it up in a second, you must have grazed it at the rocks. - he said. But because of this too, I was feeling bad; I didn’t care about my leg at all. For the sinner was me, I was the person who betrayed the Leaders. I saw that in everyone’s eyes and I felt ashamed. Then a tall, brown-haired girl with a beautiful face pulled me out of these ideas, literally.

- My name is Jennifer. - she was smiling at me kindly. - Come, I’ll put a bandage around it. - we went upstairs, I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. When we reached the top I looked back at them and saw that Nathan was explaining the details of my dream, and also what I had told the Protectors. Then Jennifer led me into a tiny room. - Sit down. - she pointed at a snow-white chair, then brought in a small red box with medicine and lint in it. - This will sting a little. - she bowed down and cleared the wound with a cotton pad. - Doesn’t hurt that much. - I set my teeth. - Thanks, it’s really kind of you. - I’m glad to help. - she said in a distinct voice. - Now you belong to us. - and she tied my leg. - For some reason I don’t feel so. It is more like not belonging anywhere. - Oh no. Dismiss these ideas. - I’m sorry for telling them where the Leaders are… - You could not have known. If I had been in your shoes, I’d have told them all as well. I feel really sorry for what they have done to you. They are good at deceiving people, you have to acknowledge that. - she said with a mocking smile. - Well, here we go! Done! - I took a look at my leg; she did a nice job and it wasn’t that painful. - Thank you very much. And what now? - I sprang up from the chair. - You know… Now we possess enough information about the Protectors’ goals, the route they are going to choose, and on the way we can do away with them. she said in a somewhat upset tone. - Why don’t you notify the leaders of the danger and tell them to get away? - They have known about it for a long time. - Then? - I was looking at her in despair. - It’s high time to settle things once and for all. Look at this painting. - and she

pointed on the wall. There was a deep red painting on the wall. And a young man on it with a black knife in his hand, with which he stabbed a woman in the stomach. The representation was truly realistic, you could see the feelings and sensations in it. - What does it mean? - I asked Jennifer. - This is the scene when a Protector killed a Decider. This ignited the conflict between the two parties. We’ve never learnt the reason behind. There are legends about it, saying that they were lovers and this was the only way for them to be together: the boy killing the girl, then committing suicide, so that they can fulfill their love. - So this was a nice act, wasn’t it? - I asked uncomprehending. - Yes, it would have been… But the boy had no intention to kill himself, because power and dominance were more important than love. - So the boy just killed his love and lived on? That’s horrible! - I was staring at the painting stunned by what people are capable of doing. - And why is the knife black? I saw that on numerous paintings Christopher showed me in their house. - We can kill the other in the blink of an eye only with such knives. Dipped into venom which finishes off the victims very quickly, hence the black color. - So you’re planning to kill all the Protectors? - Yes. - and vengeance flickered in her eyes. My stomach was in a knot, Christopher might have deceived me, but I’m sure he loves me, that was no lie and I don’t want him to get hurt by the Deciders. I don’t want to lose him! - So you’re here! - entered Nathan. - Yes, but I’m off, got to prepare. - replied Jennifer. - Ten minutes and we are going. - he said.

- Are we going already? - I asked worried. - Only us; you’re staying here, Mad. Now, was I fed up with all of this, forever left out of everything, but this time I won’t argue with anyone, I’ll do as they say. My plan is to follow them carefully and protect Christopher somehow. - Alright. - I answered. - How’s your leg? - he bent down and took a closer look. - I’m fine, it doesn’t hurt at all. - Glad to hear that, as well as to know have you here with us. - I’m also glad, but it’s still kind of incredible that you’re alive. Are the others mad with me? - You have nothing to worry about, Mad, believe me, no one is blaming you. - I can imagine… - I mean it, at least we know where the Protectors will be, so it’s easier to get rid of them. - You think there’ll be peace after all this? - You can never know. I let out a big sigh; it’d be pointless to argue about this with him or with anyone else. Instead, I was becoming more and more worried about Christopher, but I had no means to give him a warning, and in case such things were possible, I’d warn only him, and no one else. - Come, Mad, we’re going soon. - Where should I go? - I’ll show your room. - he led me into a huge semi-circle shaped room emitting peace and tranquility. It also had the luxury of snow-white, and flowers were

