Sardarji Jokes 596n5x

Lecturer : Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti. > Sardar : Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam , I dont know who is Jayanti. > > 2. Sardar : You cheated me. > Shopkeeper: How ? > Sardar : YOu said this is American made radio. But when I put it ON, > it says All India Radio. > > 3. Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. > He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have . > > 4. Sardar ed new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the > computer. > Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. > Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright. > > 5. On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our > engagement day will you give me a ring. > Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile. > > 6. Two sardars were fixing a bomb in a car. > Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. > sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more. > > 7. Interviewer : When is your birthday. > Sardar : 13th Oct. > Interviewer : which year ? > sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year. > > 8. Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar > why are you removing a wheel from your auto. > sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler. > > 9. Sardar : What is the name of your car ? > Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T". > Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi > petrol se start hoti hai. > > 10. Boss : Where were you born ? > sardar : Punjab. > Boss : which part ?

> Sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in Punjab. > > 11. American India told Sardar: Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se > hoti hai. > Sardar: Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai. > > 12. How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars? > Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it. A Pardes walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!" The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

A Pardes and a American were taking a stroll when the American suddenly said, "Oh, look at the dead bird." The Pardes looked skyward and said "Where, where?"

Pardes Dhakaal Singh is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out form the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo wandering freely. Zoo people requested Pardes to be inside and trap the tiger in cage. Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying big gun. While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep. At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly Dhakaal put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward. After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. once more the road divides into two and this time our Pardes is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side. After some time the roads meet again to our Pardes's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again. This time the road never divides and our Pardes thought the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then he held his hand outside and he gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake. The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward. NOW TELL ME WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY?? ANSWER BELOW............

MORAL: "There are Pardes Communities in Tigers too".

A Pardes with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked upthe iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."

A Pardes sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why guys doing what they are doing. The bystander,” A Marathon race is going on. Pardes : What do they get from that? Bystander : The winner will get a prize Pardes : Then why are the others running?

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The doctor told Pardes that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Pardes called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?"asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 kms from home."

TRAIN TO LUDHIANA.. Pardess Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?" "No," answers the Railway man. "Can I?" asks Gani Singh.

Pardes is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Pardes replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"

Pardes got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate "Mother:Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese." "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" " Aah, Pardes read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Pardes were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" (its the barking sound) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" "Pardes!" "Woof.""Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"

Pardes is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Pardes says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Pardes figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Pardes is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Pardes gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE. Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah,but you've got a driver. A Pardes was drawing money from ATM, the Pardes behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur . Its 4 asterisks (****)." The first Pardes replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

A Pardesji called 911 on his cell phone to report that his car has been broken into. He is hysterical as he explains his situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" He cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "He got in the back seat by mistake."

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner. "Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile." The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. A Pardes, 30, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having his picture taken."

Help, the titanic is going to be drowned! Everybody in the ship is shouting,crying,running or praying to god. Just then an Italian asks the nearby Pardes in the ship. Italian: How far is the land, from here? Pardes: Two miles. Italian: Only two miles? Then Why are those fools making noise. I have got the experiance of swimming even more. The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the surface to ask something again. Italian: Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here? Pardes : Downwards.

Pardes to sunita: I want to marry you. Sunita: But I am one year elder to you. Pardes: No problem, then I will marry you next year.

Two Pardess went to a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their pocket sandwiches started eating them. " you can't eat your own sandwiches in here" Complained the pub owner. The two Pardess then swapped(Exchange) their sandwiches.

Once upon a time, a Pardes saw a boy who wore his cap backwards. Pardes felt that this was a new fashion, and he also decided to wear his pagdi facing the wrong way. While he was on his way to his office, another Pardes saw him and asked; " Pardes aa rahe ho ke ja rahe ho" (Pardes, are you coming or are you going?)

A Pardes was very fond of sensational and detective novels, but he always started reading from the middle. A friend of his asked why he did so? "it's doubly intresting",said the Pardes. "to start from the middle keeps one curious not only about its end but also about its begining."

