The Dirty Big Book Of Sex Quotes 1a4o34

The DIRTY Big Book of SEX Quotes Edited by

Mark Zedler

The DIRTY Big Book of SEX Quotes i

The DIRTY Big Book of SEX Quotes edited by Mark Zedler Copyright © 2012 by Mark Zedler. All Rights Reserved Published by Mark Zedler (http://www.thebacchanalian.com/) ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. ISBN: 978-0-9866174-2-3

The DIRTY Big Book of SEX Quotes ii

This book is dedicated to my beloveds Rovena and Solstice; they are a continual source of Supreme Bliss through unconditional love, inspiration, sexual ecstasy and expanded consciousness.

The DIRTY Big Book of SEX Quotes iii

Table of Contents Introduction Chapter 1: Is sex dirty? Only if it is done right! Woody Allen Biography Woody Allen Sex Quotes Quotes: Intellectualisms Quotes: Auto Erotica Quotes: Comparison Quotes: Sex is a Discovery Regrettable Headlines Quotes: Love and Other Drugs Quotes: Wedding Vows Cheating Chapter 2: Pussy rules the world Madonna Biography Madonna Sex Quotes Like a Virgin Family Unplanning Condom Trivia Condom Euphemisms STDs and Safe Sex The Pure Awesomeness of Sex If it is not Erotic, it is not Interesting Having Sex Euphemisms Chapter 3: I am only comfortable when I am naked Marilyn Monroe Biography Marilyn Monroe Sex Quotes Hot and Steamy The Gentler Sex Blonde Moments Boobies Boob Obsession Breast Euphemism Female Genitalia Trivia Female Genitalia Euphemisms Seduction Clothing Optional In The End It All Comes Off! Strange Sex

The DIRTY Big Book of SEX Quotes iv

Chapter 4: I can when the air was clean and sex was dirty George Burns Biography George Burns Sex Quotes Long Ago and Far Away! Sex in History Sex in Ancient Rome Strange Sex Laws Strange Foreign Sex Laws Historical Sex Laws The Bacchanalia Chapter 5: Getting a blowjob is not a crime Bill Maher Biography Bill Maher Sex Quotes The Male Species Male Sex Trivia Penis Trivia Penis Euphemisms Semen Trivia Semen Euphemisms Erection Euphemisms Fellatio Euphemisms Ejaculation Euphemisms Going Han Solo on Darth Vader's head Masturbation Trivia Masturbation Euphemisms Chapter 6: Give me Chastity, but not yet! Jerry Falwell Biography Jerry Falwell Sex Quotes Only in America Sin, Sacrilege and Sex! Special Problems of Conjugal Intimacy Sex and Religion Homosexual Sins: The Cummean Penitential Chapter 7: Wow! It‟s so BIG Jenna Jameson Biography Jenna Jameson Sex Quotes Pornography is in the groin of the beholder Porn Trivia Let's Get Kinky Fetish Trivia Sex Sells Menage-a-trois Group Sex Euphemisms The DIRTY Big Book of SEX Quotes v

Getting it backwards Oral Sex Trivia Mutual Oral Sex Euphemisms Female Ejaculation Cunnilingus Euphemisms Female Masturbation Euphemisms Chapter 8: Certain times I like sex. Like after a cigarette Rodney Dangerfield Biography Rodney Dangerfield Sex Quotes Still not getting any Epic Fail Unfortunate Community Names Foreign Sex Free range Sex Chapter 9: I do all my best work in bed Mae West Biography Mae West Sex Quotes Immoral, Illegal and Fattening Let's Talk About Sex Being Sexually Aroused Euphemisms Sage Advice A Little Action on the Side Sex for Dummies Chapter 10: I can resist everything except temptation Oscar Wilde Biography Oscar Wilde Sex Quotes LGBT Homo Erotic Being Gay Polyamory Switching Sides About the Author Image Credits

