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Waiting for The Parade

Roger O’Guin

Copyright © 2019 by Roger O’Guin.

ISBN:

Softcover eBook

978-1-7960-7290-7 978-1-7960-7289-1

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Rev. date: 11/19/2019

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CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1 False Promises Chapter 2 Disunity Chapter 3 Creative Chapter 4 Reactive Chapter 5 Facts, Not Fairy Tales Chapter 6 Capitalism Chapter 7 Socialism Chapter 8 A History of Socialism Chapter 9 Transactional Relationships Chapter 10 Problem Resolution Chapter 11 Positive Outcomes Chapter 12 Parenting Styles Chapter 13 Be Your Own Movie Star

References Author Biography

Introduction

What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when we bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen. —Henry David Thoreau

Waiting for the Parade begins with the anticipation created by a gaggle of politicians who have, for many election cycles, generated “much ado about nothing” (Shakespeare). Some people spend a lifetime waiting for politicians to do something, make a certain decision, or wait for a handout. Political parades come around every four years—replete with promises, feigned emotions, degraded opponents, and afterelection fights that involve those opponents. But nowhere in this equation does anyone try to understand that everyone is unique and has distinctive talents. Everyone is capable of much more than they realize, and what they really need is an education that is tailored to their unique set of skills and abilities. I, for one, would like to see a more mature and affirmative approach and well thought-out and articulated plans for our nation. I have grown weary of the doomsday proverbs that suggest that our nation is largely in the hands of injustice and violence. The result of this fear-based thinking frequently takes revolutionary forms, which merely attract accomplices, not healthy citizens who are prepared to do their part in being creative—the opposite of reactive. Some political hopefuls talk about greed and injustice as if they are the only ideas worthy of mention in a campaign. It’s time to rethink politics and see political parades for what they are—hollow. Marketing the dark side while overlooking the light side that should be their logo has become too apparent, especially when politicians with frail agendas are involved. But no one is expected to tell the truth. We are expected to take sides! Even the media and entertainment hysterics seem to enjoy the disarray and disorientation.

A civil war is in progress, but fortunately, our military leaders aren’t inviting themselves into this mischief and mayhem. Some supposed leaders should be ashamed, but they aren’t! They continue their orations and accusations without having any concern for truth, loyalty, or integrity. The only things that this absurdity needs to continue are politicians that persist with viewing their opinions through polluted eyes and good citizens that remain mute. And this is not blaming. This is observable nonsense that one can easily see if one takes the time to recognize their tactics for what they are. This book is about two fundamental aspects of humanity. First, it is as individuals and how we can learn and excel if we are given the chance. The fact is, there are more opportunities in this country than in any other that I know of, and yet too many citizens aren’t being paired with those opportunities primarily because too many people have not learned what they are really good at! Nor do some citizens know the pitfalls of governmental policy making that keep them from achieving personal success. This narrative will talk about misguided or misinformed notables who are trying to resurrect the already-exhausted concept of socialism. I have devoted an entire chapter to the history of it and all its inglorious failures and costs—the suffering and the deaths that resulted from it. All of them could have been avoided if the citizens had been made aware of the mischief that their political candidates were crafting in the name of socialism.

Chapter 1

False Promises

Inclusion, not exclusion, is the key to survival. —The Power of One

It appears as though some politicians are struggling with the negative and positive aspects of thinking and behavior. Today I see people in positions of policy making and entertainment embracing the negative, divisive, and confused doomsday thinking that is perilously infectious. They are looking more like accomplices than leaders and prefer the abandonment of reason or good old common sense to the use of a blurry profusion of contrasting ideas, slogans, and accusations that have become lights and shadows that move so quickly across Washington, DC, few people pay attention to them anymore. Blaming is a unique tactic, but you will realize that it is juvenile when you look at its actual purpose. It was crafted by five-year-old kids to take the focus off of something they did that could get them in trouble. Another dated but useful distracter was “The devil made me do it.” And another unique way to avoid ability was suggesting that the moon had something to do with bad behavior. “Disrupted lunar cycles create lunacy,” they said. But elder politicians using these tactics is beyond any reasonable level of social acceptance. My prayer is that the people of this great nation see these charades for what they are —childish manipulation. Instead of blaming and distracting, these politicians need to tell the voters what they are really up to! Stop trying to hide your misdeeds and tell the truth, or Mommy will spank you! Has humanity not progressed at all where political and social maturity matter?

And why are certain factions not only embracing socialism but also promoting and even trying to force it onto a nation that has been prudent enough to avoid it for so long? Napoleon once said, “History is a set of lies agreed upon.” Where socialism is concerned, this becomes obvious if you take the time to research the failures it has produced. “We shall now proceed to construct the socialist order. The substitution of the bourgeois (middle class), state is impossible without a violent revolution” (Lenin). And he was responsible for literally millions of deaths! Will this great nation allow socialism—a worn, useless philosophy—to overrule common sense across the nation? Socialism is upside-down government because it’s democracy in reverse! It’s the opposite of freedom because it enforces the will of the policrats or legislators onto the people! Not the other way around! If it has to be enforced, it is not liberty; it is tyranny. And this is what millions of Americans have spilled blood over—not political parades! Keep this in mind while reading this collection of s. Literally millions of impoverished persons from socialist countries have and are still trying to get into the USA, but I see none trying to leave this great nation to live in socialist countries. And the reason immigrants are trying to get in is for one purpose: opportunity! They want to capitalize (which is from capitalism) on opportunities that are not available in their countries. So, why is it that some existing Americans aren’t able to recognize the opportunities that foreigners can see from afar? The cold, hard fact is, there are millions of people who do not know what they are truly worth, and those are the people who forfeit a life of career success and personal satisfaction. They lack the confidence necessary for achievement because of self-doubt. For them, success is gang involvement, tolerating high school, or trying to outwit some supervisor at a low-end job. Their self-doubt renounces their dreams of achievement because it tells them they are not up to a task or a challenge that is supposedly beyond their self-perceived limits. Therefore, it is appealing to many people when a political candidate offers something for nothing as part of an electoral campaign. Yet not in any economy or country or political movement has the theory of

redistribution of profit or property been implemented successfully. Washington, DC, is like a playground with children pretending to be adults while squabbling over concepts they are too naive to really understand because they lack the wisdom of qualifying experience. It’s actually amazing how many of them are elected based solely on their speechmaking. The result is, when they’re done playing, our national bank and other resources are drained! Children imagine and talk as though they are all grown-up but still don’t have the ability to filter their intentions, words, and plans through an adult rationale. Children are not conscious of their immaturity but play nonetheless in the hope of someday becoming mature individuals. But play plus intention doesn’t equal wisdom or ability. If we took the time to research information on these critical topics, we would be better prepared to make more informed decisions that affect our future. I believe politics is the best example of how many people follow some party line simply because they aren’t aware enough of the subject. This has been and can become a disaster. Politicians grab microphones and make promises, and their pledges seem to be so good, they’re enticing to those who don’t know the quantifiable cost of listening. Some political charmers will even try to tell you that your own voice of reason should surrender to theirs. They want you to think that the only place you’ll find the truth is in their mind-sets or propositions. Even worse, you might get caught up in their maneuver to degrade other people for their own political benefit. Don’t be fooled! Don’t take the bait! We have an internal com that usually tells us what is appropriate and what isn’t, but we don’t always listen to it. If we listen to the voice within, we can be internally motivated. If we don’t, we can be externally motivated, depending on who we are with and where we are. The internal influence or director of our personal play that tries to guide us is the voice of reason. This is what I am about to appeal to! Once we learn to live from the inside out, we gain internal control and are not as easily swayed by external factors. Before I appear to be disrespecting people who seem to overlook others in their quest for popularity, let me tell you that I am not accusing. Blaming our politicians, the media, the Russians, or a gaggle of well-intentioned but misinformed young idealists or entertainers would only lead to more dissent.

Blaming will not solve any of our pressing national problems, so we have nothing to lose and everything to gain by changing our attitudes. We must bring ourselves to reckoning, for we—all of us—are answerable and must hold some popular personalities able for their propaganda and, at times, blatant childishness. If we do not, we will have no right to use the voice of reason once it has been taken from us. Blindly trusting someone because they are holding a microphone is unwise. People who know the least are often the ones who talk the most. I think this is an old French maxim: “The hand that holds the pen is the hand that writes history.” Modern technology suggests that the hand that holds the microphone is the one that dictates history. But how do we know that someone who holds a microphone actually knows what we need or that they are acting in our best interest? Some political contestants are like children yelling into a canyon, listening to their own echoes while others who are nearby listen with curiosity even if the echoes are inane or deceitful. Some policrats are so arrogant, they will use any tactics or misinformation campaigns just to garner votes. One of their socially overstated but attention-grabbing political topics is a psychological projection that has become a new political manifesto—selfidentity. Someone says, “I’m confused regarding my gender identity. Therefore, everyone else must be confused as well.” I think we are hard-pressed to believe that so many people are confused about this, but it has become a sociopolitical strategy. Seriously, how many people in this country do you believe are questioning their respective gender identities? I think those who have a selfappointed doctorate in psychology are confusing child development with adult anxieties and false impressions that lead to unprofessional, wayward parental diagnoses. One of the real issues we face is people who use analytical when they really don’t know the criteria for those professional diagnoses. Some uneducated souls have vicariously created mentally ill people because they want to describe that which they do not understand. But a label is not a diagnosis; it is a layman’s term, and it is responsibility-free but dangerous! I used to teach child development, and this has never been a dilemma for our entire nation! Another unfortunate, despicable tactic is the politicization of mass shootings. Blaming an opponent for a condition that has been plaguing our nation since before his election is a horrible trick, and I pray that everyone will realize it is

just that—a tactic that capitalizes on deaths merely for votes. And portraying this horrible social cancer with inaccurate data is also irresponsible and selfish. Some say that it has to do with white supremacy; however, the data I’ve seen suggests that out of 117 perpetrators, 65 were black Americans, and 6 were women. That is not a unanimous white majority of insane killers! Some politicos adhere to this saying: “When in trouble, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout” (Herman Wouk). I believe that we must bring ourselves to reckoning. We all must examine our personal thoughts and begin to reason against ideas that seem to be too good. We can either be conscious or reactive; this means that we can reply or respond to others without really considering alternative ideas. So, we all have to ask ourselves these questions: Do I want to think more critically, or do I want to continue reacting out of habit? Do I want to be consciously in the moment or merely rely on others to influence me or make decisions for me? Without an adequate education on the history of civics, we aren’t always making decisions via awareness, and we have to live with the effects of the decisions of others. Too often we decide without knowledge or experience when it comes to politics. There are two that are currently popular with the media: unintended consequences and collateral damage. Unintended consequences are those outcomes that we don’t anticipate or expect. They are the results of decisions we made but didn’t think through or investigate. Poor political decisions can be made, and they often are; however, who takes responsibility for the unintended consequences? A poor economy, the national debt, inflation, and unemployment —inefficient and dangerous decisions caused these things. These can also be seen as collateral damage if someone loses a job and consequently loses a home and a car. So, researching policy making, legislating, and dogma becomes important, and we should do that rather than cheer someone on because they make false promises! All of us have an innate need to belong and to have purpose. When a system of policies and opinions take that away from us, we are left with confusion and frustration. So, why do some political and media personalities capitalize on disorder and blame and accuse others instead of finding workable solutions? Many of us have failed at something, but refusing to try again and creating discord serve no purpose. Some people stop trying after they fail because they are not sure of themselves

and because they do not realize their own strengths and potentials. Some become idle, and they do need help, but welfare is not the answer because it was never meant to become a way of life. And we can know something but choose not to take action. Sometimes people need an unsmiling, sobering advocate (parental figure) that will make them move forward! But external motivation should not have to be utilized for the rest of someone’s life! The biggest error we make as a society is our allowing our fellow man or woman to be less—less than their potential to become what they were destined to be and less than their potential can manifest itself in through achievement and accomplishment. Our mistake is we allow others to live lives of mediocrity! Parenting and education are, of course, the keys to personal success, but who teaches our children important personality elements like manners? Who teaches them cooperation? Who leads them toward their purposes in life? Who talks to them about creativity, confidence, personal expression, and listening skills? Freedom and discipline? Integrity and unique intellect? And, the most important of them all, independence? These traits are the foundations for personal growth and future success. If someone shows up to a job interview without motivation, intent, or preparation, what will the outcome be? Of course, they will walk away disappointed. Who helps them rebound from such disappointments? This task is left to the attributes of leadership. Without leadership principles, those who look for guidance are left with confusion and disappointment. The fail-safes that are currently in place aren’t working because there’s no incentive for inhibited people to get an education or find work! “Poor me” attitudes prevail while human potential and productivity are lost to apathy. And there is a big difference between lazy and clinically depressed! “Sometimes people change not because they see the light but because they feel the heat” (John Welwood). Some people need additional education on personal ability so they can learn from life’s lessons. Negative reinforcement occurs when the elephant gets off your foot! People learn from their experiences so that in the future, they are more careful around elephants or other distracting events. The same wisdom needs to be applied when people are learning lessons in their quest for a profitable, safe future. One of the primary rewards of experience is it allows us

to learn—not just from our own experiences but also the experiences of history. So, if some politicians continue to make the same mistakes, they obviously aren’t using the known examples to avoid horrific and repulsive consequences. Boredom is and should be our fundamental motivation to change. But some who become bored often seek avenues of entertainment. Too often that entertainment becomes a repetitive activity and not a productive pursuit. This especially seems to be the habit of those who are more willing to overlook personal goals that lead to self-actualization and independence. Why do some people repeat activities that are entertaining while overlooking activities that are constructive or creative? Some people develop habits that contribute to a more prosperous future while others gravitate toward instant gratification, which leaves little opportunity for personal growth or personal holdings. For some, success means mastering a computer game, while to others, success is formulating goals that lead to intrinsic and monetary success. These habits are learned under the guidance of parents or parental figures, and I will go into more detail on this subject in the chapter on parenting. The Finnish government recently announced that it will end the country’s universal-basic-income program and will cut the benefits of those who do not actively seek employment and are between the ages of 25 and 58. Common sense tells parents that reinforcing positive behavior is the key to the future successes of children, so why would anyone want to reinforce idleness or unproductive pursuits? Why allow children to learn inefficient behaviors? Now there are politicians in this country who are suggesting that our taxpayers should take on the same burden that the Fins are abolishing! Some politicians will jump on any hollow parade that seems to garner votes—even if the theories have been dismissed by study or experience. One doesn’t have to be an anthropologist or history professor to come to this conclusion. Russia’s socialist malfunctions produced scammers and black-market entrepreneurs for five generations because of this foolhardiness. These errors have occurred throughout history, and few realize the implications of what exactly is occurring because of false promises. What this country needs now is honesty, objectivity, fairness, and integrity. We don’t need divisive people preaching disunity. And we do not need the resale of

the old, worn idea of socialism, which has never worked. As a matter of fact, it has had the opposite effect; it has resulted in the stifling of human effort, industry, and independence. Politicians are proficient at finding any weakness in their own political system, their opponents, or in the history of politics and then turning their own failures into a new political agenda! After so many years of elections and reelections, one would think that some politicians have developed some valid cures for their ailing methods. But they now seem to abhor our flourishing economy and look forward to a failing economy so they will have a new political agenda.

Chapter 2

Disunity

A house divided against itself cannot stand. —Abraham Lincoln

The last time I checked, we were the United States of America; however, following the last election, we seem to have become the Disunited States of America. I believe that this has nothing to do with what most Americans want; it has everything to do with what some politicians, biased media personalities, and misinformed entertainers want. And if you read on, I’ll prove my point and illustrate how these characters are underdeveloped personalities who need to be in the spotlight no matter the consequences. Their rhetoric has been negative, destructive, and divisive, yet little seems to be said regarding their ambition to be popular even if it means they will divide this great nation. Their agendas are like hollow parade floats—they have little or no real substance inside but appear flashy and glitzy on the outside. In small towns across America, we can see lovely floats on parade during special events. Lots of ostentation, pretty girls, and people throwing cheap sunglasses and candy to the crowds, but when the float reaches the end of Main Street, the parade is over. No more free candy or free anything! Once the floats return to the barns from whence they came, the insides are seen for what they are—hollow! This is the calling card of some politicians and socialists! Some media outlets these political figures who sell hollow promises or socialism, and I need to tell you again here that socialism has never worked. And I’m not against helping my fellow man! But socialism has never brought about the changes necessary to bring equality to any culture. And the documented history in this book will show that it has done

the opposite. As for the politicians who need to be divisive, it’s simply a desperate attempt to maintain control. To the youth of America, please do your homework before you choose to indulge in political ideas that have failed miserably across history even if politicians and the media insist on exhausting you with rhetoric. It will save you from having to be disappointed too often. During the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, European countries were deeply in debt because of their expensive wars, especially . They were poorly governed by elites or nobles who lived lives replete with luxury while poor people starved. The nobility also included the Catholic Church, unfortunately. After several revolutions, this was neutralized. Europe has just recently come into unilateral balance, although it still struggles with complex political issues— especially monetary ones! But comparing old upheavals that occurred abroad to modern politics in America leads to inaccuracies and even danger. If teachers, politicians, or revolutionaries are making false predictions, do your research! Keep this in mind as you read my story, for it will make this material much more important: Do you want a Disunited States of America or a United States of America? Making others dependent on us is a grievous error. Draw a line, and at one end of it, write dependency. If we become too dependent on other people, we become powerless, totally ed by others, and needy—even disadvantaged. But how can there be a sense of self with distinct, personal esteem? There will be other esteem. This is when the deprived try to acquire esteem from other people. On the other end of the line, write autonomy. If we become too independent, we move away from others and can become aloof, distant, unapproachable, indifferent, lonely, and needy in the opposite way. The balance is interdependence—the state where we are able to contribute to relationships and still enjoy our individuality and independence. The more self-esteem we have, the more we can achieve and contribute. So, why do some politicians continue to make promises based on violating one of nature’s fundamental principles? Why do they sell political ideas that defy logic? Why the resistance?

Look at it this way: Whenever we resist something, we literally give it vitality— animation. We breathe life into whatever we are resisting by paying attention to it. And the more we resist, the more it feeds off of the struggle. Look at people as they argue. The frustration accelerates until no one is making sense. The energy of the conflict is now bigger than the two who are arguing. When we react, we lose the opportunity to create. So, you are actually moving into it and allowing it to envelop you. Again, why do some politicians sell dependency and the acceleration of resistance? This is not leadership; this is recklessness! Intensify this negative, collectivist force and you will see how socialism began. I’m not so sure that many people who aspire to political professions really understand governance. While I served as a marine, I was taught leadership traits and principles that most of us usually adhered to. It was necessary for the accomplishment of our missions. They are justice, judgment, dependability, integrity, decisiveness, trustworthiness, initiative, enthusiasm, bearing, unselfishness, courage, knowledge, loyalty, and endurance. Does this make US Marines perfect? No. However, we did get clear guidelines on professionalism. People who continue to attempt to divide this country could learn from these traits; maybe they will then cease with their sophomoric approach to problemsolving! Nowhere among these leadership traits and principles will you find negativity or its relatives—blaming, accusing, sabotaging, degrading, disrespecting, or whining. The average American who is fed up with the government and wants change complains, so why are politicians doing the same? They were elected to correct the problems that the people are complaining about, not react like whiny schoolchildren. Sometimes drama becomes damaging when it focuses on the mistakes or misfortunes of others. And when it leads to gossip, it becomes even more sinister. Indirect communications and backstabbing never solve problems. It is suggested that people engage in gossip for the sake of feeling good about themselves by making comparisons and not facing the person they scorn. This is adolescent behavior, not leadership. Professional politics should not include character assassination! That’s what some high school girls do to eliminate competition! Here’s a famous military strategy—Divide and conquer. It appears as though

some political strategists are doing just that! Or at least they are trying to do it. But why? For any person who is trying to divide a country, their motivation has to be either selfish or sinister—or both. A self-seeking attitude speaks of immaturity. Small children try to divide their parents in order to get what they want. Are some of our chosen representatives not as mature as we deserve? Some are sinister, unstable, and even downright evil. I see no other motivation for such a strategy, and if someone can show me how it can be positive or healthy, I’ll listen, but I would probably feel like I’m in the presence of a very disturbed person. The consequences of dividing a nation have dire outcomes, and one doesn’t have to be a scientist to figure that out. Such madness has nothing to do with everyone else’s reality. History shows us that those who lust for power or control have left this world with either images of foolish desires or shattered economies and shattered lives! So, why do so many folks trust the characters who shout the loudest? Their volume is obviously mistaken for sincerity or wisdom. For those who declare their narrative too vigorously, we might want to question their underlying intentions. If they are merely trying to control our thoughts and not really follow through with their promises, then we need to see their attempts as mere manipulation. And this is simply because they desire popularity, not because they want real change that leads to progress. When they raise their voice or act angry, we all need to see the truth behind their screeches. When they raise a fist above their head like Adolf Hitler or Benito Mussolini or Fidel Castro, be very wary of their true intentions. Their screeches and rants are merely attempts to control us or reduce our personal judgment through their promotion of fear! Whenever a politician or entertainer suggests rebellion or overlooks violence, you might want to question their motivation. Parents and schoolteachers shouldn’t tolerate bullying, so why would an adult in another occupation— especially a political, educational, or media-related one—do that? They put personalities before facts or good judgment or, in this case, national interest. A common sign of maturity is the ability to think ahead. A mature person weighs the consequences of their decisions and choices. An underdeveloped personality does what is popular, not what is in the best interest of everyone concerned. We make decisions constantly. Some are made from memory or by repetition.

Sometimes we are on automatic pilot and can use our brains for other tasks, such as when we are traveling or making a meal or taking a shower. Sometimes we decide to change our routines and try something new or different. In that process, we want change; however, we don’t always consider the consequences. We don’t always research the outcome or use some measure to determine the aftereffects, especially when we are deciding on life-changing events. Many of us have made decisions that didn’t quite turn out the way we planned. I believe this is what occurs when many people have to decide on a political election. Such decisions can cause our minds to meander, and we are easily influenced by the frenzied appeal of the media and the other campaign hoopla. A positive, constructive goal or plan will give far more peace to your soul. Some Hollywood personalities, politicians, and drama-seeking media types can make you irritable with their fervor for attention or a disaster, but these followers of intolerance are not the vines that produce ripe fruit. They are the pestilence that dries the vine like a drought that denies growth (creativity). There are only three places where you can live in your mind: past, present, and future. Insurgents live in the past, hoping to resurrect their once-celebrated glory. And some policrats and some biased media types act like high school groupies slinging mud as they verbally assault their opposition with all their means for character assassination. Enough already! It’s juvenile and destructive, as well as divisive. And I made that word up, Policrats! It sounds better than other descriptors for silly, imprudent adults. What is best suited for us is to be steady in our own reasoning for ourselves in the place of merely believing everything others say. I believe we all know this instinctively, but our minds can become lazy when they reflect on complex matters. It is easier to rely on others to fill in the blanks on such issues, especially those who profess to have knowledge on a subject. It is our ego’s job not to be outmaneuvered, so it tries to fill in the blanks when we get contradictory evidence. It even makes up information that it uses to give us the feel of security so we can get on with our day. It compares new data to old information and makes decisions based on that, and it is not always based on impartiality. Unfortunately, this maneuver can cause turmoil or embarrassments when we are challenged with opposing ideas. Ego is the “I” or the sense of self. The workings of the ego are, in large measure,

unconscious ones. It’s on autopilot behind the scenes, formulating responses so we can answer or counter without rehearsing. One of the ego’s primary jobs is to help us feel in control and feel accepted. The ego includes the superego (conscience), which represents the values of our parents, elders, clergy, and teachers. It is the tool or mechanism that guides thinking while we are interacting with our environment. Eric Berne’s three selves loosely correspond to Freud’s superego (parent), ego (adult), and id (child). In any given social interaction, Berne argued, we exhibit one of these basic states and can easily shift from one to another. In each mode, we can be productive or unproductive. According to Berne, when we relate to others, we often playact. While playing a game with someone, we take on the aspect of one of the three selves. “Instead of remaining neutral, genuine, or intimate, to get what we want we may feel the need to act like a commanding parent, or a coquettish child, or to take on the sage-like rational appearance of an adult.” The ego then becomes an organizer, a coordinator, or a rational or irrational decision maker that is also tasked with deciding what or who is safe or unsafe. It can be youthful or mature or supervisory. It selects the personality that fits our surroundings or becomes parental, mature, or childlike, depending on the situations or challenges we find ourselves engaged in. When certain tasks, encounters, or relationships become too challenging or confusing, the ego relies on its history to decide what decisions, words, or actions would best suit a situation. When we decide and our choices are inefficient or embarrassing, we feel out of sync, uncomfortable, or ill at ease. At no time during these exchanges are we aware that our child is engaged instead of the adult or the parent is engaged when the child should be. Now, a feeling of sickness is generally reserved for when we feel physically ill. But we oftentimes feel similar feelings when our moods shift or we feel out of control. If it gets bad enough, a doctor tells us we have a disease, which is disease or that which is out of ease with itself. So, the question then becomes, are we capable of monitoring our egos so we can better understand how we can regulate ourselves and make decisions that are more efficient or bring harmony? The truth is, we make decisions every day, and when we make judgments or assessments that turn out to be bad, it’s easier to blame others than reflect on our

own egos (characters) and correct ourselves. This is the real secret to life and to success! As you go through your day or week, see how many times those in politics or the media act in a childish manner. When it comes to politics, especially socialism, I believe that most people really don’t think too much about it until election time; however, it has become a topic that could be the ruin of a lot of people simply because very few have taken the time to research candidates or challenge these political figures who seem to be selling morality as a cure-all for America’s challenges. Sometimes we can literally project qualities that we want to see in ourselves onto these characters. But it is our desire for them to be faultless that creates their popularity, not their real selves. Their ability to pretend to be what you want to see in them is what created their reputation. And they are often eager to please, so they promise you what you desire even when they themselves feel uncertain or even incompetent. I will go into detail on this topic later in the book. For now, it is important that you realize that socialists and other radicals—be they political, religious, or media-related—follow the method of a serpent. Once they strike, their poison causes an almost-instant delirium—a brain fog that has a hypnotic effect. The victim goes into shock because of the venom and the fear that is generated by the attack. Survival becomes the call to arms as this is the tactic that spawns fear-based thinking. Once someone is bitten, it is extremely difficult to reason with them. You will not think clearly if you get bitten by a fear vendor. Once fear becomes fervor, many people develop definable indicators that are related to distress; in other words, they literally put themselves into a state of anxiety. The fact is, critical-incidence stress can be brought on by political rallies, misinformation campaigns, or radicals who come together for the sake of condoned mischief. Stress can literally be a self-imposed frenzy that is used for the sake of an adrenalin rush! In other words, self-imposed anxiety can result in a preoccupation with a cause and also disinterest in things like work, personal ability, and a socially acceptable routine.