everywhere, bunch of flowers. Looking out of the window, although in the distance, the lake was visible. - I hope you’ll like it. - said Nathan kindly. - Yes, it’s wonderful. And is this really my room? - Of course! It would be best for you to move here. But we’ll discuss it once we return. I didn’t see the point in moving here, but I didn’t want to steal more time with my questions, for they had asked Nathan to go downstairs multiple times. - Take care, Nathan! - and I hugged him. - I will. It’s going to be alright. - I don’t want to lose you again. - You won’t. - he kissed my forehead and left, but I could hear the key turning in the door. - I can’t believe it… Nathan! - I shouted. - Open the door! You hear me? - I know you, Mad! I know you’d follow us; it’ll be best for you to stay here. Believe me! - Nathan! Nathan! Open it! - but he was no longer there, I heard him running down the stairs. - That’s insane! - I raged inside the room. - You bet I won’t just sit here idly, by any means I’ll go after them! I went to the window and saw everyone grouped up in front of the house. I put my hand on the glass and stroke it. Nathan looked up; I saw something strange in his eyes I had never seen before, something bad. With clenched hands I hit the window, but Nathan turned away and they headed to the dense forest. Then they started to run and vanished in the blink of an eye. I went back to the door and tried to open it, but couldn’t, I darted at it to break it

open, but in vain. I had little time left. Without consideration I grabbed a chair and smashed it into the window with all my might. The glass shattered to pieces and the shards fell on the ground. Fortunately it wasn’t so high. I looked down through the broken window and next to it there were the eaves spouts leading to the ground. Where it was attached to the wall, I could find holding for my hand and so I could climb down carefully. But I knew I had to hurry, so at the last few meters I stopped climbing and leapt off, right onto all the shards and felt them multiplying to even smaller ones under my feet as a result. Upon landing I managed to cut my hand, but I didn’t care. I looked towards the forest where I had seen them running to and I dashed after them as fast as I could. I didn’t care for anything except for Christopher’s safety. This notion gave me such strength that let me run as quick as lightning. I kept running and running. Luckily I found them. I didn’t know the place, I have never been there before. - Damn it! - I said angered. I’m late. It has started. Everything happened so quickly, it ed off in the blink of an eye. It was easy to distinguish the Deciders from the Protectors for they were wearing black clothes. Everything was in terrible disorder and chaos. They were trading blows at rapid speed. Everyone had a black knife and they aimed to stab the others, and meanwhile I was just standing there, looking at them. I was frozen for a few seconds, I couldn’t move. I tried to find Christopher and Nathan, but saw them nowhere. I rushed into the heart of battle. Everyone wanted to murder, to strike the other… I saw many of them getting injured. Peter, who I had met before, was lying at my feet. I bent over him, everything was covered in blood, he was dead. At the very same moment a Protector charged at me and when I could turn around, it was already too late; he missed the stab, but his knife grazed my side. I dropped on the ground and grabbed my bleeding wound. It was a stream running out of it. He didn’t draw back, but tried to kill me again; when I looked up I saw it was Mason. I got up as I could and tried to withdraw. - It’s me, Madison! - I shouted at him, but he didn’t care and charged at me again. Everything slowed down around me. I tried to dodge his attack, but

