From Start To Finish: How To Be Successful 5u1s1v

From Start to Finish

How to Be Successful

Jane Abucha

Copyright © 2016 by Jane Abucha.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016916216 ISBN: Hardcover 978-1-5245-4705-9 Softcover 978-1-5245-4704-2 eBook 978-1-5245-4703-5

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only. Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 09/28/2016

Xlibris 1-888-795-4274 www.Xlibris.com

750802

CONTENTS

Chapter 1 Happiness Positive life Self esteem Challenges to success

Chapter 2 Empowering women and girls Planning Positively Hard working Satisfaction and appreciation

Chapter 3 How to be successful Mechanisms and resources Systems available Education and its challenges

Chapter 4 Engaging women and girls Women in public sectors and organization Women in politics, law and development

Women health and their children

Chapter 5 Battling Professionalism Entering the work force Challenges and barriers to overcome for work Office politics and work load Expectations

A LIFETIME PRICE

Introduction

LIFE THAT IS worth is worth living many say, which still remains a myth to many but a reality to some (James, 1895). While others still consider finding out why life is worth, some have found the meaning of true life by searching the right answers, planning positively and hard work that eventually pays off. This book positively encourages and empowers women and girls to live their life to the fullest with maximum satisfaction that can be found. It also outlines ways, mechanisms, resources and systems available to women around the world especially over the web. The author of the book also would like to empower women and their roles in the public sectors such as participation in development of their own homes, towns, districts and cities. It also empowers participation in politics, law, regulations and education for women and girls in the third world countries like Southern Sudan. This book also includes finding meaning to life, value and networking that brings every opportunity around and creates a positive growth in real life and expectations. The purpose of this book is to serve as memoirs to aid in understanding different challenges in life and overcoming them through the of fellow sisters, friends, women groups and community system. It will also outline how other women have become successful in live and use these tools to motivate and empower others to do the same.

Background

The author of this book Dr. Abucha, Jane DNP, MSN, ACNP-BC, RN was born

to John Dick Abucha and Angela Bayoa Proto from a small village in Madiland called Loa local. Loa is located about one hundred miles from Juba town in South Sudan and about twenty miles from Nimule town towards Uganda. The people in Loa are Ma’di by tribe but with many clans and sub-clans. Jane the author comes from a clan called Pamujo/Pameri a descendant of Abu’cha and Nyakolo family. Nyakolo named Veronica Paraniyo was the daughter of Saye of Puceri in Mugali who was known as the great warrior during the tukutuku/Turko Egyptian era. This book is dedicated to my parents Uztaz Abucha, John Dick father of Jane who was born and raised in Loa local Center number 1, and Angela the mother who was born and raised in Mugali/Nimule. Uztaz Abucha, John was a four-year college graduate and technical teacher by profession. He has been mainly known as a principle of technical colleges from Kiambogo technical college in Uganda from 1970’s to 1980’s. He then became principal of Tonj, Torit and Juba technical colleges in South Sudan in 1980’ to 2002 before his death. Uztaz Abucha was succeeded in his death by his wife Angela, eight boys, four girls and six grand children in 2002.

Ma’di Culture

Ma’di culture, which is described to be the richest culture that has both sides of everything and its sensitivity, has been an issue in the 21st centaury for many youth and young adults. The people of Ma’di are settled along the river Nile from Nimule to Moli and kit 1, and up to Opari with many villages namely Mugali, Nimule, Jeleyi, Loa, Arapi, Pageri, Kerepi, Moli, Kit 1-6, Patibi, Opari and Owyingkibul and some in Northern Uganda. Likely the people of Ma’di all belong to one tribe in Sudan and Uganda, but many clans and sub clans in both countries. In this book, all references are made and based entirely on Ma’di in Southern Sudan. This culture is one of the high context cultures that has feminine and masculine roles spelled out in the clans and families; at the same (time) the culture also preserves royalty to a specific tribe that owns it with no exceptions such as the rain maker clan. Girls in Ma’di were over looked or raised as second-class children with the goal of getting some bride price at marriage. While boys were regarded highly as home care takers and the righteousness to inherit family asserts. Girls pay their price in life more than one could in several ways; they were used as baby sitters for younger siblings while

boys went to school, they cooked and washed dishes while boys never cook nor wash dishes in Ma’di culture unless otherwise. The girls also worked on the farm with their parents, fetched water and firewood and walk a long way to carry food items from the farms to the home. Boys help their father dig or cultivate, then go home to sit at the fire site and eat ready cooked food. At the end of the day, reward for both female and male children never equals but culture preservation over rules for the other. Abusive relationships, arranged marriage and domestic violence is still high in Ma’di communities despite most of the Ma’di boys are highly educated worldwide. Though cultural preservation and its implications have changed over the past two decades; few women raised during those years have been able to stand up for themselves, advocate for their fellow sisters and regain their self-esteem to hold them to higher or better standards that they deserve. Others have done better by educating their daughters and ing them in both education and real world challenges. Some are lost and still live under control and in dilemma of the bride price paid to their parents, which has become a debate today on social medias by the youth and affordability verses the high price.

CHAPTER 1 Happiness

HAPPY LIFE IS the most precious golden gift most of humans wish and expect in this world. To many people, happy life is a privilege while others think it is a choice to make in life as you live day to day. What is life and what is happiness? This question has no right or wrong answer. Every one has a meaning of life, which is worth living according to one’s, own beliefs, values and what life means to them. Happiness or happy life may result from good luck, good fortune and prosperity. It is enjoyment of everything in life; it may also be a reward of hard work in life. “Many of us think we have a responsibility to be happy, but that’s insane,” says Eric Weiner, author of The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World. “It’s why we Americans suffer from what’s called ‘the unhappiness of not being happy.’ (Weiner 2007). Another professor states at Phoenix College in graduation in 2007 that higher goals are better, but setting your self un-achievable goal will drive you to the intensive care unit sooner (ICU) because, you’re striving more than you should and your body’s natural response to helping you will fall short. Happiness comes with trust and faith, faith beyond knowing, but living. All things always work out for the best, but can you believe this? Can you have faith in this? Personal experiences indicate that happiness can be found or achieved anywhere and any time we want, this is because we are responsible to control things that happen around us. Some things in our environment are controllable and they can increase our chances of being happy, but what are those things? Some things are uncontrollable but can be manipulated to help us be successful in finding our ultimate goal of happiness, but what are they? All of us do things or act because we think that those actions will bring us happiness. We want the things we want because we think they’ll make us happy. But if the pursuit of happiness is the root cause of our life’s entire activities, surely we have already assumed the responsibility for it. If you equate happiness with getting what you want, you limit your ability to be happy. And if happiness were

in the house/husband/promotion/child/respect, those things would bring the same amount of happiness to everyone. Happiness is the feeling within of total satisfaction, a state of wanting nothing more. It is contained within you and we have the power to change what makes us happy because we set our own goals and have the ability to reflect back on our own thoughts and actions. You can also decide the circumstances that brings about your own happiness and the responsibility for your happiness is therefore entirely your own.

Choices for happiness

Do we have a choice to be happy? Or do we make wrong choices that take away our happiness? Who can help bring happiness to our lives and who can help restore our struggling efforts to happiness? Having a choice to happiness is ones personal choice and one’s desire to choose where and when to find the type of joy they want in life. One elderly friend I met in the hospital describes her journey to her ultimate satisfaction as a long time struggle. She says “‘I made it work from scratch’ my parents died when myself and my twin brother were twenty one (21) and our big farm was left for us in Iowa in 1939. We decided to forget about the usual fight we had as twins, and we thought that we wanted to have a better future and move to the town. Both of us had completed elementary school but did not go further in education. We made money from the farm and now both of us have enough money to use during our retirement, our kids are also graduates except for one who did not make it through.” Another friend describes her life being the worst road ever but worth every struggle. Maryann tells her eleven yearlong stories with tears, but have you seen her house? She lives in a villa, a palace with more than ten bedrooms, a big kitchen and several living rooms. She is living like a queen and has two maids that work for her. She has changed her unexpected life to a different world of her own desire by controlling the environment, keeping her self busy and avoiding the attempt of engaging in competition of things that she could not afford. Murphy’s Law says that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but is this

true? My personal experience of choosing joy, happiness and peace in mind was easy but long journey to take. It only took some minutes to choose a one time right career, but took time to become successful. It took effort, , dedication, commitment, compromise and sacrifice.

A search for happiness

As the war broke in Torit (Torit is the capital city of Eastern Equatoria State in South Sudan), some friends and I decided to move to Juba town after we stayed in the village of Loa for three months with nothing more but listening to gunshots and the noise of bombing the village. Living under the ground in a kandak/bunker started becoming so boring and life did not seem to be moving in the right direction. Two friends from my village expressed the need to move to the Juba town, while my mother decided to move to Nimule town. I was left with my uncle Elizeo Kula in Loa mission and his families till the day I left for Juba in a convoy that took a large group of civilians for the first time. The convoy took more than two days on the way to Juba, which was only one hundred and twenty miles from Ma’di area. This convoy was attacked three times on the way to Juba and we had to spent night on the way twice because of that. We walked most of the time, though it was called a convoy. The convoy composed by a group of military trucks namely, ki-wi, zid-wi, trailers, and other civil trucks or business cars. The first attack on the convoy was in Moli Tokuro, which took more than six hours to clear; unfortunately we were not able to establish the number of casualties encountered. The second attack was right after kit six (6). This was a big surprise, due to tiredness from the previous one. Life was not worth making it seem to work. Questions and dilemmas aroused, but there were no answers to them. That attack was early in the morning and the most significant issue in it was some one who was named Ogoto, and he was the main initiator of that target bombing. The person here named Ogoto was described to have only one side of the body meaning; one hand, one leg, one eye, half head mouth, teeth and one ear perfect fit for a Halloween party. Assumed to have come from/northern Uganda and have some family relationship with Baranya, Ogumbo, Alice Lakwena and Joseph Konyi the commander of the lord resistant army in Uganda. I wondered how he would look though it was unpleasant to talk about it at that time. By the time the ambush was cleared it

was almost nighttime and the military with all the civilians had to rest before the final move. Early dawn, every one was waked up and the journey started, we walk all along the trucks, with only few women with their children inside mainly the wives of the soldiers. The rest of the people would walk on both sides of the convoy while the military and militia walk side by side in the bush checking every where possible. The journey was slow, but with steady progress and recovery after each attack. We were all tired but eager to reach Juba town, which is now, called the capital of the South Sudan. The last and final attack was at the farm of Joseph Lagu (A former prime minister of Sudan and Anyaya one leader to Addis-Ababa agreement in 1972); I still wonder the real name of that place was. This area is located between the Ma’di, and south of the Lolubo area. It was also early morning when another bullet came through at a time that many were tired of walking and got on to the trailers again hoping everything would be fine. The Ma’di people usually carry groundnuts, baked potatoes and cassava as snacks on most of their journeys and many did for this journey. Despite food was the last think to consider and think of, as humans, all little snacks carried by the people were finished and hunger was also at its peak reducing the energy of every one including the soldiers. The morning looked great, and the weather was very helpful for a journey but all it took was one bullet to destroy the days luck. This bullet killed one person on the truck we were inside it and God knows how quick we dived from there. I jumped from up with my aunts daughter that was with me under my care to be brought to her mother in Juba. This girl was about nine years but somehow we reached the ground and hide in the tallest grass and quiet for some time. The soldiers begun exchange of bullets and it was very heavy shooting ………a while the army kept warning the civilians not to get out of hiding or raise up their heads. One curious man who thought he was tired of life in the grass raised up his head to see what was going on and that minute a bullet ed through his head and he was dead. This last attack had the most casualties and many were taken to the hospital in Juba, while others were carried dead. This firsthand experience of one difficult time encountered in life was a hard one to forget or learn how to cope with after separation from family. Looking at casualties and crying for our life, we entered Juba town and hoped for better future to come, as we were lucky. Arrival in Juba was a great joy and a milestone success in my life because no one expected any gunshot in Juba at that time and life there was normal activities plus socialization. This was the beginning of my journey to happiness because I

was able to leave the war zone with nothing much but gunshots and bombing areas, houses, people and cry of innocent. My personal goal was to get out of that village and life would be possible and appreciated. Things may not work the same, but that was my goal to long time happiness. One decision made a difference in and key in my future and children that came to exits through me. In Juba, high school was the first thing that came in mind and was not that easy too as a displaced citizen with no parents. I lived with my aunt who was my mother’s biological sister. She was an icon to my success in an indirect way because of the challenges she imposed on me. Life begun to move forward, my parents moved to Juba town but all wasn’t the same. Mom and dad were separated; and there was no home, peace and no happiness. Life became harder because now I had to worry about my younger brothers and sisters instead of myself. Getting out of that house was the next thought but how? Though cultural influence and barriers were significant and are a point of distortion in one’s life, the decision making process and who makes the final decision is the most difficult one. Marriage was another option; with bad luck the guy I loved was killed due to the war in one of the towns in Eastern Equatoria town named Kapoeta (Kapoeta is now the state head quarters). My second choice was a young man who was not from my tribe but deadly in love with me, he proposed and I accepted to marry him, he was from the Lango tribe, which my tribe did not like and was counted as an outsider or an outcast because he did not belong to my tribe. We had nothing and he could not afford to pay any dowry nor care for me any better. My parents got back together because of their children suffering but I was out of the home by that time. Marriage was the only choice left because only then I would be able to make my decisions and be out of the home due to cultural sensitivity. All the same, my dad decided to bring me back and refuse the marriage. I was brought back pregnant with a baby boy, gave birth and finished my high school with mom and dad. Life started moving forward, though with multiple challenges of mother hood in my parents’ home, independency and freedom was never there. Maturity and a job did not help improve any understanding of one’s wishes, but pain was ultimate destination of every step in life. Again school was the next option, which was the key to turning my life positive because there would be a job, money and possible life independence once completed successfully. I decided to Juba Teaching hospital nursing school and worked as a nurse under training for three years until nursing was successfully completed and life