Too many people put too much value on the drama of rhetoric! Shakespeare, in a 1600 play, coined the line, “The lady doth protest too much.” This talks about insincere acting! It’s often a tactic of those who want to distract others while they try to recover from embarrassment or misinformation—misinformation such as the words spouted by people who accuse Trump or his cabinet of Nazism. Hitler was a socialist, and he created the Nazi movement. Mussolini, a professed socialist, initiated the fascist movement in Italy! Hitler and Mussolini realized that a healthy economy doesn’t arrive on the eve of an election and is certainly not created by the redistribution of capital, so they started the biggest war in history in order to prop up their failing economies. They distracted the hungry, frustrated masses by suggesting that the failures of their political disasters were, in fact, caused by other European nations. They gave their peoples hope by suggesting that war would help them regain their once-healthy economic statuses. But they were, in reality, still reeling from the first war. Hitler, Mussolini, and Stalin are famous for their atrocities, and they were socialists who screamed into microphones and defiantly swirled their fists over their pitifully intolerant heads in order to infect their populations with blind compliance! Imagine millions of snake-bitten people chanting for narrowminded maniacs! They also collaborated with Japan. Why would two socialists ally themselves with an imperialist country? “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing” (Edmund Burke). The Renaissance began during the early 1400s and was credited for the development of humanism—a school of thought that viewed mankind as intrinsically good. It covered literary and scholarly pursuits, such as grammar, history, philosophy, and poetry—all of which are products of human thought. It ed the view that people could use their skills, such as reason and logic, to progress and have dignity. Considering the amount of time that has elapsed since the Renaissance, I would say that some politicians and their followers are on a quest to reverse humanity’s efforts to share dignity and hope, not just their own cause! It isn’t always the wisest among us who scramble to be in charge of important

matters. And sometimes, someone with “a big heart” is somewhat naive in their understanding of important matters. One of the most powerful tools that we humans have is intention. When we intend to do something, we usually find a way to follow through because intention can be motivated by a deeper drive to succeed. But some have replaced intend with depend! If we depend on others to get what we need, we will surely be disappointed and be left wanting at some point in our lives. “A single gentle rain makes the grass many shades greener so our prospects brighten on the influx of better thoughts. We should be blessed we live in the present always, and took advantage of every accident that befell us, like the grass which confesses the influence of the slightest dew that falls on it; and did not spend our time atoning for the neglect of past opportunities, which we call doing our duty. We loiter in winter while it is already spring” (Thoreau). This chapter of history is not new. Our education system has historically taught tolerance and objectivity; however, recently, some colleges and universities have become defenders of socialism and have even encouraged some students to uphold violence and biased thinking. This is particularly concerning as this tactic was used in Russia. The communists, in their arrogance, believed that the peasants and the of the middle class were unable to understand the importance of their cause. The recruiting grounds of the revolutionaries were not Russia’s factories or villages but their universities. Now we have collectivist professors at certain universities who are professing socialism but have apparently not done their own homework. They too have incited their own groupie puppies to scurry around campuses and bite at the heels of anything or anyone they don’t understand. These are thugs who are trying to silence anyone who disagrees with them, and this recklessness is now infecting our elementary school population! And this is supposed to for education? A youthful mind that is emerging from its family or community boundaries can take rebellious forms, one of which is political revolution—a favorite of the kids being influenced by wayward college faculties. In the midst of their mischief, they believe they are rewriting history, or worse, they believe the laws do not

apply to them! And that’s the difference between piracy and socialism. Socialists change the laws in order to rationalize their thievery and misdeeds. An example of this is the immature or defensive mind-set of a teenager who believes themselves to be a prophet of accuracy even though they are still emerging from puberty. An undeveloped character can become more than a nuisance if they are left to their own incompetence. They see themselves as romantics or heroes of the people; however, in their delusion, they overlook reality and focus on their playacting. But if a personality who has reached what we call maturity continues with youthful fantasies that become dangerous, falling into the hands of injustice and violence, who intervenes? Adolescents can be inflexible. They tend to overuse emotions. Their perceptions are sometimes misunderstood; however, they seldom try to use listening skills to understand why others are frustrated with them. They have difficulty with understanding their own motivations and are more likely to blame others when their decisions don’t result in the outcomes they had planned. They are, of course, more impulsive and therefore more vulnerable to suggestions—even if those suggestions don’t culminate in any positive outcome. We are either part of the problem or part of the solution. And if you say you are part of the solution but offer no viable, workable resolutions, then you are still part of the problem. If you run amok, scream, or get angry, you are still part of the problem. And finding fault and blaming are unnecessary elements that merely feed the fire of discontent. So, where do we start? Since local schools, especially elementary schools, already have captive audiences, why not start there? Develop a curriculum for the parents and a curriculum for the children; these will discuss the different types of intelligence and begin preparing kids and their parents for their future goals. I will elaborate on this agenda in chapters 9, 10, 11, and 12. Make certain that the teachers leave their personal politics at home! Young minds are fertile and naive; they are easy prey for biased adults. As for funding, scads of tax dollars are going to programs that are inefficient! Tap those funds and don’t raise taxes! There’s also a lot of available grant money. Write a decent grant proposal and then celebrate the miracles! I will also expound on this in later chapters.

This insanity regarding children murdering their classmates in schools needs to be resolved as well. Suggesting that teachers should be armed is ludicrous! Teachers should be protected with their students! Local law enforcement can assist with the education of families. And if you believe that arms manufacturers and the National Rifle Association (NRA) are able for part of this problem, send them a grant proposal for this part of the curriculum! With all the bad press they’ve been getting, I’m sure they will capitulate. I’m sure there are a lot of veterans with antiterrorism training who would like to help as well. And don’t forget to tap local mental-health experts. I once worked with an organization that provided mental-health services to elementary schools and high schools. We traveled from school to school and made appointments with troubled kids. It was successful, and it was grant-funded. There are many quips about learning. You can’t fight the water, but you can learn to swim. You can’t fight the wind, but you can learn to sail. Helping people learn to embrace wisdom is the key to making such programs successful. Research the how’s and detail your findings in a grant proposal! People do not always change because they are introduced to wisdom, so include methods of motivating indifferent families to respond to the curricula! A life of integrity involves living life according to higher principles. This means one must lead by example and by a set of behaviors that others can judge as respectful, dignified, responsible, ive, and constructive. These are the standards by which we hold our political figures and educators, so we need to ask, are they inspired by the principles of integrity? Do they understand that cooperation, not disunity, is the key to success? How can our elected officials really focus on and try to solve pressing national problems when their minds are so distorted by disunity and disagreement? If we find ourselves questioning their loyalty to all of us, not just the few who their agendas, then they already fail a basic leadership test. The final questions we all need to ask ourselves are these: Do I want a handout or a hand-up? Do I want a stipend that will only help me survive at the poverty level, or do I want a personalized education that is coupled with opportunity? If we are not internally directed and internally motivated, there will be no achievement and therefore no success! And no matter how much politicians offer

gratuities, nothing will change unless or until we decide for ourselves that we have to create our own destiny. And I am not unaware of the fact that wayward children cannot develop a moral anchor that can steady their youthful shallowness without intervention. They are adrift on a sea of misjudgments—misjudgments that overshadow their potential and ability to think beyond their circumstances. So, how can they evaluate their predicament, which is a product of their family and friends, if their environment is unsuitable to success? More suitable influences and true leadership at home and in the community cannot be injected into a body that refuses to it its incompetence. Entire communities will require an enormous shift in thinking before they can start reshaping reckless and misguided traditions and inefficient behaviors. The longer someone struggles in quicksand, the more they risk becoming a statistic. So, if we do not push for more effective interventions, nothing will change.

Chapter 3

Creative

First, everyone is creative. The rub lies in the fact that too many people aren’t aware of their own unique and dormant innate talents that allow for individual creativity. It’s disguised as imagination, and the real issue is, too many are not educated regarding this fact, so childish fears that arise from unexpressed aptitude become adult uncertainty, not confidence. Confusion lingers inside some people merely because they were never encouraged to explore their Godgiven creative talents. We do not have to live every day of our lives in emotional, psychological, social, or economic poverty. If we look at what the future can hold for us in a more encouraging, constructive way, we unlock and access a different future that is filled with more favorable outcomes. We can create or recreate our reality merely by being positive and crafting new possibilities for ourselves. Our thoughts are what create either negative or positive outcomes! The more mindful we are of our motivations and thoughts, the more we can create a life of our own design. It will no longer be a life of happenstance or blind chance. You can choose to be a participant or victim of your environment, or you can choose to be more conscious of your choices, goals, and resources. We can also create depression, frustration, stagnation, misunderstandings, etc. But these options can be avoided, and I’ll go into more detail on how we can do that in chapters 10, 11, 12, and 13. When any person or group of people tries to stifle healthy creativity, initiative, good judgment, decisiveness, independence, and efficacy, the consequences are damaging—not only for the individuals involved but also for the cultures involved as well. This is the outcome of socialism! Believe me! Socialists and some policrats say that there are those who lack opportunity

regarding education and future employment, and I agree with them on this! However, throwing the almighty dollar at programs designed to assist others has not been effective for the larger percentage of those people. The fact is, our personal finances and personal opportunities don’t improve on the eve of a political election. What sometimes occurs is a change in the overall economy that gives us the benefit of new opportunities; however, our own unique talents and a recognition of them are the keys that will unlock the door to personal progress. And when personal creativity blossoms exponentially, our country benefits. Personal and shared successes create a stronger nation and a “more perfect union” (US Constitution). No organization or social construction in America survives on negativity, and neither does an effective leader. But I see some politicians now who are lost in a sea of disharmony and stagnation. When I lived in California, some Hispanic friends used to ask, “Are you a Mexican or a Mexican’t?” Well, are you an American or an American’t? If you are a true American, be proud. Stand tall and be part of the solution, not the problem. And be able for yourself. Stop blaming the system that you are a part of! As long as anyone allows a negative political entity or media entity to influence their place on the team, they will feel divisive and disappointed. If someone really wants socialism in America, that person should at least do their homework. Stop being a Democan’t and try being a Democan! A Republican, not a Republican’t. What keeps us from being creative? Our appetite grows on what it feeds on, and so too does our personality grow on the messages it feeds on—the messages we resurrect, replicate, and repeat to ourselves as we experience life. If we continue to repeat messages to ourselves like “I’m not good enough,” “Things never work out for me,” “I can’t,” “It won’t work,” and “I’m always the loser,” then all those things become true. This pattern of thought is reactive, not creative. It is destructive. Our lives are the results of our own thoughts and words. It is literally self-sabotage that is brought about by uncertainty or insecurity, and if it is not recognized and dealt with, it can bring about a lifetime of misery, disappointment, and wanting. All too often, our enemy is not somewhere out there but hiding in our own minds. The truth is this: Wanting keeps us alive. It keeps us energized and engaged.

However, wanting, by itself, can never reveal a life of accomplishment, achievement, success, or the kind of ion necessary for our dreams. Peace, love, and joy are options. You will not achieve these states of contentment or fulfillment through negativity. If you want to be happy, be happy! If you choose sadness, so be it! But try not to stay at its side for too long. You will forfeit too many opportunities. If you choose anarchy, so be it! However, be sure to make yourself available to the consequences of that choice. And if you want to do something different, then by all means, do it. But be aware of the consequences if that choice leads to a path of immorality or illegality. If you feel like withdrawing from life or becoming pitiable, then fine, but don’t stay with self-pity too long, or life will you by. If you want to make more money, great! Find a new path within your framework of wisdom and resources, and then turn your attention to the details that will make sure that you develop a path to that goal. Invest your energy! Being positive, confident, and energetic should always take precedence over a negative attitude. Be an American, not an American’t. If you are caring, friendly, helpful, considerate, confident, and cheerful, you can’t lose. If you are thorough and detailed in your approach to problem-solving, you can’t lose. But you will also need patience and endurance. Keep trying even when you are faced with disappointment. That’s the path to success. Be the light that leads, not the darkness that dulls and confuses. This is the formula for success! Oh, and find out what you are good at; this will eliminate most of the competition. Don’t compete against other people who have the innate or inherent skills to overcome your efforts. I’ll discuss this in greater detail in chapter 9. Why has it been so difficult for some people to embrace these simple concepts for so many years? Well, it has to do with a lack of maturity, quite frankly. You see, not everyone truly matures emotionally, and we can see that in many adult behaviors, and I’ll also detail this issue in chapter 9. For now, look at some actors, entertainers of this breed, and politicians. Some live for approval and applause. But the applause becomes hollow after a while, and when they do not get enough, they create even more drama. Their need for attention is, of course, childlike, and over time, it turns into an insatiable desire for fame. “Poor dears”—that’s what we say about children when they interrupt something or show off. This emptiness/hollowness cannot be filled by usual human interaction, attentiveness, or courtesy. Living in a mansion doesn’t help

either! This emptiness has its roots in the reactive state, not the creative one! When one reacts, they re-act or act something again and again. We use the same scripts or the same ideas, not realizing that they are obsolete. They do not serve us in the here and now. And what part does our education system play in this drama? I see far too many educators trying to influence political thinking, and such an act is unprofessional and thoughtlessly selfish if it’s biased and negative. I have taught at two universities and two colleges, and I know what I experienced. Some educators try to infect their students with their opinions even when they aren’t sociology or political-science teachers! How can our youth escape biases and obstructed thinking if our education system continues to inject one-sided rhetoric into their learning? All too often, schools teach our children what to think while not teaching them how to think. And how will anyone learn objectivity and autonomy from taxpayer-funded programs of one-sided logic? The great philosophers and scientists of the past believed in alternative thinking. When someone does that today, they are thinking outside the box. It’s the only reasonable path to the truth or maturity. Socrates and Plato discussed this subject very poignantly over two thousand years ago, and scientists like Einstein were famous for their use of it! So, why do some media entities continue to give a handful of misfits the news coverage they crave? They are only a sizable minority, but the media entities still contend that they are formidable. They are immature rascals who need more attention than the average citizen—that’s all! Their agenda is reactive, not creative. Currently, some policrats are obstructing the progress that the new president is trying to generate, and preventing progress is obstructing creativity! This is the tactic of a child who wants to derail other kids who are doing well in school merely because of jealousy or low self-esteem. And again, I’m not judging; this is a calculated observation. This behavioral pattern is usually abandoned during adolescence—when youngsters figure out that cooperation has more rewards, both personally and socially.

Still, in some so-called adults, we see the generators of negativity and reactionary behaviors that serve no one. These political figures are our employees. They are paid with our hard-earned tax dollars. If employers of conventional businesses had employees who were being divisive or subversive, they would be fired! Subjective logic leads to biased thinking and closes off alternative ideas, and this often leads to a lack of reason and purposeful intention. A life without purpose is the most horrific of destinies, and this has been the cause of many tragedies because people are mentally quarantined by such tactics. To have no purpose is to have no life! So, we must all ask ourselves, who gives us purpose? When we give ourselves purpose, we finally begin to plan our own future and literally recreate ourselves. We can become the people we want to be without the influence of those who want to control our thoughts. Sometimes our thoughts and values become an anchor that keeps us from drifting away with the currents of life. The weight of our opinions can have an adverse effect and keeps us from realizing some alternative truths that would be obvious if we weren’t so deliberately tied to our beliefs about right and wrong, good and bad, popular and unpopular, accurate or inaccurate, and safe or unsafe. So, one’s judgments are based on the accuracy or inaccuracy of the decisions of their unique history. When figures such as politicians, educators, or entertainters (those who try to taint our decisions with their agendas) exude opinions, it is easy to assume that they must be right or accurate because they hold the microphone. But they too have anchors—weights that can prevent them from making suitable judgments—so don’t be fooled. Our values too are meant to be anchors of a sort; they keep us on a moral course, which is consistent with the laws of our culture. But there are those who believe that their values are the material things they want. When some people desire something strongly enough, their motto seems to be “The law doesn’t apply to me” or “The law doesn’t apply in this situation.” They attempt to rationalize their behaviors in order to get what they want, which is dangerous for our culture because such a departure from our shared values for personal gain leads to crime —a form of childish self-interest. Control is one of the tactics of some political candidates. They say that they want a better life for us, but their misinformation often indicates otherwise. And

they often use tactics that make us feel like we are not in control or are being victimized by the opposing party. When someone feels like they are not in control, they instinctively try to regain control. Sometimes politicians use fearbased tactics, which are unnecessary and inefficient. Actually, it’s manipulation and can result in unnecessary and even dangerous consequences. This is a manipulation of the brain, specifically the human ego, and I expect more from someone who professes to be a leader! This is adolescent behavior. Pay better attention during the next reelection cycle. Towns and cities will only realize success through collective motivation and independent thinking, not external motivation or a reliance on fear-based speechmaking. There are many small communities, towns, and cities that were economically depressed, but their citizens came together to revitalize their economies. Other communities could use them as examples. Likewise, individuals can only realize long-term success through internal motivation, which results in interdependence. External motivation should only be applied during childhood. Some parents literally rob their children of selfdiscovery out of fear and then continue this process into adulthood, thinking they are just being protective parents. The gifts of self-discovery and self-esteem allow us all to bask in the light of our accomplishments and independence. Please, my fellow citizens, stop stealing your children’s futures because of fear or, worse, self-interest or guilt! Dependency is often seen as necessary; however, interdependence needs to be the real goal, and too many people confuse the two. Interdependence suggests that we should be able to engage in relationships with others while differentiating ourselves from others. Each of us must maintain their autonomy in order to contribute to a relationship—to add to it, not subtract from it. Those who relinquish their sense of self (their own logic) or those who have not learned to differentiate their selves from others are more likely to be influenced by bias or negativity. We were not born into servitude but rather born to become unfixed individuals who think by interacting with others. We are not here to be manipulated or forced; we are here to participate. We must literally become the sum of our parts—psychologically, emotionally, intellectually, and physically. This allows a person to develop a homogeneous self that is prepared for interactions with others while not giving up a person’s unique parts.

Nature calls on all of us to be creative and to generate new ideas, not old patterns that lead to old conclusions. We are called upon to continue the original model for creation, not to destroy and certainly not to make reactionary conclusions that generate conflict or degradation. There is actually a diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for dependent personality disorder. Its criteria are as follows:

― Has difficulty with making everyday decisions without seeking advice ― Needs others to assume responsibility for most areas of their life ― Has difficulty with expressing disagreements (unassertive) ― Has difficulty with initiating projects on their own ― Goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance ― Considers a relationship to be a source of care and ― Is unrealistically preoccupied with the fear of being abandoned

The more we allow other people or governments to control us, the more vulnerable we become. Negativity continues to plague us while we yearn for peace of mind and a more comfortable lifestyle. It is our attitudes that need review and change. This great nation has been proud and strong since its inception. Our forefathers faced many challenges and overcame them. The recent diatribe of the media and some politicians is not a new phenomenon, but it is different in that some characters are trying to divide the nation, and they are so intent on selling their version of right that the effect has caused far too much disharmony. While the problems are obvious, instead of offering solutions, defiance,

mayhem, guilt, misery, and murder are on the menus of some media outlets! And some continue to use their popularity to propagate opinions that are not always based on research or fact. This book uses socialism as an example. It is important that you realize that socialism belongs to a continuum too. A society cannot survive without industry and commerce. Socialism moves away from the freedom to choose flexible economic approaches and has unfortunately always resulted in forms of oppression. There are two types of control. If we react anxiously to our environment, it’s called an external locus of control. If we seem to be contemplative and unaffected by challenges, it’s called an internal locus of control. The more we are reactionary, the more we develop the thing that is commonly called stress. There are two types of stress: eustress and distress. Eustress is good for one’s vital force—the thing that energizes and animates one’s body systems or functions. It is like emotional and psychological oxygen. Distress more accurately describes how we react to the turmoil in our lives in unhealthy ways. This is what the media prefers to report on! I’ll discuss stress later in the book. Right now, I need to debate this idea of stress on campuses and how students need some form of sanctuary because of distress! I am dismayed by this inane reporting because I’m quite certain that not all college students need help with stress, and again, the media tends to over report many social issues. My question is this: How many really need to pet animals or have a safe place before going to take mid or finals? Are students really not able to handle exams because of the changing of the guard at the White House? I was an adjunct at two universities and two colleges for over fifteen years and taught psychology. I never experienced students not being able to perform because of political elections! Some media entities focus only on what they perceive to be unstable. That is selfish, unprofessional, and dangerous! And it is certainly not constructive; rather, it is destructive and even misleading. It’s time for them to recognize the resilience of the human spirit. It’s time for them to recognize the good in things. Eliminate the negative and accentuate the positive. So, our chosen representatives, where’s the love? Where’s the understanding, the humility, the objectivity, the integrity, the unity, the mature judgments, the

dependability, and the initiative? Sometimes life is not about good or bad or right or wrong; sometimes it’s about degrees of efficiency. So, where’s the efficiency? Hollowood characters, where’s the love? The objectivity, the understanding, and the mature decision-making? The ion of real love (not the pretend ion that you are paid so well to emulate)? Where is the true wisdom of your soul (not the sophomoric, high school attempts to be popular)? Media, where is the objectivity, the honesty, and the unbiased reporting that we deserve? Where’s the comion for those who suffer? Where’s the ability? Are some of you afraid that you may find yourself no longer needed without injustice, slander, lawlessness, anger, and fear? There is a huge difference between reporting the news and creating the news! Some media outlets act in their own best interest or a political party’s interest when their personal opinions become polluted with biases and interfere with integrity, honesty, and objectivity. These agendas do not always favor the truth or the American people. There is a term that is used by law enforcement and medical personnel, especially coroners—confirmation bias. It suggests that nothing can be assumed without establishing facts. In other words, before one can any conclusion, facts are necessary. Facts are not made by the influence of someone’s jargon or propaganda. I wonder how many politicians and their followers actually research their suppositions before they pick up a microphone? Do some of them use unfounded or unexamined information or even allegations to make themselves popular? There is an older movie, Absence of Malice, which brings this behavior to light with glaring reality. A more recent movie on the subject is Nothing but the Truth. So-called educators! Where’s the objectivity? Where is your sense of professionalism? Where is the integrity? And if you must bombast, do it at a faculty meeting! Stop using your popularity and entrusted position to spit out biases and spite. Where’s the love? Where’s the understanding? You are supposed to be an example of maturity for our youth, not a political platform for your own subjective agendas. Where is your confirmation bias? We should not be influenced by people who want us to follow some course that goes against our natural instincts. Too often human expectations are unrealistic,

unclear, unspoken, elevated, or nonnegotiable. This is part of the issue we are dealing with as a nation—inflexible minds! God did not place any of us on this earth to be constantly idle or overly dependent on others. We were all gifted with talents and strengths. It is up to us to discover ourselves through unique journeys. And love does not create laws. Fear and tradition create laws. The best way to stay safe and prosperous is to avoid the pitfalls of aligning oneself with inefficiency, anger, idleness, suspiciousness, or people who want to do harm. Avoid the doomsday characters, the reactionaries, the gangsters, the drug dealers, and the arguers. The purpose of a family, then, is to create an environment where children can define themselves and create a future that allows their unique talents to flourish. And nowhere in this equation can there be idleness or dependency lest the child become the opposite of their potential. But how do we legislate the building of a healthy foundation for families? How do we legislate the activation of an educational structure that families need to follow? This, of course, could offend some people, so it is a topic that is often overlooked by political figures. It is seen as insensitive, but sensitivity will not assist those who long for a better way of life. All too often, many people cling to useless, outdated, ineffective codes of behavior that keep them chained to mediocrity or sameness, which is a life they believe to be their inheritance but want to fantasize their way out of! They have no idea that they can, in fact, dictate their way out of it and prescribe new possibilities and directions by means of a new state of mind. The course of our lives is not static and predetermined but fluid and flexible. We can change our attitudes and our future. It’s being done all the time by others who have figured this out. Despite the feelings of entrapment, there is a built-in resolution in all of us. It is an insight or intuition that can be cultivated and will bring about new possibilities for the future. Uncertainty is the enemy of success, and the issue becomes success or failure—both choices being ours to embrace. But too often people choose compliance. They decide to conform to the life they already know and avoid the unfamiliar. They choose the same behaviors while overlooking the possibility that could begin a new and exciting future.

Chapter 4

Reactive

Perhaps the most important question we all need to be asking ourselves and our fellow man is this: Why do some people use fear-based tactics to secure our attention or our votes? Being reactive is, at times, an example of not being helpful and is often not constructive but destructive. At each juncture of our lives, we can choose either growth or stagnation—to be creative or reactive. These stages of growth must help our youth come to some kind of resolution about where they stand in relation to their community and their peers. And if their community is dangerous and without opportunity, we, as a culture, should be sensible enough to assist those in need, but we must do so without the constraints of socialism. Directing massive amounts of money at poverty pockets has not worked. Welfare is obsolete! Unless societies do what is truly efficient regarding a successful age through everyone’s life-turning points, the costs will be continuing crime, unemployment, poverty, and a drain on national and community resources. Competent education and teaching discipline at home are the answers. The school is not able for a child’s bad behavior; the child’s parents are! We must also respect individual differences—things that socialism despises. “It’s time to stop asking how smart you are and start asking how are you smart” (Howard Gardner). If you are a puppet of politicians or the media, start thinking for yourself. Question your school’s faculty. If they show obvious biases, that should show you their lack of professionalism. Think beyond the rhetoric and hollow promises. Listen to the voice of reason. Howard Gardner classifies the types of intelligence as follows: linguistic, logical-mathematical, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, visual-spatial, interpersonal, and intrapersonal. He says we all have them in varying degrees and combinations.

Unless our schools begin to define students according to this reasoning and try to lead each individual toward their unique destiny, little will change, especially in poverty areas. We never grow/advance emotionally, psychologically, or developmentally by remaining inactive, inert, or idle. Although inactivity can give us a sense of security, it is a false sense of safety that, in time, becomes laissez-faire (sluggishness), which throttles motivation. Esteem does not progress without challenges (experiments or contests), and self-actualizing will not be our inheritance if we fail to become objective. I believe that we are all blessed with curiosity, and it is only when that curiosity is stifled that we become unproductive. The mind becomes drained by carelessness as a lack of physical exercise becomes tiredness. We mature through experience and action. There is no other way to grow. We must initiate our own achievements. Each new discovery should add to one’s personality. This results in their sense of self-worth. I will go into more detail on the types of intellect later in the book, but it is critical that everyone knows that each of us has a particular set of abilities that make up one’s wisdom, and if they are not cultivated, some kids end up doomed to live a life without meaning, achievement, dignity, or gratification. During the Middle Ages, the Renaissance, which means “rebirth,” came of age in Europe. The extent of human knowledge was drastically increased because of a renewed interest in Greek and Latin literatures. Ancient philosophers were again recognized for their wisdom, and a new humanism emerged with a clear theme—man has some control over his own fate. Why now, some 620 years later, do we have so many millions who believe otherwise? What is it about education that seems to elude some and not others? Humans have been bombarded with theories for generations, so it becomes paramount that we educate ourselves so that we can distinguish which ideas are useful and which are not. Which ideas are antiquated and which still have relevance? But if our education system is biased, we are left with the same problems that plagued the previous generations. We need to start being creative, not reactive. It’s interesting that socialists have infiltrated some of our colleges and preach their doctrines to our youth, who accept these ideas without challenge! But that’s socialism. It is not the plan that our founding fathers had in mind. They crafted

our Constitution so as to allow individual achievement that is rewarded! Another tenet of our founding fathers was that we should be able to live and work without governmental interference or at least be able to keep the government under control and not the other way around. Now please understand this: Free enterprise cannot flourish under a central government, which is what socialism demands! Our founding fathers also professed, “One nation under God,” but that too has been degraded by socialism and anti-faith gangsters in favor of disunity. Where would we be without faith? And these characters, although they make up a small minority, have infected our courts while our politicians did nothing. And as long as we believe that our control is outside of ourselves, we leave the making of critical decisions to others and forfeit our potential. What does it take to become successful? Why are some people financially secure while others loiter in poverty? Success involves a variety of factors, such as initiative, ambition, decisiveness, endurance, courage, creativity, inspiration, and knowing one’s unique talents. So, what is the key ingredient that assists the person who has or is developing these traits? Opportunity! So, why aren’t other countries or some people in our own culture successful? The putting off of what we need to do for our own survival and success can end in disaster, as many of us have learned through experience. What message are we really giving people when we refer to them as less fortunate? Less gets translated by the brain as “exclusion” or “a reduced amount.” It can equate to “less capable,” “less worthy,” or “less esteemed.” No wonder so many people in this country and other countries continue to tolerate scarcity and remain reactive, not creative! They follow their instincts and fret over their next meal instead of pursuing a higher purpose, a better life, or a future they can control, not a future that will control them! But making the less fortunate dependent on a system or an attorney who specializes in assisting people get into a welfare, social-security, or disability mentality has not worked! It has only complicated this dilemma and added to an already-bloated socialservices budget. What is really needed is a system that includes helping people determine what they are good at, educating them on courses that fit their talents, and helping them learn to set goals and objectives that obtain success! Teach them how to use the opportunities that are available.