couldn’t. If I have to die now, so be it. Your will be done. I closed my eyes. When I opened them everything was as it used to be, but Mason couldn’t stab me, I looked to the side and there was Christopher next to me. He took Mason to the ground, tried to hold him down, but he didn’t succeed, so Mason tried to attack me again. He was approaching me and I started to run away from him. I saw all that anguish, I heard the moans when someone was killed and I felt the life leaving the body, and I could feel the terrible odor of blood. I looked back, Christopher jumped on Mason when he was only a step away from me and stabbed his knife into him. The black knife. I kneeled down, and the head of Mason was at my feet, thus I clearly heard his last words. - You see… Christopher, I’ve told you. - and slowly he closed his eyes. He died. Christopher looked at me, never in my life have I seen him like that. He stood up, took me and we started to run away from there, from that mess. A few attacked us, but Christopher pushed away all of them. I glanced to the side and saw Nathan, he didn’t notice me, I saw him taking the life of a Protector. But this, I’ll never forget: I could see he was enjoying it. Like when we used to do things together… I know how it is when he enjoys something, and it gave me the creeps. But with Christopher we were running as fast as we could. We managed to get away. We dashed into the woods, into the middle of it. Where there is no one. Where no one can see us. Where no one can hear us. Where there are only the two of us. We stopped at the shore of a small lake. I stepped down at the waterside, because my side gave me immense pain. Christopher tore a part of his T-shirt off and tried to stop the bleeding somehow. - Come, we have to go on. - he said. - To where? - I was holding the bandage which was completely drenched in blood already. - To safety. - He took me again and pulled me up from the stone I was sitting on,

and we hurried away. - Where are we going? - I asked again. - To the Leaders. We ran out onto the main road, but didn’t go much further. There was a black car at the side of the road. We got in and drove away as fast as the car could handle. I turned my head away. I could feel the poison pervading my body. - Try to stay awake! Try to stay awake. Madison! Madison! - these were the last words I recall, then I lost consciousness.

Chapter 14

When I opened my eyes it was dark everywhere. I could barely see a thing. I sit up from the bed, pulled up my top and took a look at the cut. The wound was tied up and didn’t hurt that much anymore. I stood up and drew aside the dark purple curtains; the sun blinded me for a few seconds, but I could see where I was. I saw a huge estate from the window, I didn’t even know where its end could have been, perhaps the fence was visible in the distance. Under my window, black and red roses crept. I knew I was at the leaders. I left through the door and tried to find Christopher, but all the rooms were empty. I descended the stairs, and here too, just like in the entire house, there was half-light. At the end of the stairs there stood a beautiful brown-haired woman and she called me by my name. - My name is Norine West. - and she offered her hand, but I felt embarrassed. - Madison Moore. - I said precariously. - It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you. How do you feel? - Much better now, thanks. - You had a rather ill-looking injury, but fortunately it was not deep. Please, follow me. - We set off towards an enormous room where everything seemed to be so antique as in old movies, it felt like being in a museum. The walls were black and Bordeaux, only the white roses stood out. - Take a seat, please. - she pointed at a deep blue armchair. I sat down and she did the same opposite me. But I grew ever more embarrassed, started to twiddle my bracelet and wanted to focus my gaze somewhere else because she kept staring at me and it frustrated me beyond imagination. - You are a very pretty girl, Madison. - she said kindly. - Thank you very much, hmmm… May I ask how Christopher is? - He’ll be here with us soon. - And where is he now?

- In another room. - She gave short answers and I didn’t want to ask any more questions, although I had many things to learn. - He’s talking with the other Leaders. - he went on. - So you’re a Leader, too? - Yes. - I’ve got no idea how I should have acted then. I took some consecutive deep breaths. - You must have a lot of questions. - she smiled at me again. - Yes. There are a couple of things I don’t understand. - Feel free to ask what you want. - I don’t get it why we came here with Christopher when he belongs to the Protectors, and they aimed to get rid of everybody. - Originally, Christopher belongs to us; he has infiltrated the Protectors in order to learn their exact intentions and plans. - I knit my brows; this piece of news utterly shocked me. - How does he belong here? - I asked unknowing. - Christopher, he is my son. - Hearing that I turned stiff and stared at her, suddenly I didn’t know how to react, this came as a cooler. - But he told me his father had been killed by the Deciders. - I know, he couldn’t tell you the truth in many things; revealing such facts to anyone might have led to being uncovered. - So could it be that he’s a Leader, too? - I asked astonished. - Exactly. - And me? Where do I belong? - You have to decide where you want to.