was good. Immediately after ing all the interviews and tests for ing the nursing school, another temptation was yet ready for me to , which was to pay for my medical fitness in the medical commission to determine my fitness to work as a nurse. My dad and mom both had no money to give me. The only people who had money were my uncles, who were biological brothers of my dad and my fraternal uncle. None of these uncles were in position to give me twenty-two Sudanese pounds ($22.00) for this medical examination nor in position to jump start my life. I had to go back to the father of my son, only to get some money, which has made me who I am today. This money was little as it sounded, changed my life and set up a foundation and a future in my life and my family today. My culture was a barrier to my life and many young girls, no one was there to listen to my pain, and cry with me, neither a shoulder to cry on nor anyone to learn on. Life was not worth at that time but what else could I do. War broke in Juba from 1989-1992 and everything went to square one and I had to move to Khartoum where I lived with my brother Charles and Robert the sons of my uncle Victor Abucha. Life wasn’t easy as good since my son and I were counted as lesser human beings because I was not officially married to a good man within the tribe, which is due to cultural sensitivity or cultural biasness. Challenges after challenges, day after another, and intention to leave were significantly reduced. I had almost no more tears even left because I cried all the days of my life for almost three years and decided to go back to Juba in the war zone and die there if death was worth preserving my pain. At this very time, no family was there though my mom and dad were together. My grandmother (Nyakolo) who died at an estimated age of about nineties was a great , but only if I could get to the village. My aunts, Nora and Stefanie Abucha who were biological sisters of my dad were great s in the family; but both lived in the village and their help was limited. Nora was the oldest child alive, and she had no child alive, she was divorced but took care of grandma and us while we were in the village. Other family were there throughout our growth, happiness and struggle, but the intensions to distort my father’s home and family were greater from the others. My mother struggled with choices between her own children, husband and her own life; till today her dilemma has not been solved but additional pain from heated tension within the extended family that creates everlasting fear in one’s life. Shortly after relocation back to Juba, I built myself a small house near my family

and the biggest and last final war broke, this was the worst that my son and I could have gone to sleep forever, but God? It was on July 7th 1992 when the morning dawn started with gunshots and heavy shelling from long ranges and RGBs, soldiers were everywhere and life wasn’t a dream any more. My younger brother and sister decided to leave for Uganda on foot; though my brother managed to go through, my sister was arrested and another life cycled started. She and her entire group, which composed, of many youth were placed under the ground jail with no food, and our pictures had to be taken by security in case she disappears again. Prosecutions were not carried against them but the torture was the worst with no food, shower and sunlight for three (3) weeks.

Taking risks for happiness

At the end of the same year 1992, life was really bad, my sister wasn’t happy and a bright young girl. I had not made it to the university but wanted her to go to the university because both my brothers Peter and Martin made it to national universities. She took the risk to leave to Khartoum with the knowledge that her picture was in the security in the airport and so did my mom and I. Luckily that was a day that things were falling apart for Juba town and security was a mess and Nancy managed to cross to the city with one or two dresses. One problem was solved, but not certain if the security notices her absence though her days to report every two days were over. We called it victory and life went on for all. In 1994, I was itted to the national institute of health in Khartoum (HTI) for a two-year diploma course that would graduate me as a clinician. This course was called medical assistant certificate in the previous years before 1993. And medical assistants (MA) in Sudan are also higher than nursing with prescription rights, health screening, ordering labs and providing emergency room (ER) to the out patients. Medical doctors and physicians only attend to patients after they are screened by medical assistant, referred or itted to the ER or wards. The MA treats most minor cases in the outpatient. This was a privilege for me to further my education and also be able to my sister Nancy in the city of Khartoum/Sudan. I went to the HTI and my sister ed her Sudan school certificate from high school and was itted to Juba University by national pull. Nation pull or national boxing was the only best way to study free in the

national university and completion/competition was very high and difficult. Life started to move and sweet in the city, all the risk taken was worth and both my sister and I felt our dream was coming true and the lost happiness was found. In the HTI jobs where abundant for us in all nongovernmental organizations like Action Contra La- Farm (ACF), Medicine Sans Frontiers (MSF), Amerf GTZ, Swedish free mission and many more. Money was right there and no question life was good and happiness was found. Here came along another man in my life who decided that he would be willing to spend his remaining life with me. Bride price (dowry) was paid and traditional ritual was performed in honor of an official marriage and declared husband and wife. In April 1997 my first child with him was born and found out that he wanted to go to the university and have me work and take care of the family. Life was sweet except for he has his own bedroom. After the second baby girl he decided there was no need to the marriage because there was no baby boy. He told me that after graduation from the university he would not work to care for us. As cited by (Khalifa, 1988), men in Sudan dominate women in everything including the decision for family planning and which method to use. Many South Sudanese men do not respect educated women; the work and contribution the women do in the community. On the other hand these same men expect women to do all house duties and give birth to many children as she can because people are dying every day in Sudan (Wal, 2004). A typical South Sudanese man who was oriented in a different old way assume that the woman is in charge of the home and never want to know that bills have to be paid as part of daily life on earth. Every talk that has a word of money or bills was a threat; hence separate bedrooms were heavy doors to peace. By the 20th century, love came to an end as well as games, which, turned, into a great surprise in the real world. The goal for happiness was almost there by surprise, though not reached something seemed promising and that was a way back to college. One has to it that there is no separation without heart breaking, but did it happen? Four days after official separation from the house with the man I loved before, I went to the college and ed for two classes, psychology 101 and critical thinking 111 classes to strengthen my thinking out of the box toward life. In few years, my career was in place and success rate score 100% with peace and joy that was sought for years. This was a great step and a major blow for those who thought a woman could not make it with five children without the man. At the same time it was considered an abnormal

occurrence in the culture because women back home in Southern Sudan do not divorce men nor have the braveness to do so.

Culture as a barrier to happiness

Sudanese culture is a very rich culture, but abused by men commonly by the act of owning the women and trading on them by marrying more than one. According to (Wal, 2004), traditionally, men are the head of the family and they are responsible for the whole family. Women look after children, the men, the old, the sick including disable people, and the mentally ill, although many of these responsibilities have been eroded by urbanization. Whether in rural or urban society, however, the burden of these social services falls upon women p.3. Therefore the mentality of a woman being a slave because dowry has been paid to her family has victimized the women rights most that of the women did not escape today. Socialization has been a problem because men in Southern Sudan believe that a woman’s place is in the house. At the same time, they think that the woman is responsible to bring food to the table regardless of the man’s contribution. According to Wal, Men socialize with men and eat together with men separate from women. In a small family, the husband eats alone or, more frequently; he takes his food and eats with his male neighbors or friends. Some Sudanese men believe that a woman should stay at home all the time and they do not allow them to participate in social activities. Alternatively, some Sudanese women are highly educated in the community and their husband allows them to participate in community activities (Wal, 2004). Women and kids typically eat after the man is fed, and in some occasions the woman remains hungry all night after missing the only meal. Getting out of the bondage and captivity singled a big change and challenge of raising children in America, which, other considered to be dangerous. Though, the uncalculated risks were not known, marriage life ended opening a way to single and happy life which could have never happened in that marriage. With five children and a single mother, life wasn’t fun, but there was no tension growing in the house. Kids listened to one parent with no opposition and life was smooth. Much is unknown, but many say if the hell is doing well, no one knows

what is going on in heaven. This was very true to my family. Jealousness was at its peak to the extent some people wanted to deny my kids and I the privilege to enjoy life in April 2005. My eyes open wide enough and new that danger was right there, what will happen to my kids if I die? My joy went out of the window as fear entered through the door. Again a police was called, and an order of protection was initiated. Does this help? The conflict in the Sudan has greatly affected the family institution, causing changes in the family structure and roles between men and women, which were not in existence in the past. Women have become breadwinners and caretakers. They have been forced to assume more responsibilities and many women feel overburdened. Many Sudanese cultures consider a woman as the junior partner in a marriage. Whatever a woman possesses is regarded as belonging to her husband and his family. In the past this protected women because they were assured of a functioning extended family structure (Khalifa, 1988; Wal, 2004). Many men today are not exception to this, they feel like they are loosing their wealth and control, so the order of protection in my community doesn’t work or matter and they risk it all the time leading them in trouble. Domestic violence within the South Sudanese community is common, and women with their children are the victims of this. In Southern Sudanese culture women are expected to be disciplined by their husband after they leave their parent’s home. And in Sudanese society it is the husband’s responsibility to discipline her. This discipline is not a real discipline but brutal punishments, which include emotional abuse, psychological, physical, economical and mental abuse. Most Sudanese women respect their culture and their relatives and sometimes they think of their children, and that’s why they remain in the marriage. Most of the time a woman will think of what will happen to her kids if she leaves the house? Many women prefer to put up with domestic violence for the sake of their children (Wal, 2004). And some women look at that life as the only life due to cultural and ignorance about life and future of their family.

Positive life

Life can be the way each one wants it to be, in most or all cultures, childhood is mostly the responsibility of our parents and they can be crucial in shaping ones future life. This can be very useful in adulthood because one has already established a foundation for future life. It can also be the opposite way if one’s parents decided that a foundation of life wasn’t their priorities in life that is where the trouble begins. In most African communities and cultures, parents are the key pillars of life, education and future, which include marriage and a family life. Having parents of good character matters in these communities and their wisdom in cultural counseling cannot be underestimated in our lives. After a foundation of life has been decided for a child by the parents, meaning, you have been born, feed, sent to school and now you are 18 years, this becomes your primary responsibility to improve your life or remain with what your parents have given you. Making these decisions is making a progress in one’s own future, which could bring happiness or turn happiness into sorrow forever. Being positive in life comes with appreciation of who you are, what you are and what you can do for your self, this means to make positive changes in ones life, there needs to be a clear understanding of the how you want to be? Realize your dream, lay out a working plan, find means to put them into action, and do not follow or keep bad habits. Most “bad habits” come naturally, or easily. We do them without even thinking. So, to make changes, that is to say, turn bad habits into good habits, requires effort. and lots of effort. We naturally tend to avoid effort where ever and when ever we can. Using powerful positive thinking techniques, visualizations and positive affirmations, it is possible to achieve whatever you want. There are many ways to keep positive about your life, here a few thoughts that could make you see or feel positively,

➢ Changing your thoughts can change your life by finding new ways and dreams ➢ Looking at the effect of thought on circumstances around you and what you can do

➢ Thinking about the effect of things you do on your own health e.g. heavy alcoholism, smoking that may result in undesired end of COPD or cirrhosis ➢ Thinking of how thoughts influence achievement, see examples and role models around you

Being positive not only grants you the opportunity to look far beyond your pain, it also helps you not to fall into depression and being withdrawn from others and regression. Many women and men have found happiness by changing their life style, getting education which may include vocational training, considering more choices in life beyond one’s comfort zone, being committed to their goals and maintaining a positive attitude towards themselves and appreciating their accomplishments. Others seek for help in the communities, groups and resources centers. Some look up to best role models and learn how to adapt to a new life style. Although there are no recent or any research done in the last 30 years within the South Sudanese communities after the last 3 wars, the gaps of self-esteem and finding role models for youth remains unexplained. Much has been attributed to war trauma for many especial children who have grown only in the war environment. Therefore, the perfect role model for these groups may be a soldier instead of looking up to a profession. Another one’s personal role model may be a perfect looter of the country’s money who is rich and surrounded by many women. This alone tells a lot about war victims and the constant life in this environment, which has changed the mind setting and desire for a better change. In today’s 21st century, we continue to see South Sudan lag behind its other countries in Africa and it nearest neighboring East African countries, Sudan, Egypt and Libya. As of recent before and during the 2 ½ year civil war with itself, South Sudan has witnessed the highest influx of foreigners working and holding its internal organs. These included the Ugandans, Kenyans, Ethiopians, West Africans and even Arabs. This was mainly because these youth who have constantly been victims of war are lagging behind in careers, professions or any ethical standards to lead or maintain the current status quo of the so-called sovereign state of the Republic of South Sudan. These would have not happened if the youth had good role models especially in the areas of education and success associated with

education. These would have also been prevented if the country had implemented a peace and reconciliation process to heal the previous trauma and abate return to a senseless war killing its own citizens and creating more traumas. Talking to many youth and man mainly in the US who have difficulties holding jobs; may blame the past trauma while few think they have been subjected to continues pain that deprives them from living there life fully as humans and citizens of their original country. Though no documentation has been done, many South Sudanese men in US have no jobs or any intention to do so either because they have no skills or lack self-esteem to be out there and face the reality of workforce challenges. Each communities needs a safe base, set of values and home to allow them grow to their potential. As a South Sudanese origin myself, I was born during the war and grew up during the war. Like many other children, my kids have been born during the war and the war is still going on now in 2016 with no promise for peace. The youth in South Sudan want to look up to their own as role models such as educators, civic leaders, mothers, fathers, clergy, peers, and ordinary people in everyday life. This would help them regain selfesteem and peruse their dreams of one-day becoming what they want to be. I believe that we can inspire each other and especial the young to become leaders of tomorrow in our community. Role models show ion and ability to inspire for their work and have the capacity to infect others with their ion. Many students appreciate their teacher’s role in their education, the ion the teachers bring to class, the dedication they show and the ability to inspire the students go beyond and above. They are always trying to give back to the next generation and it really inspires many people. Role models are not self-focused, instead they are open to inspire many and empower many for the future. They are usually active in their communities, freely giving of their time and talents to benefit people. Role models are people who show others that success is possible. The worst of all is having negative influence on your life by the environment or modifiable factors that can be eradicated to keep you focus. Many people have found it useful to keep friends with dreams than keeping non-challenging friends who can only offer you no more than empathy during your journey.

Self esteem

According to one definition (Braden, 1969), there are three key components of self-esteem:

➢ Self-esteem is an essential human need that is vital for survival and normal, healthy development. ➢ Self-esteem arises automatically from within based upon a person’s beliefs and consciousness. ➢ Self-esteem occurs in conjunction with a person’s thoughts, behaviors, feelings and actions.