If we all became more encouraging, more progressive, more decisive, and more assertive, this country would be far ahead of the pack where morale and pride are concerned, individual as well as shared. And I do not believe that we need a national or natural disaster or another war to bring us together. How do we offer a positive approach of assistance to those who are ready to transition to an attitude of growth-related understanding? How do we engage the personal assets of those who are in need as opposed to just offering them idyllic propositions such as socialism? Why not “I’m alive, I’m healthy, and I live in the land of opportunity!”? Be grateful for what we have and for the opportunities yet to come if we are willing to invest in ourselves, not withdraw into seclusion and “loiter in winter while it is already spring” (Thoreau). This is deficit thinking. Deficient morale leads to reactive, not creative, efficacy; it’s stifling, not liberating. It calls out of fear, not out of curiosity or spontaneity or potential or a will to succeed or individual determination. It’s not American; it’s American’t! What I am suggesting is that we are all either in the role of parent, adult, or child even when government affairs are concerned. We can behave like a frightened child who has no experience that will help them overcome new challenges or like a knowledgeable, confident, educated adult who can stand firm against something that we know to be ridiculous and inefficient. Whether it involves our own children or the children of our great nation, it is our individual responsibility to instill the less fortunate with a sense of conviction and selfreliance that they do not realize they already have. “It’s not what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know that just ain’t true” (Mark Twain). Nature’s contract regarding maturity for us humans has to do with integrating the parts of ourselves into a whole, or gestalt, that can blossom into success. But many people are diminished by their lack of personal development and believe they must remain isolated from the successes they witness. I have given this subject a lot of thought over the years and do not pretend to have all the answers. The techniques that I will suggest in the coming chapters may or may not be of relevance to everyone, but I am making the effort to challenge the difficulties that we have faced as a society for years. One of my most enlightening lessons was that people respond to a heart-to-heart

conversation; a complicated psychological intervention is not always required. I am not saying that people do not benefit from psychology or the varied styles that assist others. I’m suggesting that treating each other with respect is the most helpful trail to the cabin. There are those in politics who overlook integrity once they are in office even though we believe that they took an oath for service, not for personal gain. For honorable service, not for personal advantage. For unselfishness and objectivity, not for party favors and petty loyalties. For courage, not empty platitudes and double-talk that create disharmony instead of progress. For all Americans, not just those who swoon at the sight of someone who believes they are entitled. For the sake of a higher good, not simply for one’s own party affiliation. I suppose that if I were a typical capitalist, I would tell people to not develop an appetite for what they can’t afford, but America has the highest credit–debt ratios of any other country in the world, so that would probably offend too many people. But beyond the rationalization of facts, there are those who have an appetite for basic needs and can’t afford to survive, so assisting those in true need is, in fact, a collective need of our society. This dilemma of balancing wealth is a serious matter for our political appointees, but again, a genuine, comprehensive plan is not going to be developed when politicians are squabbling over ideologies instead of working together to help those in need. They have to develop programs that will help people float to the top of the equality equation instead of merely using this issue as a propaganda technique that will encourage votes at election time.

Chapter 5

Facts, Not Fairy Tales

What America needs now more than campaign promises and the kind of rhetoric that incites divisiveness are facts. Fairy-tale stories that are designed to influence certain voting blocs are é! How about some good old-fashioned honesty? Tell us the truth! We can handle it! And socialism is just that—a fairy tale designed to incite certain segments of a population. We used to refer to our appointed officials as political leaders. Now we just call them politicians. I can’t recall when this changed, but it is obvious that too many Americans are dissatisfied by the lack of leadership of today’s politics. Today, some representatives seem to prefer exposing their opponent’s personality flaws in order to gain an advantage or make themselves look good. Sounds immature to me! Isn’t that similar to high school behavior? Isn’t that reactive instead of creative? There is a military strategy that is designed to throw off or mislead enemy weapons; it is called chaff. It is expelled from an aircraft in hot bursts so as to mislead and confuse heat-seeking missiles. A similar tactic is employed by some policrats, and it is done to mislead voters and take the focus off of their own mistakes and wayward intentions. What is of interest to me is that we now have political figures and campaigners who weren’t alive during the eras when some countries were devastated by socialism and communism. Some people haven’t a clue as to the horrors that were perpetrated on millions of citizens who were fooled by socialist fervor and misinformation merely because of a social appetite for change. Democracy is a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. Democracy is indeed a set of ideas and principles about freedom, but it also consists of a set of practices and procedures that have been molded through a

long, often-tortuous history. In short, democracy is the institutionalization of freedom. For this reason, it is possible to identify the time-tested fundamentals of constitutional government, human rights, and equality before the law that a society must possess before it can be properly called democratic. In a democratic society, majority rule must be coupled with guarantees of individual human rights that, in turn, serve to protect the rights of minorities— whether ethnic, religious, or political. If some politicians try to mislead us by suggesting that socialism is a descendant of democracy, we must understand their motivation, which is to glean votes, for their rhetoric is unfortunately in error because deviousness is not and has never been a form of government that encourages individual freedoms or a free market. Their misinformed disciples could use some critically important history, which is in chapter 8. There is a difference between the economy of a country and politics; however, politicians can have an effect on their economy in negative or positive ways. Marketing is an industry that serves commerce, but again, politicians can use marketing techniques to influence voting decisions and even sabotage an opponent. Socialism usurps freedom of choice and places it in the custody of bureaucrats. One of our greatest freedoms is our ability to work and earn a fair salary without government interference. Socialism replaces this constitutional right by instituting a regulatory system that dictates how much of our income we can keep, thus stifling creativity. “Though we cannot out vote them, we will out argue them,” (Johnson, 1778). This juvenile mode of getting one’s way should be obvious to all as this is what some policrats have been doing since the last election. How has this come about? People trusting and listening to those who aren’t really being helpful. They do have opinions, but what makes them more sensible than any of us? Are they truly objective and accurate? But we often trust them based on the fact that we believe they are suited for leadership. This explains why we give up almost total control on important matters instead of listening to the voice within. Then we make someone else’s ideas our own! Too often we think that if we are afraid that we might be wrong, we have to leave the

decisions to someone else. This is easier, but we end up disappointed when they begin to make mistakes that affect millions of people and trillions of dollars! It’s time for Americans to expect maturity and a comprehensive approach to problem-solving from party . The more verbose and radical their recitals, the more we should be concerned with their motives. Ranting needs to be seen for what it is—either bluster or sweet talk. Such tactics are akin to a child who can’t get through the candy gauntlet at the grocery store without a convulsion. It is basically a disguise for some hollow or weak agenda. We need to make candidates explain their promises in distinct segments. Give us a clearcut, well-defined plan that consists of a problem, a goal, and an objective. Don’t just rant about what’s wrong with your opponent! Don’t just give us what you are going to do; include the how and the when. Break it down and give us details. We aren’t stupid! Most of us believe that there is a power greater than ourselves, and this can easily be taken advantage of by not only certain religions but also certain social and political factions. We have a strong need to belong and to have hope, so coming together seems to be a safe way to meet needs and encourage change. Political activities attract people not because of their ideologies and promises but because, secondary to the rhetoric that politicos sermonize, of the sense of protection that they seem to offer. And some media outlets are their unfailing allies in this effort. In other words, some politicians capitalize on fervor while knowing full well that they won’t and can’t really keep their promises. The pledges become assurances, but they are not realistic in some cases and do not offer incremental changes that are realistic. There has been a lot of investigation into hypnosis, and the findings are quite interesting. As it turns out, there is such a thing as mass hypnosis, and it can be applied to political movements. Hypnosis is usually self-induced in that we simply tune out the stimuli around us and focus on something of interest; it is sort of like daydreaming. Just as imaginary events can cause fear, sadness, or happiness, others around us, if they are given control, can induce a state of fear, uncertainty, or euphoria. This is what some political candidates do! It’s quite ingenuous when you think about it.

Hypnosis actually induces a state between wakefulness and sleep where we can be very suggestible. We can even take on other people’s ideas as if they were our own, just as children do. In fact, hypnotists say that subjects under hypnosis are a lot like little kids—playful and imaginative—and they seem to fully embrace almost any suggestion. Basically, they disguise their message so that they can evade the ear and mindfulness; thus, it will flow directly into our judgment—unchecked and uncensored. Your conscious mind doesn’t have to filter through everything all day long. We have another part of the mind that allows us to ignore what we are doing, such as driving a car, taking a shower, etc. So, it seems like the hypnotist’s suggestions are coming directly from the subconscious rather than from another person. We react automatically to these impulses and suggestions—just as we would to our own thoughts. Of course, the subconscious mind does have a conscience, a survival instinct, and its own ideas, so there are a lot of things that it won’t agree to. But since political promises and fear tactics aren’t personally threatening, it is easy to entertain such propositions. And the more we relax our reality filters, the more suggestable we are. Televangelists are likewise talented at mesmerizing some people into sending their hard-earned money to a simulated charity. Some policrats are good at fooling people once they are spellbound by a political frenzy. This is why I warn against listening to people who scream in anger and raise their fist in the air. It’s actually melodrama that brings about a fear response and is, in itself, hypnotic. But who wants to it that they are spellbound? itting that we were duped would be humiliating, so most of us ignore the reality of the situation just to avoid embarrassment. But now we have some characters in politics who promise to pay off student loans! What’s next? Are the taxpayers going to pay off home loans, auto loans, and credit-card debt too? Is anyone naive enough to believe that such tactics wouldn’t bankrupt our nation’s economy? Where is all of this money going to come from? These are false promises that are based solely on someone’s need to be in charge!

And this idea is apparently so viral that it has not only infected many in politics but has also spread within the media industry! Awaken from your spellbound trance! American youth, this will not work! These are false promises from false prophets. It’s a hocus-pocus magic show, and when the election is over, these rascals will disappoint you as quickly as they hypnotized you. There is a new theme: the science of creativity. It is about bringing your own ideas to life, not someone else’s. So, before we begin a new project, it’s important that we realize that we can design and generate change for ourselves. We don’t need to depend on political platforms or handouts from taxpayer programs. We need to focus on our own deeds and desires and then begin to plan and set goals. In order to reach a goal, we must have objectives that include resources and time frames and intentions. We must have personal goals, not the ambitions of others. This means that we must use internal motivation, not, external motivation. Some people spend a lifetime telling themselves that they’re not good enough or they don’t have enough. Well, enough already! In order to have, we need to create for ourselves. I will go into detail on this topic in chapters 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13. We expect our institutions to work toward peace, freedom, and equality, but have they done so? Have many corporations done so? They haven’t been able to solve problems like equal opportunity or even freedom of speech. Now some so-called egalitarians and their radicals shout down anyone who disagrees with their line of thought. Some in government still have not figured out how to redistribute resources equitably. Their only solution is to raise taxes, or literally steal from those who take the initiative to earn more. As for helping us govern the behavior of our fellow man, it doesn’t look like they are accomplishing that mission. Our crime rates continue to be an embarrassment, and the courts and prisons are bloated. This, of course, has to do with some families not being educated; however, the government has done little to correct this problem either. The coalition of offbeat political characters with very different agendas seems to be a fragmented and confusing attempt at problem-solving. Their strategy seems to be one of groping and complaining as opposed to one of organizing and setting attainable goals. Their tactics appear crude as they seem to focus on degrading their opposition rather than telling the American people exactly what their intentions are. And most important of all, how much is it going to cost?

Promises aside, what in hell are they really up to? Obsessing over the imperfections of their opponents is not going to solve problems! And it certainly isn’t going to help all of us in ways that are measurable and sustainable. And creating fantasy or utopian imaginings about free health care, free college, or free anything is dangerous politics! Lies are told by little children when they fear the repercussions for their bad deeds, and such misinformation should not be a part of any sustainable political composition. There are two important categories of reality: confidence-based reality and fearbased reality. We can respond to them in differing ways; however, we all react to these realities regularly. When it comes to politics, some candidates develop a platform manner tailored to project confidence that seems to indicate that they truly are worthy of being elected. The problem is, they can often give the appearance of confidence through the use of bravado. And as far as fear-based reality goes, political figures can use anxiety and worry to influence our voting decisions. If an entire community or city is facing fearful outcomes, they are dealing with a shared fear-based reality that is composed of higher rates of crime, unemployment, debt, a lack of future prospects, etc. Some political figures target these communities by making promises based on predicted results, but too often their promises are hollow! The constituencies of these communities naturally want to trust the one holding the microphone and yelling confidence-based outcomes, but after the election, are there long-term positive changes, or do people in these cities or towns once again have to deal with fear-based realities? Confidence can be faked! Those who need assistance can be duped into voting for a candidate based on their promises because most people don’t really research a candidate’s background or ability to do the job. Their opponents research their personal history in order to use their mistakes against them. Why not research what works and what doesn’t in politics instead? Everyone wants low-wage workers to have higher incomes and more opportunities. That’s why we already have over ninety welfare programs, and all were created with good intentions but are in desperate need of reforms in order to remove red tape and help recipients get appropriate educations and work. Countries like Greece and have unemployment rates that are much higher than the USA’s. This means that too many taxpayers of their populations are ing the rest! But recently, the French voted in Macron and ditched the

socialists. But now the masses are still unhappy because the mess can’t be cleaned up fast enough! The truth is, the consequences of worldwide distrust coupled with paranoia have become our inheritance because of socialist zealots. But the one defining trait of democracy is freedom! Freedom to choose our own direction and our own future without the interference of certain politicians and their media allies who are hellbent on controlling the minds of the masses. They plant political seeds that will not bear the fruits of labor that only individual and team efforts can! America is still one of the most productive nations on the planet, and this is also your inheritance! And it didn’t come from socialism! Socrates debated this issue over two thousand years ago and was the first to outline socialism. However, he also outlined the weaknesses of it through Plato. Some said, “He was the corruptor of youth drunk with debate.” Sound familiar? Democracy traditionally organizes itself around freedom or our inalienable rights. Socialism acts through mandates or forced compliance. The American people should never be manipulated into becoming submissive, especially if the strategy is to enforce ideology by enacting laws or using the Department of Justice or the Internal Revenue Service! Their job is to manage taxation, not enforce laws that have nothing to do with our national budget. The climate seems to be a political hot potato, but many of those expressing outrage, including world-famous Hollywood actors and businessmen, typically fly around the world in private jets that expel mind-boggling amounts of carbon dioxide—the exact substance that climate alarmists say is the cause of a failing climate. Other indicators of politics gone wrong is Kamala Harris’s $100-billion plan for black home ownership. But this is child’s play compared to everything else the Democrats have either proposed or endorsed. Consider the ten-year cost estimates for some of the major plans that many 2020 nominees have already embraced: Medicare for All, otherwise known as socialized medicine, is $32.6 trillion. The Great New Deal, also known as coercive environmental socialism, is $93 trillion.

Universal basic income, in which people would become paid wards of the state, is $38 trillion. Slavery reparations would cost $14 trillion, but once that becomes law, how would they actually decide who would get money and why? As for the erasure of college debt and free college, those would cost about $2.4 trillion in the first decade, which is a staggering figure. All those plans would cost $180 trillion in the first ten years. Where in the name of sanity is this money going to come from? Taxpayers, of course! Can we afford it? No!

Chapter 6

Capitalism

Capitalism is based on private ownership and the means of production and individual economic freedom. Most of the means of production, such as factories and businesses, are owned by private enterprises and not by the government. Private owners make decisions about what and when to produce and how much products should cost. Capitalism doesn’t encourage greed; however, there are greedy, self-serving types who rise to the top of some organizations. This seems to be the major concern of many Americans who now protest against our system. But replacing a working model or allowing a socialist model to be introduced would be ludicrous because that has been tried with substantial failures across history. The leading concerns for capitalism seem to be greed and inflation. Yet these byproducts are also elements of socialism. As a matter of fact, most of the socialist countries eventually succumbed to bouts of inflation that spiraled out of control and devalued their GNP or gross national product. This, of course, made them noncompetitive on the world market. As for greed, chapter 8 (“The History of Socialism”) will expose the records of selfishness of those who took power over some countries under the banner of a better economy and shared wealth. In the meantime, while the covetous one’s desires are chained to greed, a childish facet of personality—a false belief in affluence—must eventually be put aside. They will be emancipated from their fantasy, as will the wild-eyed revolutionary who conceals their own desire for power. I agree with my children and applaud you for your stand on environmental problems. But these concerns will not be fixed by the stroke of any political or legislative pen! The truth is, a nation’s citizens must become involved with the engine of their nation’s economy in order to initiate change. Every time I go to a store, I witness the horrid reality of environmental pollution as I watch people

rip plastic bags from a bundle of hundreds! This equates to millions a day across America, and until we all bring our own shopping bags, nothing will change. The same is true for disposable plastic cups, plates, forks, and spoons or other food containers. We are a fast-food, fast-service nation, so unless the masses get involved, nothing will change. Our appetites become satisfied by the habits we develop, and plastics are now an integral part of those habits. This is a problem that needs to be solved at the grassroots level of society. Littering is included in this drama as it is part of the plastic epidemic. The beginning of any rational change will probably have to happen at our elementary schools—where children can learn about the problem and then teach the adults in their lives how not to litter or use products that are unhealthy, inefficient, or polluting. Without commerce, the engine of progress or improvement would cease or retard. So, instead of resisting progress, a majority of the people must form a covenant with industry and then press against industry hard enough to communicate that plastics are out of style, dangerous, and must be curtailed! If this does not happen, nothing will change. And small bands of wayward radicals engaging in reckless and noisy rallies will not bring about change. Now some of you are probably thinking, That’s why we elect politicians! Well, if they were really going to bring about change, why has it not occurred? And don’t try to tell me that it’s a Trump issue. Eight years of the Democrats didn’t bring about the needed change either! There were just as many plastic products in the country. Capital is the accumulation of financial assets and investments and monetary resources that are gained through hard work, smart spending, and investing. Our economy is a combination of businesses across America being successful and helping others (employees) be successful at their chosen professions. Everyone contributes to collective necessities through tax contributions. That’s where the pot at the end of the rainbow comes from! Not a humanistic theory on brotherhood. And no matter how much we would all like to see more equality in our country, it won’t arrive on the eve of a socialist or a negativity merchant taking power in any community or our great nation. That is a step backward! As for humanistic needs, they are separate and can easily be realized through other means. One is a healthier and more humane way called education. This is

not necessarily the kind of education that people receive only in public schools. When I worked in mental health, I was always astounded at how resilient people are when they are given a new perspective on an old idea, especially an old problem. I watched people have epiphanies when they realized that they could readjust themselves, their thinking patterns, and their lives. Once they understood that, they were suddenly capable of so much more. And believe me, we are all capable of much more than we realize. We just need the momentum of insight to propel us forward. When a truth is revealed—when the unknown becomes the known—it is a genuine morale builder. It develops authentic self-confidence. This is how we justly assist our fellow man! This also happens when one realizes that someone else’s misinformed truth was not of genuine value. But in itting this, a mental vacuum is made that may create more unknowing. And this dichotomy is that which penetrates mental defenses and can keep us from further investigation, even into political misconduct. Objectivity and helping others come to their own conclusions are the types of constructive assistance that those in need deserve. There are those who would and do generalize and globalize problems. In other words, they inflate a setback so as to have you believe that it is much more grievous than it really is. Some media characters have honed this technique over the years, and now some political candidates find it an enticing way to make promises that will most likely be forgotten after the elections. What amazes me is that modern-day socialists and even some politicians can’t recognize the positive influences of capitalism. If we look at the entertainment industry, we see shows such as Shark Tank, America’s Got Talent, The Voice, Little Big Shots, and Master Chef, which are focused on recognizing individual or team efforts and talents. These are just a few examples of how people can become successful and even wealthy through hard work and determination. In socialism, recognizing a person’s unique talents is a no-no. These shows reward individuals and teams for hard work and entrepreneurship. They reward a person for their own unique set of talents. These participants are the directors of their own plays! And these shows allow people and children from all walks of life to put their skills on parade, and not a hollow parade either! Now that’s the American way!

Capitalism is a more practical system in that it is more responsive to commercial trends and is capable of readjusting when necessary. Capitalism has managed to overcome previous crises whereas socialism, being a rigid doctrine, has proved to be inflexible and incapable of reacting to changes during economic or political shifts. Because socialism eradicates work ethics or any sense of accomplishment, it has not survived long enough to realize its intended objectives. During Russia’s failed experiment with communism, one of the effects was that individuals were denied self-reliance. Initiative was treated as a crime; consequently, mass dependency ensued. The backbone of this nation, however, has been made up of hard work, initiative, education, and determination coupled with freedom and opportunity. These traits are the opposite of oppression brought on by fear or politically imposed idleness or an exaggerated sense of entitlement. Those who are enthusiastic and take initiative can become highly successful. But underachievers are more likely to fail and therefore more willing to succumb to fear—the hissing snake of socialism. If socialism was the current system in America and offered an energetic, motivated individual a stipend to be idle and not achieve their full human potential, that person would not accept. But the underachiever would latch on to such an opportunity to do less and earn less. These are the real victims of socialism! Because they do not believe in themselves! They do not realize their own human potential or intellect or abilities. But I will explain this in detail later in the book. Suffice it to say that self-motivation is critical to success, and there is a big difference between internal motivation and external motivation. Too many young people in this country don’t know the difference! Socialism and communism are alike in that both are systems of production based on public ownership of the processes of production. This idea has been a miserable failure throughout history because individuals do not have a sense of investment, so why would they bother? But for all its difficulties, capitalism has helped usher in one of the world’s highest standards of living. And yet, it has not been able to overcome one issue that many do not want to talk about—overdependence. Not only do some children remain dependent on their parents into adulthood, but entire poverty areas are dependent on the government and do not have the tools to gain independence or a better, more productive, and more fulfilling life!

In our early stages of life, we celebrate independence or maturity when we reach certain milestones—ages like eighteen or twenty-one. The people around us assume that we have become more independent or self-reliant. This is based solely on tradition and not obvious fact. Some youngsters and even supposed adults continue to display dependency and adolescent attitudes and behaviors even after they reach what we call adulthood. Some have learned to cling to a meaningless existence. They clamor and manipulate their way through life because they were not taught that they too have talents and abilities that could give them a much better life. The Bill of Rights apply to them as well, but with these rights come responsibilities. As a result, our government has developed programs and individuals and organizations have funded efforts to assist those in need. Using data from the Foundation Center, we can see a sample of 2,740 private and independent foundations and 230 community foundations with total annual giving of $1,000,000 or more. Approximately 12 percent of these large private foundations expressed an interest in funding both social services and religiously d organizations. The report continues by examining the grants issued by the 50 largest “faith-friendly” foundations. The analysis was based on a composite year consisting of data from 1999 and 2000, the latest years for which full grant data were available. Some $68.8 million were provided by these private foundations to faith-based social services. This represents nearly 3 percent of the approximately $2.5 billion of annual philanthropic giving that is distributed by these 50 foundations. Each foundation made an average of 17 grants to faith-based providers during the year, the average award totaling $75,462. Additional analyses classified grants according to the social-service areas that were ed. Charitable contributions in America were as follows (this does not include government programs): In 2016, charitable donations were $373 billion. In 2015, $373.25 billion. In 2014, $258.51 billion. In the 2016 fiscal year, the federal government spent $3.9 trillion, which amounted to 21 percent of the nation’s gross domestic product, on social programs. Of that $3.9 trillion, over $3.3 trillion was financed by federal revenues. The remaining amount was financed by borrowing. These numbers are insane! The truth is, the people in need in the USA are much more likely to be assisted

than those in socialist/communist countries. The funds are available because of capitalism! So, why are some people still living in poverty? And why, after such a magnificent show of generosity, are socialists now saying that Americans don’t do enough? State governments, along with other charities, pay out billions more every year, but still we see ongoing poverty in some areas! The funds are there! Why aren’t more people getting out of poverty! Read further and I’ll explain. This is why the media generally provides you with an array of talking parrots. So, too do most talk shows. They have their memorized agendas; either they hate the president, or they love him. They deliver the same limited and symbolic opinions over and over but occasionally include murders, auto accidents, and other “newsworthy” events. But the parrots seldom present researched, unbiased information; instead, they mimic their disturbing and weepy agendas while using the term “reliable source.” The difference, of course, is that parrots are cute and funny while some politicians, entertainers, and media mimes are embarrassments to their professions. I personally would like to see elementary school kids report the news. Since they would be honest and curious, they would be a refreshing and humorous change! Can you imagine an unbiased but inquiring take on current events?

Chapter 7

Socialism

Socialism grows directly out of capitalism but only when certain political factions see fit to separate themselves from reality. “From each according to his ability, to each according to his deeds [socialism]. From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs [communism].” Socialism is actually not a political structure or formula, although it is sometimes used as a political strategy. If it was accurately categorized, it would be a religion. It speaks of good will, like Christianity, but is a creed nonetheless and has had no success thus far in creating governmental improvements or momentum in any practical way. In some countries, it has been used to overthrow existing governments; however, it then became an inefficient istration that was often dominated by despotic rulers! Venezuela is a current example. While a capitalist may want a monopoly on a certain industry, a socialist wants a monopoly on young minds. This is how socialism begins. Cartel is synonymous with monopoly, so gangsters, criminals, and self-seeking or greedy people want a monopoly on geographic areas in order to sell ill-gotten gains, drugs, and even weapons to those who would do harm in order to satisfy their own pathetically misguided desires or what they believe to be their entitlement. Correcting this is, of course, the purview of our legal system and even our educational system; however, if parents and communities aren’t prepared to build the foundation for learning, criminals will continue their illicit, immoral activities. Some socialists and politicians call themselves progressive. In order for one to progress, one must first create improvement! Socialism has yet to produce any

sustainable increase in commerce in any country. I’ll explain that in chapter 8. Socialism and its child, communism, have a distinctive similarity to ancient Roman and Greek states in that they are stark examples of how a force that can build an empire can also bring about its subsequent destruction. The Soviet Union, which is now the solitary Russia, was another example. Recently, some political figures, along with some media outlets and some Hollowood characters, have been trying to influence the voting system with the promise of radical change in the economy and in the Constitution. They promise to bring about balance in wages and enhance an already-bloated welfare system. Both ideas have failed in the past. What they propose is that they can somehow influence worker salaries and do it without adverse consequences. Therefore, it merely becomes a propaganda maneuver to promote an idealized society, not a functioning, realistic one. In most cases, socialism was revolutionized and became communism or, worse, social Darwinism. Adolf Hitler attempted this application before and during the Second World War. Such services, however, were turned into Hitler’s prison camps because of his scorn for Jews. In Russia, Jews were scorned but not slaughtered. To be objective, I read Bernie Sanders’s book and was immediately put off by its title, Our Revolution. It resonates a lot like compulsory change—whether the masses want it or not. Revolution comes from the word revolt, which all communist regimes have utilized. The first six chapters were basically about Bernie and his campaigns, not his plan, which I couldn’t find anywhere in the book. His answer to those in need was simply to raise the minimum wage, which, historically, has been met with more inflation and job loss. It also put a lot of small businesses out of business because their profit margins were too small to accommodate such a change. One of his chapters, “Real Criminal Justice Reform,” calls for police reforms, but again, it has no in-depth plan. If I was seeking political office, especially if I was a socialist, I would think to include a detailed plan for efficient, long-term progress. What formula is being used? Why not “Problem, Goal, and Objective”? The objective part is especially required because that spells out what exactly is going to get done and by whom and when. He spoke around the issue of activity-based costing and again didn’t include any details on how much his plans would cost.