The DIRTY Big Book of SEX Quotes vi

Introduction American poet Amy Lowell once remarked that "Sexual love is the most stupendous fact of the universe, and the most magical mystery our poor blind senses know." As Lowell suggests, sex can be an amazing part of human nature that touches the core of our being and gives us the opportunity to lose ourselves in mind-blowing bliss and ecstasy. But on the other hand, many still see sex as a taboo subject fraught with seemingly life and soul threatening dangers at every turn. This fear of human sexuality is so deeply embedded within our psyche that Martin Luther, the great Protestant reformer, once suggested that “Had God consulted me in the matter [of human reproduction], I should have advised Him to continue the generation of the species by fashioning them out of clay.” While such negative beliefs around sex have been slowly eroding over the past 50 years, it is still very difficult for many to accept their own sexuality. The tension between accepting and rejecting one‟s sexuality can be no more clearly seen than in the case George Rekers. Rekers, one of the leading anti-gay crusaders in the United States, was photographed on April 13, 2010 with a male prostitute while returning from a European vacation. Rekers, an ordained Baptist minister and Emeritus Professor at the University of South Carolina, worked tirelessly behind the scenes for years promoting the Religious Right‟s anti-gay agenda. He authored numerous books guiding parents on how to raise straight children and was a founding member of the conservative Family Research Council. In 2008, Rekers rose to national prominence when he testified as an expert witness in of Florida‟s ban on gay adoptions. Rekers hired a gay escort, known as „Lucien‟ from the Rentboy.com website to accompany him on a 10 day vacation to London and Madrid. On that site, Lucien touts his „athletic/muscular build,‟ „NICE ASS,‟ and „8x6" UNCUT‟ cock; he described himself as 'HIV and Disease FREE,' and offered to ‟do anything you say as long as you ask.‟ When the duo arrived at the Miami International Airport, Rekers was photographed pushing their luggage through the airport on a trolley. A few weeks later when Rekers was confronted with the photo from a Miami New Times journalist, he explained he hired Lucien as a „travel assistant‟ to help carry his luggage on his trip since he recently had back surgery and was unable to move it himself. Rekers further suggested that he was completely unaware of Lucien‟s profession when he hired him to be his travel assistant. Reker‟s explanation for his actions beggars belief; the journalist‟s photograph clearly showed him lifting his own luggage while Lucien stood by without lifting a finger. Moreover, after the scandal broke, The New York Times interviewed Lucien in which he said "the Baptist minister is a homosexual who paid him to provide body rubs once a day in the nude, during their ten-day vacation in Europe." Once all these details emerged after the scandal broke it became evidently clear that Lucien was hired for more than just „lifting luggage.‟ This sordid affair clearly revealed Rekers to be gay, but unfortunately he was filled with so much church-sanctioned self loathing that he felt compelled to persecute gays to assuage his feelings of guilt. In the end the rejection of his own sexuality sowed the seeds of his own undoing in the

The DIRTY Big Book of SEX Quotes 1

most spectacular and ignominious fashion. Tales like this clearly show that we are still conflicted with a tremendous amount of religious indoctrination over sex. Perhaps we should consider the sage advice of actress Bette Davis when she remarked that "Sex is God's joke on human beings." If the joke is really on us, then would it not make a whole lot more sense for society to drop all its pious pretenses around sex and embrace and celebrate it whole heartedly? In my view the answer to that question is a resounding YES! This celebration of sex is what the readers of my first collection, The DIRTY Little Book of SEX Quotes applauded. Just like the first collection, this compilation concentrates on delivering more of what my readers found so enjoyable; a collection of evocative, thought provoking, contentious, witty, outrageous, uplifting and hilariously funny sex quotes; plus a whole lot MORE! In The DIRTY Big Book of SEX Quotes you will find it jam packed with so much new material including:     

More than 600 new sex quotes that will entertain and amuse. Over 100 strange sex laws from around the world that will leave you dumbfounded. More than 300 fascinating pieces of sex trivia. Nearly a 1,000 hilarious sex euphemisms. Over 100 beautiful illustrations and pictures.

Moreover, this book has been organized into over 100 page turning categories divided into 10 chapters. At the start of each chapter you will find a biography from a famous personality complete with their collection of juicy sex quotes. Included are biographies from such icons and public figures as:          

Woody Allen Marilyn Monroe Madonna Jenna Jameson George Burns Mae West Bill Maher Jerry Falwell Rodney Dangerfield Oscar Wilde.