Self-Esteem Theories

The need for self-esteem plays an important role in psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, depicting self-esteem as one of the basic human motivations. Maslow suggested that people need both esteem from other people as well as inner self-respect. Both of these needs must be fulfilled in order for an individual to grow as a person and achieve self-actualization. Self-esteem is a way one views themselves in the family, community, society and their daily lives. Self-esteem is how we value ourselves; it is how we perceive our value to the world and how valuable we think we are to others. Self-esteem affects our trust in others, our relationships, and our work – nearly every part of our lives. Positive self-esteem gives us the strength and flexibility to take charge of our lives and grow from our mistakes without the fear of rejection. High self-esteem benefits are many and countless when a person feels

good with himself or herself. They are confident with what they are capable of and sees themselves as a person worthy of other people’s respect. Meanwhile, Low self-esteem is a debilitating condition that keeps individuals from realizing their full potential and self worth. A person with low self-esteem feels unworthy, incapable, and incompetent in fact, because the person with low self-esteem feels so poorly about him or herself, these feelings may actually cause the person’s low self-esteem to plummet further. A person with low esteem may feel that their opinions and ideas do not matter and that they don’t deserve other people’s recognition. High self-esteem is not only important to children but to adults as well. Self-esteem can be developed by personal relationships, individual experiences, and by own thoughts. Self-esteem is often seen as a personality trait, which means that it tends to be stable and enduring. Self-esteem can involve a variety of beliefs about the self, such as the appraisal of one’s own appearance, beliefs, emotions and behaviors A well-developed self esteem promotes mental stability, assertiveness, and many more life appreciation including family life and acceptability and tolerance.

Signs of positive self-esteem:

Confidence, Self-direction, Non-blaming behavior, An awareness of personal strengths, An ability to make mistakes and learn from them, An ability to accept mistakes from others Optimism, An ability to solve problems, An independent and cooperative attitude, Feeling comfortable with a wide range of emotions, An ability to trust others, A good sense of personal limitations, Good self-care, The ability to say no to things that may be harmful to you and others around you.

Signs of low self-esteem:

Negative view of life, Perfectionist attitude, Mistrusting others – even those who show signs of affection, Blaming behavior, Fear of taking risks, Feelings of being unloved and unlovable, Dependence – letting others make decisions and

fear of being ridiculed

How can one adapt to high self-esteem

Feelings of low self-esteem often build up over a lifetime, and letting go of ingrained feelings and behaviors is not an easy task. It may take time, hard work, and it may require professional counseling. But there are some simple, positive thinking techniques that can be used to help improve self-esteem. These are called affirmations. Affirmation is a positive self-talk, that’s why it’s a positive way to help increase self-esteem e.g. I have made a mistake, but now I have leant from it and will do better next time. By doing so one can turn their own thinking positively and accomplish their goals with much high success than expected, it will also help one stay focused on their main goal in a real world’s journey to best life ever. Knowing these signs of low self-esteem can be a tool for other people to help their struggling friends, families and co-workers find help and succeed in life that is worth and valuable.

Challenges to success

“Challenges make people strong” (icandi ka ba’imba) is a say in Ma’di language, but one would wonder how? Real life is the simple version of experimenting the world; it could be learning to achieve one’s goals, education to have a job security, a position to satisfy self or richness to care for a family you love. Does this all come free? For one to be independent, capable, perfect, and able to control his/her surroundings, many challenges have been there and might have defeated them with hard work and a positive attitude towards the world daily. For some lucky and very fortunate, life is possible at any time. These are the people who start off with the right education, resources, fortune, riches or inheritance from a rich family. Though many experiences tell that life is a journey, some have accomplished it from birth and all they will do is enjoy it and then destroy it. There have been so many great examples of rich people on this world who have become abundantly rich or what the Americans say filthy rich with hard work. These include persons like Bill Gates who stated as an and later on become a multi billionaire. Other examples include a very well known powerful lady Oprah Winfrey, an African American that has made it to the top riches with hard work and has many employees in the United Sates and Africa serving many people under the umbrella of charity. Oprah has even built a very nice well equipped girls school in South Africa as a symbol of African decent and her love for her country of origin. Like wise Hillary Clinton secretary of the United states run for the position of presidency in the United States when no one thought that a woman could run and contest for this seat so early in history. This was possible because of her education and record of working and strong leadership skills and experience for so many years. Had she been not educated, she would have not even had the chance of coming near or attempting to run for presidency. The most Historic was our own Barack Obama who hailed from a Lou tribe as a first African/Kenyan generation in the United States and made it to become the first black president of the USA. This was possible because he worked very hard for it though a single mother raised him, he was focused and went to the right school, college and at the right time he was the image of change in US. Today,

he has made it possible for any African American born in the US to be educated and run for presidency without reservation. All these accomplishment have not been free of any price, nor without obstacles. Each step of success has an equal odd of challenge, the trick is to remain calm and be persistently focused on your goals to fulfill your dream. In Southern Sudan, the first women that become a governor (Honorable Mrs. Agnes Lokudu) during the civil war of Southern Sudan and Sudan become a governor because of education and hard work that paid off. There is no doubt (Branden, 1969) (Maslow, 1987) (Kahne & Sporte, 2008) (Price-Mitchell, 2010) that could have been an accident in the midst of all the oppressing African men of those years. Her ability to lead during the war knocked out a military governor Saturlino Arika in Central Equatoria known by the name Bahr El Jebel in those good days. This positive role later led the second woman to become a governor in western Equatoria State Honorable Mrs. Jemaah Nunu in the 21st century. Other positive role models in women working had are seen around the globe in countries like Liberia where the first woman president become such an important figure due to comion, care and service to her country men and citizens. Today Liberia is doing very well under the leadership of woman who could have not made it to that chair without education and hard work. Tanzania one of Africa’s poorest country has now become a tourist place due to hard working women who have dedicated themselves to make their country a better place for their children and the next generation to come. Personally, my story is not so different from the people who have become the multimillionaires, on arrival to US, a land of my dream; I was faced with a multitude of challenges. With five children and a husband, life could have been sweet but it was not for me. Life went to its peak and marriage became a chore. I decided to file for a divorce with and order of protection all in one day and paid $ 360.00 (only three hundred and sixty US dollars) to the superior court. My husband was then officially served and he left the house since he did not own anything in there and did not pay rent. Four days latter, I went to school in a Community College in Summer 2004 and started taking classes. The advantages of returning to college was great because it prevented the time spent crying for the broken home and save me from getting depressed. This was the start of my success and with hard work through many years of sleepless nights, working full time and raising five children, I realized my American dream that I was longing for with an outstanding degree in BSN, then Masters of Science in Nursing (MSN) with specialty in Acute Care Nurse Practitioner (ACNP).

REFERENCE

Branden, N. (1969). The psychology of self-esteem. New York: Bantam. Maslow A. H. (1987). Motivation and Personality (3rd ed.) New York: Harper & Row. James, W. (1895). Is life worth living? International Journal of Ethics. Khalifa, M. A. (1988). Studies in Family Planning in Sudanese Men. Jstor 19 (4), 236-243. Wal, N. D. (2004). Southern Sudanese Culture. Migrant Information Centre (Eastern Melbourne), 1-10. Weiner, E. (2007). One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the world. Geography of Bliss: Kahne, J. E., & Sporte, S. E. (2008). Developing citizens: The impact of civic learning opportunities on students’ commitment to civic participation. American Educational Research Journal. Doi: 10.3102/0002831208316951 Price-Mitchell, M. (2010). Civic learning at the edge: Transformative stories of highly engaged youth. Doctoral Dissertation, Fielding Graduate University, Santa Barbara, CA

CHAPTER 2 Empowering women and girls

WOMEN AND GIRLS are the backbone of the world and many cultures where women and girls carry out more daily activities than their counter parts the male brothers. According to Woodbury, girls and women accomplish 70% of human work that sustains families, communities and economies pg. 1. (Woodbury, 2010). This report is based in United States of America, which includes most of the States though the author of the Journal is the CEO of the girl scouts in Arizona. Given that study, we could assume that the number may be worse in the third world countries like in South Sudan where I come from for generations. Women have been known to be the burden carriers as well as burden relievers in most communities and societies. It has well been established in clearly distinguished way of gender and gender role division by the culture and the society of each origin. Here are some quotes selected so that we can see what women do and how it affects them.

➢ Seventy percent of the world’s 1 billion people living in poverty are estimated to be women. (International Labor Organization) ➢ Of the world’s 774 million illiterate adults, 64% are women. There are more girls in school today than ever before, but of the 72 million children worldwide who are not in school, 57% are girls. (UNESCO) and (Witt, 2012) ➢ When a country educates its girls, its mortality rates usually fall; fertility rates decline, and the health and education prospects of the next generation improve. (World Bank) ➢ Women work two-thirds of the world’s working hours, produce half of the world’s food, yet earn only 10% of the world’s income and own less than 1% of the world’s property. (United Nations Association of the United States of

America) ➢ Although data varies between countries, around the world women earn on average 20% less than men. (UNICEF) ➢ Many women around the world suffer from low self-esteem. In the U.S., 80% of women are dissatisfied with their appearance and more than 80% of 10-yearold girls have been on a diet, responding to pressure from the fashion industry to look a certain way. Only 8% of women in the U.S. naturally possess the body shape defined by the fashion industry as “ideal.” (Social Issues Research Centre, National Organization for Women) ➢ While women’s political representation is increasing in all regions, women still hold only 16% of parliamentary seats worldwide. (United Nations Development Fund for Women) ➢ Every minute of every day, a woman dies from complications related to pregnancy and childbirth. Almost all of these deaths take place in developing countries, where one in every 65 women risks death in pregnancy or childbirth. This means that ten million women are lost in every generation. (World Health Organization, PSI).

Susan Davis, president and CEO of BRAC USA, notes that the poorest of the poor are “disproportionately female” and “receive the least attention.” (Davis, 2012) And the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women 56th Session’s Agreed Conclusions include the following concerns: “17….That discrimination and violence against women and girls, including sexual harassment and bullying, continue to occur in all parts of the world, including in education and in the workplace. The Commission notes that those are obstacles to the achievement of women’s and girls’ equal access to and participation in education…as well as impediments to the development of their full potential as equal partners with men in other aspects of life, including full employment and decent work. “18…. That women’s education gains are yet to translate into equal access to full employment and decent work, with consequent long-term adverse effects on the development of any society… persistence of high female illiteracy rates and

gender stereo-typed roles of women and men, which inhibit women’s equal participation in employment, leading to occupational segregation, including the widespread underrepresentation of women and girls in many field of science and technology…”(2008) “A lack of toilets in schools means that girls often miss out on their education, as they are forced to drop out as they reach puberty.” (2009), this is the clear link between education of women and girls in a very poorly planned sanitation condition (Witt, 2012). Given all we have read and evidences in this two first pages, we clearly know that women suffer with their children be it a boy or a girl. Our most important role is to empower the women to carry their burden with faith and learn many new techniques to easy their burden in a way that it does not interfere with their culture and dignity. How can we empower women? There are many ways to help empower women and their daughters around the world. Here are some ways/methods others have tried and found it useful. Try these seven ways for women to empower each other and for each of them see they can become a role model for a suffering mother or become a mentor for a young girl.

1. Many women die during pregnancy or at childbirth help train local midwives and traditional birth attendants to help reduce un warranted deaths in your neighborhood or community. 2. A growing poverty concern results in high rate of girls dropping out of school, poor performance, and violence against girls makes it hard for them to achieve their dreams. Mentor a small girl close to your home or village and help her succeed. 3. Violence on women has been over due in many countries including South Sudan; women can be the voice of other women facing these difficulties and who cannot speak for themselves. Be an advocate and communicate women issues to you local counties, state and at governmental levels to prevent greater harm to women. 4. One of the most common reasons girls in poor communities miss schooling is

the lack of clean water in their village. Millions of girls and women spend several hours each day fetching water that’s often dirty and dangerous to their health instead of attending school. Be an advocate and sources of clean water and open the door to education for a young girl. 5. Self-esteem is one of the important characters that shows self-satisfaction and self-actualization, many women lack self-esteem and therefor do not consider themselves worthy. Be a role model and a perfect artist to encourage women be who they are and proud of their role in the society. 6. Empowering women rights is our duty as a community and as a society; this needs to start from our homes, families, workplace and neighborhoods. Acknowledge women suffering and empower them in their daily work. This will provide the women the strength to wake up the next day. 7. Women are very talented people and women need to get together to learn from each other, work together and share thoughts together. “We have learned to swim like fish and fly like birds, but we have not leant to live with each other” Martin Luther King n.d. Help women come together and start small micro business to realize there dreams of becoming a dress making business, chicken farming or opening a day care for kids or adults with disability.

Many other women in the West and European community have ed what I have described for Developing countries, please read more about ways to empower women by Karen Keller at http://karen-keller.com/2011/03/28/10-quick-ways-womenempower/?goback=%2Egde_3724089_member_48826688 These empowerment roles are based on western world perception and reality of life in the western world, which may not be applicable in other parts of the world due to culture, stigma and stereotyping. To many mothers like mother Teresa, life is precious and no time should be wasted while all opportunities are knocking at the doors. Here are some of her nice quotes that can empower women. Life is an opportunity, benefit from it, life is a challenge, meet it, life is a duty, complete it and life is a promise, fulfill it ~ Mother Teresa ~. You can find more on (http://www.motherteresa.org/01_mtc/FAQ.html)

Another good word of empowerment to women was by The First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962), who was a civil rights campaigner for women, human rights and justice. The first Lady who has also authored several books including My Day, You Learn by Living, Timeless and The Defining Years. She was an instrumental woman who loved her self and empowered women to do so.

Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility. For the person who is unwilling to grow up, the person who does not want to carry his/her own weight, this is a frightening prospect ~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

Friendship with ones self is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

Great minds discuss ideas, Average minds discuss events, Small minds discuss people. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

There are also many books that help women realize their own self and realize self-actualization. These books can be found in many sites online, such books include, Don’t Give it Anyway, Peace from Broken Pieces, Yesterday I cried and One day my Soul Just Opened Up by Iyanla Vanzant. On the other token, my personal self-actualization was a dream come true when I finally made that very first and best decision to be free! And not be subject to any human being, not to be a dependent of anyone, to become a hard worker, a devoted mother and a professional. That was a day that I loved my self, credited myself and recognized that I had power in me. It was also that time that I overcame powerlessness; I overcame poverty, fear and pain. It was that time that I became a role model for my children and future generation, but most importantly a time to accomplish my dream, be who I want to be, increase the sense of job and food security, and enjoy the fruit of education. This was not only a dream come true but also a significant one, to my family, the community and me. Who could have thought that a divorced mother with five (5) children could go back to school and reach higher to her goals of attaining a master’s degree of Science in Nursing with specialty in Acute Care Nurse Practitioner and hold a doctorate degree in the United States of America? Yet to be proved, life was at fingertips, the vocabulary of poverty and daily cry was eliminated and the need for job security restored. A taste of life seemed to be alive and self-esteem improved without difficulties in meeting daily challenges of meeting daily demands. Extended families finally had a chance once more to share bread on the table with me and life was good. Though my children were young and I had their sol custody without any second parent, life has become manageable in this great capitalist society. While my long journey took me more than nine years, it was a life turning point compared to many who were inspired but lack the will of going back to the classroom or could not afford to spare sometime for study.

Therefor my personal experience and aspiration to the highest education possible has taught me some lessons just as others did. Here are some tips I have learned on my way to success and they may be very helpful to you as well or other

people you love meet or help across the boarder. You may also want to acknowledge that not all who go to school want to be presidents, nor doctors, nor nurses, nor engineers, no scientist nor a priest. Other have neither goals nor any business in life and keeping their company can drain you to the toilet.

1. Refuse to be a dependent: this will invite you become a hard worker in all ways you can find, including working for what you can afford and making a leaving from what you can afford. Being dependent on welfare, or your partner/spouse dose not encourage independency, instead it just enforces the need to increase inactivity which may lead to obesity and all multifactorial conditions associated with it such as hypertension and diabetes M type two. The dependency a has just bought you two new diagnoses and could lead to three for just laying around. 2. that life is a journey and we have to live it, experience it and enjoy it. Never give up, for many have said that failure is not an option. No matter what type of a boat you are in, God is with you and you will ultimately reach a destination. 3. Appraise your self so that your self-confidence can help you stand stronger and longer, lack of self-confidence leads to dissatisfaction and lack of will to do any thing a normal person like you would do. Envy other women of your age, become jealousy and you will be aspired by them and eventually be uplifted with them. 4. Have a dream and dream big. People who have no dreams are just ing time in this world; they have no real goals and objectives. They live in this world because you and I leave here too, but they are just keeping company of others. Having a dream and making a plan to achieve it is key to living success. Make a plan, goals and objectives to be achieved, stick by it and refuse to be tempered. Write down goals and objectives and how long you plan to accomplish it. 5. Believe in yourself and your abilities to do things listen to your guts and recognize your self-limitation, ask for help whenever a need arises, because pride will not cross you on the other side nor will it buy you professionalism. 6. Be organized and manage time well, lack of organization skills, time management and focus is the one cause of less success or failure. Be

straightforward with your friends and family about what time you can spend with them and why, discuss with your family the importance of focusing on your goals and objectives and sticking to it. 7. Serve your community, you local district or your profession with dignity, what you have done is what you legacy will be. No credit shall be given out to the living and the dead just because you were alive at some point. Contribute to the society positively during your lifetime and that would be your legacy. 8. And finally spare you self some time for retirement/pension. Make money while you are you and retire like a real human being with dignity, enjoy quality of life and care, love for your grand children and all you have in life. In this way you have time to appreciate the world, life and appreciate your contribution to the world.

Chapter 2: (b) Planning Positively

Planning is what people talk about it daily; it’s probably a very important process in nursing that starts with assessment, diagnosis, planning, intervention and evaluation. The free dictionary defines planning as an orderly step-by-step proposal or process to accomplish a goal or a project (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/planning). Thus said, the first stage in planning positively is to assess your own abilities, possibilities and challenges. These will help you identify areas of strength and weakness to education, career and family . For example, knowing if you have a family to care for your kids, or a friend to help if you are caught up is key to success. Knowing that you will work to make a living or depend on some reliable finance is also key, because you may not be able to continue college if you had no roof, no food or even simple transport to work or school. Planning comes after your assessment, depending one’s personal weakness and strengths, one can plan effectively to start a plan of action for any goal or dream. In business, planning could be strategic planning, which would also include evaluation of previous business actions, or programs that are doing well or have been struggling. Depending on whichever method will be acceptable to you, planning can take from 4 weeks to 2 years for a real success. This include the necessary time needed to gather information, understand and interpret them, locate resources, talk to successful people or a role model in the specific area and job outlook for the chosen career or project success rate for the chosen business. My personal planning period was at least longer than 6 months. This was because I was a single parent with 5 kids who needed child care and community some days and I had to work hard in making friends and finding out if they would assist me when in need. Others were mainly job insecurity, luck of resources and emotional as well as psychological stability to steamed from the fallen marriage/dramas resulting from divorce. Time for planning varies significantly and there is no right and wrong. One can use a simple tool to guide them for the specific task or project such as returning to school/college. This kind of checklist/tool will allow you to check off every step after analysis. For

example, what do I want to accomplish in college? Nursing, how long does the program take? 4 years, Do I have resources? Yes or No, Do I qualify for financial aid? Yes/No, and many others.

This below checklist is what I used to plan and complete my goals of returning back to school mother

What do I want to accomplish in college? How long does the program take? Do I have resources? Do I qualify for financial aid? Will I be working to myself/family Are there any previous accomplishments that I can compare What is my job stress like? What are my management skills? Can I manage time effectively? What do I love and what can I give up to make time for my goal?

Do I have kids? How old are they? Do I need childcare? What is the potential cost to childcar

What is the job outlook for Nursing? How much money shall I make per year? Is it worth the

Depending on each one’s answers and assessment, your planning time may be critical. Most nurses and students that I have talked to and known, always thought it was best to get into a community college for 2 years associate degree program then go for the next 2 years for the bachelors program (BSN). My theory or philosophy has been different being someone who went back to college for my BSN and MSN in the 30’s. Lets take this practical example. Many students or parents have waited for ore than 2 years on the waiting lists in Maricopa community college so as to get in a cheaper program, while if they went to any other university, they would have graduated and started making money right away. This just stresses the importance of time in relation to money, life quality and satisfaction in the real economic fueled society with taxes and cost of living dynamic. If I work as a patient care technician (PCT) and make $12-13 an hour, which is about $ 27,000 per year at $13.00 an hour. Now if you work as a PCT for 4 years, you would make $27.000 x 4 = $108,160.00. But if you go to the college or any private institution and get a student loan for 2 years which may be about $ 25-32.000. This amount would seem a lot until you see the math. If you complete a BSN program at this cost, in 4 years you will make an average of $60,000 x 4 = 240,000. Now if you subtract the student loan plus interest, you would still be able to pay the loan, live a better live and job security. As job security is secured, your goals and dreams comes true, your kids, children and partner will have at least 3 days for family time instead of working for 5 days a week to make 40 hours with less pay. This advantage does not come free, but with good assessment, planning and implementation of your individual goals. This small example is for those who would love to see a working formula, for others, its called mental calculation. Again, this planning and time is what will save you time and get you money, the longer and poorly you plan, the more money you loose.

Chapter 2: (c) Hard working

Hailing from a polygamist family with a dozen brothers and sisters and being the eldest in African culture comes with great benefit and disadvantages that are countless. These are often call duties and responsibilities so that you do not feel the load. As a child, growing should have left very good memories with few bad ones, but that can never change what a great African family in the middle of Eastern Equatoria could be. Daily life and going to school was a priority and the best thing we were told so as to be real people in future, but what was the future we were being told about? The future was growth, a good job or career, becoming a responsible person, own a family and bare children. Possibly there were many objectives behind the idea of sending children to school, but what we were told was what we know. For other children, going to school and playing with friends was fun, for others, it was great to be out there and bull the younger ones, but for the other groups, it was just ing time to grow. Large play grounds; different types of games, being around friends and families and using your own native language in school were some of the advantages for us as pupils/students. While school was fun, and all enjoyed school, we all had in mind what we want to be in future regardless of what our parents thought would be best. Growing up, myself and my friends all went in different directions after completing sixth grade at Iriya primary school in Loa which is located at Loa local center number one in Sudan. On hearing our names announced on the radio, we were happy to go to Nimule intermediate school in Nimule. We sat down on the floor for about half of the first year of school because we were the only small girls that were new to a school and not able to neither face anyone nor be in a position to fight. While having fun and fear at the same time, first year in junior school was over and my family moved to Torit where I went to Torit one intermediate school. Life was good and not far from where the war had already started in 1983 in Bor, and Bahr El-gazal region. My father then re-opened Torit Technical school and became the principal there, we loved Torit town and the weather. This town was small by then, most people new each other, less crimes,

lots of bulling in school, wrestling was a skill to learn and the line continues. We left Torit after the war arrive Torit on 3/26/1986 when there was terrible shooting while other students were scattered taking Sudan school certificate exams. It was not fun, but my family all went in different directions only to meet years later. After reaching Juba through a convey from Nimule to Juba, life was terrible living at my aunt’s house, the feature seemed narrow, my parents were not there anymore, and my brother was in the Apostles of Jesus seminary in Rajaf. Dayto-day bread tasted like heaven, though you pay heavily by hard labor to eat, it was not easy to eat after you labored day. One mistake could cause you the only dinner meal for the day. Life wasn’t worth but my dreams and hope kept me going. I went to Loa day high school in the evening, and never had any time to study, of course the traditional lamb used for light to study at night also needs paraffin, which I could not afford to purchase. On contrary, the home we lived in was by far the best home and probably top tear family more than the middle income families of what Africa calls white collar family, yet we lived in despair like slaves.

After all that happened in Juba, then to Egypt and finally to Arizona in USA, I thought life was restored because there were no more gun shots and my culture that looks at young married girls as kitchen slave was over. I said to me self, I will go back to college and do what I need to do until I become successful. I also knew there was going to be major challenges due to my ex-husband as a barrier, but I was determined and did not worry about how long it will take. All I needed was to get started. Education and success became a goal for me to obtain that independency in caring for my family, and myself and also to be the perfect mother of the children I have given birth to. With five children, many questions came to my mind, which I had no answers to, these questions stem from necessary question, which included physiological needs of food, water, housing and love for my family. The next question was about the safety of my children when I go to school. My kids where young and only two where in school and the two barely went to preschool. The third question had to do with the perception of myself, how others perceive me as a southerner and as a mother.

Taking some steps to look and examine things again, I found myself in court, and separated from the father of my children. Five days after separation started my first two classes in college, which were English 111 (critical and creative writing) and Psychology 101. This first and few classes actually served me from getting depressed after the marriage fell apart. This was a huge success and there could have not been anything better than going back to school. The journey of the college classes was horrific; I had to complete my document process from Sudan so as to get my credits transferred to United States (USA), which was costly. After the documents arrived in USA, I had a chance to take my US standardized exams through the commission of graduates of foreign Nursing Schools (CGFNS). This exam was horrible, but manageable. I cried for two days after the results and life continued. After the results was out in 3 months, I was made eligible to take the official National Council Licensure Examination (NCLEX) exam. This was a very traumatizing exam, which took me almost five hours to complete with several breaks. After ing the exams, I thought my doors are finally open and I can finally make money and survive. Yet another major obstacle was still a head of me, which was the state board of Arizona (AZBN). I had no job the next day I went to work, because I had a professional licenses and cannot work as a Patient care technician (PCT) anymore. This was yet a milestone accomplishment, significant in my life and sad at the same time.

First Nursing job and its challenges,

My first job as an RN was challenging yet great in many aspects. Being an RN comes with great joy, value, ability and challenges. The first job as an RN was at a hospital, which was one of the best health care system in the west with more than five hospitals in Arizona. I worked for this hospital and started my BSN program. During my time there, I learnt how to be a team player and work with my fellow nurses. This work environment and great work relationship contributed to my educational and professional growth and resulted in to loving the profession and happiness. The challenges at work made me grow daily and made me strong enough to withstand the career with desire to learn more and do better daily as a professional nurse. Despite my kids were young, the challenge of finding a baby sitter and using 2-3

day cares simultaneously was not easy. I had a day time day care (little swans), a night care (private babysitters and a weekend day care (huger bunch). I also had the help of my elder son who took the responsibility of taking care of his siblings at night while I went to work at hospital. The hospital was close to my home within one-mile distance. I was able to reach my community in of needs and emotional . Though there was no career in my community, it was great facing the challenge of waking up each morning and raising my kids. Though the job was great and the pay at about $ 32.86 per hour, life was not easy as a single parent. I did not have enough and did not qualify for childcare help from the state because I was above poverty level. I mean the state will give you something if you basically have zero. With all the hiccups of being a single mother with five kids in my house under my sole care, I made it to date.

BSN program with its challenges

After working as an RN for about a year, I went to the BSN program at Grand Canyon University in Phoenix Arizona. The program was about 18 months both online and on ground. I met and made many friends, and I enjoyed the classes. This was also another level of challenge in my life because each class had a new challenge in research or evidenced-based practice (EBP). I did well with the college class work as well as a single parent with a fulltime job and family. I slept for 3-4 hours most of the nights, and at times had a sleepless night due to frustration. Working on the telemetry floor at the hospital wasn’t easy, and occasionally, I retuned my lunch home most of the 3 days I worked each week. Though the work was tough, demanding and challenging, it made me strong and able to stand any kind of challenge in clinical nursing practice especially in acute care. At the end of my BSN, I was happy that I completed it and again, I was happy that I was able to accomplish the goals I had set for my self. This step contributed to my life and profession as a whole and for a lifetime. Though the challenges were great, and occasionally depressing with no family , peer and community was great. Many in my community told me to quite going to college because it wasn’t worth it. Many women even encouraged me to stay home so that I can benefit from welfare while I raise my kids. My

common answer was that “I have started it, I must finish it” My motto and goal was to complete what ever I start in life so that I can also show this trend to my own kids and be a role model to them.