Earlier in the book, I outlined the correlation between initiative and success. This is the key to rising to the heights of personal satisfaction but is a missing link in most political propositions. His section on mental health also left me wondering what exactly we should do about it. It did not indicate how we should utilize the existing services either. And he doesn’t seem to have researched the subject. Comparing the USA to third-world countries is dangerous and misleading as we have a totally different definition of mental health! We also have manuals. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is one of them, and it is extremely comprehensive but excludes other cultural indicators. We are way ahead of third-world countries in this regard! His last chapter, “Corporate Media and the Threat to Democracy,” was one I agreed with and enjoyed reading. Bernie also repeats the old party line of socialism: “Tax the rich.” This socialist ideal or only goal aims to levy fines on those who work hard. These fines come in the form of taxes, but who decides how we are going to “tax the rich”? Where do we begin? How about a million dollars? Let’s say we overtax all millionaires. So, how many millionaires are there in this country? How much revenue would that actually generate? And for how long? What percentage of our population is actually worth a million bucks? Where does this logic come from? Well, the human ego, of course. And what part of an ego creates such an idea? A parent, an adult, or a child? Most people have fantasies about being a millionaire, and this idea usually begins to bloom during childhood. But picture a child who watches a neighbor kid mowing lawns, washing cars, and making money. The observer goes to the kid who’s being an entrepreneur and says, “I noticed that you are getting a lot of money from people. I want half of it!” Ridiculous, right? And if the socialist kid tries to take it, he’s a bully! Well, that’s what socialists are! They are either beggars or bullies. These people feel like they can take what isn’t theirs. This loony idea has been tried for years and hasn’t worked! What it did was inhibit entire economies for years because people lost the desire to use their potential to achieve, to go the extra mile, to invent, and to plan and set goals. The United States gained 700,000 millionaire households in 2017, according to a report from the Spectrem Group. The United States now has close to 11 million millionaires, up 6 percent from 2016, according to data from the Spectrem Group’s Market Insights (2018). The entire population of the USA is almost 326 million. That means that 11 million of the population would be overtaxed merely

to make a political statement. Overtaxing 11 million people isn’t going to generate enough revenue to benefit the unemployed or underemployed in the long term. “What about billionaires?” you ask. Well, there are about 540 of them in the USA, but they probably don’t have those billions in cash. Their money is in investments and businesses that pay out salaries and taxes, and these are also some of the people who already pay large quantities toward social-service charities and other endowments. And these are the entrepreneurs who create businesses that create jobs! This is what capitalism does. It creates jobs and opportunities. It is up to each of us individually to capitalize on those opportunities. If a job doesn’t pay enough, then we use it as a platform to sustain ourselves as we head for bigger and better opportunities by qualifying ourselves for new careers or promotions. If you are flipping hamburgers and don’t like it, especially the salary that you are paid for it, rethink your choice, go to a local community college, and research new career options. This is the true path to success. If you can’t afford it, then go to one of our nation’s financial-assistance programs and get help. America provides unemployment assistance; many other nations do not. I do not intend to protect billionaires, but I must say here that we all choose our futures directly or indirectly. I chose to be a US Marine and retired after twenty years of service. Following that goal, I worked in mental health for fifteen years and as an adjunct professor at universities. These were my choices. I wasn’t thinking about getting rich; I was doing what I wanted to do. So, I can’t very well go to the rich now and say “I want some of your money!” Most people I know are doing what they want or choose to do for a living. So, if we want more money, it’s up to us to find a way to get it without stealing it from someone who worked for it. And how many people in the USA are actually living in poverty? Since 2014, the poverty rate has fallen 2.1 percentage points—from 14.8 percent to 12.7 percent. In 2016, there were 40.6 million people living in poverty, 2.5 million fewer than in 2015 and 6.0 million fewer than in 2014. The Medicare for All plan that is proposed by some Democrats and endorsed by a host of Democratic congressional and presidential hopefuls would increase the government’s health-care spending by $32.6 trillion over 10 years, according to

a new study. Does anyone have any idea how much our taxes would have to be raised in order to pay $32.6 trillion dollars? I have seen the media coverage of other politicians as well. I applaud their spirit; however, their slogans are those of a misinformed youngster who has yet to do their homework! The Green New Deal would cost a reported $93 trillion, which equates to $600 thousand per household. Will people actually work to help achieve these senseless goals that some have outlined? Will other powerful political figures embrace their socialism, or will they sabotage the promises as they are resisting, sabotaging, and denigrating the current president? These are the questions that Americans need to be asking now, not after an election. A single guy earning $82,500 a year and currently paying a 24 percent marginal rate would be hit with a 60 percent tax rate. A couple reporting $165,000 in income would also see their margin rate soar from 24 percent to 60 percent. Medicare for All outlaws private insurance. All patients would be underpaying, leaving hospitals with less money. Consequently, some hospitals wouldn’t be able to keep their doors open. Those that do will become like old wards; they will have no privacy and will make patients wait longer for a nurse or doctor. If you have insurance now, you won’t be allowed to keep it. Nationwide, the 156 million people getting coverage through a job would be forced to give it up. Employers and unions would be barred from covering workers or their families. What’s the incentive to work? Socialism has no actual political structure. It is a philosophic, idyllic, humanistic model and is actually a good one except it has always systematically disintegrated after being sold as a political platform or electoral remedy. It is a humane ideal that we could all benefit from because it speaks of equal opportunity. But as a political tenet, it has not been successful, and I’ll prove that in the next chapter. If someone ran for political office and said “I’m a Christian,” we would all probably say “That’s great! But what other qualifications do you have?” But this idea assumes that everyone will realize their talents, use those talents, and begin to meet their needs in healthy, efficient ways and be willing to earn less. Some people don’t even know what they need and confuse personal desires

with needs. “I need transportation, so I need a Mercedes Benz!” No, you want a Mercedes! There’s a big difference. Without a suitable career or the ability to manage a personal budget, some people will want for their entire lives. In some cases, this confusion leads to lawbreaking. This attitude of “If you don’t share, I’ll just take it” is childish! So, why do socialists try to enact policies that suggest the law of the land be broken? Well, they’ll change that too! Socialism changes the mental and spiritual outlooks of a people. It is the professed transition stage between capitalism and communism. Are there no differences between the socialist and communist parties? Socialists believe that it is possible to make the transition from capitalism to socialism by enacting penalties for noncompliance. They hold this view because they believe that democracy is a good working model that can be used by whichever politician takes command of it. So, the transition to socialism can be made step by step within the framework of the democratic construction. It’s worth noting that all these —communism, socialism, fascism, and Marxism—describe ideologies that ascribe central importance to some notion of collective good. They all begin by rejecting the notion that man is an individual and the government ought to protect individual rights. America already does that. The simplest definition of socialism that I could find comes from Brett Stephens, who pointed out to his children that they all worked very hard to achieve the grade of A on their tests. However, the student next to them may not have worked as hard or may have goofed off or just didn’t care and received a failing grade. But under socialism, the school istration could reduce their hardearned A to a C in order to lift the failing student’s F to a C. So, why would they want to bother with working hard any longer? Achievement and success can’t be given as gifts! They require one’s involvement through the use of initiative, planning, and effort or labor. The role of individuality in a free society is paramount to success—not only for individuals but for the population as a whole. The gift of independence and the gift of innate potential are givens in a free society, but under socialist rule, they are overlooked in favor of stifling individual achievement by penalizing those who work hard. And believe me when I tell you that everybody has intellectual

potential! Some education systems do not always do a good job of respecting individual differences and finding out who’s suited for what type of career preparation. Socialism, then, is a collective cancer whereby an unproductive, fearful segment of a population feeds off of the functioning portion; they are similar to the cells of a body that is diseased. It’s basically cannibalism and can only last for a short time. Why do you think so many immigrants want to come to this country? Not because it’s socialist! Because the opportunities for jobs and a higher standard of living are available. Hordes of people are evacuating Venezuela because it is a socialist country where starvation and crime are rampant and jobs are unavailable! I think the old Russian saying goes like this: “No man is equal to his rhetoric.” It refers to socialist propaganda, which never really delivers its promises. And equality is not socialism! I believe in equality and in our Constitution, but that means that we are all entitled to find our rightful places in this society and yet be willing to take the initiative to contribute, not sit on our asses and complain! Children avoid and or retreat from issues that are confusing unless or until an adult educates them on those things they haven’t learned yet. Our education system was intended to be objective. It is supposed to teach new ideas without political biases. Learning new ideas means reforming old ones or developing current ones, not rioting or quelling opposing ideas. If a teacher is a socialist and instigates students to become agitators and does not objectively educate kids, we have a serious problem in this country. The young radicals yell, scream, wear masks, defy sanity, follow an unproven line of thought, regarding the reality of commerce. After having over taxed the rich long term they would have no incentive to keep commerce in motion and therefore create jobs and more prosperity for everyone. Taxing the rich sounds enticing but, would only reimburse the needy for a while. I believe a lot of people want a larger salary merely because they want compensation for having to return to “the daily grind” rather than return to a fulfilling job that they love. If people were paired with a career that matched their uniqueness and talents there would be more commitment and therefore more satisfaction. If you are unsatisfied with a low salary job, see it as an

opportunity to have an income while developing a strategy for a more promising career. Fanatics are irritating; however, they can serve as examples of just how childish some people really are even though they parade in adult bodies. This is the opposite of patience, thoughtfulness, unselfishness, objectivity, and being knowledgeable on a subject. The answers are in the details, and so too are the answers in the outcomes. If anyone is going to be successful, they will find their success in the details. When I worked in mental health, there was one sure method for success: Identify the underlying (real) problem, set a goal or series of goals, and then develop a plan while paying attention to the details. Work consistently toward that goal or goals. Look at what works. Don’t return to the old way of thinking and the behaviors that are rusted in rhetoric. If someone does not have a personal formula for success, then that person will have no success. True socialists are like insects. Take flies, for example. They do not respect personal boundaries. Insects or people with poor boundaries don’t know where they end and others begin. They don’t mind aggravating other people or buzzing around while trying to steal from a picnic. They have poor boundaries. Our physical boundary is our skin. It lets us know when we are in with someone or something else and lets us know when things aren’t right or a situation is dangerous. Chicken skin is an example of how we are alerted to danger even before we are touched physically. Our social boundary or comfort zone allows us the right to live in a community with a sense of security and acceptance. Emotional boundaries allow us to know when we are being offended. They alert us to intrusions against our sense of self. Without them, we would go through life while allowing others to disrespect us, which makes us develop a lowered sense of self-esteem. Our psychological boundaries alert us to messages that conflict with what we know to be right. They also alert us to conflicting statements about who we are and how we imagine ourselves to be in relation to others. These boundaries include concealed barriers and filters that can become too

rigid, thus interfering with communications and appropriate behaviors. The intellectual self and the social self can be altered when these boundaries are invaded. When we violate boundaries or allow others to violate ours, the result is a defensive response. If this habit is carried into adulthood, the result is the overuse of emotional reactions, which leads to naiveté or manipulation or isolation. Anytime a personal boundary is violated physically, emotionally, or verbally, no one benefits! The same holds true for our comfort zone. Our intuitions usually alert us to intrusions unless we were bred in an environment that did not assist us in establishing healthy, effective boundaries. We see a lack of healthy boundaries in children; however, good parenting can be employed to help them establish functioning boundaries. When parenting fails or children are subject to parents with unhealthy agendas, children bring the related insecurities into adulthood. One of the unfortunate aspects of this dilemma is that certain children feel powerless as a result of this dynamic, and that frustration becomes anger. Many don’t know healthy ways to exhale that anger, and it comes out sideways (displacement). Socialism is a collective of people with poor boundaries, and if its weakness and failures are not recognized, it will create more disarray and reactionary misfortune, not creativity. So, why do some politicians use fear-based tactics to influence voters? The people of this great nation have a history of defying those who would use fear tactics to control the morale, integrity, pride, and competence of the American people! “United we stand, divided we fall,” but some politicians still try to divide us! All communist takeovers were initiated by similar instigators. The tactics used by political activists who tried to incite the poor and weary to action backfired, so the instigators turned to violence. But those rebels, just like the current Middle Eastern insurgents, have no leadership experience or any of the management skills needed for the actual running of a government. Instigators are good at inciting but totally unprepared at governing, especially managing commerce and an unbiased legal system. After the fall, all they had was chaos, so in order to compensate for their incompetence, they murdered anyone who opposed their takeover and used propaganda to appease the masses and scare tactics to keep the people in line—

the party line. These kids who are rioting are a great example. Put them in charge of something important and see how long they will be effective! They are children loitering in the false belief that they actually know all the facts. Teens are generally lacking in the kind of experience necessary to organize the style of command and competence needed to run a government. Socialists who wormed their way into faculty positions are now infecting those young minds. Their loyalty is to their cause, not to any higher good! And over time, they will surely fail because they lack the wisdom that comes with experience. Insurrection is never a healthy or efficient means for managing anything, especially a government. That’s why our Constitution doesn’t include socialist or communist doctrines; it includes opportunity coupled with hard work, which leads to success! “Every communist must grasp the truth. Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun” (Mao Tse-tung). There was a reason for his antagonism! Without violence, communism has never been embraced by nations. In a free society, people go to jail for using guns to incite insurrections, but they don’t always go to jail for inciting someone else to use force against authority or against a political opponent. Politicians who sell socialism are like used-car salesmen trying to convince you that the piece of junk they’re selling still has a lot of miles left in it. You see, they are spinning a fairy tale, not a truth! The real truth is that there must be a companionship between men, as well as men and nature, if anything is going to work and become successful. Nowhere in this equation is there room for communism/socialism. But many socialists continue to believe that workingclass people just don’t get it. Marx or Lenin would say, “They [the people] therefore require leading into correct political activity by a vanguard party.” In other words, we—all of us living our lives without socialist meddling—really need their arrogant fatherhood! Psychological maturity, according to most people, is the ability to think in of principles, not emotions. People lose sight of the bigger picture, the higher good, when they regress and start using childish reactions. Kids have to learn that their bad feelings simply indicate that they are thinking negative thoughts and believing them. “Your emotions follow your thoughts just as surely as baby

ducks follow their mother. But the fact that the baby ducks follow faithfully along doesn’t prove that the mother knows where she is going” (Kindhart). In order for a society to be successful, individuals, or at least the vast majority of individuals, must work toward achievement according to their unique talents. So, what is the answer to this global and national problem that has existed for thousands of years? The raising of taxes? When policrats raise taxes, they minimize the incentives of businesses and employees. According to the 2017 financial report of the government, the government’s net loss more than doubled, increasing $533.2 billion (103.7 percent) during the 2016 fiscal year to $1.0 trillion. It’s extraordinary that they lost $533 billion in 2015, let alone a full trillion in 2016. The sad reality is that it now costs the government so much to run itself, along with paying massive interest payments on the debt and ing all its entitlement obligations, that they lose $1 trillion even in a normal year. So, who’s helping whom? If you or I kept bank s like that, we would be locked up! And some state budgets are likewise in incompetent hands. Nine Democrat-controlled states have earned F grades (Financial State of the States [2018]). The worst of the worst include New Jersey, Connecticut, and Illinois. The study found that 40 states do not have enough money to pay all their bills, and in total, the states have racked up over $1.5 trillion dollars in unfunded state debt. Venezuela is now the world’s most indebted country, and it is a socialist nightmare. Income poverty increased from 48 percent in 2014 to 82 percent in 2016, according to a survey conducted by Venezuela’s three most prestigious universities. The same study found that 74 percent of Venezuelans involuntarily lost an average of 8.6 kilos (19 pounds) in weight. The Venezuelan Health Observatory reports a tenfold increase in inpatient mortality and a hundredfold increase in newborn mortality in 2016. But President Nicolás Maduro’s government still repeatedly turns down offers of humanitarian assistance. The

Maduro government’s all-out attack on liberty and democracy is deservedly attracting greater international attention. The Organization of American States and the European Union have issued scathing reports, and the USA recently announced new sanctions. But Venezuela’s problems are not just political. Addressing the unprecedented economic catastrophe that the government has caused will also require the of the international community. Recently, people have been swarming across their borders in order to get to a neighboring country that has food! If socialism has been successful in California, why is their crisis getting worse? And the city of Chicago, Illinois, is another example of the failure of so-called socialists. Illinois is broke, but the state’s financial woes aren’t decreasing. Recently, ten Republicans voted with Democrats to override Governor Bruce Rauner’s veto of a permanent 32-percent income-tax hike. Without reforms, the tax hike will only feed a culture of waste and abuse. Now here is a novel idea: Rather than tearing things down and being destructive and rebuilding our system with something that has proven to be ineffective, inefficient, and downright dangerous, try being constructive. Free enterprise creates capital, not government. There is a difference! History is filled with blunders that were made by government interventions in free markets. When you stifle someone’s independence, you stifle their will, their essence, their personality, and their desire to achieve. It stifles creativity. Far too many people in this country have forgotten the pleasure of a hard day’s work. Socialism is a hollow parade with hollow promises, and it stands against democracy. The most famous Democrat was John F. Kennedy, and he said, “My fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world; ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.” Why have some politicos now turned toward a tattered socialist parade in order to garner votes? Do they not know that they are denying Americans opportunity? Has socialism in Europe really worked? Greece now has a large amount of debt because of its years of living beyond its

means. Public spending soared in the past decade, and public-sector wages doubled during the period. However, while the government increased its spending, tax income was also hit because of widespread tax evasion. Unemployment—youth unemployment, in particular—is one of the biggest struggles of Greece. In 2016, 47.3 percent of the Greek population aged below 25 was out of work. That’s nearly half of the population, and it is more than two times the average rate across the Euro zone. ’s economic freedom score is 63.9, making its economy the seventy-first freest in the 2018 index. Its overall score has increased by 0.6 because the improvements in their scores for investment freedom, fiscal health, and business freedom outweighed the declines of their scores for government integrity and property rights. is ranked thirty-fourth among forty-four countries in Europe, and its overall score is below the regional average but above the world average. ’s main policy challenges aim to lower the stubbornly high rate of unemployment, increase competitiveness, boost economic growth, and improve public finances. Government spending s for more than half of the total domestic output. The budget has been consistently in deficit and will have to be cut. The top individual income-tax rate is 45 percent, and the top corporate tax rate is 34.3 percent. The other taxes include a value-added tax. The overall tax burden equals 45.5 percent of the total domestic income. Finally, the real difference between socialism and communism is this: socialism becomes communism when its failures become so obvious that its grip on a nation must be enforced. Communism, then, is imposed socialism. Some European countries are now facing the challenges that occur when a country experiments with socialism. I am not suggesting that we should eliminate the current social-service programs. I am suggesting that we oversee these programs to ensure that they are effective and efficient. Here is an example of this: I once worked for a US grant-funded program that was to assist single mothers to matriculate. After about three months, one of the ladies felt sorry for me and took me aside to educate me. She itted that most of the women would not really keep up with the program

because their endowments were over $3,000 a month and they “won’t find a job that will pay that much.” I wrote quarterly reports to Washington, DC, and described the findings in one of the reports. I never received an answer, and after finally finding the right bureau and phoning someone, I was told that reports like mine are filed away somewhere and usually aren’t even read! These women were forbidden to have live-in, employed males residing with them for obvious reasons. Many did anyway, which raised their compensation way beyond the usual amount of working-class families. We need outcome measures for these programs and enforcement so that people are assisted in ways that help them progress through these curricula and not merely go through the motions!

Chapter 8

A History of Socialism

A history of socialism will tell us the truth about its failures. Reflecting on the mistakes of humanity is necessary in order to make sense of what unfolded across history and realize that the consequences of too many poor political decisions were very detrimental. The idea of socialism can be traced to the writings of Plato (427–347 BC), specifically The Republic. Speaking through Socrates, Plato mused that the root of discord and wars came from the idea of personal belongings. But Aristotle questioned whether a utopia created by socialism would actually bring about peace because people who share t ownership quarrel more than those who enjoy private ownership. Anyone who has brothers or sisters knows this routine! He went on to say that it is not the possessions or ownership that creates problems but the desire of others to have similar possessions that brings about conflicts and crime. Keep in mind that this was written over two thousand years ago. Today, the divide between the haves and the have-nots continues to be an obvious dilemma, but socialism will never cure desire or jealousy. Some believe that Pericles, who died in 429 BC, was the father of socialism; however, he was actually the father of democracy, which is very different. Socialism has been tried in the USA. It was used in places that were known as communes. One of them was the Virginia Company in Jamestown (1607). Another was New Harmony of Indiana, which was founded in 1825 by the British philanthropist Robert Owen. All those attempts broke down sooner or later because of their inability to solve the problem of “free riders,” who drew a full share of the community harvest while doing little, if any, work. People who aren’t personally invested in something tend to be detached and favor more personal interests.

There have been many other communes/cults throughout American history, but I know of none that were successful. Commune is from commune-ism. A doctor, artist, or engineer does not a farmer make. I’ll discuss this later in the book. Another disaster architect was Jim Jones, who was a true song-and-dance man. Jones used his charisma to persuade over a thousand people to go to Guyana, where he started Jonestown. A cult that saw itself as a religious/socialist sect and under his tutelage, close to a thousand of them drank arsenic-laced Kool-Aid and died. In 1848, Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels attempted to popularize socialism due to the inequalities in commerce. Until the publication of The Communist Manifesto, much of the Western world followed a course where individuals owned private property. Business enterprises and the profits that resulted from wise investments were somewhat insulated, causing workers to become frustrated. Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels pointed out the uneven distribution of wealth in the capitalist world and predicted a worldwide popular uprising that would distribute wealth evenly. Since then, some nations have wrestled with which political direction to turn their economies. During all the upheavals that occurred in Europe, Marx and Engels urged a revolution by working-class men against what they called the ruling class. The industrial age was one of greed for many European and American industrialists, as well as Russian tsars. This set the stage for revolutions and the unfolding of communism across the globe for many years to come, thus creating a system whereby millions were condemned to a political structure that kept them in poverty until the 1980s. Today some citizens are up in arms because of a continuing state of poverty or imbalances in pay. Socialism doesn’t solve this problem; it merely redistributes the poverty and gives the appearance of shared wealth. What is actually stirring behind the scenes of a really big Hollowood play is an unfortunate yet historic drama that has enslaved millions of people for years! Instead of giving the supposed needy a hand-up, some politicians have been giving them a handout! They have not assisted the uneducated or disadvantaged; they have hushed them. But who really creates uneven wealth? Well, just about everyone! Look at it this way: While many Americans literally throw money at athletes, entertainers, and even strippers, many occupations—important ones like scientists, educators, and

food-service workers—are overlooked. Our politicians aren’t really paid all that much, so in order to compensate, some of their egos tell them to use their positions to make up the difference. Socialism will not alter the appetites of a population or politician. In 1903, Lenin went to the Democratic Congress of Russia with the idea of separating the party and fomenting revolutionary activity. The party was organized on a military model with a strict chain of command, and Lenin instituted the term Bolshevik for his party. Mussolini of Italy and Hitler of did similar things. Lenin spent virtually the entire period from 1900 to 1917 abroad. In , Austria, Italy, and Switzerland, he worked to divide certain parties as he had split the Russian Social Democratic Labor Party, but he had little success. Lenin’s lust for power in Russia came at a cost. None of the leading Bolsheviks had any experience in public istration, but still they assumed the responsibility for the entire country. They totally lacked industry experience, so they established a state-owned system that ruled—not led—the world’s fifth largest economy. Of course, it was destined to fail, so they had no alternative but to become a dictatorship in order to stay in power. They could not afford to relax their authority. Bad parents! This edict held true in all the communist regimes that followed. As it turned out, the Bolsheviks would stay in power for seventy-four years. Socialism, the result of the revolution, was imposed on Russia; it was imposed on its people by a small minority that was belching out socialist slogans. The living standard of the Russians fell, and between 1932 and 1939, the population of the Soviet Union decreased by nine to ten million people. The best film on this tragedy is Doctor Zhivago. It reveals how the unrest in Russia at the end of her defeat in the First World War sparked a revolution. The tsar abdicated, but he was still murdered with his family. The Bolsheviks were only a minority, but Lenin and Trotsky became dictators who were far worse than the tsar they overthrew. In 1919, the Bolsheviks in Russia broke away from the European socialist movement, changed their name to the Russian Communist Party, and established their version of socialism with the goal of spreading revolution worldwide. Within this upheaval, there were differing groups who fought over separate ideas, and this fight ended in a war that killed millions of Russians! Famine had

become widespread. The productivity of the industrial and agricultural sectors diminished drastically. The entire nation of Russia suffered for years! From 1919 to 1959, it is estimated that the number of Soviet deaths totaled up to sixty million. In China, it is estimated at a hundred million. This information has been repressed by or underestimated by historians, or they have simply not taken interest in the staggering results of socialism/communism. The utopian vision of a perfect society always failed once it was attempted. Those who sold these ideas were naive fanatics who did not understand humanity or logical ways to apply government. All such attempts were eventually abandoned or, worse, overcome by totalitarians and despots who clung to their self-absorbed notions of what the rest of us are supposed to think and do. World War I brought the first economic blow to the European economies and investments in Latin America. The second blow was the Great Depression, which was brought on by the Wall Street Crash of 1929. US financial was cut off, debts were called in, and the world-market prices of Latin America’s primary products plummeted. An epidemic of revolutions produced many dictators whose goal was to cement their control over individual Latin American countries. However, there were no solutions for the crisis, and throughout the 1950s to the 1990s, revolutions were rampant. The more the socialists and communists teased these populations with hollow promises and parades, the more dire their outcomes became. Consequently, many of these countries developed a dependency on North America and failed to stimulate their own economies. became a republic in 1919 after the abdication of Kaiser Wilhelm II and ’s defeat in World War I. The new Constitution of was drawn up by a national assembly, and the first president was a socialist— Friedrich Ebert. When he died in 1925, he was succeeded by Field Marshal Paul von Hindenburg, who had been ’s supreme commander during World War I. During the 1920s, was a breeding ground for extremists; this state of affairs allowed Adolf Hitler’s rise to power. He launched the Second World War with his ally, Mussolini of Italy, another proclaimed socialist. By the end of that war, over fifty million were dead, and millions more wounded and displaced.