- The Protectors killed my father’s fiancée, my friend, and used me to get information, so I’d surely not choose their side. - But you have another chance which is given only to a few. That would be taking our side. - How is that possible? - You know, it is extremely rare to possess an ability like yours. - You mean the dreams? - Yes! You are unaware of how big of a help they can turn out to be in the future. - How? - You can learn to control it in order to see everyone’s number. - I’m not sure if I want to know the how many days people have left… - An average Protector or Decider is not so gifted, for them a number appears only if the person in question has very little time left, but you could see everyone’s. - Even that of a Protector or a Decider? - Yes, even yours. This is a huge opportunity. - But you know, too, right? You see the numbers. - Yes, correct. - And is it really you who decide how much is left for a person? - Not wholly. We can influence it, but I can’t speak about these issues since you are not one of us yet. - My apologies, I didn’t want to ask a wrong question. - The question is not wrong, I just can’t answer it right now. The choice is yours, think it over wisely.

- And what was the outcome of yesterday’s fight? - I asked curiously, but at that very moment Christopher entered the room, which made me very happy. I stood up and ran to him, then my wound stung a bit, but I didn’t mind it, I only cared for embracing him. But I saw on his face that he was not overjoyed by it. - How about a stroll? - he asked somewhat upset. - Alright. - I looked at his mother who was nodding with her head, so we went out straight to the garden from the room. The intensive scent of roses was all around. - How are you? Does your side still hurt? - he asked again kindly. - I’m much better now, it doesn’t hurt. - in the meantime we sat down on a bench amid roses. - I was so afraid to lose you… But how did you get into the clash? - he asked with curiosity. - Nathan told everything, it was unbelievable, starting from him being alive to all the things he said. - Yes, it must have been terrifying to learn the truth. Hold no grudge against me for not telling you, but it was not allowed, nothing was. - I have no grudge. I was there at the clash, because one thing I couldn’t believe Nathan: that you had deceived me all along, and that you were involved in Lizz’s death. It was tough, but I trusted you, I knew you are not like that and there must be a reasonable explanation for everything. - So you went to the fight for answers? - No! I went there, because I was worried about you. You didn’t know about the attack of the Deciders and I feared there’ll be trouble. - And you are the one who got hurt. - I bowed down my head for he was right, and I kept staring ahead. - So are you angry with me now because I wanted to warn you? - I am angry because you shouldn’t have gone there; it was very dangerous, you

could have died. - And do you know why Mason attacked me? - Because he knew that Nathan had told you everything and that you know the truth and are against them, so he found it better to kill you. - Yes, that’s more than likely. Of course I’d go against them for fooling me. However, I’d have never imagined it will be him… - I believe that, but he would have received a grand prize for killing you. - That’s great. I just don’t get it, you know, in yesterday’s fight everyone behaved as wild animals, and the most peculiar thing was that I could see they enjoyed killing. Why can’t one live in peace? - In peace? - I saw he took me for a moron. - Yes, in peace! Is that so incredible? - he just smiled, but it didn’t matter, I knew what he’d answer. - How’s Nathan? Do you know? Or how did it end? - Noone won, both sides lost people, but the situation just turned for the worse… Nathan is fine. - You sure? - I asked doubtfully. - Yes, relax. - And why did it turn for the worse? Why can’t you say it’s equal and over? - Because both the Protectors and the Deciders have a Leader, I just talked to them inside the house and they were unaware of yesterday’s happenings, now they’re blaming each other and this one can’t be settled with words anymore. - What will happen now? - Noone knows, both parties are angry like hell. The session was suspended. The whole situation is dubious right now. I have a feeling it won’t turn out well.