MSN and DNP Strategy

Strategies for my education was painful, it included sacrificing my time, hard work, and less sleep. At this point in life, I was well trained in time management, scheduling, sacrifice and prioritizing life demands with job, family and college life. I had to plan when to start my masters and how I could do that. By that time, I had already spent almost five years without watching television or shows. I occasionally watched African movies or listened to news from Africa on Aljazeera and Press TV. Not having other items on my list became normal life for me, such as hair braiding, pedicure or manicure. This lasted another three years because I worked full time and went to college part time and it was a ground cohort class with lecture every Wednesday and clinical rotations. During the 3 years in my MSN, I counted all the days and hours I had. Life was rough, time was against me, childcare was nuts, stress was 150%with migraine headaches from nowhere. This was hell on earth because the demands of the kids increased from the previous ages. Money wasn’t enough, my family demands back home was growing due to lack of security in South Sudan, college work became harder with stress and sleepless nights studying. Another biggest factor that contributed to the stress was the fact the children were growing and attending middle school and high school with sports schedule. Being single, I had to plan to work, study and cook daily, this added to the stress and no helping hand at that time.

When I completed my masters, on my graduation day my youngest baby boy said, “mom I wish you will now have time for us”. I cried that my kids felt that I was always busy and on the go mother. That did not stop me, the desire to work had and ambition to do all I can yet sent me to complete my doctorate (a terminal degree) in less than a year after obtaining my masters degree. After I

started my Doctor of Nursing Practice degree (DNP) summer 2013, I sat down and told my kids that mammy was going back to school for another 18-24 months, and they all answered “again”. On mother’s day, my kids gave me a happy mothers day and it read, “To our busy mother, you are the best”. This gave me tears yet the challenge to complete my DNP and sit down to raise my kids while I watch them grow and go to the college. The only approach that has helped me in my masters as well as Doctorate was to make a schedule and stay on it. I had only 3 ways (a triangle) to live my life in 8 years

1. I worked full time 3 days a week 12 hour shifts and slept for 3-4 hours daily 2. I went to class and completed my home works and clinical rotations in the remaining 3 days in the MSN program 3. I spent some time with the kids, cleaning the house and cooking. 4. I eliminated community activities from my life 5. I forgot about social activities, e.g. pedicure, hair braiding and dating, I was single but not so lonely 6. I had to eliminate things that were not necessary in the home so that we could afford food, and afford to buy books for my education. 7. Luxury was not part of any plan, vocations were reduced and phone calls were not a priority, and some massage to reduce stress level was the game plan

Success When, I got my RN, I thought my dream came true, and getting my NP was my dream came true for the second time. This was the ultimate distinction between hard work, success and labor. I studied very hard with tireless nights writing papers and taking quizzes with 3-hour sleeps while I was a mother and full time employee. On my hooding ceremony day, I thought the world was coming to an end, after all my excitement, we lined up and when my name was called, right in the middle of the podium, my shoes wanted to give out in fear and holding my hood in a specific way for the professor to have it ready, I had no option for the shoes. After the hooding ceremony, family and friends cheered me and we took some pictures, followed by a graduation party in Phoenix Arizona. I was proud to have reached that milestone where only 6% of Arizona residents are graduates. I happily gave myself credit and continued to look for a job. First day at work as a Nurse practitioner was the best day ever, I had the privilege of greeting my patients, talking to staff and doctors and making some phone calls to the labs (Sonora lab quest and lab corps). I also talked to several companies, which included Arizona medical waste management and many others for waste and needle disposal management. I also made several consultative phone calls about billing issues and how to get contracted by Medicare/Medicaid and other third party payers. Finally, I am a boss of my own, I aid to myself. Though, it wasn’t my own clinic, happiness in the making was my progressive dream. A job that I did not have to wake up and rash to clock in, and a job that I could do more for my patients with love and ion, a job that I can make a difference and be able to sustain it with my patients. This increased my self-esteem and desire to face constant challenge in the profession. Though, as a new grad many challenges awaited me, I enjoyed working at Arizona health pros and a healthcare provider and the pay was great. Though success was not very evident, hard work paid off and the success was noticed around me by many well-wishers including family and friends. First, I was the recipient of the NAA “Living Legend Award” of Phoenix College Feb.26th. 2016. Then one news channel wrote about my struggle http://www.abc15.com/news/state/from-sudanese-refugee-to-phd-jane-abuchahas-done-it-all. And a valley newspaper Surprise independent in my home city also wrote about me on the week of my graduation. This can read more about the

story at the site below: From refugee to DNP: local nurse teaches, inspires West Valley By Alison Bailin. http://www.yourwestvalley.com/west-valley/refugee-dnplocal-nurse-teaches-inspires-west-valley/. Then the commencement itself at Maryville University of St. Louis, which was done at St. Charles Family Arena can also be found at the link below; https://www.maryville.edu/commencement/files/2012/04/2016-commencementprogram.pdf. And on Aug.25th.2016, I was honored as a health care hero in education by Phoenix business journal in the state of Arizona. This can be found at this link below http://www.bizjournals.com/phoenix/event/136812/2016/health-care-heroes. These three awards followed the first Daisy award for extraordinary nursing Excellency, which was in 2011 while I was completing my masters in nursing. It can also be accessed from https://www.daisyfoundation.org/daisyaward/honorees/jane-abucha. By the end of the day, success that I worked very hard for was noted and I am humbled to be honored by many and this alone is now a cause of inspiration for me to do more for my community, give more to my people and help as many people as I can which my blessings and nursing skills I have learned. At the end of the day, I still inspire many youth, women and man and many continue to inspire me to work even harder for the unforeseen future. As life goes on, my goal is to build a complete hospital in my village of origin Loa, where there is none. I have also started a clinic and a library project in Loa, which has been current on hold due to the senseless war in South Sudan. The truck that I sent home as the first ambulance in my village is now serving a church and the community which I am proud because the church helps the poor, disabled, victims of this current war and veterans of the previous war with transportation and medical attention. The church also provides hope, spiritual strength and many more.

Dr. Jane Abucha at the “Living Legend award” ceremony 2/26/2016 at Phoenix College in Arizona

“Being a ed nurse, a mother and a professor is more than just a job, it’s a calling, a lifestyle. It’s who you are. You care, it’s a will to help others, by teaching in the College of Nursing, and my goal is to teach, mentor and empower many students to reach their highest potential. And by speaking at the local schools, I can help others like me take their strengths and turn them into a career they can be proud of.” “I hope to take my cap and gown from my doctorate celebration back to my village one day, where I will hang them up in the library as a symbol of hope to serve as an inspiration for other little girls and boys with big dreams,” A small room shall be made as a museum in my father’s memory and what he has brought forth in the world. All my awards will be displayed to inspire and encourage others that with determination and hard work, a dream is achievable. Although nothing can stop anyone from reaching their dream, for many opportunities are lacking, for others, the doors are already locked, for some the environment is not suitable and for the others the influence and inspiration is not seen or realized. These challenges may all be over comed one day, but when is another person’s dream. The current war has destroyed lives and livestock, destroyed human race with dreams, and destroyed the existing infrastructure and has left no hope for many. My prayer is that one-day, the Lord our God will serve the people of Sudan and South Sudan and give them the peace Jesus left his disciples with for the last time he was seen in person on earth according to the Bible.

(d) Satisfaction and appreciation

What is satisfaction? Satisfaction is fulfillment of one’s wishes, expectations, needs, goals, accomplishments and the pleasure derived from hard work (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/satisfaction). Personal satisfaction and group satisfaction varies significantly, and others may define satisfaction differently. There is no right and wrong in one’s personal perception of satisfaction, but what it means to them or how they relate to it. Culturally, my community satisfaction is noticed and experienced when a girl grows up, gets married and bares children; thus satisfaction of life is fully realized in commitment and impressing your parents will. For many women in my country satisfaction is marrying the dream husband that cares and caters for all your needs and your family needs. You live in a big house, drive a luxurious Toyota cruiser or a land rover. Though the culture is still very influential in marriage and family oriented, things have began to change in both positive and negative directions. The most satisfaction is when a girl grows and she is married to rich man, or a royal family where lots of money is paid as the bride price, a big wedding ceremony/party and the whole village witnesses the wedding. This aspect of satisfaction by parents, family and community may or may not translate to the married girl in her new home. In today’s modern life, we look at satisfaction from another angle such as completion of one’s educational level, accomplishments, career, wealth and family. Though quantifying satisfaction is done in many different ways or methods, the end goal is that one feels satisfied with their personal accomplishments, lives according to their preferred standard of living, able to provide for family if any, or at least have total security in of job, money, food and some luxury. On the other hand, appreciation is the least noted. Even the woman or mother who cooks, cleans, feeds and bares a child is not appreciated. Thus increasing the lack of will to do more. Women labor is regarded as the feminine responsibility or job description; hence, no word of appreciation is often heard. Appreciation can simply mean saying thank you to anyone who puts a smile on your face, who offers you

physical, emotional, psychological or food/water and a shelter. These are all basic or physiological necessity yet sometimes lacking in peoples life. Installation of the word of appreciation is key to success and satisfaction in our daily life. For example, if a parent appreciates the fact that their child is working hard to become a better child, the child needs to hear this to boost the child’s moral in school and social life. Though the parents may not be satisfied with the grades of the child, the most significant step comes from this appreciation of the small progress and using it as a power for the next step. Girl child education appreciation needs to be improved and noticed in today’s society. The notion that there was no need for girls to be educated because they will be married and take the education to their husband’s family does not hold water. Again, in the past years in the 1900’s where girls were not allowed to go to school because of financial reasons which has now changed. Today young girls and women take care of their families in the same and equal manner; no difference in help and family is noted between a woman and a man in the homes. The bottom line is that, families need to treat their children equally and send them to school regardless of their gender. Appreciation of each person’s contribution in a family, community and society needs to be noted and this increases the will to do more and be motivated. It also increases the desire to go above and beyond in education, excel in performance and be modest in behavior. On the other hand satisfaction comes from the inner oneself from what a persons perceives is accomplishment. Keeping it positive and ing that aspect in families, community and society not only improves social ties, but also improves self-esteem, moral, and spirit of giving and culture of charity. Though I have been very successful in my entire life through hard work, appreciation or simply a word of thanks is very rarely hard, especially after my beloved father departed. Others felt it was an opportunity to exploit my family for good reasons and that being part of the family is to be an underdog all the times because you are a woman. Though, my marriage failed, it does not mean in any way that I have completely failed social life. Many of my failures in social life came as a result of being loyal to family and subjected to scrutiny that I should have probably rejected earlier.

http://surpriseindependent.com/west-valley/refugee-dnp-local-nurse-teachesinspires-west-valleyhttp://www.abc15.com/news/state/from-sudanese-refugeeto-phd-jane-abucha-has-done-it-all/

Conclusion

Hard work pays off; its benefit can be seen immediately or in a long term. It depends on how unique you are, what are your choices, and what kind of a driver you are for your life. To me, lack of luxury life, self-depravation and selflimitation where key to success. Being a professional skilled worker is very important, for you to be a hard worker, there has to be a job for you, but if there is non because of your choices, create one. Again, to me “hard work is not the same as labor”. Work smarter, find your dreams, ambitions work towards your goal by developing a your own personal strategy and you are off to success. If I could do it being a single mother of 6 and do this in 9 years, you can be more than what I am today.

CHAPTER 3 How to be successful

(a) Mechanisms and resources

MECHANISM AND RESOURCES all mean something different for everyone and what it means for one could be different from the other. Resources are generally needed to complete an action. The Webster dictionary defines mechanism as a natural process by which something is done or a system process by which things can be done. Resource is defined as an actual aide in completing a process. Resources include money, equipment, assets, logistics and manpower that is needed to reach a desired outcome. In nursing, our main resources include manpower such as the charge nurse, swat nurse or the float nurse. Other resources are necessary equipment required to complete a job, project, care, procedure or many others. As a single mother of six children, the resources I needed to raise my kids and go to the college ranged from the minimum of a necessary items required as a basic necessity for physiologically function of life. These necessities where housing, food, water, electricity, transport and to have a job. While many other items where necessary, these were clearly important and I could have not been alive without them. Though these items where important, there was a mechanism to acquire them. The first and main mechanism I had was patience and hard work to be able to earn an income to sustain and maintain life was huge. The method of acquiring the money to sustain life was not easy to get. First you need to be technology literate to apply to several jobs, get an interview, and get the job. While, being black is a major barrier that I had to over come, there is a box that you must check to indicate your race on each paper or electronic application. This box for race is indicated optional, but not checking this box could just mean that you are not on the short list for interview for the job. This obstacle is very big and you have to learn how to deal with it, either you choose to be white to get on the short list or just be black and you will loose the job if you are not a skilled laborer or a professional. This process to get a job may sound hard but actual easier to complete with some degree of success, though your pay may differ from the next employee with no experience who has checked the right box of race. The next step is to maintain

the job to sustain your basic life so that you can now settle and go to college. This is where the nightmare starts, uncle Sam and the financial aid system thinks you make to much money to be poor. They think you should be in a ghetto to beg for help, or if you are that poor, why is education an option for you given you can’t feed yourself and your family? The welfare system that is supposed to aide in this kind of situation asks for your entire life and you first unborn child and deny you at the end. This welfare is supposed to be a resource system that s those who are in temporary need to get back on there feet. It’s even absurd that the state claims to help but many non-profit organization are doing better than that including the St. Mary’s food bank in Arizona. For one to be stable at home and start a career, one must have food for their family and also a full stomach. This means that you are dedicated to look for food first as a basic nessecity, then seek for education. Any available resource for this aim or goal becomes a great asset to you. In my case, my major resource to enable me return to college, feed my children and pay my tuition was student loan and some food from St. Mary’s food bank and J. C. Linchon food bank. Though I had a full time job, I was living one paycheck away from being homeless. The check at the end of the month is to pay the mortgage and car payment and insurance, this check was done. The second check pays the electricity, water and trash, cable, home phone, internet and cell phones and lastly food and kids items needed for school. Others included sending money home to Sudan for family, other community and church contributions, and funerals incase someone dies here. These were all regular expenses that were unavoidable. On one hand, financial aide comes handy with subsidized and unsubsidized loan with interest of 6% or 6.8%. This loan can sustain your education till you are done but they are also a complete pain. They can call you almost 3 times a day knowing that you are still in college only to ask you start paying the interests. They make sure to keep you under stress in order to start paying them while your kids have no food. This student loan is an available resource in the system that many can take advantage of to help them improve their lives, reach their potential and live the American dream. Although student loans are great way to realize your dream, it is also a gate way to your grave. You will also learn quickly that you have to sign many papers to get it and all this information collected from you is to keep you on spot light whenever you have a check so that they get half of it. In my early years of going to college, I did get some pell grants but wasn’t sufficient enough to even go a mile so I had to get a student