In 1921, the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) ed communism and called itself a “militant central bureau in the labor movement for legal aid, defense strategy, information, and propaganda. In addition, the ACLU asserted that it worked side by side with the international Workers of the World movement and the Communist Party to be a center of resistance” (Alan Sears and Craig Osten). A militant Baldwin, who was a prophet of the ACLU at the time, not only failed to question the abuses of the communists but also defended the repressive regimes. The ACLU quickly met with resistance to their radical message across America and decided to soften their rhetoric. Many people have reacted strongly across history because of injustice but usually made critical errors as a result of embracing fanaticism. In August 1921, the Russian people were starving to death. More than 18 million were reported to be suffering from a lack of food, and 47,779 cases of cholera had been reported among the hungry. These conditions were acknowledged in an appeal for aid that came from Lenin, the Soviet leader. In November 1921, Mussolini, a long-term socialist radical who led violent attacks against his opponents in Italy, made the news when he denounced the socialist party. He declared a Fascist party—the National Fascist Party—and named himself its duce (leader). It is a movement that glorifies the state and subordinates individuals to state authority. In December 1931, Russia’s food cooperatives and distribution system were not working as Joseph Stalin intended. And the central committee of the communist party had a solution: clear out the bureaucracy and only give food to hard workers. I thought socialism and communism were going to protect and take care of everybody? Oops! In June 1931, the United States received contracts to build ninety Soviet plants. What? I thought the communists and socialists didn’t need the assistance of the biggest capitalist nation on the planet? In 1932, had an economic crisis, and 36 percent of its people were unemployed because of socialism. Hindenburg was reelected, and Hitler was the runner-up. Hitler was the leader of the National Socialist (Nazi) Party, and Hindenburg was forced to appoint him as chancellor.

In 1933, Hitler’s socialism “Nazi authorities arrested so many of his political opponents that the jails were bursting. Fifteen thousand people were arrested in Prussia alone. How about May 1933? Nazis made bonfires with banned books.” Here’s another interesting fact from 1937: Nazis took away children from their parents because they refused to teach them the Nazi ideology. Under the reign of Stalin, the Soviet Union became a harsh dictatorship. His new economic policy used a centrally planned economic system. Industrialization was funded through the confiscation of the peasantry’s properties and was sustained by putting constraints on wages and individual consumption. The idea was to replace hundreds of small, inefficient farms with new massive collectives that would produce a surplus of food and less waste. Collectivization was not as successful as Stalin had hoped, and production levels dropped, leading to widespread famines in which millions died. In 1936, Stalin launched his great purges, which got rid of the supposed enemies of the state. These either resulted in an execution after a show trial or deportation to a gulag, an extremely harsh prison camp. In 1940, the purges were applied to the whole Soviet society. Anybody displaying alleged anti-Soviet tendencies was liable to be deported or executed. Senior officials of the Red Army were purged between 1937 and 1939 so as to forestall any coup attempts. I cannot think of a single communist bureaucrat who was successful in managing a country. None of them were able to empathize with people or appreciate leadership traits and principles. Nor can I think of one who did not eventually become paranoid and sequester himself away from his constituents. In 1937, the Nazis invaded Poland and divided the country with Russia. In 1941, a massive Nazi attack was made on Russia. Apparently, socialists and communists don’t really play well together! Yes, Hitler lied about Poland. He wanted it all for himself and wanted Russia too. He also wanted , England, Italy, and North Africa! Selfish brat, wasn’t he! Children can be extremely greedy when they feel unloved or unappreciated. What’s interesting is that in this country right now, we have some people comparing our president to the Nazis or Fascists, while some colleges are attempting to indoctrinate our youth with one-sided socialist dogma!

History tells us about the failures of socialism, but some people are still led astray because the lessons of the past are put aside or, worse, ignored. And if more people were to check historical facts, they would know that the Spanish Civil War (1936 to 1939) was fought by Fascists against the republican government of Spain. WWII, which began in 1939, was over; it ended with the surrender of Japan in 1945. The human cost was estimated to be around fifty million dead and thirtyfour million wounded. The main cause of the war was the desire of the Axis powers—, Italy, and Japan—for more territory. They wanted lands that didn’t belong to them! Here is something else that is of significance: The May 1944 issue of National Geographic touted an article entitled “Liberated Ukraine.” The Red Army (Soviet Union) had driven the German forces away from this country, but liberated, it was not! For the next forty years, the Ukraine, as well as numerous other Eastern Bloc countries, would be occupied by communist rule, which left them in poverty and afraid of Russia instead of . Some countries conquered by the Germans and Japanese regained their former statuses after the war, but the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) increased its influence in Eastern Europe, and communist regimes were instituted in Poland, Romania, Bulgaria, Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, and the eastern part of , which was a divided country by then. The city of Berlin stayed under the t control of Russia and the USA and was later divided by the Berlin Wall, and the rest of Europe was divided by the Iron Curtain. The Russians were far more suspicious than Americans and Europeans, and that distrust would soon become a political and social reality for much of the world. Unfortunately, many people and their elected officials around the globe wanted to ignore the potential of Russia’s obsessive cynicism, which was brought on by the socialist doctrine, and decided to sanction a United Nations organization so as to discuss social and political differences. Maybe this distinction between socialism and capitalism will help. At the end of the Second World War, artifacts and celebrated historical works of art that were stolen by Hitler’s Nazi army were being recovered by American art experts who were attached to the US Army. A movie about this exploit was produced—The Monuments Men.

Once the Soviet socialists found out about it, they formed the Trophy Brigade, a group that was two thousand men strong, to begin doing the same thing. The difference was that America’s capitalists were returning the stolen artworks to their owners (e.g., , Italy Poland, etc.). The Soviets, however, were shipping their booty back to Russia, claiming the artifacts were compensation for German atrocities. This attitude was akin to gang mentality or juveniles stealing a bike that had already been stolen. How immature (childish) and greedy can some adults be during a crisis? Extremely! Although socialists have been shouting into microphones for years about equality and justice, they have been more likely to be pilferers than other political structures. They also plundered personal property and raped women across Poland, Hungary, and while using the same rationale to justify their criminal behaviors. After Russia overwhelmed Eastern Europe, they held the countries of this region hostage for almost fifty years. Industrialization was funded through the confiscation of the property of the peasants, as it had been in Russia, and sustained by putting constraints on wages and individual consumption. Individual achievement was not acceptable! The idea was to replace hundreds of small farms with collective farms that would produce surplus food and less waste. Widespread famine ensued! Meanwhile, anyone who disagreed was murdered or placed in a gulag (prison). Of course, this engendered a black market that plagued the socialists and communists until the fall of the USSR in the 1980s. After the Second World War, Red Army troops occupied the whole of Eastern Europe. Stalin hoped that when the United States withdrew from Europe, the Soviet Union would become the leading power of the continent. However, the Americans decided to enact a policy of containment of Soviet influence and set about undermining communist parties across Western Europe. The USSR was keen on nurturing the growth of communism, whereas the USA was keen on stimulating markets throughout the world. Poverty and hunger were uncontrollable within the Soviet Union and China. Meanwhile, tensions between democracy (what the communists called capitalism) and socialism began to heighten as the Iron Curtain continued to generate distrust. A line of fences, walls, and dogmatic boundaries divided

Europe. By now, the atomic bomb was a weapon possessed by Russia and America, so the international paranoia made the Americans afraid of a communist insurgency spreading throughout the world or a nuclear war that would create irreversible damage. Fortunately, it never happened, but at the time, vigilance seemed necessary. Also following the Second World War, Americans had become tired of conflict, so the president, Truman, dismantled some of our military capabilities. We were unprepared for another conflict, but the president sent troops to Korea anyway, expecting the communists to back off. They did not! In August 1945, a communist in Vietnam, Ho Chi Minh, seized the opportunity to install himself as president and also seized the military equipment left behind by the Japanese. In 1920, Ho visited the USSR to study revolutionary tactics. But the French occupation forces didn’t yield to Ho, and a new war was brewing. Here is something that also happened in 1945: was divided. After the First World War, was left to decline, and Hitler used that tragedy to rebuild ’s military. Its division aimed to prevent this from happening again. A headline reported that Moscow formed a new regime in Poland. In 1946, Mao declared an all-out war against China’s current government in a national radio broadcast. Communists were using the end of the war to impose their will onto entire nations. From 1947 to 1949, America donated $350 million to starving people in Europe, along with 1.2 million tons of food to . Four hundred million dollars was given to Greece and Turkey to fight communism. Meanwhile, communism was forced on Romania as the USSR forged its hold on Eastern Europe. In June 1948, a Russian blockade of West Berlin was imposed to disrupt the American attempts at rebuilding infrastructure and feeding people. By February, an airlift had fed and fueled 2.5 million people. In December 1949, $522 million was given to , Italy, and Austria, and $18 million was given to China for against hunger and to fight against Ho Chi Minh’s assault on the government. The USA, not the socialists or communists, was donating to and assisting these countries. The Russians meanwhile were donating troops and weapons!

During June 1949, Soviet economists met in Moscow to try to figure out why the United States had not been overcome by the grave economic crisis that Marx predicted would befall all capitalist societies. America remains the envy of the world in both its productive output and socioeconomic success. In 1950, war was unfolding in Korea. Even though America was not prepared, a US intervention was made; this is one of the first crises of the Cold War period. Russian forces occupied North Korea and aided North Korean troops in their invasion of South Korea. By 1953, it was over, but for the first time, the USA had chosen to impose a standoff barrier across another country, Korea, and hold communism at bay rather than sacrifice more American lives or, worse, chance a full-scale war with China! American forces were actually delivering a punishing blow to the North Koreans but came too close to the Chinese border. A million Chinese were sent into the fray, and our troops ran out of ammunition while killing them and were overpowered by the sheer number of the communists. Our forces had to retreat. Now I am confounded by how close our nation was to becoming infected by socialism, and it teeters on the brink of a socialist invasion from within by a small horde of misguided political candidates who apparently have not done their homework prior to engaging in downright deceit or ignorance. I believed that the uniform I wore was the difference between enslavement and freedom. What these policrats are suggesting rails against everything that I and my companions fought for. UN forces halted the communist drive into South Korea. By November, a truce was arranged, and the country was split at the thirty-eighth parallel. It still is! This set the stage for another disaster, Vietnam, but that chapter was much longer. In 1953, President Eisenhower’s inaugural address was “We are called upon to give testimony in the sight of the world to our faith that our future shall belong to the free.” He knew from his war experience that the price of preserving freedom was high, “but it is a cost we must pay for the generations yet to come.” In June 1953, Soviet tanks crushed a mutiny in East Berlin. More than twenty people were killed, and nearly two hundred were injured. It was an anticommunist riot that began because of communist oppression.

In 1954, President Eisenhower also propounded the domino theory, which suggested that country after country would fall to communist aggression. He was accurate, but most Americans were war-weary and elected to go to churches on Sundays and pray for peace—a calm that would merely be episodic for the United States for years to come! At the same time, fifty thousand Viet Minh troops encircled a French garrison in Vietnam, forcing the French out of the country. President Eisenhower called US intervention “simply beyond contemplation.” So, why did John Kennedy invest in Vietnam after he became president, and why did President Johnson later accelerate the war? In the 1960s, Kennedy said, “We are only six percent of the world’s population that we cannot impose our will on the other ninety-four percent, that we cannot fight every wrong or reverse each adversity, and that therefore there cannot be an American solution to every world problem.” At the time, the stage was being set for another war, and if any of our policy makers had any real wisdom, we may have avoided the coming slaughter. In September 1954, 250,000 fled to South Vietnam. Once again, communism wasn’t the ideal that people were promised. In November 1956, Soviet tanks crushed a revolt in Hungary. Up to ten thousand Hungarians were killed, and thirty thousand were wounded. Soviet Russia didn’t want Hungary to secede from communism. Again, they committed murder and mayhem to keep people shackled to the socialist system. In January 1958, something remarkable happened. “The communist party in America became a futile and impotent political sect, proclaimed John Gates as he resigned from the party and quit his position as editor of The Daily Worker yesterday. His dissatisfaction and renunciation of communism and subsequent job resignation further splinters the party and closes the newspaper; it will be the first time in nearly 40 years that communists in this country don’t have their own daily publication. Gates also said the isolation and decline of the communist party in America have long been apparent” (Chronicle of the 20th Century). So, why is it being resurrected now by reactionary and uninformed politicians and educators? In 1959, the Batista government was overthrown in Cuba. Batista was a selfish, ill-mannered, inconsiderate thug who cared about his place in the palace more

than his people, and he had no governance acumen. The communist guerilla Fidel Castro overthrew Batista by aligning himself with an existing insurrection that fought against Batista. Keep in mind that this happened ninety miles from the Florida coast. The USA saw its first communist country within striking distance of its shores. Castro was an oppressive, vindictive personality. He was seemingly less vulgar than Batista, but like any other dictator, he was another Hitler who was able to scream into a microphone and lie to the weary and unaware people that he claimed to liberate. Again, people too often confuse a political character’s ion with integrity and competency. He then readied a plan to murder his opponents, which was an accusation he made against Batista. One blundering narcissist believed he had the qualifications to lead his country because he overthrew its previous narcissist! Like most autocrats, Castro wanted to make sure that he would have no competition in the future. And he did not, but the Cuban people lived with scarcity and anxiety until he died. From 1959 to 1961, China’s communism resulted in a great famine. It killed “an estimated thirty million people. Drought played a part, but the catastrophe was inflicted mainly by the whims of Chairman Mao. The Chinese leader’s Great Leap Forward collectivized farming and forced peasants to turn their harvests over to a centralized bureaucracy. I cannot recall a time when socialism or communism actually resulted in something positive. In April 1960, the flow of East German refugees into West Berlin increased because of communist collectivization. In the week since Good Friday, 6,478 East Germans were received by West Berlin. Again, why were so many people fleeing communism? In 1961, America broke its diplomatic relations with Cuba. The US naval base there continued to be manned, but tensions were high as affairs of state changed almost instantly. A young Democrat by the name of John F. Kennedy became president. He was the youngest ever elected and the first Catholic as well. Representatives from nineteen Latin American countries, at a meeting in Punta Del Este, Uruguay, declared their for Kennedy’s alliance for progress, and the United States promised to supply the major portion of the $200,000,000,000 needed over the next ten years for t social and economic changes in Latin America. It was a huge investment, and even after Kennedy’s istration, US officials were intent on not squandering that much cash, but allowing the Soviet Union to

influence South American politics was not an option! Unfortunately, many South American public figures embezzled much of those funds instead of using the massive donations to rehabilitate their economies. Communism was, however, growing in South America, and our CIA and military forces were involved with the continent on a consistent basis, trying to protect our investment! But communist Russia would step up campaigns in as many Latin American nations as possible in order to provoke dissension and aggression—all in the name of an ideological preference. Meanwhile, the USA sent money, food, arms, and military advisors to Vietnam to deter the surge of communism in Asia. Kennedy appointed a man by the name of Bundy to serve as his special assistant for national security affairs, a position that has come to be known as national security advisor. Bundy transformed what had been a post of marginal influence in the Eisenhower era into a dominant player in the management of American global strategy. People like Kennedy, Bundy, and McNamara (the secretary of defense) were part of the generation that reached maturity in the post–World War II era. Vietnam was on the horizon of political concern, and Bundy, in a speech, cautioned his audience that the collapse of South Vietnam would produce “a great weakening in the free societies in their ability to withstand communism” (Histories Timeline). Kennedy’s men were united in their awareness that the Cold War was a global competition, and they believed that the United States “should play our necessary part.” To understand the American war in Vietnam, you must understand the prevalence of the strong political sentiment that believed that it was right to oppose the expansionist effort of the Soviet communists and their allies. The rising tension of the Cold War contributed to an anxiety-driven political atmosphere. Kennedy’s soaring inaugural address in January 1961 promised the world, “We shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, any friend, and oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and success of liberty.” By April 1961, a 1,300-man brigade of Cuban exiles landed on the beach of the Bay of Pigs in Cuba. The brigade was composed of Cubans who started living in Florida after Castro usurped the island. They were vastly outnumbered and, within a day, were surrounded by the Cuban Army, which was twenty thousand

strong. This was not a well-planned or organized assault! Although our CIA had trained the exiles and funded the operation, President Kennedy was clear from the beginning that he would not intervene militarily and that “the US Marines would not come to their rescue.” There was also supposed to be military air , but Kennedy did not approve it during the final hours of the assault, and he therefore crafted dangerous enemies for himself in the CIA and DOD (Department of Defense)! In July 1961, thousands of East Germans were fleeing—three thousand in one week alone. Once again, I ask, if communism or socialism is so great, why have millions tried to escape it for generations? In August 1961, Berlin was cut in two by a communist wall. If their form of government is so great, why did they need to force people to stay? In August 1962, a man was killed while climbing the Berlin Wall in order to reach freedom. Peter Fechter, who was eighteen years old, lay in a pool of blood for an hour while East German police watched. The youth was attempting to defect over the six-foot wall when he was machine-gunned in the back. Helpless West Berlin police could only toss him bandages. He cried out for help a few times before going silent. He was the first to have died while trying to get over the wall. During October 1962, the most serious confrontation between Russia and America brought the world to the brink of a massive war again. US reconnaissance-aircraft photos revealed the construction of nuclear-missile sites in Cuba. President Kennedy ordered a naval blockade and demanded that the missiles be removed. The media suggested that, faced with the threat of losing Cuba, the Russian leader, Khrushchev, backed down in a very dangerous game of international chess, which wasn’t accurate. I was still in high school, and most of America’s citizens were cemented to their TVs nightly until the calamity was over. Kennedy ultimately rejected military engagement except for the naval blockade and used a diplomatic phone exchange with the Russians and agreed to remove American Jupiter missiles from Turkey to settle the standoff! Also, during his istration, Kennedy was discussing and drafting a plan to downsize or even eliminate the CIA! Again, the DOD, the CIA, and other political hawks were not happy with the president! In October 1963, a $250-million wheat sale was made to the USSR—Russia’s supposed utopian society! President Kennedy thought that by helping the

starving Soviets, the act would “represent one more hopeful sign that a more peaceful world is both possible and beneficial to us all.” Some politicos were definitely not happy with Kennedy because this decision came on the heels of the Cuban Missile Crisis! According to socialist doctrine, it should have been the other way around. We should have been receiving abundance from the communists. Their hollow parade was definitely showing the entrails of weakness and superficiality. The Cold War didn’t get any warmer while an assassination on November 22, 1963, made the headlines. John Kennedy, the president, was shot dead in Dallas, Texas! The vice president, Lyndon Johnson, was sworn in later as president, and Americans, along with most of the Western world, wept and wondered. On the very same day, I had just arrived at the marine barracks of Guantanamo Bay Naval Base, Cuba, and was being briefed on security with the other new arrivals. We were issued weapons and combat gear with ammo and sent to the notorious fence line that separated the base from the rest of Cuba. Castro, the militant dictator, was suspected in the president’s death because of the Bay of Pigs incident and the Cuban Missile Crisis. I spent the next six months defending the base and thinking about how far I had come on the road of life. It was only a few months after the missile crisis, and here I was, in the middle of it all! We often watched the channel where Soviet ships sailed out with what seemed to be missiles onboard. We were a small contingent and, of course, could not have held off a full-scale invasion. Castro’s army was twenty thousand strong, but we didn’t really worry about it. We knew Castro wasn’t that stupid. Had he done something so bold, an entire division would have invaded, and the new president, Lyndon Johnson, would have had no hesitation about sending in more marines. We had a legitimate disdain for them because they treated their own people with such indignity and abuse. Other posts consisted of large towers with large binoculars that were used to survey a line of fence that meandered for miles. Occasionally, some Cuban civilians would try to run or climb to our side, but the Cuban soldiers almost always dragged them to the ground and even shot them dead on the fence. Yes, communism was a good idea but only on paper! Forced belonging isn’t belonging; it’s oppression—something the communists did all over the globe! If a government has to keep people in, it must not be that great!

Communism was also a self-survival system because people lacked the commodities that Americans took for granted. Castro was senseless and unreasonable. He ruled with intimidation, not leadership, and we could only witness the atrocities from afar. He actually had his soldiers hang people just across the fence from us. Why? Because they tried to hide a share of the money they earned while working on the navy base. Some civilians were actually shot to death while trying to climb the fence around the navy base! It really doesn’t matter what kind of clothing some politicians try to dress socialism in; it’s still a complete failure. Even if someone calls it democratic socialism. It’s still akin to a vacant old building—worn and smelly. I am convinced that no political or religious fanatic really has the market cornered on the knowledge they profess, but the determination with which they shout out their cause is sufficient on its own to captivate their listeners! Unfortunately, the zeal of the followers soon becomes resignation, which then becomes lethargy. A mass of people then occupy themselves with whatever routine is available in order to avoid thinking about the misinformation they were given at election time. In 1964, the communist leader Khrushchev was considered to be erratic by his party. He had yielded to the Americans during the Cuban Missile Crisis, and while on holiday, he was placed under arrest until his death in 1971. Does that sound democratic? Fair? Was the issue resolved with integrity? Later, in 1991, party tried to interfere with Gorbachev while he was on holiday by placing him under arrest. The instigators were forced to cease their dirty tricks, however, and he was returned to Moscow but not without consequences. Again, this is not a democratic maneuver, but there are factions in this country today that are trying to disrupt the government with similar dastardly deeds, and some media outlets are ing them! It was 1965, and Americans were becoming increasingly concerned as the USA extended its military commitments abroad in order to respond to the domino theory. Communist Russia was not shy or secretive about its intention to put an end to capitalism wherever or whenever they could. They always focused on the theme of capitalism and forgot to refer to our system as “the home of the free and the land of the brave.”

During April, President Johnson announced that he was sending US Marines and some of the US Army Airborne into the Dominican Republic to protect Americans and the US embassy there. A civil war was raging, and no president wanted another communist regime in Latin America, especially Johnson! It was the first use of American forces in the region since 1933. Time magazine commented on the Dominican uprising: “If ever a firm hand was needed to keep order, last week was the time and the Dominican Republic was the place.” Its cover story had photos of marines in the streets of Santo Domingo with the caption “The only hope of safety in a city gone berserk.” The fighting was over almost immediately, and there were accusations of Cuban involvement. Thirtysix Americans died, and 2,850 Dominicans were killed. I feeling sorry for them; they were peasants who had been given weapons but were not prepared for combat. They were sold an incredible storybook notion of communism that inevitably got them killed. I was awarded my first campaign ribbon, and I would soon be involved in a more prolonged and intense fight— Vietnam. Elsewhere in South America, the poor were rightfully weary with inequality, but The Communist Manifesto was not their best chance for change. At the time, Nicaragua and Honduras were also politically unstable. The CIA was involved in coups that occurred in those places, and American morality was being tested in the international scene. The Yale economics department led the CIA’s black operations in Central America, Africa, and Southeast Asia. This fact is now known to the general public, but at the time, it was very covert. But the Cuban and Soviet influences in the region did justify the covert actions. As usual, the media did its part to confuse the masses with televised news and a tendency to compress complex information into a brief TV report. Of course, the media displayed only violence and didn’t explain our country’s role in a troubled world and how influential Russian involvement was. “If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re misinformed” (Mark Twain). I arrived in Vietnam during September 1965. By 1966, I was one of the 190,000 troops in the country. President Johnson escalated the war, but he did not define the scope of the military objectives or a long-term commitment—the factors that would ensure a victory or the conditions that would allow the USA to extricate itself from the conflict. Johnson also tended to quarterback the fighting from the war room in the White House and failed to replace his incompetent staff with others who could have been more successful.

Johnson was overconfident and impatient and surrounded himself with yes-men who did little to help lead the nation to a successful conclusion in Vietnam. He was also intolerant of military leaders who disagreed with him and even caused the early retirement of the three-star Marine general Victor Krulak, who would have been a key ally in resolving the stalemate of that time. Johnson spoke of commitment, and in a speech, he talked about “a national pledge to help South Vietnam defend independence.” He continued this line of thought by saying, “To dishonor that pledge, to abandon this small brave nation to its enemy and to the terror that must follow would be an unforgivable wrong. We are also there to strengthen world order. Around the globe, from Berlin to Thailand, are people whose well-being rests in part on the belief that they can count on us if they are attacked. To leave Vietnam to its fate would shake the confidence of all these people and in the value of the American commitment.” Quite a lecture from someone who, by 1968, decided not to run for reelection because of the unpopularity of the war. The Republicans easily won the election, and they placed Richard M. Nixon in the White House. President Johnson called his secretary of defense, McNamara, “smart and humane.” He had Rhodes scholars and Yale graduates on his staff but couldn’t find a workable strategy that would end the mistakes that were costing lives. I honestly believe Johnson had the best of intentions and wanted to be a great president. He said, “Families must not live in poverty, and children must not go hungry.” He ed bills on poverty and health care but is ed as the president who didn’t end the war. Inevitably, the decisions were his though, and that sealed his fate. I think the motto was “Retreat does not bring safety,” but if one looks back with hindsight bias, they’ll find that the act of speculating is easy. Johnson also said, “We fight for the principle of self-determination.” But the South Vietnamese never took on the responsibility of defending themselves. They relied on the USA for too long and paid the price of freedom. At the time, various universities staged what were called sit-ins to protest the war as the bodies stacked up during our fight with the Viet Cong, but American casualties were the focus of the evening news. No previous war was reported with such one-sided media bias as was Vietnam. It was a nightly review of death and destruction, and the media focused on every disaster and showed their coverage ad nauseam for the shock effect. How many times did we have to see airliners fly into the Twin Towers or the bombings in Boston? Vietnam was worse!