D.H. Lawrence once remarked that "Sex and beauty are inseparable, like life and consciousness. And the intelligence which goes with sex and beauty, and arises out of sex and beauty, is intuition." Something this beautiful should clearly be celebrated! The DIRTY Big Book of SEX Quotes is my contribution to that celebration by injecting humor, joyfulness, beauty and irreverence into an area of our lives that truly deserves it.

~Mark Zedler


CHAPTER 1

Is sex dirty? Only if it is done right



Woody Allen‟s Biography Woody Allen‟s given name is Allan Stewart Konigsberg. Allen spent his early years in Brooklyn, New York. He was raised in a typical Jewish family where he attended a Hebrew school and spoke Yiddish at home. At fifteen years of age Allen started writing jokes for local newspapers at an astonishing rate of 2,000 jokes per day. With his uncanny ability for telling jokes, it did not take long for Allen to go from writing jokes for the local paper to writing jokes for television talk shows. Later he switched to becoming a stand-up comedian performing at nightclubs. As a stand-up comic Allen got his first big break when he was spotted by a film producer Warren Beatty who got him to write “What's New Pussycat?” in 1965. Allen went on to direct his first comedy film in 1966 with "What's Up, Tiger Lily?" In the 1970s Allen came into his own with films like “Bananas” in 1971 and “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex” in 1972. Allen would become a force in American film and from 1978 to 2011 he would be turning out at least one movie per year. Allen‟s enduring fame in part seems to stem from the fact that his real life romances appear to mirror the complicated love situations depicted in many of his films: Allen has been married three times and his current wife is the adopted daughter of his second wife. Born: 1 December 1935

Woody Allen Sex Quotes "Chastity is curable, if detected early." “A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said 'no.'" ", if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast." "Is sex dirty? Only if it is done right." "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." "Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions." "Sex relieves tension - love causes it." "Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman." "Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing." "My brain is my second favorite organ."


"We're completely wrong for each other. But that's not the only attraction." "The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you" “I don‟t think everyone conceives of sex the way I do surrealistic and rich with humor.” “I finally had an orgasm and my doctor told me it was the wrong kind.” "I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher - they are going to make a board game out of it.” "I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's." "A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life." "I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics." "My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women." "If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips." "Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex." "Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously." "I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer." "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." "A 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires." "Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night." "I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own." "My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty." "Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love." "I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic." "Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one."


"I wonder if I really satisfied her during our seven year marriage, or she was faking that night?" In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people‟s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you‟re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, and you play. You have no responsibilities; you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!”



"An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets." ~Anonymous "I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it." ~Anonymous "I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now." ~Anonymous "Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics." ~Anonymous "Sex in is a comedy; in England it is a tragedy; in America it's a melodrama; in Italy it's an opera; in , a reason to take up philosophy.” ~Anonymous "Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex." ~Karl Marx "An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex." ~Edgar Wallace "The major civilizing force in the world is not religion, it is sex." ~Hugh Hefner "The state has no place in the bedrooms of the nation." ~Pierre Trudeau "Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse yet he has left it out of his heaven.” ~Mark Twain



"A dirty book is rarely dusty." ~Anonymous "I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading." ~Anonymous "Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning." ~Anonymous “Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don‟t have time.” ~Roseanne Barr "Sex in a woman's world has the same currency as a penny has in a man's. Every penny saved is a penny earned in one world and in the next; every sexual adventure is a literary experience." ~Harry Golden "I don't see much of Alfred since he got so interested in sex." ~Mrs. Alfred Kinsey "If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?" ~Bette Midler “The books say we‟re supposed to have penis envy, but look who wrote the books.” ~Yoko Ono "The dirtiest book of all is the expurgated book." ~Walt Whitman



"Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire." ~Anonymous "Men read maps better because only a male mind could conceive of an inch equaling a hundred miles." ~Roseanne Barr "Great food is like great sex -the more you have the more you want." ~Gael Greene "For me, love is very deep, but sex only has to go a few inches." ~Stacy Nelkin "ion makes idiots of the cleverest men, and makes the biggest idiots clever." ~Francois de La Rochefoucauld "Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy." ~Groucho Marx