loan. The real question is, “can we pay all these loans?” because the principal balance remains the same no matter how much you pay, ask me and I will tell you those people are a pain. The best way to borrow a minimum loan is get a scholarship, this was harder for me because of my age (I did not complete high school in US and military refused me too), and my income as a ed nurse. Though I counted myself living below poverty level, the welfare system thought I had a house and a car therefore I did not deserve it. After walking out the building, I noticed many people who receive the welfare benefits were driving the best cars, carrying the best cell phones, they smoke and drink alcohol too with the aide they get. To my amusement, they are allowed to purchase burgers at Jack in the Box in Arizona with signs all over saying “we accept EBT here”. Another big resources that we don’t often realize are our families and community . We sometimes take this for granted, and this is mostly found in high context cultures such as within the people of color. This resource is the greatest asserts the people of color have and is under utilized because of the American freedom. Some African descendants, Asians and Middle Eastern (Arabs) and Spanish descendants including Latino have few family or more. Living in a community has many benefits that can aide ones life and success. For example living with your parents until you graduate from college saves you extra money for your goals, or sharing an apartment or a house with several others or friends saves you money, stress and depression because you will be able to share your happiness, pain and sadness. This added features are mechanisms that help most of the African people living abroad especially in the western world because they do not have a close family. In my case, identifying these resources and using them effectively was key to my early education in the US. My family was key because I could not do without it. My kids were still young, and I had four kids below the age of 8 years when I was divorced. My elder son Robert Mark was only 14 years old and he had to help me baby-sit his brothers and sisters with the youngest being two-and half years old. I had to swallow my pride of being capable to care for kids and myself and ask for help when needed. My brother Martin was also of great help, an asset and resource that I would have not succeeded without him. He was able to provide my kids and me the emotional needed and counseling for my kids when mommy was out daily. Martin was able to advice my elder and show him what manhood was because I couldn’t have been a male figure in his life.

This role was significant for me and my success because of the role my son Robert played in the home in my absence daily At the age of 16-17, my son Robert had to sleep with his siblings at home at night while I worked at night at a hospital for almost 2 years and went to school for my BSN. The community was very instrumental in my education too. One of the biggest the community provided for me was baby-siting my kids, this was key for me to attend classes and complete my homework. One of the most helpful ladies in the community whom I met shortly after my arrival was Eve Hilary. She comes from South Sudan, a war torn country were I hailed from too. Eve whom we call mama Eva was able to help me by watching my four kids when ever I went to the college to attend classes. Fear was to its fullest going through divorce and being warned constantly that the US government child protective services (S) collects children from their parents if found alone in the house. My ex-husband was also after me so that he could find faults in me so that he could take away the kids from me. Eve Hilary served my family and me dearly, and her kind service cannot go unrecognized. Thank you mama Eve.

(b) Systems available

What people call as system or as generally may differ in a wide range. Some think about in of money, some as material and others anything else in kind. Other people offer emotional and psychological , which is also very essential for life existence in this world, more so especially in the western world due to the stressful life compared to the African continent at large. Some people’s system include only the close family, others have a wide area to get from. These could be from the family, extended cousins and nephews, church , friends, community and even strangers. These group of people who reach out for these kind of are usually extravagant and can survive any where at any time because of their ability to stand up and ask for help when needed. When I was going to college and needed help, I did examine what I needed at that time and what I needed daily. I also looked it what was absolutely necessary and what was not. This helped me to draw a line and look for the help I needed today. As soon as I knew what I needed the next step was to find out where I could possible find that help. I had no problem letting my ego and pride go, so I always asked for help when I needed it. Having a plan and drawing a visual map helps you in the right direction but in no way does it reach your goal of getting help. It also means you need to have plan A and plan B. I rarely succeeded in plan A, so I had plan B handy and it was always a life server. This does not mean that I always got the help I needed easily, or got it, but it says that it doesn’t hurt for trying. Though I counted my luck and all the stars I could count each night I lay on my bed alone meditating, I would safely say that I did get help a quarter of the times I asked. I also had a very ive community and a church that ed me in multiple ways. In my case, friends offered me the emotional and psychological help I needed, the church offered me hope and spiritual help and my kids ed me and gave me a shoulder to cry when I wanted to cry. These basic types of systems are found in humans, as such, one could get it depending on the circumstances around you or the lifestyle you live. For example, if you live an individual lifestyle or community lifestyle, those factors

have a greater influence on you than your inner perception of your self. This does not mean that you allow others to define you and your identity, but it does show who you are and the people around you can choose to you or refuse to you. I would like to encourage everyone to look at him or herself and count themselves as a to their siblings, extended African families, Latino families or Middle Eastern families. This rich culture that embraces community lifestyle is in it’s self a system that is very helpful. For example, the little help that you get from your family member such as a place to sleep of food to eat may save you from depression or suicide. Many refugees live this live in the Western world and those who have type A personality are either living is despair, prisons, are homeless, or returned home because they could not catch up with life here or are mentally disabled and on social security benefits. Many have also become alcoholics in order to handle their shame but end up in the same previous group homeless or dead.

(c) Education and its challenges

Happiness is what one wants, and how one wants to peruse it. Many people view happiness as a right while other view it as a privilege. Happiness that stems from having a clear goal or vision in life makes it easy for a family to work through it and make it a real dream. Having a dream and a realistic picture of what your life or feature will look like is the most important goal in life. Setting a goal for one-self is the first step in reaching success though many have made it in different ways such as the real estate mogul Donald J. Trump who insulted his way to becoming the Republican nominee for President in 2016. He inherited millions or billions from his father according to CNN, though he says it was one million dollars, others like me inherited nothing or debts instead. Going back to the college in adult age is one of the most painful decision one has to take and for. This is especially difficult for those who are already parents and have to provide for their family regardless of being a female, male, single mother or single father. It does take a toll on you because of all you have to do already and now add something new to it with all the unexpected challenges of education. This can also vary among the same groups for examples among single female parents or single male parents. All in all, you have to set up a goal, a plan and start action on that plan. In my case, my plan to go back to the college was to become an RN again, have a job and care for my kids. I had no other intentions because of my limited form my ex-husband who was then still a husband. It was extremely difficult for me to realize that dream because he wasn’t ive of it and I had not family in the decision at that stage. So I waited to become a resident of the state of Arizona, which according to the law is one year. Exactly one year and 7 days, I went to the court, filed for a divorce and went to the college the next day and ed for classes. My first ever classes in US were critical writing 111 and psychology 101 in summer 2004. Four days from our official separation from the same roof, I was a student in the class, instead of spending time crying and becoming depressed, I spent time on reading and completing homework. I turned all the negative energy that came with the separation and eventually divorce after several years in to great advantage and hope. That single

decision in my life was like a “flashing penlight in the dark”. I over came all my fears and had hope and faith in my God. Though I was a single mother of 6 kids, five in US and one back home in Sudan, I was determine to make life possible in every way possible be it hard skilled work or more studies to earn me what the American call blue collar job or what Africans call as white collar job. It was obvious the road was long and the path was narrow but I was determined to start the journey. This was the starting point of my American dream come true. What are goals? Goals are simple ways or methods of a focused way of accomplishing a dream. Some people use proper documentation of what they want to do in a year, 2 years or 3 years. Others use simple sticky notes placed on the fridge or anywhere visible to allow them see it daily. In my own case I was situated in many ways, firstly, my divorce played a role in my educational success. This was not a planned intention, but at the end of the day, being a single mother allowed me to have time for myself, my kids and for my education. It also allowed me time to spent time in the library instead of cooking for a husband, it allowed me to have my books on the bed as I slept on one side of the bed year round. The second step in becoming successful is to be focused and work through it daily. For example, if you want to complete college in 3 years as a part-time student, be focused to that only. In my case, I always went to school part time from my undergraduate as part-time. I was able to work full time, and go to college part-time, to remain focused, I removed everything from my plan, a had a fixed plan and did not allow much distraction from my goal. I removed luxury from my life, which included watching movies, braiding hair, dres for occasions and enjoying holidays or vacations. This sacrifice allowed me to remain focused and not be much distracted. The third step in becoming successful and to reach my goal was remaining consistent on my goals/plan. In addition to being focused, I had to remain consistent despite all the sufferings, the loneliness, the hardship and above all being in a foreign land with no immediate family and community . I was faced with many challenges during my years going to college, my kids were young, and with the youngest being 2 and ½ years when I was divorced. My eldest son was who was 13 years old was able to sleep with the kids when I had to work at night so that I could afford to pay my rent and pay other bills. My regular paycheck was not able to make a living after my divorce, but the food bank at John C. Lincoln was able to give some food boxes to allow

me feed my kids. I had sleepless nights, and slept almost 3 hours every night. I was determined to complete my education and become a graduate nurse in the next 4 years despite all my sufferings. Though this was the case, I was able to remain consistent on my goal of completing my undergraduate and become a successful Baccalaureate ed nurse (BSN) meaning bachelors of Science in nursing. The forth-practical step to reach my goal was to believe in myself and have selfconfidence that I can do it. I believed that I could complete my bachelors, complete my masters and achieve my American dream. I knew very well that I could do it and I was capable of doing it because if many others could do it, I can too. My self-esteem was key in keeping me together and to allow me become the person I wanted to be. I cried every night after work because I was tired and had to complete assignments in time, discussion questions and group assignments in time. This stress was a very big challenge but did not destruct myself esteem and believe in myself. Last step in becoming successful for me was the from my children and my best friend. My children were a big part of my success; they were in the day care while I went to school. I had them in private nanny care at multiple homes, when I had to work late at night; I also had a private nanny at my home between 2005-2006. This was a sacrifice from my children and it gave me the courage to complete my education. On one hand, my best friend Ladu Artema commonly known as Taban provided some encouragement, social and emotional in some days when I needed it. Taban was a good friend and he lived in Minnesota, which was about 3-4 hours flight by air. He was not only a distant friend but visited often some years since knowing him. The only , which was difficult to obtain, was a shoulder to cry on, given I was single and had no physical and financial what so ever my entire life in USA.

My personal reasons for pursuing my DNP

There are many reasons that made me personally peruse my doctorate and these were mainly:

1. To become that expert clinician for my patients. I have always wanted to do more and do better when I can for my patients and that will motivate me to learn and know more. 2. To be able to transfer the skills I leant home in my own village I come from in South Sudan. I come from a small village called Loa and it has about 20,000 people, there is no health center, no clinic and no hospital in this area. Our people have to travel for 27 miles to see a doctor at a local town or 120 miles to the nearest city to be itted if you need that. Therefore my ion is to learn what I can do best in my capacity, because I may work with limited equipment. I need to know how to manage many common disease e.g. manage and tap ascites or diagnose and manage portal HTN with equipment or limited equipment. 3. I want to be able to teach other nurses to become future providers and future nurses. I have had the opportunity to be trained, and I hope I also get the opportunity to train the future nurses. 4. Become financial independent and raise my standard and quality of living including my own children. And also gain academic and social status and live the world with confidence as I reach my goal of self-actualization. 5. Lastly transition home to accomplish my dream of being an American and build Loa Medical Center, a Family Library, a technical college and a heritage Center.

My personal barriers to my goal of education and happiness;

These barriers were many and a real challenge, they included;

1. Family : Having a family is very important and essential for educational growth; it provides, emotional, physical, psychosocial and spiritual

. Being a single mother raising five kids in US, life was hell. I had to place four kids in the day care center to enable me go to work and school, however, I paid the money earned to the day care. Moreover, I used several day cares, one during the week, one at night, and one on the weekends. Therefore, family towards my education was very limited and my own kids provided this limited . Being the only person in the family who went to health care career, there was no one to proof read my papers, edit or make corrections to help me out. I had to read my papers aloud to my kids who were very uninterested at times. 2. Financial ; though I had been working full time, my pay was only enough to meet day-to-day expenses, I was dependent on student loan for my educational needs and its already breaking my heart because I have to probable pay student loans back my entire life. This is especial hard if you have to pay everything you need from housing, food, clothes and medical bills 3. Culture: cultural barriers are many, most of the men in my community do not want an educated woman, woman are seen as properties of man after marriage because the man pays a dowry(bride price). Therefore, its very unlikely for married women in my community to advance their education. If you do, then it is only you in it. The man will likely not you, and divorce may be at the door. And the community perception towards educated women is very negative. This was a very difficult challenge, but given that I was single, I was able to overcome some but the perception of educated women are bad and will always be there for many generations until some change comes. 4. Citizenship; Coming from another country is another barrier; I would have completed my education a long time ago if I was born in US, because, I would have had a solid foundation. I do not have a parent here, no grandmother/father, or close families that can me incase I do not work for a month. And I cannot even bring my mother here because of visa issues. Therefore, I had to do it all on my own. Becoming a US citizen did not even help much, the only time a US citizen helped was the ability to get a student loan and when I had to be evacuated form south Sudan in Dec. 2013 due to the more than 2 years senseless war. I had to pay the fee triple times than what the actual cost of transportation form Juba airport to Jumo Kenyatta airport in Nairobi Kenya.