It’s the spice of sensationalism and was used by reporters who wanted recognition at any cost. Their philosophy was and still is “Whoever has the microphone has the control.” So, South Vietnam continued to be invaded in the name of socialism. Again, the USA continued to rescue them, but the South Vietnamese never resolved to defend themselves. They relied on the USA to fight their battles, and when we withdrew in 1975, they collapsed under the military might of the North Vietnam, which was funded by China and Russia. I served with the Ninth Marine Regiment, First Battalion, Alpha Company in Vietnam. I experienced firsthand exactly how socialists and communists infiltrate and then overwhelm people with military interventions all because of arrogant, radical doctrines that, in reality, do not provide favorable outcomes. The communists afforded minimal means of industrial and agrarian structures, medical equipment, and food supplies. The only things they had plenty of were weapons and military advisors. If socialism or communism was so damn great, why weren’t they feeding these people instead of arming them? Had they followed the example of Gandhi, we all would have gone home very quickly and without losses! Now my biggest regret is that Americans died for a country that was torn apart by a political ideology that overshadowed the real heroism that was a daily occurrence in that forsaken place. Real heroism is often overlooked by a media busybody in favor of a disgusting rumor or piece of sensationalism. My take on the media is this: They can continue to sell garbage that infects our nation with pessimism, paranoia, and chaos while a vendor who sells rotten produce goes out of business almost immediately! In retrospect, all we had to do was wait another thirty years for communism to defeat itself. But every coin has its flip side, and perhaps not fending off communist aggression would have resulted in more belligerence and invasions. Hindsight, not parting, is such sweet sorrow. With time, communism imploded in on itself and withered away, as do all things in nature. All things that oppose freedom—and believe me, communism and socialism do—must perish, as well as religious intolerance, which has now replaced communism as America’s new enemy in the Middle East. Had we not stood our ground against the onslaught of radical communists in Vietnam, South America, Korea, and Europe, communists would most assuredly have continued

their quest for the supreme socialist ideal for all of humanity—whether we wanted it or not! The world would be a very different place now, just as it would have been had we not intervened in Hitler’s version of socialist madness during WWII! Communism bred social lethargy through the containment of individual motivation and individual achievement. This is why so many young American’ts turned to drugs during the 1960s and 1970s. Feeling helpless, they merely resigned themselves to what they saw as political mismanagement and embraced a great big heavy-metal, drug-inflamed, nonstop party. Little did they know that two presidents who they had condemned, Johnson and Nixon, were feeling the same way. They just didn’t resort to drug-induced enthusiasm to deal with the whole damn mess! The headlines of 1968 reminded the world of the failures of communism. Soviet tanks invaded a defiant Prague. “Words could not convince Alexander Dubcek to abandon his liberal experiment in Czechoslovakia. Tonight, Soviet tanks are patrolling Prague, and angry Czechs are fighting back with guns, sticks and even their bare hands. They even managed to set some of the Soviet tanks and munitions trucks on fire” (Histories Timeline). The headlines of 1968 described more chaos. The Chinese Communist Army gained power in China. With the Chinese Communist Party shattered from top to bottom, the army was firmly in control in China. Mao’s Cultural Revolution was winding down, and it would take years for the people to recover. Mao’s campaign to purge his enemies and renew revolutionary zeal led to such widespread chaos and violence that the army was the only force capable of restoring order. Many people died at the hands of wild, vicious Red Guards. The social war in the USA continued as some whites in the South fought against equality for blacks, and the country was in mayhem. I recall getting so angry at times and feeling so helpless. Weak leadership, fools running amok in the streets, everyone debating or arguing, young people criticizing, and some just reg themselves to drugs—looking back, I’m surprised that America wasn’t overcome by the chaos. It speaks highly of our nation that we were able to survive such turbulence. Anti-war dissent was disarmed when President Nixon withdrew 150,000 troops from Vietnam and promised to end the war. Many years later, secret documents

from the KGB, Russia’s CIA equivalent, revealed that they had agents and a lot of money invested in the unrest in American colleges across the country, which fomented young college students with popular socialist dogma. They chose collectivist professors who resided in academia all their lives and knew nothing beyond their own rhetoric to carry the banner of dissent against the most unpopular event in American history. They were the archetypes of American’ts. Some similar dissidents now disgrace democracy in certain universities. Their one-sided rhetoric cannot tolerate any conclusion that is contrary to their socialist dogma, and some of our youth are being infected without any sane, rational intervention. In 1972, President Nixon had completed one term and was handily reelected for a second. He won considerable esteem for his reversal of foreign affairs with his dramatic and successful overtures toward governments, such as China’s and the Soviet Union’s. He also continued to bring closure to the Vietnam War. His visit to Moscow resulted in agreements on nuclear weapons, but by June, the president’s security officer and several other staff were arrested for breaking into the Democratic Party’s headquarters. This would eventually end his presidency! By December, American forces carried out the heaviest bombing on North Vietnam, which resurrected peace talks in Paris. A politico named Henry Kissinger, a leftover of the Kennedy and Johnson istrations, had been spending a lot of time in Paris talking to the North Vietnamese representatives while American troops fought deadly battles. He wondered why the peace talks weren’t working! Kissinger was another “intellectual” who perhaps was too smart to realize that the Vietnamese were jerking his chain so that they could recuperate because we were inflicting such heavy casualties on their marauding hordes! He spent his time in a swank hotel, eating French food and intellectualizing too many ceasefires so our enemy could regroup, resupply, and rearm. Meanwhile, American troops ate swill, ducked bullets, and lost friends or, worse, body parts! “Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it” (Mark Twain). On September 5, 1972, eight Palestinian terrorists broke into the Olympic Village in Munich, , killing two of the Israeli team and taking nine hostages. In an ensuing battle at the airport, all nine Israeli hostages were killed, as were all five of the terrorists, along with one policeman. In defiance of the terrorists, the IOC ordered the competitions to resume after a pause of thirtyfour hours. This would be the beginning of terrorist acts worldwide and would

lead Middle Eastern countries on a course of destruction that would last for years. The world watched in horror as the media flashed images with great constancy, assisting the terrorists by putting them in the world’s spotlight! Their trust in the media allowed them to continue atrocities for some years. They hijacked airliners or took hostages because they knew they would be the focus of attention! In January 1973, peace accords were signed, and they ended the stalemate in Vietnam. It was agreed that the North Vietnamese would no longer invade or send troops into South Vietnam. Under the of the Paris peace accords, the United States and all other foreign governments were to withdraw their combat troops from South Vietnam within sixty days. The South Vietnamese government agreed to negotiate with the National Liberation Front—the Viet Cong—toward a peaceful settlement, and reunification was to be, in the words of the document, “carried out step by step by peaceful means.” Exempt from the document was the detachment of US Marine security guards at the embassy in Saigon. All the other American troops were withdrawn. The North Vietnamese broke the of the accord in late 1974. Their army chief, General Van Tin Dung (yes, that’s right—Dung), began a military push into South Vietnam with the intention of conquering it once and for all. The North Vietnamese had broken their promise—like a spoiled child seeking avenues for candy or more playtime! So, contrary to what you’ve heard, we didn’t lose the war; we kept our end of the bargain, but North Vietnam didn’t! President Johnson said, “In the end, the Vietnamese must do the job for themselves.” They never got the concept and continued to rely on us to fight their fights! After we left, they simply yielded themselves to the North Vietnamese! Statistically, the military under Hanoi’s command suffered five hundred thousand battle fatalities by 1968 and between two and three million additional losses by 1975. Our casualties were 58,191, and this number does not even include the wounded. That’s not losing. In the end, the intellectual Henry Kissinger had to leave Paris, having been duped one final time by the clever, socialist North Vietnamese! On April 30, 1975, the last helicopter out of Vietnam landed on the USS Okinawa, a naval ship designed to carry marines and their helicopters. The contingent of marine security guards had burned as many documents as possible at the embassy and were the final military personnel to leave the country. President Ford reflected on America’s unheralded achievement in the closing

hours of the war. “When it was all over, I felt deep satisfaction and relief that the evacuation had been a success,” he wrote. “The problem of what to do with the refugees, however, remained. More than 120,000 of them managed to escape, but they had nowhere to go. I felt that the United States had a special obligation to them, and on April 30, I asked Congress to approve a bill that would provide $507 million for their transportation and care.” After World War II, we had opened our immigration gates and offered a new life to 1.4 million displaced persons plus 50,000 after the Hungarian revolution in 1956 and half a million Cubans after Castro came to power in 1959. In 1975, refugee camps for the Vietnamese were established primarily at Camp Pendleton, California. The media was still trying to insist that we lost the war. When you recognize what happened across these years, you will realize that the USA gave more money and other forms of assistance to foreign countries than any other on the planet. But some say that we aren’t doing enough. Tell that to Russia, China, or other socialist countries. They do nothing or very little. In 1976, Mao died, and many in China were itting the failures of the communist system. The Chinese people began to demand democracy, and China began to receive the outside world, which resulted in tourism, trade, and more openness. In 1979, Russian forces invaded Afghanistan, and a political revolution began in Iran. For the next three decades, there would be political miscalculations and frustration for the US presidents. Today, Iran remains a bitter enemy of the USA, as does North Korea. Since the socialist Nazi movement in the Second World War and the following communist paranoia—with all their desperate, oppressive attempts to exhaust democracy—the historical existences of hatred and mistrust remained constant, and there was no such thing as a world safe for democracy. Also, the 1979 headlines continued to reveal that communist governments were turning against each other. China and Vietnam had a border war. The Soviet Union called China its most serious threat. Somoza was ousted. Nicaragua was in ruins. Castro, at the United Nations, asked for third-world aid. I thought he overthrew Batista because he could handle that problem? What happened to his communistic agenda and prattle? Bolivia had another coup and a strike. The Salvadoran military removed their president. All these things happened due to

socialist or communist mismanagement. In 1981, communist Russia still wasn’t able to produce enough food for its own people. Socialism and communism were still alive, although many of the people who lived under them weren’t. A headline reminded everyone that a shortage of food was worrying Brezhnev. Another article announced that socialists won big in the Greek elections. Ronny Reagan was welcomed into the White House. He called for the end of the misuse of American military personnel, as well as the end of the crushing tax burden that was the growing national debt. Latin American involvement in the 1980s was exhausting to watch. As the communists continued to provide arms and lies in South America, the USA checked their efforts with kind determination. Nicaragua was under a covert siege being done by Marxist-Leninist regimes backed by the Soviet Union and its Caribbean puppet, Fidel Castro of Cuba. The fear, of course, was that the Central American involvement would end up like the Vietnam debacle, and most Americans were disillusioned by war and tired of foreign commitment. In 1987, an article announced that the Right and Left both wanted a free market! Communism was showing its weaknesses. In 1988, the headlines asserted the coming collapse of the communist regimes in Eastern Europe. The Soviet leader Gorbachev announced that certain countries had become “less useful” to Moscow and economic burdens. What he really meant was the USSR could no longer afford to keep those countries chained to a failing socialist model. With the removal of the threat of the Soviet military, opposition movements became increasingly widespread. In Poland and Hungary, the communist parties were forced into roundtable talks with opposition groups as it became clear that the populations would no longer stand for party rule. The communist monopoly of power in both Bulgaria and Czechoslovakia soon ended as their populations learned from the examples being set in neighboring countries. Articles from Histories Timeline described how the world was changing and accentuated the futileness of the socialist and communist ideologies. Dramatic

political changes in every country of Eastern Europe provided a sensational end to the 1980s and continued into the 1990s. In June 1989, there was a partially free election in Poland, the first since World War II. It resulted in a convincing win for candidates of the once-banned trade union movement. Finally, the communist government fell. In Romania, the iron-fisted regime of the communists came to a sudden end. In Bulgaria, a reformist government took over and gave the country’s large Muslim minority their religious freedom. After the 1991 election, Bulgaria enacted a plan to return the lands seized by the communists to their original owners. Foreign investment was encouraged. In Czechoslovakia, the communist government fell. A leading dissident, Vaclav Havel, became president. The former communist party leader was ousted from power after he tried to lead a reform movement. In 1990, demonstrations, many thousands strong, happened in many major cities of East , and they were followed by a mass exodus of refugees headed for West . The East German government was forced to let them go. Then suddenly, they began to demolish the Berlin Wall. A hundred thousand East Berliners took a day trip to West Berlin. By the end of the year, the communist regime ended, and on October 3, East was reunited with West .

Chapter 9

Transactional Relationships

The only true path to personal success and happiness is an internally motivated course of action that includes resilience, the ability to respond to the environment in healthy and efficient ways and the self-efficacy needed to pursue the dreams that set the stage for a prosperous future. Self-awareness and internal motivation are also included. Getting to know ourselves, especially our hidden talents and imperfections, is the first step, so let’s start with self-awareness. One will need three ingredients if they want to follow this recipe for success:

1. Appropriate communications skills—things that very few humans ever acquire. But by acquiring them, we can learn more about ourselves and how we influence others. 2. Understanding one’s role in a family, community, or workplace while maintaining autonomy and working toward interdependence. Part of this involves reflecting on our past shortcomings and changing the habits we need to change! 3. Understanding how to deal with distressing outcomes, how to learn from them, and how to plan for the future so as to avoid disappointments even though we cannot completely control every outcome.

I believe that all human beings gain the ability to become many things if they are properly educated; however, individual motivation and personal ability must be learned first. If character development is left to chance, the odds of getting a positive outcome become questionable! If more people learn efficient

ways to deal with challenges and learn to use the system we call democracy, many, many more citizens will excel and become productive. This will raise the morale of the country and feed our political treasuries instead of draining them. Likewise, ineffective programs that have yet to assist the ones who live in poverty pockets will be tailored for the production of outcomes; thus, national productivity will accelerate. Eventually, all things in life come down to one thing—We must all come to grips with ourselves. We must all realize that if we are to be successful, we are going to have to create and promote our individual and unique personalities and talents! If, for whatever reason, someone cannot or does not accept this fact, they will be forever lost in a sea of confusion, which makes them vulnerable to marketers, especially political marketers, for they seek more and more ways to get into our personal lives with one goal in mind; they want to glean enough information to categorize us and consequently appeal to us for votes. Throughout the book, I have referenced hollow parades. It is now time for me to discuss hollow character. I do not do this to condemn, blame, judge, or accuse. It is obvious to most of us that there are citizens who are lacking something important—something that keeps them from achieving their maximum potentials. How many of us have asked ourselves from time to time, “What’s missing?” A good example of a hollow personality would be a youngster who becomes tomorrow’s criminal, a kid who is trying to fill a void or trying to displace the hollowness they feel as a result of their being positioned in some no-win situation or neighborhood. For such a child, personality development is often a matter of survival, and there are too few role models who can help the child prepare for a healthy future. For such a child, there is no self-esteem—merely other esteem. It’s time to shift the focus of the book and address this issue. Before I do, I have mentioned Hollowood numerous times, so now it’s time to mention Hollywood. Some in that industry have given us tremendous movies on this subject—flicks like Take the Lead, Lambada, Swing Vote, Rain, Pay It Forward, Love Actually, Coach Carter, The Power of One, and The Milagro Beanfield War, just to name a few. Inspirational films show us that people can achieve if they are given a chance. But first, they need to believe in themselves!

Before any of us can progress with an opportunity, we need to gain personal efficacy. Personal efficacy is a very delicate subject sometimes because its value depends on our unique interpretation of someone else’s abilities or talents. In our culture, it isn’t okay to discuss someone else’s personal life, character flaws, or lack of achievement, so moving to the practical application phase of helping others becomes difficult. The first phase is identifying the personal challenges that hold people back from their natural desire to succeed or excel. Everything I am about to share with you is paramount to success regarding every endeavor in your life—personal and professional. Throughout the book, I described certain behaviors and attitudes as childlike or adolescent. When I use these , what I am referring to is a personality that has not become integrated or aware of its separate identities and qualities. A doctor named Eric Berne wrote a wonderful book on human behavior some years ago, Transactional Analysis; it detailed certain ideas that still hold true today. He believed that we are a combination of child, adult, and parent because these act as fundamental character traits or social roles as we move through our development as humans. His ideas are simpler and more to the point than Sigmund Freud’s. Freud got his ideas from Greek philosophers who lived over two thousand years ago. His id described the body and its desires. His ego referred to motive or the mind, and his superego referred to principles. Id includes libido, which seeks discharge and or gratification and is the raw energy (eustress or vital force) of human drives that urge us to satisfy needs, especially basic needs (food, water, shelter, sex, etc.). Basic needs relate to the body and satisfy the flesh. This includes sexual appetite, which is disengaged from intellect, other affections, and morality. The parent is able for the child’s education while the child develops and learns the differences between needs and desires. The child has to learn the differences so that the desires do not become psychologically interwoven or confused with other needs. Gratification is the end result of all needs; however, physical gratification or appetites can overcome the other senses if the child does not learn social principles, social standards, and the development of higher-order needs, such as the use of natural talents and the potential for success.

There are some politicians who don’t really understand this, so they promise these unfortunate people free stuff generation after generation, but there is still no relief in sight. The citizens are paying for social programs that aren’t working because no one is addressing the key issues of human development. Ego is the “I” or sense of self apart from others. The workings of the Ego, like those of the Id, are in large measure unconscious. It includes not only what we think and dream about but also how our minds cope with those thoughts and dreams. Ego includes Super Ego (conscience) which is parents, elders, clergy, teachers incorporated within ego. Our morality, our beliefs, our principles, and our integrity are comprised of the effects that our environment and our history have had on us. Personal boundaries are supposed to be developed so that we can determine where we begin and others end. Motivation is the tool of these mechanisms, and hopefully, we will learn internal motivation as we become adults. The Romans were influenced by the Greeks, and Marcus Aurelius (AD 161– 180) painted similar views on radical behavior: “Not yet achieving maturity. Consider how many already have lived in mutual enmity, suspicion, hatred, and conflict, and now lie dead, reduced to ashes and to be quiet at last.” Not much seems to have changed in the last two thousand years! If Berne was right, and I believe he was, we can see the results of his work by observing human beings today. Here is an example. I saw a recent photo: “Trump fires back after Schumer pulls offer to barrier along border.” There was a classic child-parent photo. Schumer had an adolescent pose— pouting, eyes looking toward the ceiling in defiance, and crossed arms trying to show indifference. Trump was pictured with a parental look of authority and pointing a finger in frustration. Now, I’m sure that neither were aware that their face-off showed a type of family interaction, and most of us don’t either. Who wants to it that they act childish once in a while or that they behave like a parent to their spouse while they are reacting in frustration to some offensive comment? “Adults need physical as much as children, but it is not always available, so some compromise has to occur; they instead seek symbolic emotional strokes from others. A movie star, for instance, may get his strokes from the hundreds of letters of his adoring fans, while a scientist may get hers from a single positive commendation that came from a leading figure in her field. Berne defined the

stroke as the fundamental unit of social action. An exchange of strokes is a transaction. His creation, the phrase “transactional analysis,” describes the dynamics of social interaction. In any given social interaction, Berne argued, we exhibit one of these basic states and can easily shift from one to another. For instance, we can easily take on the child’s creativity, curiosity, and charm, but then we use the child’s tantrums or stubbornness. Within each mode, we can be productive or unproductive. A fixed identity or stultified personality is exactly what keeps people from being creative, from changing, and from getting an achievement. A personality with no determination is tomorrow’s welfare case or, worse, criminal. Once these ideas are expanded collectively, we can see the philosophy behind socialism. People who are afraid of life or afraid of challenges can easily escape into dependency relationships under the banner of “Somebody take care of me!” And as mentioned earlier in the chapter on socialism, some political charmers are all too happy to gratify the needy with fairy tales; however, their style of parenting becomes authoritative or, worse, neglectful after the election. “The proverb warns that you should not bite the hand that feeds you. But, maybe you should if it prevents you from feeding yourself” (Thomas Szasz). Transactional analysis basically s the premise that these three main character types (child, adult, and parent) are parts of one’s personality. After all, we were or will be one of these. But we don’t give up or totally lose any of these unique characters that are embedded in our psyches. Take our inner child, for instance. If we do lose the spontaneous, gregarious, curious, carefree part of our character, we would become quite boring and stoic. How would we interact at a party? As a Grinch? And more importantly, how would we deal with distress? Children have a built-in stress-reduction module that helps them deal with challenges. They develop these skills through playacting unless adults tamper with the system. If we are suspicious, uptight, reactionary, or overly cautious, children will follow our lead and perhaps become uptight themselves. Children are, after all, Xerox machines. We need to maintain the child within because we will always need fun, laughter, curiosity, and enthusiasm. We need to keep that childlike spirit as we work or play. When many people grow up, they learn to take the self, way too seriously,

and some even become heart attacks that are waiting to happen. A repressed child can become an overly activated adult—too serious and too cautious. Here is a list of important characteristics that we need to continue to develop for a balanced adulthood. No-limit thinking. As children, we believe that we might become presidents, great artists, or great explorers. But as adults, we begin to put fences around those dreams. No inhibitions. Children speak from the heart, and as adults, we need to do more of that. Read people and situations. Children can see past the trappings of material success and see into the core of a person. Most forms of development merely add to our personality, and we do not necessarily lose parts of it. But if we do not develop a solid and mature adult, we can be left with too much child, and this makes us appear immature at times or leaves us indecisive. This has to do with the continuum of dependency versus autonomy. It also has a lot to do with people acting out of character or emotional cajoling or outbursts. When a supposed adult gets irritated, we usually think, “Well, she’s just angry.” But anger arrives on the cusp of too much frustration and not realizing that we have other options that can handle the problem. Our child can be of assistance at a party but is not so helpful at a business meeting. So, we all try to balance our personalities as we go from one venue to the next. This is why actors are so entertaining. They do it better than most of us. We also know how well they can feign any sentiment. There are times when the child contained within the personality interacts as though it needs to take control. The best method for regulating the environment is to be heard, but because the child lacks experience, it tends to interrupt. The child wants to take over but fails to realize that the choices that it makes are not based on experience. It’s only when we it that we have some remaining youthful incompetence that we are able to learn additional information and then gain wisdom or solve with more precision. If a child fails to learn efficient communications skills, most likely that person will suffer in the future. Mature communications are paramount, but “if you look at all of the conversations of our world, between nations as well as couples, they are for the most part

dialogues of the deaf” (Paul Tournier). As I watch political personalities banter and accuse, I wonder how mature they really are? Our overall personality doesn’t really distinguish at any given time which character is interacting with the environment. We don’t say to ourselves “My child within is engaged right now and is out of its depth” because we literally have the mind-set of our child when it is engaged. And if we are interacting with someone whose parent is over engaged, we enter a dialogue that is accompanied by frustration and confusion or unintended embarrassment. Anyone can get exhausted when they are exposed to someone else’s selective crisis, especially if it seems senseless. A child’s drama that is intended to turn others into easy prey is obvious, but when it is an adult’s, it is not so obvious. Control or a need for security that is associated with a drama from someone’s past is unexpressed messiness in the here and now! Fear that has been brought to the present in order to disrupt the current of life is not productive. But unfortunately, the child within doesn’t realize how damaging their routines really are. Think of it this way: The parent usually wants to use leadership traits, but during times of frustration or busyness, they might tend to fall back on old patterns such as scolding, showing exasperation, or cutting off the conversation. These are speedier brain traditions that are trying to multitask. But a child who is cloaked in adult apparel and is currently an employee or mate is not seen for what they are, so frustration is the outcome. The adult may prefer leadership traits, but under distress, they may fall back on repetitive habits in order to achieve immediate goals, but these habits might overlook principles that could bring on long-term and more efficient outcomes. The child, who does not have leadership traits and principles yet, is bound to overuse short-term and often-emotional responses to meet their needs. If the child never learns more efficient thinking and behavioral structures for problemsolving, they will surely reuse repetitive, unreliable traits while never understanding why they keep using the same behaviors over and over. This is what we refer to as a troubled youth in our culture. But when adults continue with undesirable behaviors, no one seems to recognize them as underdeveloped or uneducated characters.

What we are dealing with in some instances or relationships are unripe fruits— personalities that haven’t been in the sun long enough or on the vine long enough for aggregate maturity, whether they be public figures, entertainers, media magnets, or our neighbors and family . We are all characters in the largest play ever produced. It is larger than anything that Hollywood has even imagined. It’s the play of humanity! We—all of us—create our own performances with our own scripts and props. It’s called life! So, the question now is, do we want to change anything? Would you like to rewrite your script? Change your cast? Your props? Your location? If so, read on. I’ve been doing it all my life. It’s like using the cut-and-paste feature of a Word document! Family roles help us develop a self-concept that is later brought to new relationships. If our self-concept is one of poor self-esteem or failure, then the results will be obvious. If the environment was nurturing, then the results will likewise be obvious. “Family experiences lay down patterns both useful and not so useful that become models for how we think things are supposed to work when we become adults. Expectations are transmitted both directly by what our parents say and indirectly by what we observe. No one comes to a new relationship with a blank slate” (Carl Whittaker). This, of course, is what lies beneath our struggles and disappointments. As another’s differences and preferences for change collide with these subliminal patterns, dissonance or mental conflict occurs. As for intellect or potential, it’s time for our culture to begin seeing the illumination of humanity and stop categorizing people according to what is seen as intelligence! There are identifiable types of intellect or potential that need to be recognized in order for our education system to truly assist! Everyone has a different learning style, and expecting children to sit patiently in a classroom and wait for a teacher to understand this is ridiculous. Teachers need to respect individuality! Here are the types of intellect according to Howard Gardner: Linguistic—this involves appreciation for language, the ability to learn new languages, and the capability to use language to accomplish certain goals. Those who have a high degree of this type of intelligence may become good storytellers and can use humor to their advantage. Writers, poets, journalists, lawyers, and politicians are among this type of people; however, without morality and a trustworthy, mature conscience, their talents may be misplaced.

Logical (mathematical)—this is the capacity to analyze problems, carry out mathematical operations, and approach subjects scientifically. It entails detecting patterns, reasoning deductively, and thinking logically. Along with linguistics, this is what IQ tests mainly measure. Musical—this is the ability to think in of sounds, rhythms, and musical patterns. I like this definition: “Music is sound in its infinite variety.” There are plenty of people who have this talent; however, most won’t make it their vocation simply because of an entertainment-industry funnel that is extremely difficult to flow through. Bodily (kinesthetic)—this involves the ability to control and coordinate complex physical movements and express ideas through physical activity. Some sports figures make millions because they have this innate talent. Visual (spatial)—this is the ability to perceive objects in space accurately. People with this type tend to know where things should go. Sculptors and architects need a high degree of spatial intellect, as do navigators, visual artists, interior designers, and engineers. Interpersonal—this is the capacity to understand other people’s objectives, motivations, feelings, and desires. It is instrumental in building relationships. It is something we all need so that we can get along. Intrapersonal—this is the ability to understand self with a heightened awareness of our own feelings and motivations. It helps us develop effective working models of ourselves and learn to regulate ourselves. A lot of our youth aren’t able to tap into this gift due to parental figures who do not realize that their children need to become independent and insightful. We all have these gifts but in varying degrees and configurations! “Instead of asking how smart you are, it’s time to start asking how are you smart” (Howard Gardner). You may be wondering what, if anything, this has to do with the book. Well, everything! Politicians, media personalities, and entertainers of all makes and models express attitudes and behaviors just like everyone else. Unfortunately, some of them are naive idealists who seem to jump on any bandwagon that will garner them attention—even if it is a hollow parade. They are trying to meet exaggerated needs. In other words, they believe their needs are greater than the

average person’s. Consequently, they believe their viewpoints are likewise superior. Unattended children can usually find something controversial or mischievous to cloak themselves with while they are at play. And we all know the results of that if there’s no parent who can balance their intent. The parent that one becomes is often a combination of that person’s own parents, grandparents, older siblings, clergy, neighbors, and even schoolteachers. They can be identified by their internal, personal conversations. The parent may question the child within or even give sage advice, which can arise without us realizing what we are actually doing. Silent struggles can ensue, and we can find ourselves getting frustrated when we have the same conversations over and over in our heads. Dealing with our conscience or voice of reason usually isn’t entertaining, and when the child wins and we get what we want, it usually isn’t as satisfying as we thought it would be. Add to this the fact that we have to deal with everyone else’s child, parent, or adult. Life can be either interesting or frustrating, depending on one’s unique interpretation. The real truth is that if you don’t like the way your life is going, change your direction. Don’t try changing someone else’s direction. What is obvious is that most of us can it to having certain behaviors that are unnecessary or inefficient, but we still seem to reuse our arsenal of reactions. Stubborn persistence or childhood fears can become adult routines or uncertainties. These traits can be exhibited by differences in posture, manners, or facial expressions when logic escapes us. One of the hallmarks of an adult is the ability to hold down a job, but an adult must also be able to work with others to solve problems. Realistically, it’s time for some older kids in Washington, DC, to get along! They are not solving pressing problems; they are bickering and drawing lines in the sand. What maturity requires is independence as its presence creates balance in one’s personality. One especially needs to attain a balance between work and play, drama and maturity, and fantasy and reality. In this, we gain objectivity and an ability to listen to others without being defensive. Only well-developed communication skills will bring balance to the one-sided partisanship and politically charged, childish crusades of DC and Hollowood. An important function of growing up is learning to control our behaviors and act according to more competent levels of interaction. This includes the

development of the leadership traits I spoke of earlier in the book. Children need to develop reliability, sincerity, organization, adaptability, objective relationships, fact-based life interpretations, and independent thought. In short, I see a pattern of some adults regressing back to behaviors that are not up to the task of managing a government as important as ours! Children can shine a light of innocence on our turmoil and even on our own personal histories and uncertainties. They can bring great joy and satisfaction to our lives, but they can also arouse in us a unique irritation that leaves us questioning our sanity at times. I suppose that’s how I’m feeling right now. I’ve lost my patience with those little cookie crunchers in Washington, DC, and Hollowood! Adolescents form cliques when they interact with larger crowds. This act helps them practice socializing and helps them gain familiarity and confidence. I think, however, the average age of politicians is well beyond high-school age, and yet I see that they too prefer forming cliques before they handle the challenges of their trade. That is scary! The truth is that we humans have one thing in common: Each of us may carry some of the genetic code of our ancestors, but we all go through a process of development that depends largely on our family of origin, our friends and neighbors, our educators, our clergy , and our society. But growing up isn’t the same as developing into a person who can think in a crisis or during situations that demand objectivity. Most societies measure maturity by chronological junctures as opposed to abilities. When we are eighteen, we have a new set of expectations, and when we are twenty-one, we have another set of expectations, and this goes on and on. We usually refer to it as maturity, but I don’t really like that word because it is often misunderstood. “Maturity involves differentiating between information and understanding. There is often an assumed equation that the term adult constitutes a mature person. Many people play the role of adult, while living secretly with uncertainties about themselves. The problem being, the more someone acts their role or roles, the less mature they can be. Maturation then is facilitating the completion of our personality. This involves an integration process whereby the whole, the Gestalt, becomes rational and harmonious. Rational meaning being able to distinguish between self and others (set boundaries), and be able to integrate information into a functional and healthy identity” (Fritz Perls).