- I’m sorry to hear that, hopefully it’ll settle… - at this he smiled at me, and kissed me. - What’s important is that you are unharmed, and fortunately I have to tell you no more lies, which is a huge relief. - Yes, that makes me happy as well, to know you’ll be honest from now on. You know, it was unbelievable to hear you belong here… That you are a Leader! How does it feel belonging to them? - It’s good that I don’t have to choose between the Protectors and the Deciders, but on the other hand it’s not so good, because there are a lot more rules here which must be kept. The Deciders and the Protectors are much freer. - I get it. Freedom is very important; to make your own decisions… - I’m glad to have you here now and grateful for all the things turning out this way eventually. I’ve missed you a lot. - Same goes for me. - I wanted to stay with them there, far from everything, but I knew I couldn’t, I had to go home for I was needed there, especially now. - This place is wonderful, much more beautiful than in my dreams! - I was amazed by the garden and the castle. - Although it is unclear why you’ve been asking questions about my dreams when you belong there. - I wanted to find out how much you knew. The Protectors were getting suspicious of my sentiments. The price of their trust was to tell them the vague location of this place. - But you’ve been unveiled now for good! - Yes, but it doesn’t matter. It was more important to save you; with the Leaders we’ll somehow find a way to settle the conflict between the Deciders and the Protectors. And do you know what your decision will be? Who will you choose? - Yes, I’m almost certain. - And which one is it? - he was looking at me curiously.

- I’ll tell you, but want to think it over for a few times before. - That’s alright. Don’t be hasty. - I should be going home soon, mother must be worried, I don’t even have a phone now, so she can’t even give me a buzz. - What came to it? - Nevermind, it’s not that important, it has broken. - You can call her from mine; I stored her number the last time. - Really? - I was overjoyed. - I didn’t know what to tell mum again. What should I lie? I was lucky for she was not angered at all by the uselessness of my phone or by my sudden disappearance last night. - I’m not mad, but notify me next time, especially after the recent events. - Nothing of the kind will happen ever again. - I insisted. - When are you coming home? - she asked slightly worried. - Soon… - It’d be nice because something happened last night. - Some trouble? - Yes, your grandparents have decided to come here today afternoon, and for an unknown reason they don’t want your father to be here with us until the next operation. Moreover, they looked up a new physician and want to take him with themselves. - That’s quite odd, look, I’m going soon and we’ll talk it over and find some solutions. - I didn’t want them to take father away, since they don’t know how little he has left and I wanted to spend this period of time with him… - Thanks for lending me your phone, but I have to go home now. - Did something happen?

- No, I just want to be at home now. - I didn’t want to tell Christopher, I always go to him with my problems and I didn’t want to put more burden on him; I’ll settle this one on my own. - Fine… I’ll see you home. - he was looking at me with those beautiful blue eyes of his. - That’s very kind of you, I’m glad to accept it. - we rose from the bench, but suddenly my head turned faint. - Ouch! - I grabbed my side. - Hey, come, sit back. - he was asking worried. - No need, I’m fine, just went dizzy for a second. - You sure? - Sure! I’m fine. - Don’t you want to stay here for a few more days? - That’d be nice, but I can’t, it’ll be best to go home now. - But feel free to stay, and of course you can come back whenever you want to. This house is very safe. I would be calmer knowing you’re here. - Believe me, I’m safe the way I am now. Right? - Right, yes. - It was not convincing at all, but I know I can rely on him anytime. - Come, my car’s this way. - and he was pointing to the right. - Before that I want to bid farewell to your mother. - She no longer here, she had to go. - It’d have been nice to talk with her a little longer. She was very kind with me; I was shocked to hear she’s your mother. - Yes, sometimes she can be like that, but sometimes she’s so cold and

immovable, that’s why I wasn’t really overjoyed to find the two of you in the same room. But from this point on I won’t put on any more acts, for I don’t have to. I don’t have to lie anymore. - I’m so happy about that! - we went a bit farther. - Is this for real? Is this your car? - Yes, my old one was taken away by the Leaders. - It’s beautiful. - a deep purple Jaguar was standing in front of us, I’m not really into cars, but this one even I can recognize. - It’s beautiful. Really. - I ired it a bit longer. Inside, new scent was everywhere around. It can’t be explained, but everything new has a peculiar fresh fragrance. - Honestly, this car is fantastic, we are going so easily I’m deceived to think we are flying. But if you had a cart, I would be just as happy. - A cart? - I saw he didn’t get my point. - I mean, the type of car you own matters not to me. - I know, you love me for who I am. - Don’t make it sound silly, I really mean it! - I also love you for being exactly like this. Yourself. - I’m trying to be, but it’s difficult, especially since I’m going through all these changes. With the roof off, pedal to the metal were we going, all of this in the sunset. I’ve never felt so happy. I expelled everything bad, all the horrible thoughts from my head. Everything. I felt the wind in my hair, the scent of pine trees after the rain, everything was perfect. I was happy. We got home very quickly, even thought the estate was quite far from us, but time flew away this time.