CHAPTER 4 Engaging women and girls

a. Women in public sectors and organization

AS A SOUTH Sudanese woman, I would say that I am proud to be a woman and many woman are proud to. We have always stoop behind our man regardless of the situation in good or bad. There has always be a huge stigma about women in public sector, this stems from educational opportunity, work force, rights and entitlement. Women in our country have been regarded differently and held in a different way with polarized stigma and stereotypes. Traditionally in the early 1900’s, many women in Sudan were stay home mothers what we call in Juba local Arabic “rabbit menzil”. This was because the community and culture viewed a woman’s place in the kitchen or housework. The cultural labor distribution and spelling out of responsibilities did not allow young girls to go to school and get basic education. Young girls were required by default to help their parents in housework and baby-sitting. Parents would prefer to pay a male child to school and keep the female child at home to baby-sit the younger children. Because of all these early disadvantages the women had no to little way of being out in the public sectors or even working side by side with their man counterparts. Later in the 1960’s -70’s, child girl education awareness increased and may parents started to sent their girls to school despite the same stigma that educated girls are city girls and city girls are not good or prostitutes because of their dressing and civility. To date, this stigma has been following women in the public sector and govermental jobs. Women are interviewed differently, often jobs given to them are jobs other don’t like. Other employers choose to conduct final interviews in the neighborhood in order to exploit the women before offering them position. These kind of behavior that has been practiced by many man has never been punished, though human rights have full knowledge of the intensity. These vulnerable women then have no voice in the public due to shame and the need for continues employment, this often overshadows the credibility of the person and affects women interest in public sector jobs. When I became a nurse in Juba, nursing job was regarded the worst of dirty jobs that could only be done by poor women. The community and the culture viewed the nurses as those who are useless and often characterized them to be having

affairs with doctors on duty at night. The public as negative viewed even talking to a doctor regarding a patient condition. This perception about the nurses affected communication about patient care, which was already suffering because most nurses did not want embarrassment, so they did not have communication with doctors while at work. Though no research was conducted at the time to show how much the community generalization and stigma affected patient care; I would say that it was very grave. I many situations that resulted in poor patient outcomes and even death due to lack of nurse-doctor communication. This was in 1992 when one patient was itted to the first class word in Juba teaching hospital. The patient was found to have Malaria with a severely altered mental status. The attending physician in the hospital ordered treatment, which was istered to the patient by the nurse on duty in the evening shift. Two hours later, the family brought in their own family doctor who then ordered another medication in the same class to be istered to that same patient. The nurse did not question the order for many reasons; a) the physician was a male doctor and she was not in any position of talking to him in private because of public stigma, b) she did not question the order because poor doctor-nurse relationship because the man always viewed the women as inferior to them, c) the stigma of the community that the nurses are useless people and prostitutes, d) because the doctor was a family member of the patient and did not even take time to review the patient chart and orders written already and istered. Because of the above reasons, the nurse did not communicate and the patient died. This break down of communication attached to the culture of the people and the stigma led to poor patient outcome and death. This type of situation happened several times and many patients died or had poor outcomes. The current generation of girls and women have enrolled in both public and private schools, they also work and pay bills. They continue to push for equal representations in the public arena and try to improve the women image by rejecting the past and the public perception. Though this is a positive way forward, women in the public sectors are still less than 25% and the transitional constitution of South Sudan allocated women 25% in the government and all private sector employment which still remains a mystery. The way forward is that women need to send their children to schools equally as male children. Women need to be involved in their children’s education and reject early marriage of girls as called by and accepted by the culture. For women to accomplish this, many or most women need empowerment. While this is not an

easy road, women can use their power of voting to influence laws and prevent policies that inflict pain on them.

b. Women in politics, law and development

Women role in education of the 21’st generation

The recent 20 years in some African countries has been an eye opener and some countries have had first female presidents in Africa before the first world such as united states of America (USA). As the other countries continue to refer to Africa as the third world countries, Ellen Johnson Sir leaf became Africa’s first female president in 2006. This gave women the confidence and the ability to lead and participate in politics. In Sudan and South Sudan, many females have served as ministers, and governors during the 2 civil wars of the country. One important lady who was the governor of Bahr El-Jebel state in South Sudan was Agnes Lokudu Loro. The term Agnes served as a governor was during the 21year civil war between the south and northern Sudan. She took office from a powerful man called Satrulino Arika from eastern Equatoria state. Today and in today’s real world politics, women in South Sudan still lack behind their male counter parts. Though many women are well qualified beyond and above such as Jane Edward PhD, female self-confidence has not translated in to the political world. The politics continue to be dominated by the men and most of those men that dominate the political area not even better educated than the women but they have self-confidence and are encouraged to assert themselves at a social level. Education of women continues to rise and improve in many areas, and women in professional areas are still controlled by the men who are politicians. The worst and noticeable issues in job search and employment for the many qualified and unqualified women is men. Many men in authority or recruiting women tend to abuse their powers by using them negatively against women. They try to complete job interviews outside the office in order to gain control of their bodies and mind to control them. Many women have fallen victims and continue to be victims of this because they need the job and lack the self-esteem and confidence to stand up to the man. Though women can be employed by merit and qualification, they continue to be behind the man all the time in South Sudan.

One-way of empowering our women and youth in the political areas is education and awareness of what they can do and capable off doing. Many women know what they can do and continue to be afraid of there husbands. Women empowerment in the political area is not to undermine families and marriages but to strengthen family relationships and raise children in a middle class. Empowering women has been a real challenge in the 21st century, though many organizations exist to aid in empowering women, a lot needs to be done. Some of the organizations such as South Sudan Women Empowerment Network (SSWEN), my sister’s keeper and Darfur women network. These organizations empower and train women to understand their roles in the public and politics and understand their rights. SSWEN was founded in Arizona by Lula Riziq who later on became a minister in Western Bahr-el Gazal state, and co-founded by Jane Abucha who was an RN at the time. The main reason for these organizations was to bring women together and empower them to realize what they can do. Though these organizations existed, many challenges continue to affect the empowerment of women especially in the political area. They tend to identify behind their men e.g. if the man belonged to the Sudan peoples liberation movement, that’s where the woman will be. They continue to believe they belong behind the man and that is what they know. They continue to be afraid to speak their minds because they are afraid that speaking your mind may cause your marriage. This kind of thinking is mostly controlled by fear as many girls are raised under fear in many cultures and are not allowed to do many things that boys are allowed to do. This may translate in real life adulthood. Dr. Gina Barreca Ph.D. talks about the ivity encouraged in girls by our culture and how it feeds directly into the early development of habits of fear. According to a study titled “The Aetiology of Fear,” which reports Masserman’s findings that “A feeling of helplessness intensifies fear while having something to do reduces it.” “In Fiona Gallacher’s “Sex Role Orientation and Fear,” we learn that women reported significantly higher fear scores than men even though their responses did not indicate that female actually experienced greater levels of physiological disturbance; they said they were more afraid than their male counterparts, believed it was true, but acted at least as courageously as the men “Barreca, Gina (2011). There are many things that women can do to enter the political arena and maintain their marriages and families in place. First, women have to go and get

education in any field they want and love to enjoy the rest of their lives. Second, South Sudanese women need awareness that entering politics is not against family life or against any marriage, a job is a job. Third, these women need to understand what they want in life because most women are not sure of what they want but go with the floor. Forth, women need to build self-esteem and selfconfidence because lack of these two can make you under-dog and leave you in perfect fear. Lastly, women need to set their own goals and remain focus to reach their potentials. This is usually very hard as you decide between your goals and caring for a family while you are still in a childbearing age with pregnancy and childbirth. Personally, I have no intention of becoming a politician, but if I do, my hope is to become a leader not a follower in any area. I have spoken my mind for my country when we opposed the draft constitution of 2011 for the good of my people. I have advocated for women rights through several organizations including SSWEN and my sister’s keeper and also participated in advocacy group for conflict resolution management due to the current senseless civil war. Though I have been in sport light in my community, many wish they could be like me and many ire my openness in the community and with peers and colleaques at work. Speaking my mind has earn me many good and bad things including hate by the corrupt politicians in South Sudan because of being vocal about the torture, killings and rape happening in my country of origin. And pride as others look up to me waiting that I will lead or say something about the current senseless killings against women and against humanity. Women in South Sudan need to stand up now and start practicing politics at home, this is important to heal the current trauma from the last 50 years war but to influence their husbands to stop war and look at their lovely families. Women have a choice to peacefully talk their men to lay down arms and refuse to fight shameful wars because the pain inflected on families are not worth. Women also have the power to call on their husbands to stop corruption and bring home clean money to raise kids because the culture prohibits feeding your family with unclean money or having the blood of people in your hands. South Sudan politicians and many government officials not only have unclean looted many but blood on their hands from the many who have died due to negligence, poverty, disease, rape and direct killings under the regime and the opposition in the name of liberation. The entire country has not experienced peace for the last 4-5 decades and there are no signs of stopping it. It’s time that women step in and preach peace, love and unity. It’s time women step in to show and share

leadership skills that they use at home to care for the families when the men are absent or unfortunately dead due to the war. Women such as Agnes Lokudu the former governor has showed that women can not only lead but also manage. Others such as Jema Nunu to former governor of Western Equatoria state has also showed that women can lead and manage including the former governor Nyandeng Malek Deliech of Warrap since 2010 and many other women in politics such as Rebecca Garang the wife of Late Dr. Garang De Mobior, Mary Kiden and many others. Lastly the key to successfully getting in to the political arena is by getting involved and learning what is happening around the globe. This includes reading newspapers, internet browsing, social media and news channels if you have a TV. For a woman starting to get involved, get into social women groups, women advocacy networks or associations and get involved in the community. This will give you a base to see as a group and see what you can’t see alone in the house. You can all do this while caring for your family or husband with no problem or issues.

REFERENCE

Barreca, Gina (2011) Women’s Fears Vs. Men’s Fears Part 2. Retrieved on 8/8/2016 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/snow-white-doesnt-livehere-anymore/201109/womens-fears-vs-mens-fears-part-2

c. Women health and their children

Women are the center home, “without a woman there is no home “African proverb commonly used in Ma’di language and behind every successful man is a woman. Women are very important because they are the ones who bear children and cook to feed the families. Though this importance is very high that men pay bride price to get a women, women health has been the poorest in South Sudan. Women themselves are also negligent of themselves too owing it to the home responsibilities. Though some women have some education and basic understanding about their own health and bodies, a lot is still lacking in their day-to-day health care. Most notably is women health in South Sudan compared to other countries in Africa e.g. nearest country Uganda or Kenya. The women in South Sudan are the most important persons in the family laboring all day to make ends meet and even prepare the food. They work hard in the farms in cultivating the food, harvesting the food, caring it home, storing the food, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids and the entire extended family. The workingwoman has to do all this at work and the rest that other women do. This is in addition to bearing a child and painful delivery without an epidural in most cases. The way the women in South Sudan view their responsibilities is that they are too busy to take time out and they feel that the time for visiting a health care provider is wasted time. Another problem is that whenever a child or a family member is sick, the woman is automatically the primary care giver, this adds to the women’s responsibilities and keeps her so busy. Though all women across the board are doing more in their families, many women tend to care about themselves. The common answer from a workingwomen is that I am too busy, I have to work, pick up kids from school, cook for them and help them complete their homework and attend to their husbands too. And the common answer from the South Sudanese home maker is that, I am too busy taking care of the family because the husbands do not share any house work such as cooking, baby sitting, picking up kids from school or even helping them with their home works. Contrarily, South Sudanese women care about their children’s health. This includes taking them to get vaccinated, annual physical exams and doctor’s

appointments for sickness and follow up appointments for the ones that need continued medical attention. Like any other communities, these women have their own barriers of lack of education which limits their ability comprehend their understanding of some medical needs and care. Some need translation while others are afraid to ask or the doctor’s office they use do not offer the translator service. One event that I witnessed in hospital was not different from other women’s encounter, in which I was appalled. That day there a South Sudanese woman who delivered a baby, she was new to US and did not know English, she spoke Near language and some Juba Arabic (which is special Arabic compared to the classic spoken and written Arabic). This lady was in Post partum and the RN needed to complete an assessment and the teaching about her condition. She did not speak English so the RN used the son to translate to the mother. The RN asked the woman if she was bleeding and what the color and consistency of the bleeding was? This was a standard question and necessary for the RN to know to provide competent nursing care, but the issue was the 10 year old boy had to ask the mother this question in Nuer language. The woman stopped the teaching right away and refused to speak, until someone called on me. This is only one example of many problems faced by women, which as become a big barrier and does not motivate women to go to the hospital. Another incident that almost took my personal life was in December 2008 when I had some moving and pricking chest pain. I went to my doctor’s office at 7 am hoping to be seen, but instead I was told I did not have an appointment and couldn’t be seen unless some cancels their appointment. The medical assistants (MA) told me that I should sit down and would call me if there was an opportunity. I only one hour, my condition was worst, I fainted on the chair and fell down from the chair. The patients awaiting room called the MAs and I was rushed inside the office, upon oxygen assessment, 911 was called and I found myself in the hospital intensive care unit (ICU) with massive pulmonary embolus (blood clot in the lungs). After reflecting on what happened though I was an RN, I found that I went to my doctors office verses the emergency department was basically due to cost issues. Because I cannot afford to pay for the cost, I was almost going to die. And death could have been more costly on my community because I had 6 children, 5 in US and one back home to be raised. Nome of them where in depended and all of them where at home. My honest thought to bring some light to this issue is share my own challenges in getting health care services for myself back in South Sudan and in US. In