Again, adult interactions and relationships are greatly influenced by childhood experiences. As we do this thing called mature, we learn healthy boundaries so that we know what’s safe, what’s healthy, what’s appropriate, and what isn’t! Our boundaries help define us and allow us to develop unique personalities. It is critical for one’s sense of self to develop through assimilating the qualities of their family, community, and culture into their psyche (integrity) but doing it in a way that they remain as an individual. Again, personal boundaries ensure that we know where we end and where others begin—not just physically but also emotionally and psychologically. The constant expending of energy and ability in a fruitless and negative or destructive way leads to burnout. Feelings of loss of control and an inability to cope, along with constant frustration, overwhelm most humans. Now try to see politicians, entertainers, movie actors, comedians, and sports figures as simply human—not as the models of perfection that some people think they are. They too make errors in judgment, and they, like everyone else, had obstacles to growth, so their decisions can be based on faulty logic. A healthy developmental process is learned within the family and community. It is literally about learning to make choices that will assist one to mature and become a productive/creative member of a society. Children need leadership as they learn to make moral and efficient choices rather than merely following misguided friends and learning to remain in poverty. Youngsters need to learn that choices come with consequences—some good and some not so good. Thus, setting an example for our youth is critical, and getting them to school and away from gangs is therefore paramount. This requires discipline, and if parents aren’t disciplined, then their children are in for some serious problems. Young children are Xerox machines! They duplicate what they see and hear—period! If you want your child to smoke, then you should smoke. If you want your child to be obese, then you should be obese. If you want your child to be a bigot, then you should be a bigot. Families are like mobiles. If a child’s mobile has butterflies hanging on it and you flick one, they will all move or quiver or maybe even spin out of control, depending on how much strength was applied. In a family mobile, if one member continues to be confused, everyone else shares in the confusion. If one family member is emotionally hurt or insulted, everyone else feels the pain, disorientation, or embarrassment to some degree. If one family member is angry, everyone else feels the negative energy. We can’t live in close physical proximity

without having some overlapping feelings or uncertainty when communications break down. If I accept a drug and crime mentality, I would surely have to accept the consequences of it as well, but in many poverty pockets, the opposite is true. Some youth see gangs as surrogate families and never really learn how to make healthy choices or pursue an education. They don’t learn important concepts like using incentives and personal commitment to achieve in life. People of all communities are born with abilities, but not all people are born with opportunity. So, are we responsible to intervene and help those less fortunate? Let’s say that we are. How then can we ensure that all the money going into poverty pockets will be used to provide a better education—to teach parents how to deal with wayward kids and ensure that they stay in school? We obviously haven’t done a good job of that because the problems remain even after the government threw trillions of dollars at inefficient programs. Poverty and high crime rates remain in certain areas. Education is obviously the answer; however, the education system of America’s poverty pockets is inferior to the ones found in other communities because there is no local commerce. Therefore, there is not enough tax revenues for the schools. What many social programs do is create attitudes about entitlement without work ethic. Couple these with high crime rates and gang activity, and these communities will loiter in disarray and recession. Those living on the outside or on the fringes of these communities have to wonder how much more money needs to be committed to this enterprise while very little changes. There are obvious reasons why these communities aren’t succeeding, and one is a long-standing history of uneducated families and gangs holding their youth back. Now the socialist movement in this country doesn’t want to it this because these communities are one of their important voting blocs. The socialist movement has done little to bring more productivity to these areas. People in poverty districts should be asking this question: Have we really been helped in ways that matter? Appropriate education, higher standard of living, job opportunity, and better businesses? When I drive through or read about these communities, I see little or no change, and I see Ferguson, Missouri, reeling

from the aftermath of violence and destruction. It was a debacle encouraged by the media. A lot of social programs are like a parade that went by and threw candy, cheap sunglasses, and cell phones at the crowds. What else? Life should be about achieving personal growth and financial freedom, which happens only if self-exploration and self-efficacy are engaged by the child within —the adventurer. Unfortunately, most people try to fit themselves into societal, family, or cultural molds and make critical compromises. “Only if we expand and reformulate our view of what counts as human intellect will we be able to devise more appropriate ways of assessing it and more effective ways of educating it. Many different forms of intelligence are not measured by IQ testing” (Gardner). We all think that we are civilized because we have all these technological and educational advantages, but we are actually still lacking in the area of social development. One of the worst ideas that humans formulated was the confiscation of someone else’s independence! And this is the intention of socialism. The most injurious example is welfare, which was brought on by socialist thinking. Without internal motivation, those people have no efficacy and no opportunity to learn life lessons. These people are dead to life because their minds lust over what the industrious have while their reason and efficacy have become paralyzed! This is the definition of a zombie! Even in prosperous families, I see parents who vicariously adorn their sons with the trappings of honor that the sons have yet to earn. The son’s dignity has been sequestered because his own true self has not yet had the opportunity to achieve. His parents did for him the things that he needed to do for himself, so he became overly dependent, and his personal efficacy lay dormant. His parents basked in their image of him, not in his achievements. Here’s the bottom line: Making another person overly dependent is a big error as it interferes with overall development! It inhibits achievement. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a doting parent or an incompetent government that is making the mistake. See if this makes sense: A man has a wife and three children. The wife and kids never got jobs, and they all survive on his income. Then he has to retire. Their

income has been reduced to a third of what it was. If the kids don’t become independent, how are they going to survive on that income? Now multiply that by millions of families! And socialists want to implement more of this folly? The outcome of most social problems can be traced to developmental indicators, such as drug use, alcohol abuse, family-member abuses and incest, neglect, and poor leadership at home or a lack of leadership at home. If a child is heavily influenced by drug use or a parent is heavily influenced by alcohol abuse, drug abuse, or other mental-health issues like depression or personality disruption, the child’s development will be delayed. The parent’s development will also be delayed psychologically, emotionally, and socially. None of them underwent the required developmental stages that I will outline in a few paragraphs. The real issue is that these people are in the role of parent or adult but do not have the requisite skill to be effective or efficient even if they refer to themselves as parents or grown-ups. There is, of course, a difference. While puerile implies that some adults display the immature or undeveloped qualities or behaviors of a child, adolescence refers to the period between puberty and maturity. This period is characterized by social awkwardness or emotional instability. Misguided enthusiasm can be a hallmark of each category. Both of these can become the breeding grounds for fanatics and criminals if society chooses to remain unaware of the outcomes of vital stages of development. “Zealot implies extreme or excessive devotion to a cause or vehement activity in its . Fanatic suggests the unreasonable overzealousness of one who goes to any length to maintain or carry out his or her beliefs” (Dictionary of Synonyms). These are the people that some policrats have turned loose on society—underdeveloped characters who believe they are right and the rest of us are uneducated and unaware. I need to be clear on this issue: There are those with certain diagnoses who are legitimately in need of long-term mental-health care, and we are obliged to take care of the less fortunate. As a society, we are also responsible for making sure that those who would do harm are institutionalized so as to secure the safety of others. There is a formula that indicates a more accurate degree of development in someone who has had their growth delayed. An example would be someone who

began using chemicals to deal with the challenges and confusions of life at age twelve. That person became addicted or affected by other setbacks and didn’t initiate recovery (growth) until age thirty-two. Deduct the age of onset, twelve, from thirty-two, the declared or assumed adult age. You get twenty. Twenty years of drug use or family abuse or other mental-health issues equates to a deceleration of interpersonal growth. This lack of life-skills development, coupled with family disruption and/or gang involvement, causes a retarding by an equation of two-thirds, so we have to accept that the development was actually one-third of what it could have been had the person not been acting as their own pharmacist for twenty years or had not been gangbanging or had not been subjected to parental mental-health issues or, worse, coddled by a parent so much that they got stuck in a state of dependency. So one-third of twenty is 6.3 years. Add twelve and you get 18.3 years—the actual developmental age. The pretense of knowledge is one of the hallmarks of delayed growth and many teens who think they are already grown-up. The same holds true for kids who did not learn healthy boundaries. Recently, I saw articles on the Internet regarding young males in our culture who are in crisis. I say to these, “Yes! Exactly!” That’s my whole point, and that’s why so many of our youth are vulnerable to socialist dogma. It promises “wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, commerce without morality, science without humanity, politics without principles” (Gandhi). When I was a mental-health specialist, I did not anticipate that I would discover how many people lived pretend lives—fantasy lives—merely because they weren’t able to become the characters that their potentials could create. This happened because they weren’t able to discover their capabilities, their Godgiven talents, and their real values. Their abilities would have shown the world who and what they actually were. The point is this: Many kids aren’t getting certain life experiences that are critical to everyone’s advancement. I’m making a point regarding the deficiency of development for young people to have experiences that will assist them in self-discovery and prepare them for future challenges.

I am incredibly disheartened whenever I see report of a young person who took military-grade weapons to their school and killed their classmates! It staggers me! Bewilders me! But it does not confuse me because I realize what’s happening. These youngsters are being singled out and regarded as outsiders, weirdos, geeks, or worse, antisocial entities. Once they have withdrawn into themselves, they have no one to use as a prototype for personal growth. Most likely, they missed an important development chapter that includes play, which involves important social-skill building. Their dissonance then becomes a silent madness that shocks us all once they decide to act on their wrath-filled fantasies. They are desperate for belonging, and negative attention is better than no attention at all! And I’m not excusing violent behavior! I’m just making a point! Many dispossessed kids are overlooked until they act out in defiance. Sure, kids who were similar to them already existed when I was growing up; however, they did not consider killing and did not have access to military-grade weapons! These misfits are now the wards of communities that do not know how to deal with them. Unfortunately, there are no laws that can intervene in the life of a potential criminal; however, there are programs that can intervene if the communities such programs and insist that those with inadequate parenting skills are brought up to speed ASAP! So, the real question needs to be this: How do we keep weapons out of the hands of immature, irresponsible persons? As for total disarmament, we need to ask, what do we do when negotiations break down between nations? History gives us thousands of examples as to how some lunatics started wars that could only be fought with weapons. Some advocate that assault weapons should only be authorized for military use. Having participated in combat, I personally agree; however, that doesn’t make my opinion any stronger than the opinion of someone who advocates for semiautomatic-weapon ownership. This problem is more emotionally charged than other political issues; therefore, certain facts have been overlooked. Actually, the rate of gun use with crime is exceptional for a country of 330 million people, and it is only involved in about 1 to 2 percent of our nation’s homicides. And the majority of these crimes occur in the poverty pockets of large cities.

The CDC reported that there were more than 88,000 deaths due to alcoholrelated causes last year, including 9,967 traffic fatalities and 70,000 deaths due to drug overdoses. The latest FBI crime statistics suggested that 10,982 Americans were killed by firearms, and many of those probably involved alcohol, drugs, or poverty areas. Less than 2 percent of gun crimes ed for these statistics. Given this data, perhaps politicians can better develop solutions and cease with the drama. It’s time to pay more attention to our fellow man lest we fall victim to their misconduct. And it’s time to review our social opinions regarding how we educate our children. We need to concentrate more on our efforts to attend to children—even if they aren’t ours. And if a specific family or parent fails, we need to ensure that those left behind are identified and brought to the appropriate services before they spill the blood of innocents in order to make a statement regarding their dissatisfaction. This is why socialism seems to be a prescription for our social problems. It promises equality; however, it does not go into detail on how it will solve these dilemmas, but the lip service that politicians pay is enough to garner votes when people become frustrated enough just before election time. The only way we are going to assist people with shortcomings is by insisting that they mature into their potentials and become able to and for themselves. And that’s the task of a parent, but some households are obviously missing parental guidance, and according to Transactional Analysis, this is due to the developmental delays of inexperienced parents. Not responding appropriately to a child’s misbehavior is tragic! Some children do not do well in school or in their community because of a lack of discipline. It comes down to a lack of respect and extremely poor personal boundaries. So, what are the developmental phases or steps? According to Eric Erikson, they are as follows: The first stage begins as the mother acts in a loving and consistent way. Because of this, the infant is likely to develop a sense of basic trust. The infant’s first social achievement is his or her eventual willingness to let the mother out of his or her sight without becoming unduly anxious on the basis of an inner certainty

that believes she will return to feed and care for the infant again. Such certainty provides the rudiments of an ego identity because it depends on the infant’s recognition that people are trustworthy. Erikson’s second stage occurs during the second and third years of life. During this period, the child’s muscles begin to mature, and he or she starts to learn how to exercise control over them. This is the period during which toilet training occurs in our society. Erikson pointed out that intense conflicts over whether to hold on or let go do not arise in all societies. A sense of autonomy and selfcontrol is engendered if parents guide their children’s behavior gradually and firmly. The third stage depends on the previous stage’s result. If the resolution of conflict in the previous stage had been successful, children now feel that they are individuals in their own right. During this stage, their initiative is sparked, and they must find out the kinds of people they may become. They engage in play and other experimental activities with their peers. Language becomes refined. They may ask incessant questions. Keep in mind that play is a child’s rehearsal for the coming stages of development. During the “industry versus inferiority” stage, there is a lull in sexual desires and feelings, and children turn from home to school life, whether school is a jungle, a classroom, or a field. It is a period of learning new skills and of making things. Children develop a sense of industry; this means that they learn how to complete jobs. Teachers become important in their lives because they introduce them to the technology of their culture. At this stage, children will begin to reveal their natural, inherent, and unique talents. This stage should occur from age 13 through 19. Individuals who have adequately resolved the conflict inherent in prior stages bring into adolescence a growing sense of self-identity. The parents have made their child feel that he or she is somebody. The young person knows that they are an integral part of the family, and they also have a budding sense of independence and personal efficacy. They recognize their own competence, take initiative, and are able to see a variety of tasks through to completion. Having established a stable self-identity during adolescence, a healthy young adult is able to enter an intimate relationship with another, and he or she is eager and ready to strengthen their personal identity. These adults seek to commit

themselves to partnerships, and they have the strength to abide by such commitments even when significant compromises are necessary. Healthy adults have a strong self-identity and mature relationships with others. At this stage, generativity involves the process of establishing and/or enhancing a creative and productive career and of being concerned with ensuring the wellbeing of the next generation. Stagnation brings on a lack of productivity, boredom, and no interpersonal improvement. As we develop, we usually mature in three specific areas. The intellectual self is based on how you feel about your thinking and reasoning abilities and academic performance. A thinking and reasoning self is a reflection of how well a person can think under pressure, solve problems, use wit, and think creatively. The physical self is based on how you feel about your body type, your face and head, and your physical skills and talents. Body image is based on the you have received about the importance of your body. Too often it is shaped by the media or others portrayals of a perfect appearance, Hollowood and female magazines are examples. The social self is based on how worthy you feel in your friendships and the friends you have. The worth you feel is a deeply philosophical conviction; you must believe that you are a good person that your friends can and should trust. It is also based on how you feel toward your own friends. This is where gang are misled and betrayed by a false sense of belonging. The development and maintenance of self-esteem is critical and includes the following:

• Internally directed behavior • Responsible risk-taking • Correcting the patterns of self-defeating behavior • Sense of self-efficacy

• Enhancing self-worth

A lot of the confusion that people experience is caused by having a lack of knowledge on this subject. These are the cornerstones of our overall self-worth. A combination of these three self-perceptions becomes self-confidence, or a lack thereof. Without a well-rounded education, talents will most likely not blossom. And if only one sense of self is the impetus for confidence, the person will become overly reliant on that attribute. Professional athletes who only have physical prowess may find themselves unhappy or unfulfilled even though they make a lot of money. Physically attractive people who take pride only in their appearance likewise will have difficulties with things such as an intimate relationship. Those who take pride only in their mental competence will also lack self-worth in the other areas of their lives. Feeling good about one’s appearance is great, and feeling good about one’s social self is great, but the intellectual self has to the team so that a whole person is made. Negative or destructive thinking can leave us wanting or confused even if we look good and seem to have self-esteem. Again, family and cultural bylaws that are unhealthy form a mentality that seems to be acceptable or predictable but actually destroys any opportunity for new learning or a more fulfilling life. Stress describes the wear and tear on our bodies and minds as we experience life and adjust to a continually changing environment. It creates physical and emotional effects and can therefore create positive or negative feelings. As a positive influence, eustress becomes creativity, which helps compel us to action; it can result in a new awareness or a new perspective. With the death of a loved one, a forfeiture of money or affection, a job loss, or a new or failing relationship, the feeling of stress as we readjust is obvious. We encounter different circumstances, so stress will help or hinder us depending on how we react to differing situations. As a negative influence, distress can result in feelings of distrust, rejection, anger, and depression, which in turn can lead to one’s surrendering to the influences of the environment and even to the antagonists who try to corrupt others (misery loves company). This is what causes divisiveness!

There are numerous young adults in our communities who are already preparing for a life of crime and have given up on competing for an education or a career that could allow them to contribute to society and live among their fellows without cunning, deceit, and thievery. Some of these kids are already involved in criminal activities or are susceptible to becoming gang . They in order secure protection against rival gangs or merely being attacked because they live in neighborhoods infested with bullies. Consequently, these children fail to develop adequate interpersonal, socializing, and communication skills, as well as an academic foundation that would allow them to adequately respond to the challenges of a life outside their neighborhoods and their peer affiliations. The most unfortunate by-product of this disadvantaged life is a resulting lack of moral reasoning! Some of the inmates in our overcrowded prisons have, among other crimes, sold these kids illegal drugs, weapons, and ammunition, which are used to keep young people captive in a cycle of madness that will ensure them a place in an overcrowded prison at some time in the future. Then they too can continue this senseless and destructive cycle. And if it costs too much money now to keep people locked up and lesser felons are let go without rehabilitation, you can look forward to a future filled with much more havoc and a higher price tag that still won’t bring about adequate change. And if gangs from other countries continue to be sheltered by outdated laws and bamboozling politicians, we are going to be in more trouble. As I review social problems, one of the most glaring for all cultures for centuries has been this: How do we hold certain people able for their ignorance? Or more accurately, how do we hold them able for what they have not yet learned? Most people are met by challenges in this life, but not everyone learns how to use these challenges as opportunities for growth. Humans will do just about anything to avoid pain and preserve a sense of self and often subconsciously use challenges to develop emotional defenses instead of learning objectivity and initiative. This is why some people become opinionated and are often stuck with a mind-set that has become inefficient and even dangerous. We must learn to restructure our thinking, especially when our sense of identity can be attributed to an environment that isn’t really productive or nourishing, especially a surrogate family such as a gang. How do we, as a culture, influence the less educated to move beyond their opinions and begin to learn new

strategies so they can achieve better outcomes? “Sometimes people change not because they see the light but because they feel the heat” (John Welwood). Our taxpayer-funded programs need to be better managed and focus on giving the less fortunate a different kind of education with avenues for colleges and trade schools while no longer accepting excuses and a learned helplessness mentality. Unfortunately, too many children are born into conditions that overwhelm their humanity and their natural talents, so they do not develop the character traits they need to identify and pursue opportunities. As a culture, I believe we are duty bound to assist these less fortunate individuals; however, we must not adopt them for their lifetimes. That tells them that they are less competent than everyone else. And a plan needs to be implemented immediately lest more of our youth become criminals. To our politicos who continue to suggest dissent and disunity, I say this, “It’s too late to remind yourself that you should have drained the swamp when you’re already up to your ass in alligators” (Anonymous). What the media, policrats, socialists, and industrialists fail to understand is this: “The work is for the worker not the worker for the work.” A person’s unique talents will dictate whether they will achieve with their work efforts or bear no fruit for their trade or family. Bees do not toil; they flit from hive to pollen and back for the love of making honey. And the flowers give love to the bees with their nectar because nature intends this. They orchestrate their existence and purpose without the interference of politics, lawyers, unions, media outlets, CEOs, or revolutionaries. The error that all these groups make is they do not respect individual differences. We are all special. Each of us has a unique skill set and combination of talents or intellectual differences that must be recognized and encouraged. Until people come to understand their own uniqueness and abilities, they will be the victims of an ongoing struggle between sociopolitical, agenda-driven alliances that merely want to gain control over the masses. They are out of touch with nature and are therefore driven by something other than nourishing, productive motives. Again, thinking from the heart is the only way to genuine satisfaction. The socialists were only partially right when they said that our country was run by greedy capitalists because many of them brought prosperity to America. We

now have a nation whose aid has reached across the globe. And even though our government and commerce are imperfect, we manage to enjoy a lifestyle that others flock to. And I am not defending those who have taken advantage of others. I am trying to initiate some balance to this equation of one-side-againstanother, political, nonsensical embarrassments.

Chapter 10

Problem Resolution

Problem resolution, not revolution, calls for us to change our dialogues— especially our internal conversations (the ones we have with ourselves). The message “I want” needs to be eliminated. Stop saying “I want” and start saying “I choose.” If we go through life wanting, the only thing we will get is more desire. There will be no outcomes—no changes! When we choose, we create new avenues that we can use to explore how we can get what we want. Wanting without effort will simply produce more wanting. What’s needed is a goal or a plan. The difficulty with wishing and desiring is this: We don’t produce outcomes. Then we see others who have more, but we don’t understand why. It’s easy to get disappointed, confused, and even jealous. Then it’s easy to listen to those who promise us that they will get us what we want. The only real solution is to change our own thoughts about a setback or an obstacle and take charge of our own destinies. Choose another mental path or a different attitude and begin to research options. The effect that this adjustment brings leads to changes in one’s mood and mind-set. This is how someone can build confidence. You have no idea how many things you tell your brain that are not accurate. And as you repeat these false ideas, the brain stores them away like you are using the Save option in a Word document. Eventually, all the ideas that are stored become your reality! The stored words and phrases—such as “I want,” “I hate,” “It won’t work,” and “I’m always a loser”—nurture and sustain a mind-set, not an opportunity. It is not a vision of success but a vision of failure. You have literally created wantonness, neediness, and uncertainty, which lead a person down the path of bankruptcy, not success. And every time you’re confused about a subject, your brain will give you the same answers. We all create our own experiences and our children’s experiences through mentoring with our brains, so programming is of the utmost importance, and the earlier we begin, the easier it will be to learn a life of progress even in the face of setbacks.

We program either positive outcomes or negative outcomes. Too many people believe that success is achieved via programming against others or against logic. Please consider the fact that positive outcomes arrive on the eve of positive thinking! Even if you are a politician! Esteem, accomplishment, and self-realization are essential in most cultures. Our culture gives us many reasons to excel, to succeed, to overcome obstacles, to complete a task, and to master challenges. These responses become energized by internal motivation. As is true of all motives in any culture, learning to master or direct our lives is not limited to parental conditioning but is increased by many other factors throughout life. Socialist doctrine discourages independent thinking and motivation and therefore does not allow personal growth. So, don’t be fooled by false promises. Too often we take the path of least resistance because it is more familiar and therefore gives us a sense of comfort. But that familiar direction doesn’t give us the opportunity to learn something new or have a new adventure. It doesn’t allow us to expand our horizons. A lot of our habits and behaviors become safety nets. They meet the allimportant need for security, but over time, they can become old, worn paths that get in the way of change. When a person is functioning primarily for security, that is an indication that the person has no self-consciousness or awareness of their mental processes, like the centipede whose movements were paralyzed when it became aware of each of its legs. Self-assessments are then key elements for change and growth. Because our past experiences greatly influence what we understand or do not understand, we tend to use old solutions that fit our pattern of thinking and neglect the unfamiliar. But the avoidance of conflicts or new understandings is not going to make life’s challenges go away. “Maturity involves differentiating between information and understanding. There is often an assumed equation that the term adult constitutes a mature person. Many people play the role of adult, while living secretly with uncertainties about themselves. The problem being, the more someone acts their role or roles, the less mature they can be. Maturation then is facilitating the completion of our personality. This involves an integration process whereby the

whole, the Gestalt, becomes rational and harmonious. Rational meaning being able to distinguish between self and others (set boundaries), and be able to integrate information into a functional and healthy identity” (Perls). Having said this, I will go back to Abraham Maslow’s work, his hierarchy of needs, as his concept is as close to explaining human motivation as any and can be understood by everyone. It’s called a hierarchy because we need to learn from very early years to meet needs in appropriate, healthy, efficient ways or else we will develop behavior patterns that are repetitive and never really satisfy basic needs, safety needs, love needs, self-esteem needs, etc. And if we develop patterns that are inefficient or unhealthy, we cannot attain self-actualization. We can only do that when each of us has a core sense of a healthy self—the sum of the parts! We need a foundation of love before we can build the third foundation, which is self-worth, and that foundation needs to be in place so that we can gain selfdetermination, which we need to have in order to build the next foundation. That foundation is self-exploration, which involves fulfilling ourselves with experiences, wisdom, and determination. The primary reason for most psychotherapy is cognitive dissonance (conflicting thoughts), which is normally brought on by people not knowing the difference between appetites and needs and a false perception that makes one believe that they do not have the freedom to obtain what they want. These people think they have little or no control over their own feelings or destinies and let distractions lead them away from or press against their conscience—the voice within. We never grow (advance), emotionally, psychologically, or developmentally by remaining inactive, inert, or idle. Although being idle can give us a sense of security, it is a false sense of safety that in time becomes lassie affair (sluggishness), and embezzles motivation. Esteem does not progress without challenge (experimentation and contests), and self-actualizing will not be the gift that is our inheritance without self-discovery. Our fundamental nature becomes drained by carelessness as a lack of physical exercise becomes lethargy. “The person grows by action. There is no other way to grow. The person always initiates their own growth. Potential is discovered only in action. Each new discovery enriches the person. Growth results in a sense of self-worth. Healthy self-worth brings with it a desire to risk the discovery of more esteem through action. Fulfillment and competency bring joy!” (Perls).