- Thank you! - I said kindly, and he was looking at me like someone who just opened a present and got exactly what he was looking for. - What are you saying thanks for? - For having you. After he kissed me I looked at our house and an unpleasant sentiment came over me again, a sinister feeling, but I did rather not think about that, just shook it off. Christopher didn’t get out, but before closing the door I asked: - When will we meet again? - As soon as possible, Madison. - I leant back for one more kiss, then he sped away with the wind. I opened the postern door and I was happy to be at home, to come home, even though I was aware of all the tasks awaiting me in life, but now it was good to be there. But before I could go in, a sound was audible behind me. They rays of the settling sun leaking through between the branches of the trees shone into my eyes. - Madison! Madison! - I heard it growing louder as I stepped towards the other side of the road. The sound was coming from inside, form the forest. But I saw nobody. I went on, deeper with a couple of meters. - Who is it? Where are you? - I asked. - I’m here. - he whispered it directly in my ears. - Nathan! What an idiot you are. You freaked me out! - How are you Madison? - he asked mockingly and grabbed my arm. - Fine, but let me go. - Oh, I’m sorry. You sure it hurts? - and he squeezed it even stronger. - Stop it, Nathan! -and I pushed him away. - What’s wrong with you? - I shouted

at him. - Think about it Madison. You have also turned into a betrayer. - What? What are you talking about? - You and Christopher. - You’re insane. We are not betrayers. - You are, Mad, you sided with them. - Hey, Nathan, calm down. He saved my life, he had just infiltrated the Protectors and in fact, he belongs to the Leaders. - Of course Mad! And you took it as everything else. - Yes, and I’ll choose them as well. - Congratulations! - he yelled at me. I’ve never seen Nathan like that, he was terrifying, as if he was not himself. - Madison, we don’t want to hurt you. - What? You don’t want to hurt me? - Together with the rest of the Deciders, but if your decision stays the way it is not at present, who knows what’ll happen. - What would happen? Perhaps you want to kill me? - I asked taunting. Then he rushed at me, I stepped back as far as I could, and he constrained me to a big tree. Our faces were within a hair’s breadth. I grew nervous and I was also afraid, all the feelings were reflected upon my face, and he was different, angered. Fierce. As if I hadn’t known that person before. It was not him. Not Nathan, but someone else. - You know what’ll happen now, Madison? - but this one he asked in a more relaxed tone. He looked into my eyes and put one of his hands on my face, stroke it slowly

with his fingers, then with his other hand he suddenly thrust something into me, exactly to the wound I got the last day; all of this with a cold, rigid eye. And I was screaming from the pain, tears were running over my eyes, I kept looking at him, then slow and nice I collapsed. And he was just watching, then with slow steps departed for the deep of the forest. After him I shouted: Nathan, Nathan! Wait! - I knew it was not him, he would never do such a thing to me. I tried to get myself on all fours to advance, but I couldn’t, I was tired. I closed my eyes and a warm, pleasant, calm feeling came over me. As if now, He would be here with me.

Decision:

From the moment you get out of the bed each morning you make decisions. Every day. You can decide to have a good or a bad mood. What you’ll do today, what you’ll accomplish. Everything. And others should never make these decisions instead of you. It is not their life, it’s yours! I’ve also made up my mind. But as everything in this world, this had, has and will have its consequences. Which, as long as I live I have to bear, just like you. Or, another decision has to be made.