"Sex is a discovery." ~Fannie Hurst "Sex appeal is the keynote of our civilization." ~Henri Bergson "Sex, a great and mysterious motive force in human life, has indisputably been a subject of absorbing interest to mankind through the ages." ~William Brennan Jr. "Sexual intercourse is kicking death in the ass while singing." ~Charles Bukowski "In choosing a lover you are choosing your destiny." ~Mantak Chia "An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card." ~Alex Comfort "Men get laid, but women get screwed." ~Quentin Crisp "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." ~Billy Crystal "Sex is a short cut to everything." ~Anne Cumming "Sex is God's joke on human beings." ~Bette Davis "What all your sex desire is Sovereignty." ~John Dryden "Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence life until we know how to understand sex." ~Henry Ellis "Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules." ~Marty Feldman "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." ~Sigmund Freud


"Why did God give us genitals if he wanted us to think clearly." ~Graham Greene "Sex is the gateway to life." ~Frank Harris "God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool." ~Victor Hugo "Life is a sexually transmitted disease." ~R Laing "The tragedy is when you've got sex in the head instead of down where it belongs." ~D.H. Lawrence "Sex and beauty are inseparable, like life and consciousness. And the intelligence which goes with sex and beauty, and arises out of sex and beauty, is intuition." ~D.H. Lawrence "It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."~Abraham Lincoln "Sexuality is an expression of our spirituality." ~Pamela Anderson "Sex is more than an act of pleasure. It‟s the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can‟t take it. And at this moment you're a part of them." ~Anonymous "If God considers sex as sin, then there is no greater sinner than God." ~Osho "Eros guides us to Logos." ~Plato "A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times." ~Sanskrit Proverb "Making love? It's a communion with a woman. The bed is the holy table. There I find ion and purification." ~Omar Sharif "She embraces him with such force that their bodies become a single body." ~The Kama Sutra The DIRTY Big Book of SEX Quotes 16

"A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't." ~Anonymous "If God didn't expect man to eat pussy.... why did he shape it like a TACO?" ~Anonymous



Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25 NJ judge to rule on nude beach Never withhold herpes from loved one Organ Festival Ends in Smashing Climax Bonnie blows Clinton Scott wants head job Republicans turned off by size of Obama's package Bishop agrees sex abuse rules Lesbian youth at high risk for pregnancy Clinton's firmness got results Jane Fonda to teens: Use head to avoid pregnancy Big jugs, fine wine, nice party Student excited dad got head job Is there a ring of debris around Uranus? Soviet virgin lands short of goal again Prostitutes appeal to Pope Messiah Climaxes In Chorus Of Hallelujahs Infertility Unlikely To Be ed On Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link Teenage Girls Often Have Babies Fathered by Men Condom truck tips, spills load A-Rod goes deep, Wang hurt


Colon absorbs another pounding Royals to get a taste of Angels' Colon Colleagues Finger Billionaire Hay not pleased with slumping PP Clinton licks Beavers Rangers get whiff of Colon Porn Star sues after rear-end collision Hooker named Lay Person of the Year Mounting Pressure On Weiner Beavers Trap Trojans ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

End of this sample ebook Did you enjoy the Preview? Buy Now or See details for this ebook in the Amazon Kindle store


The Dirty Big Book Of Sex Quotes 1a4o34

Overview 3e4r5l

More details w3441

Related Documents 3m3m1z

The Dirty Big Book Of Sex Quotes 1a4o34

The Dirty Little Ebook Of Sex Quotes 44n5t

The Big Book Of Sex Toys 34s1e

The Big, Fun, Sexy Sex Book l302v

The Big, Fun, Sexy Sex Book l302v

The Big Book Of Lofts 6973i

More Documents from "Alexandru Bordeianu" 484239

The Dirty Big Book Of Sex Quotes 1a4o34

George Cosbuc Biografie.docx y192a

Atasament Si Tulburari De Personalitate (margareta Dinca) 1o352d

Expresii Romanesti 163du

Albert Einstein Citate 2e6w1g

Urbano+monte+catalog 4l6x2i