south Sudan, the only time I seeked medical care was when I was pregnant, this was only because I had access and knowledge of death rates related to anemia in pregnancies and death during deliveries. The average village woman has no idea of this reports or rates other than seeing or witnessing death of fellow community death in their own village. This is where numbers matters and education of women matters a lot in the society. In the US leaving in the state of Arizona, I had a privilege to have physical examination at least every other year or annually when time permits and a well woman check but rarely had time for eye exam or dental exam. In fact, in the last 13 years I have lived in US, I had dental care about 5 times owing to the dentist the fear after the first dental visit as a refugee. The two visits where necessary as a refugee, and two visits where for a tooth pain and extraction, which I refused a space holder, not tooth implants due to the cost. The cost was about $3,000, which might also be the reason some other woman would also refuse like me. The well woman check were very interesting because it may be done every year or when every you prefer with mammogram for breast screening if you were above 40 years which I did get. Efforts to help women seek medical help is lacking in my community as stated, and certainly nothing is encouraging them given the situation the women live in their homes. To encourage women seek annually physical exam and well woman exam is that out reach programs need to be created to increased awareness. Secondly, women education gap needs to be addressed even if it means that women need extra to start English as a second language (ESL) classes and help them understand what they need to prevent preventable diseases such as human papilloma virus (HPV) or hepatitis. There are many benefits to ing women and empowering minority women at this time where medical costs are high especially in US. In June 2016, I was itted at a hospital emergency department for Ovarian cyst pain, the bill was greater than $20,000. This is very expensive to pay and certainly not to un educated woman who makes $7.5-$ 12/hr for a living. Lastly, the war in South Sudan has added another uncertainty to the South Sudanese woman in South Sudan and around the globe because most men have to go back home to struggle for the liberation of the country leaving the families behind for the woman to take the sole responsibility from mortgage and children care. The way these women could be assisted is by giving them vocational skills that would allow them to enter the work force and be able to have time to address their health care issues. Until then, diseases affecting the women in the world are

not different from the South Sudanese woman such as breast and cervix cancer, uterine and colon cancer and many others such as high blood pressure. High blood pressure which is a major problem in the black community and African American according to American heart association in 2016 and in fact the highest and strokes in African-Americans and Heart Disease is worst also. In the last few years, though there are no specific research in the South Sudanese women and understanding their health status and conditions, more diseases have been noted in the South Sudanese community and death from this community has been increasing in the last 4-5 years including liver cancer marking the highest among the dead. Therefore, research is needed in this community because they are now more than 10-15 years in another country eating processed foods and genetically grown animals compared to the natural foods and wild animals they eat back home in African. http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Conditions/More/MyHeartand StrokeNews/African-Americans-and-Heart-Disease-Stroke_UCM_ 444863_Article.jsp#.V7YT6SOAOko

Given all this barriers described for some women, their role remains very important in the community and the society, health awareness needs to be priority and needs to be addressed to allow the women carry out their implied duties with good health and happiness. The more time devoted to look at women issues the better the community because the community will be healthy and happier. Woman in developed countries such as US are now openly speaking about women issues and even discouraging men to make bad decisions for women such as the heated abortion issues and planned parenthood on 2016 presidential campaign. Women in the US know their rights under the constitution and even goes as far as the court about their rights and those who want to restrict their rights according many sources and the recent supreme court ruling on the state of Taxas issue and CNN. (Supreme Court firmly backs abortion rights, tosses Texas law on Reuters o June 28.2016)

http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-court-abortion-idUSKCN0ZC0JL

http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/27/health/abortion-in-america-chartsand-graphs-trnd/

CHAPTER 5 Battling Professionalism

a. Entering the work force

PROFESSIONALISM IS WHAT many hope for in their lifetime and to become a professional is a career, more than a mere job description and tasks to be carried out. There are many professions out there, which are rated best and make good money. Others are very good but bring in less money. The last categories includes jobs done in a professional environment which also require a professional standard however, those job holders do not belong to that specific discipline nor are the held under law using the same principles, ethics, code of conduct of many other requirements and obligation. Webster describes profession as a “chosen, paid occupation requiring prolonged training and formal qualification.” A profession is a discipline that disciplines its self and has its own standards. Professional individuals are expected to display competent and skillful behaviors in alignment with their profession. Being professional then is the act of behaving in a manner defined and expected by the your profession. For example, nurses are expected to behave in a specific manner that is caring, naturing, kind, honest, truthful and many other stipulated the state nurses acts and the American nurses association. In the US, apparently nursing job is almost similar to military ranks, where the old eat the young. the bullying in the profession is real and no one talks about it unless you are an intensive care nurse or occasionally telemetry nurse. The rest of the floor bullying goes un-noticed or even not important. An American study by Vessey et al (2009) of nurses found that a wide range of staff reported bullying. Bullying occurred most frequently in medical surgical care (23%), critical care (18%), emergency areas (12%), operating room/post anesthesia care unit (9%) and obstetric care (7%). These ones on the medical surgical unit usual receive less attention or they receive the general standard attention of zero tolerance on some behaviors. Perpetrators included senior nurses (24%), charge nurses (17%), nurse managers (14%) and physicians (8%). This percentage looks quite normal but in some case a lot of these bullying go un reported due to fear of being terminated. This fear has allowed such behavior to continue and it has become one of the reasons of nurses burnout and turnover rate. Some hospital s that take this cases into consideration have seen retention in nurses as stability in patients care. Sa and Fleming (2008) found that one in six

nurses (13%) reported being bullied in the past six months. In my case as a professional nurse, I have seen bullying and was a victim of bullying in more than two hospitals. The best I did was to report it to the human resources, but the worst they did was not do anything about it. You continue to work with the ab in one shift and one place. This creates challenges and a difficult outcome for patients under our care because of poor communication, lack of teamwork and coordination, and lack of resource for the nurses if the ab is the charge nurse. Only God knows how some of those days end well without one committing suicide or even waking up the next day to go back to the same job just because you have kids to feed. carrying lunch to work and bringing it back was a normal routine to the day at work, while we teach patients to eat regular meals, we actually missed 2-3 meals a day. Another way of bullying that was approved by the istration was hiring junior nurses or new grades to be charge nurses while ignoring the experience nurses on the floor. There overall reasoning of the s is the save money but they care less about compromising patient care and burning out its available nurses. These new grads that are made charge nurse have no idea of how to lead the team and be a resource on the floor for the nurses as well as other new nurses that need guidance. They also need guidance themselves and the notion that they can save money for other expenses and compromising patient care sends chills. knowing health care errors are now ranking in the 10 leading causes of death, nurse managers need to reevaluate their leadership roles, approach and method of selective discipline in nursing.

b. Challenges and barriers to overcome for work

The first challenge of a black professional nurse to overcome is being black. Apparently this differs from hospital to hospital but being black is a barrier you need to overcome to become a professional nurse. This forces you even to decline to select your race if your name alone dose not show who you are. This makes one deny their identity for a job to make a living. Living in America shouldn’t be this had since the blacks have been purposely brought to US more than a century ago. Though the explanation for checking the box of being black, blue or Latino has been said to be for inclusion purposes, it’s actually for exclusion purposes. Checking this box may sometimes mean just checking yourself out of the interview list, which is the first step. In my case, I checked the box black or African American several times and learnt from it quickly that it wasn’t a good idea. I started leaving empty since it become optional when completing it online. As soon as I gave that up, I was always called for interview and I can count that only very few interviews were not impressed when I actual met them face-by-face and I most of the time got the job. The second barrier associated with being black is the equivalent of stupid, being inferior and not knowing what to do. In other situations stereotyping even applies equating your hard work to the disadvantaged blacks on the streets because they did not have and opportunity. This barrier is also hard to overcome and you have to prove yourself daily at a job that you can do it well and even be the best at it while others do not have to use a drop of blood or glucose to prove it. Proving that you are not the same like some other blacks on the streets is kind of difficult because you do not know why they are there. But after living in this country for 12 years, I kind of understand how they feel and why some are in that situation. This does not mean that some have excuses, but many have reasonably reasons and those are what I am describing here as barriers. The third barrier is one of that is unmodified, that being a black woman. People do not choose to be black but they find themselves born black, white, yellow or all colors in the world. This stigma seems to affect every woman in the US in of equal pay for the same qualification and experience by varying degrees. This is a gray line where congress have not even attempted to look at while they

have checked the box of how to control women bodies by bringing up un realistic bills on the floor such as prolife issues and ultra sound prior to abortion in 2014-2015 by Scott walker the failed governor and dropped out presidential candidate. The reluctance of congress and senate to bring this case to a close has been a struggle in the first world. This actually speaks to the fact that employers and companies write and say that they are equal opportunity employers and the federal government can’t do anything until the all time unpopular congress does something about the equal pay. women deserve better than this and the word democracy in the US is baseless if other peoples voice cannot be heard or acted upon for years. The women votes are needed and solicited at all cost, but women representation and agendas still lack behind despite we have Nancy Pelosi of democratic representative of California and many other women. The third world countries such as the continent of Africa that has 54 countries has 7 female presidents, yet US has none but continues to preach about equality and justice while their mothers, women, sisters and daughters continue to be under paid. In health care and all institutions I have worked at in the US, we are instructed not to share information about our pay. This is because we are not paid equally for the same work though we hold the same qualification and experiences. Nurses are not immune and are at the core of this rift. I found myself working with new grades paid more than I do for sitting at the desk and texting all day while I was watching their patients. To make it worse, they are considered new grad and assigned low acuity patients. This allows them to take frequent smoke breaks since I did not smoke, but their work load and breaks were just un propotional to what other nurses do. All the same, I over came this by caring about my patient dearly, being prudent, punctual, and proactive and a good listener to my patients and patient family. I even got a daisy award for extra ordinary nurses when I was at bedside because my focus was my patients and not the other things happening. My kin advice to nurses and others who may this profession and others is that focus on your job as a nurse, follow your ion and provide that care to the patient and go home after your 12 hours is over.

c. Office politics and work load

Office politics is one undeniable fact in health care, corporates, institutions, industries and other private job sectors. I would like to describe office politics as a cliché’. It resembles things that have been done over and over even if there has been no positive results from doing it. The perfect examples of office politics displayed in US at the top offices is the democrats and republican game in the congress or senate floor where democrats cite with democrats and republicans cite with republicans even if they are pure demagogues. Though many do not see this, the common word used in health care is the “click” meaning a small group of people who work well together against others and their game is to put other out of jobs, business or luck for good. These people move from job to job in a group and usually have a leader who influences them. When one is fired from a job, the rest in the circle start to quit resulting to high turnover and staffing crises. This kind of people are usually easy to tell but employers would not listen to the employees until things go south and they are faced with choices. This office politics is what the nursing profession need to do away with because of its effects on the patient outcome. For example, if there are two nurses on the floor or unit who do not belong to the circle need help for there patients, they may not get the help needed because the communication will not go through. Lack of appropriate response in helping a nurse to effectively care for a patient is a pure system break down and can result in a bad outcome. In my case things were very bad and are easy to overcome if you are an experienced RN, though it may be hard for a junior RN needing help. Possible ways of dealing with this kind of behavior and being successful in taking care of your patients is being proactive. An RN who is always proactive will be able to anticipate potential issues and find amicable ways to address them before they happen. The second approach is being straightforward, even if you do not belong to any of those groups just go to them and ask for help or just go to the charge nurse if you need help. If the charge nurse is in the group, then your next possible helper is the nurse manager. Do not speak ill of any one but ask for the help you need. The third best option is arrive at work early and talk to the previous shift nurses (RNs), this will allow you to make quick decisions when they refuse their patients and want to switch with you. Do not make friendship with those nurses

but remain professional in your daily relationship and required work ethics

d. Expectations

What are expectations and what can we really expect of others and ourselves? Expectations in each discipline and work place differ, some institutions have standard expectations for everyone and others have relaxed expectations and differ according to the job. The community has expectations and culture also has expectations. Nursing as a profession has a set of professional expectations, code of ethics by the American nurses association (ANA) and state board nurse practice acts that each nurse has to follow. These seem a lot and difficult by they are some that are standard and wouldn’t change from state to state in US. These expectations are designed to help each and everyone live and practice nursing professionally and ethically, treat everyone with respect especially and treating our patients with respect and dignity. As nurses pledge to care for their patients, the do uphold their best interest in serving them and not with hold any information against their patients. Though treating each other professionally is a great deal in nursing to provide care and collaborative care with the interdisciplinary team, bullying is very huge and some times hinders expectations. Managers bullying nurses and nurses are bullying each other and this needs to stop because nursing expectations and professionalism definition needs a lot of work for minority RNs practicing in the US. Conclusion, this memoire is some highlights about the experiences of Jane in more than three countries in her life. Some of these experiences are good and some are bad. Though there are two sides for each coin and most things such as two hand, legs, eyes and nostrils, the best can be made possible out life. I choose to live my life with the best I could and forget about the others that did not benefit me. I also choose to write about them to help others understand that with all this problems, life is still possible and you can still prevail. Aulogo kumba ulu lelegasi is the say in Ma’di language.

REFERENCES

Lowenstein LF (2013) Bullying in nursing and ways of dealing with it. Nursing Times.109: 11, 22-25. Retrieved from http://www.nursingtimes.net/bullying-in-nursing-and-ways-of-dealing-withit/5056275.fullarticle Sa L, Fleming M (2008) Bullying, burnout and mental health amongst Portuguese nurses. Issues in Mental Health Nursing; 29: 411-426. Vessey JA et al (2009) Bullying of staff ed nurses in the workplace: a preliminary study for developing personal and organizational strategies for the transformation of hostile to healthy workplace environments. Journal of Professional Nursing; 25: 299-306.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

THE AUTHOR OF this memoir Dr. Jane Abucha DNP, ACNP-BC was born and raised in South Sudan from a small tribe called Ma’di in the village of Loa. She is a professional nurse, teacher and professor and she is very ambitious and a talented lady who has successfully overcome her trails and temptations in life as a human being. She comes from the war torn country South Sudan and came to United States of America (USA) as a refugee from Egypt. She has lived in USA for 13 years and lived in Sudan and Egypt prior to coming to United States to realize her dreams. Dr. Abucha received her Masters in Nursing with specialty as an acute care nurse practitioner from Grand Canyon University in phoenix and a doctorate from Maryville University of St. Louis. Dr. Abucha is a single mother who has struggled to live the American dream and raise her children in USA instead of her war torn country South Sudan. Dr. Abucha is the owner of Teach & Care LLC and practices as a health care provider in the state of Arizona. Her ions are to care and serve, and she has developed a successful project in Loa South Sudan to serve the Ma’di community and the neighboring villages in health care and education.