Pardes bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

Pardes : I am a Proud Pardes, My son is in Medical College. Banta : Really, what is he studying? Santa : No he is not studying, they are Studying him.

What is Common between: Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..? Pardes replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.

Santa falls in luv with a nurse...After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I love you, sister."

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mothertongue? Santa: Very long!

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

Santa went to battery shop and asked to change battery. The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du? Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000. Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School? A: He is the one who erases the books, when the teacher erases the board.

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track. Banta: Santa u'll die. Santa: No, you'll die because haven't you heard train is coming on platform?

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door? A: Because it was an entrance exam.

What's Ford? Santa: Gaadi. What's Oxford? Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage. Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out. Santa: I didn't say he got out.

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever - What comes first - the chicken or the egg? O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega! Once a Hindu, a Muslim and our dear Santa were standing together. An Englishman came up and asked, “hey guys, what is your favorite flowers?” The Hindu replied, „Lotus‟ „Ha, I clean my shit with that!‟ the Englishman jeered The Hindu got angry, the lotus being our national flower The Muslim replied : “Chameli” „Ha I clean my shit with that!‟ The Englishman response The Muslim also got angry but kept quite The Englishman asked Santa, „Sardarji, and what is your favourite flower?‟ Patriotic Santa replied: „Cactus! and replied, “now clean your ass with that!”

A Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton. Bill : I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. He takes him to a forest. Bill : Dig the ground. Sardarji did it. Bill : More….More…More… Sardarji went upto 100 Feet. Bill : So now, try to search something. Sardarji : I got a Wire. Bill : You know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones. Sardarji became frustrated. He invited Bill to India. Next year Bill was in India. Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement. The same…he takes Bill to a forest. Sardarji : Dig it. Bill does. Sardarji : More….More…More… … Bill goes upto almost 400 feet. Sardarji :Try to find something. Bill tries. Sardarji : Did you get anything? Bill : No, there is nothing here. Sardarji : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago, we used to have WIRELESS!! One day a dog was running behind a Santa… But Santa was laughing.

Banta asked, “Why you are so happy? He said : “Ah Ah Ah…I have an Airtel mobile with me…But Still Hutch network is following me.” Two Sardars looking at an Egyptian mummy. Sardar1: Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case! Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai :BC-1760!! Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, “Oh..we‟ll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?”

That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, “No problem! we‟ll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we‟ll automatically get developed.” Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. “They should not put up such misleading notices,” said Banta Singh. It said, “Fine For Parking Here.” Santa went to Mysore palace. Tourist guide : Santaji please don’t sit there, its Tippu Sultan’s throne. Santa : Oye! don’t worry yaar I’ll get up when he comes!!! Santa dials a number and a girl named ‘SITA’ receives phone. Santa says, “maine to delhi phone lagaya tha, ye ayodhya kaise lag gaya.”

One day a bus gets an accident which were filled up with some sardarjis. Then one of the Saradarji starts to cry very loudly saying I have lost my hand, I have lost my hand…After the accident one of the survived sardarji says to him, “why are you crying control yourself, don‟t cry, see that man has lost his head but he hasn‟t utter even a single word, how silent he is…” Sardarji got the fourth child. He fills data in the birth certificate. “How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Sikh?” ” Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese.” “Aaj Tak” gets news that 100 Sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one Sardar left alive. The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows: Correspondent : How did this happen? Sardarji : Well, all the people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves. The announcement was misleading. The train arrived on the track and you can see the result.

Correspondent : Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent. Why did you not jump onto the tracks? Sardarji : I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up… Buffalo par baithe ek Sardar ko Traffic Police ne roka aur puncha, “aapka helmet kahan hai?” Fine lagega. Sardar replied, “baawle dhyaan se dekh neche!” “4 wheelar hai.” A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party: Hi! I am sardar, This is my sardarni, He is my kid, and…. she is my kidney.