Imagine that your life is like a tall building and its windows represent your experiences. For each unfortunate encounter, a window goes dark. Its light has gone out. How many lights remain alive? How do the dark windows affect your overall existence? Can you bring light to your own darkness again? This question is important because the entire field of helping others get over the deficits of personal histories revolves around this issue. Therapists try to help people revisit the darkened rooms and replace the bulbs, so to speak. When the lights start going back on, there is awareness and healing and renewed confidence. They are the unlit parts of us that need new bulbs. Personal growth can be limited by the following:

• Negative influences from past experiences and the resulting habits that give us unproductive, repetitive behaviors • Social influences and group pressure that often operate against our own taste and judgment • Inner defenses that keep us out of touch with ourselves. Because selfactualization is at the top of the pyramid, it is the need that vacillates the most because it is easily inhibited by frustration or more basic needs.

• Most people avoid self-knowledge, which is at the heart of the process of selfactualization, and are afraid of the changes in self-esteem and self-image that self-knowledge brings. • Intimate individuals have deep relationships with male and female friends and are involved in enduring, committed, faithful heterosexual relationships. • Preintimate individuals also have close emotional ties to others but are ambivalent about committing themselves to enduring love relationships. • Stereotyped individuals have many relationships, but they are superficial and utilitarian and lack closeness and commitment. • Pseudointimate individuals, like stereotyped people, form relationships that

lack depth; unlike stereotyped people, however, they do enter enduring commitments. • Merger individuals in committed relationships become absorbed in the relationship at the expense of their own autonomy and sense of self. These affairs are characterized by excessive dependency and enmeshment (Erikson).

What is needed is for all of us to find ways to educate ourselves so as to make positive changes that bring on more health and happiness. Success is not a mystery, it is a process whereby we develop a mental habit which will predict that our conversations with ourselves will determine whether we are exercising efficient thinking. In the field of psychology there is a school of thought referred to as cognitive restructuring. Basically, it means we teach our brain to think differently by reforming old thoughts into positive or more useful ones. We basically teach ourselves to record over less useful ideas and replace them with thoughts that bring harmony, success, and a more efficient approach to problem solving. This process is not accomplished by manipulating the chemical actions of the brain but rather, by rewiring what are called dendrites. It is not a quick fix and so, is a more time-consuming process which some Americans find tedious. It’s more like physical training, if we want our muscles to be stronger or we want to lose weight, we begin a training process and stick to it! And, if we truly want positive change, it’s the only route to success. It requires determination and dedication. One simple method is to pretend. In other words, pretend you are no longer helpless. Pretend you are a successful person. Pretend you are employed at a job you love. Pretend everyone around you thinks you are intelligent and funny. Sometimes it’s as easy as telling yourself I can instead of I can’t. Now, continue pretending until you have convinced yourself that what you are imagining can be real.

Chapter 11

Positive Outcomes

“But where was I to start? The world is so vast. I shall start with the country I know best, my own. But my country too is very large. I had better start with my town. But my town too is large. I had better start with my street. No, my home. No, my family. Never mind, I shall start with myself” (Elie Wiesel). What seems to be so deliberately perplexing, wearisome, and vexing for many is the fact that we all choose and create our own destinies. We are not always conscious of this fact; however, we think ourselves into and out of most of the situations that we encounter. Again, we often use old patterns of thought that are no longer efficient, but we nevertheless make decisions every day that lead us into the future. Some liberals will cringe at this truth: It is obvious that if one changes or readjusts their thinking and motives, they can become more successful. Restructuring one’s thoughts is not as difficult as some believe. And a shift in consciousness is exactly what is needed by those who do not know how to move forward in the pursuit of their dreams. This is why being creative is critical to living a life of fulfillment. Understanding oneself and manifesting one’s talents need a solo journey. This is a personal commitment that no one else should interfere with. And if this transformation can take hold, no one will need socialists or their worn-out, misguided fabrications. We don’t need to raise taxes or levy more taxes on the rich to ensure people aren’t left behind on the road to success! Negative thoughts are merely mental viruses. They are not something that one should fear or be ashamed of; rather, they are to be reckoned with internally. You can overcome them by yourself because in this case, your medicine is your heart. Be patient, nourish yourself, and take your control back.

In the introduction of the book, I referred to the voice of reason. I believe we all have one, and it s for what we call morality or good judgment. While making decisions across our life spans, we often experience consequences that we feel and then often regret because of disappointment, fear, hurt feelings, etc. We suffer and then try to understand or even rationalize why we are miserable or in a state of disarray. , if you don’t believe that you can overcome your challenges, they will overcome you! Being unfulfilled is usually the consequence of previous choices. And this includes much of our pain and suffering. What if I told you that most of our troubles are caused by inefficient behaviors and thinking? It’s all an inside job. Our choices determine most of our outcomes. We can make efficient choices or inefficient choices. Efficient choices result in us meeting needs in healthy, productive ways while inefficient choices result in distress and sometimes disaster! I wondered if my life—or anyone’s, for that matter—resulted from happenstance. Or did we arrive at where we are through thinking and planning? The answer is obvious: Everyone plans or at least dreams and hopes. Those who develop strategies and goals and employ momentum achieve some degree of success. So, why do so many people assume that our characters continue to strive, survive, and even change without a plan? The universe didn’t come about through chance occurrence, and to dismiss its wonder and greatness or to deny some aspect of creation is the foulest kind of stupidity. And we did not evolve without a plan either. But in order for us to gain momentum, we need adequate listening skills. If we can’t communicate well with our environment, we will not succeed. “Listen to all the conversations of our world, between nations as well as those between couples. They are for the most part dialogues of the deaf” (Tournier). Conversation breakdowns are caused by a great number of issues, but there are certain underlying, undiscussed detractors that can be recognized and dealt with. This will give us more personal control and less heartache or psychache.

• Underlying issues are expectations about how decisions and control will be shared or not shared.

• Underlying caring issues are expectations about how one is to be loved. • Underlying recognition issues are expectations about how one’s partner should respond to who they are and what they do. • Underlying commitment issues are expectations about how long a relationship should continue and, most importantly, about safety from abandonment. • Underlying integrity issues are expectations about being trusted and respected.

“Underneath all of these expectations are core expectations about acceptance by your partner or parent or boss or friend. An issue can’t become disruptive unless one or more of these needs are overlooked” (Unknown). When an underlying caring, recognition, commitment, integrity, acceptance, or security concern gets triggered, it usually isn’t recognized through our conscious thinking. It is announced by a feeling—either frustration or disappointment, which is mild anger. That’s the way confusion works. When the reason for the emotion isn’t recognized, communication takes an ugly turn, and the dramas begin. If you can develop dialogues around these needs, your dramas will fade. Certainty and security will accompany love and understanding, and the ion that was once your ally will return if you were ionate in the beginning. Carl Rogers did extensive studies and work on this issue and was able to help a lot of people adjust their life directions for the better. There are two fundamental communication styles that can end dissatisfaction and disappointment. One is “I” statements—not “You piss me off” or “You need to change” but “I am allowing myself to get angry and disappointed” and “I am contributing to the drama.” The beauty of saying I instead of you is that it allows us to maintain control. If I keep saying you, I’m literally giving control away with every breath, but when I say I, the control remains with me—“I’m allowing myself to get angry,” not “You make me angry.” This is why arguments spiral out of control. The other is reflective listening—the ability to repeat the other person’s ideas and feelings until they feel respected, heard, and understood. And this doesn’t mean that we have to change our position on an issue. It just means that we must

show some respect! If you look at the disarray in politics and at universities today, you will instantly recognize that some people aren’t listening! Many just want to fight or get their way, as would a child craving candy or more playtime! The only means to achieving true success is to focus on self! And the only way to do that is to make “I” statements, for that gives us the internal control we need to create change. Each person can speak only after they have first restated the other person’s ideas and feelings accurately and to that person’s satisfaction. The difference between communicating and talking is this: Communicating is a mutual exchange of ideas and feelings. It is not a debate. Communication is sharing ideas, feelings, values, dreams, hopes, plans, and decisions. It’s not a strategy to control or manipulate someone else. That is not age appropriate. It is the maneuvering of a child. But the human mind is usually busy with its own agendas and believes that others are thinking the same thoughts! So, frustration arises when someone’s brain thinks, “I think you’re thinking …” In other words, the brain assumes it knows what others are thinking without clarifying anything and by making assumptions, and this is called projection. To accent the importance of efficient communication skills, I’ll use current politics as an example of how deficit interactions and conversations can impact all of us even though we are not even present at high-level meetings. When politicians can’t get it right, we all suffer. Why is there more resistance and reactionary intensity between some politicians instead of cooperation and creativity? They are supposed to set an example and show competence, especially regarding the resolving of major differences and the completion of objectives that facilitate positive changes for the American people. Just as an underdeveloped parental figure can divide a family, some politicians have divided us as a nation. Some parents are not educated enough to manage the tasks of parenting, but our supposed leaders are educated! So, why the incompetence? Our families and cultures create our opinions. Some are useful, while others are not. But they become examples for adulthood. Our future is influenced, then,

both directly by what our parents said and indirectly by what we observed. So, we do not embrace a new encounter, such as a marriage, with a tabula rasa (blank slate)! We also develop expectations that are influenced by all the other relationships we’ve participated in. We build expectations regarding what is romantic, how to communicate, how our time should be spent, who should make the first move to make up after a fight, and so on. Television, movies, religious influences, and the things we read can also have powerful effects on our expectations. For instance, some people receive very powerful messages about what is acceptable from movies, soap operas, and daytime talk shows. Today, in our culture, television has a unanimous influence on almost everyone, but not too many people think about challenging talk-show characters. There are three sources for relational skills: family of origin, previous relationships, and social influences, which include religions and the entertainment industry. We can think in one of three places: past, present, or future. Living in the past only allows for disappointment or reminiscence. If you live in the future with dreams or unreasonable anticipation, you may create your own depression. It’s okay to plan for and prepare for the future, but fantasy, by itself, can bring disappointment. You can’t drive a car by constantly looking in the rearview mirror, so why look to the past to live today? Those who suffer from mental paralysis cannot hear beyond their own analyzing and speculating. It is interesting that a children’s rhyme echoes the truth that some find complicated or difficult.

A wise old owl sat in an oak. The more he heard, the less he spoke. The less he spoke, the more he heard. Why aren’t we like that wise old bird? —Unknown

The constant destructive buzzing of politicians and their gaggle of followers is an example of how a fear-based mentality can damage communications! People who entertain silent expectations can easily become dissatisfied if they do not verbalize their needs until frustration overcomes them. These are called unspoken expectations, and over time, they wreck many relationships. We, not others, are able for our feelings. We manufacture our emotions, which are literally e-motion, or energy in motion. Other people cannot make us angry or sad. We become angry or sad based on our interpretation of what others are doing or saying. Too often, an expectation requires someone to respond to something obscure, abstract, or undefined—not specific. These aspirations are double-edged swords because they are not only unspoken but also often unrealistic, so the cutting edge of indignity and disappointment severs a part of the essence of everyone involved. And so, over time, another unsatisfactory intellectual maneuver is implemented by the subconscious. This is when one begins to make a statement by not making it! Expecting another person to play a game I call Go Fish! “Figure out why I’m moody” or “If you loved me, you’d know”! Also, a people may be trying to punish another through the use of silence. The problem is, the person they are punishing may not be able to understand the tactic and open up a meaningful dialogue with the disgruntled person. Likewise, this affects everyone else in the home, in the family, at work, or in a social setting. Over time, this behavior destroys a relationship, and worse, children learn to use these maneuvers unintentionally through observation. , they are Xerox machines when they are young. So, the habit gets handed down from generation to generation. But I need to make this clear: Sometimes people will shut down after they experience a prolonged history of being ignored or cut off every time they try to resolve a problem through dialogue. Sometimes what we believe to be generational wisdom is counterproductive or even destructive. When people move into adulthood and form new pair bonds, these expectations and strategies for expression are used and cause disillusionment, and then the regrets begin to overshadow romance, respect, trust, and tolerance.

Clarity of expectations, then, is another key to communication, but if people maintain personal agendas and refuse to discuss the issues, they become a nuisance to progress. And this includes stubborn politicians. Interdependence is the next key to success or survival. Many people confuse dependence with it and expect others to take care of them or become emotionally entangled in a relationship (they don’t know where they end and their partner begins). Again, it’s called enmeshment. Elevated expectations that came from childhood experiences or previous relationships usually destroy a new opportunity. And spoiling a child is dangerous, but the most dangerous character is the one that spoils itself because it believes that its parents didn’t do a good-enough job. Those who are overly dependent do not have self-esteem; rather, they have other esteem and can be needy and clingy and make themselves appear childish. These folks don’t know the difference between internal motivation and external motivation. So they have to have someone else push them to get anything done. Anytime someone expects you to do things for them that they could do for themselves, speak for yourself. Tell them how you feel and that there’s a problem! The continuum here involves independence or autonomy on one end and dependence on the other—autonomy versus clinginess and neediness. , the objective is interdependence. Servitude is not love; neither is clinginess! Those are childlike traits. Many people don’t know the difference between hunger and anxiety; these people believe they can eat, drink, sexually furrow, or sleep their way back to happiness or safety! Their essence has been transformed into a protective shield that hides the disappointments and frustration. In our culture, it’s not okay to explode in anger, so too many people have to go about being ornamental on the outside while being lonely, depressed, and unfulfilled on the inside. “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured” (Mark Twain). Interestingly, some characters exit a disagreement feeling as though they won a battle that was being waged but only in their own head while others were totally unaware of the war! There is a mentality that suggests that many women get married thinking they are going to change their husbands and many men get

married believing their wives will never change. That’s an example of a thing that is unrealistic. Politicians and socialists often suffer the same fate because of inefficient communications and unrealistic expectations. Our elected persons and those who run for political office are entrusted with our future, but they often experience the same confusions and misunderstandings as everyone else. It’s too bad; we deserve more given that they pretend to have a certain wisdom that sets them above the average citizen. Their desire to govern should not be confused with a desire to control. But then most politicians don’t want to go with the flow; they want to control the flow! “Once we through the door of experience we are changed whether we accept it or not. Change is often subtle and leaves us unaware regarding the different person we have become with experience” (Anonymous). After reading this, I hope you will now see us more like a bar of soap that has floated to the top of the dirty water rather than the character we used to be. And it is my suggestion that we try to cease labeling people and merely honor them for surviving the trials that make up their unique experiences. The focus for change can then be on functional or efficient people using their skills in ways that are not only sustainable but also more effective. From the conclusions of our authority figures, we all create lasting, indelible impressions in our minds. Our brains actually wire themselves for tasks related to social, emotional, and behavioral activities. There are dendrite branches on every neuron, and how they grow together to form bundles depends on how we task our brains. As long as we are learning, these bundles grow and continue to assist us in skill development. They help us anticipate future events, which allows for security and learning. We literally train the brain constantly through our interactions, but the brain all too often makes decisions based on which ideas fit into our bundles and which do not. It’s like the children’s game that has blocks of differing shapes that are supposed to be put into holes of similar shapes. A child tries to put a square peg in a round hole, and it doesn’t fit. So, the child may become frustrated. Making decisions in life is very similar as we continue into the forthcoming stages of our existences. When an idea doesn’t fit something that we already know, we often

reject it without further inquiry or unbiased, fact-based thinking. This process becomes easier, but it is not always logical to merely fall back on what is familiar. And sometimes making the accurate block fit into the right hole doesn’t necessarily mean that one has made the best decision. Why? Because there are far too many options on certain subjects, especially politics. The key to success in understanding information is to research the subject and then use the reflective listening techniques outlined earlier. The brain is a data processor that interprets new information by comparing them to previous data and familiar information. It tells you what you perceive, not what is actually there or actually happening. The brain merely re or reacquires based solely on one’s personal history, which has become one’s perception. So, we believe we know the truth but forfeit new information or options that could be helpful or more accurate. This is why communication techniques or listening skills are so important. It is also why we need to avoid living in the past. The brain can become stultified or immobile because of its assumptions. When politicians recite their rehearsed agendas, they are counting on the taxpayers to accept the round peg into the hole they are appealing to with their party line. Marketers and telemarketers do the same thing. If we couldn’t communicate with or understand our environment, we would, of course, suffer from constant confusion and isolation, which become distress! So, accepting everyone else’s life versions and their truths seems to be a sane option! Once this has happened, we often rely on memory and psychologically circumvent impartial ideas that might serve us in situations that require a wideranging inquiry into a subject. No one wants to it that they are, in fact, defenseless to peer pressure, especially adults! But the predictable truth is that we all make decisions every day based on others’ satisfaction or dissatisfaction with us, not based on what we actually think or want for ourselves. It’s not self-esteem; it’s other esteem! “Conformity is one side of man, uniqueness is the other” (Carl Jung). Before we can challenge an existing idea, we must be able to reason clearly and without the influences of our own histories and related biases. Keeping an open mind is essential but difficult because previous experiences often cloud our opinion about a new idea or situation. The subtle differences that we experience

from one generation to the next are also difficult for families to adjust to—much less the large differences that face us within our own culture and its social influences. The undercurrents of family histories are powerful. Parents and caregivers literally help us establish the mental and emotional foundations that we need for future relationships. And they are the models that we use to become parents. If the parent takes but does not teach responsibility, the child doesn’t learn ability. A child’s life can be punctuated with indulgence if his or her parent is always doing for the child what the child needs to learn to do for himself or herself. Some parents also feel shame for things their children have done (enmeshment). Some children allow others to treat them, their thoughts, and their feelings in whatever way they want without challenging intrusions or disrespect, and this pattern appears in adulthood all too soon. It means doing what others want regardless of someone’s own desires or needs. This process doesn’t allow for thinking and acting in ways that stand up for legitimate personal rights or being assertive. It doesn’t allow children the option of expressing their own thoughts and feelings in ways that define their own unique perspectives. This type of parenting subtracts from human rights. And those who sell weak political ideals, ineffective political strategies, and hollow parades do so because some of our citizens, especially our youth, are easy prey to disinformation campaigns and socialist dogma. And if you don’t believe me, do your own research. Just pick a politician and find their net worth. If they are multimillionaires, they are not the socialist or democratic hero they claim to be. Inadequate parenting also propagates disruptions in some school systems in that some children arrive at school unprepared not only for academic challenges but also for social collaboration. What do we need to do to impress on certain rascals the importance of education rather than them perceiving it as an unfortunate episode in their life that presses against their immaturity and disobedience? I say that we should bring order and discipline back to our schools. Bring the parents back to school if that is necessary. Some families need to know that their children can no longer interfere in the education of others, and if they do, the

parents will be held able. Without ability, nothing will change! A mother bird must push her chicks away from their home when it is their appointed time. She gently nudges them as they must be motivated to become independent. If she fails to follow the rules of nature, the chick will remain in the nest, awaiting Mommy’s return each day. Eventually, the chick will outgrow the nest, become too heavy, and fall to the ground, where a meandering snake or neighborhood cat will intervene. The life that never found the freedom of flight will be ended by nature. I say this not because I am judging or condemning. I tell you this because parenting is the most important task of a culture, and too many parents only have their personal histories to guide them. The implications of a more educated parent are obvious. The real benefit is that children will become more self-assured and independent. They and their parents will be more positive and content. “A single gentle rain makes the grass many shades greener. So, our prospects brighten on the influx of better thoughts. We should be blessed if we lived in the present always, and took advantage of every accident that befell us, like the grass which confesses the influence of the slightest dew that falls on it; and did not spend our time atoning for the neglect of past opportunities, which we call doing our duty. We loiter in winter while it is already spring” (Thoreau). I have pointed out some glaring and obvious facts throughout the book that may seem anti-Democrat or anti-Republican. My comments are based on the obvious errors that I see on the two sides of a political system that has become a broken and divided house; it sets a poor example for our youth—similar to a dysfunctional family that sets a poor and dangerous example for its children.

Chapter 12

Parenting Styles

Parenting styles are important because they dictate who and what we will eventually become. Child-rearing is critical for development, and yet many people are never educated on the differing styles of parenting or the consequences of the different styles. I am going to include them here so as to give everyone a level playing field. Authoritarian is a restrictive, punitive style in which the parent exhorts their child to follow their, the parent’s, directions and to respect and listen to the parents. Firm limits and controls are placed on the child, and little verbal exchange is allowed. No required! This style is associated with the socially incompetent behavior of an adolescent. It stresses an overdependence on the parent for decision-making. They teach their children what to think, not how to think. Neglectful is a style in which the parent is uninvolved in the child’s life. It is associated with the social incompetence of an adolescent, especially a lack of self-control and self-esteem. Indulgent is a style in which parents are overly involved in a child’s life but place few demands or little control on them. This is associated with the social incompetence of an adolescent, especially a lack of self-control. Poor boundaries occur, and the child becomes overly reliant on the parent, leaving little room for personal achievement or individual confidence. An overly indulgent mother who does everything for her children and showers them with expensive gifts creates a dependency that is selfish because it is accompanied by inability in the child. Authoritative style encourages adolescents to be independent but still places

limits and controls on their actions. Extensive verbal give-and-take is allowed, and parents are warm and nurturing toward their child. This style is associated with the socially competent behavior of an adolescent. This system is flexible (Introduction to Psychology). Having realized these, which style of parenting would you prefer to see in your political candidates? , they make critical decisions for our entire nation! Do you want an overbearing politician who will assume that you don’t know enough to decide so they have to decide for you? Do you want inflexible limits and controls placed on you because someone in charge thinks you are unable to decide for yourself? That’s socialism. Do you want an overbearing, meddling mother persona who believes she is better suited to make decisions for you? Do you want to become over reliant on government? That’s socialism. Do you want a politician who is more concerned with their party affiliation and their own publicity than with the pressing problems of government? That’s socialism. Look at the leadership traits and principles that I referenced earlier in the book and see if your hero really has what it takes to lead! Justice, judgment, dependability, integrity, decisiveness, trustworthiness, initiative, enthusiasm, bearing, unselfishness, courage, knowledge, loyalty, and endurance! If you overwater a plant, it dies. If you overindulge a child, its sense of autonomy and initiative dies! If you are trying to be parental but know you lack the appropriate skills, there is a way to move forward and become more aware. If you do not, you might merely duplicate your own personal history and then rue the day that you occupied yourself with being a parent or leader. Inefficient parenting all too often results in this “Not good enough” mentality. The child does not live in the present and overuses old habits that are rooted in confusion, anger, fear, or dependency. Happiness, confidence, and even control seem to come from somewhere outside of the self. The child does not feel like he or she is in control of their life, emotions, or destiny. This in turn becomes a mental cancer, and the voice of reason turns into a voice of negativity and feeds off of the positive aspects of oneself. It rehearses a pessimistic thought pattern that consists of an internal dialogue that uses statements such as these:

• “I’m always screwing up.” • “Everyone else is smarter than I am.” • “I am always the loser.” • “I’m not lovable, so eventually, everyone will leave me.” • “If people knew the truth about me, they wouldn’t like me.” • “I am not my own sunshine.” • “I can never seem to make things work.”

If you have ever felt inferior because of your upbringing, think on this old adage because this subordination of man has been the unfortunate condition of too many for too long. Give yourself a break from reduced personal value merely because you believe yourself to be inferior to someone who has a bigger ego, a louder voice, a microphone, a more cunning platform manner, or enough financial backing to gain access to the throne of political adventure. It is in our nature to be more and want more, but our desires often become stifled by our environment, which includes well-meaning family and friends. Being internally motivated is critical to development and success. “So, the question is, how do we prevent our children from maturing? And what is a growth disorder? And what prevents—or how do we prevent our self from growing, from going further ahead? Psychological health comprises these elements, and yet, it is more than cultural or psychological normalcy. It includes the ability to operate rationally with minimal emotional interference while simultaneously feeling all one’s emotions and acting on them appropriately. Psychological health also includes the willingness to reflect, to be inner directed, to be able for one’s life and to learn from and adapt to changing circumstances. The ability to be autonomous and to articulate one’s feelings and needs are also critical components. Equally important are empathy and comion, altruism, and the capacity to listen well to others. Most forms of

psychotherapy are to assist someone’s conscious and unconscious minds to cooperate for this reason. They help to develop internal as well as external harmony with the environment. When a desire for belonging, companionship, intimacy or sex is denied intense complications can arise or when a variety of conflicting possibilities are present the person who does not understand maturity has few interpersonal skills to cope” (Fritz Perls). When children are denied the activity that we call play, they will surely need help in socializing later in life! And play continues among adolescents even though many in our culture see it as irrelevant or irrational. Play is actually a rehearsal for future encounters, and when it is denied, the lack of it will result in difficulties. In some cases, it has resulted in kids bringing weapons to school and killing their classmates. Those who reach adulthood without adequate socializing skills will be left confused and wanting. The number of young men now shooting others at random in our culture should indicate an enormous problem to political leaders! Especially community leaders who are in a position to directly impact these tragedies! Stop waiting on or blaming the federal government for not intervening. I for one am getting exhausted. I see it rerun by the media constantly! The media must become able for showing mentally unstable people what other unstable people are doing! Like terrorists, these people see themselves as heroes and will embrace violence in order to gain the spotlight! We need to look to Erikson’s stages of development, as well as other parenting styles, and educate families posthaste! Again, there needs to be much stiffer penalties for those who sell weapons illegally to or make weapons available to children. Our legal and penal systems need to be overhauled, and a moment of insight or an apology for a wrongdoing will not change a pattern of long-term harmful behavior. Some of our youth are trailing behind their peers in social development. As a result, they often show signs of personality disruption. One is referred to as antisocial personality. Its characteristics are a failure to conform to social norms, deceitfulness, impulsiveness, an inability to plan ahead, irritability, aggressiveness, reckless disregard for others, a lack of remorse, and a tendency to rationalize the hurting of others.

Another disorder is schizoid personality, and its features include the following: has no desire for close relationships, almost always chooses solitary activity, has little (if any) interest in intimacy, takes pleasure in few (if any) activities, lacks close friends or confidants outside of the family, appears indifferent to praise or criticism, and shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flat affect. The characteristics of both disorders can be the products of neglectful, indulgent or authoritarian parenting or a lack of leadership! These characters are easy to identify even if you aren’t a therapist! And there are personality inventories that can identify these folks so as to assist them before they do harm to others. So, does it seem logical to introduce these inventories in gun-control laws? I am tired of the noise of the people who camouflage their real intentions with crusades that become hollow parades. It’s time for the politicians and media seekers of disasters to rethink their dogmatic platforms and become more active with solutions. My favorite adage on the subject is this: “One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is evil: It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good: It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, comion and faith.’ The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’ The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed’” (Unknown). Most of us want order in our lives, and anything that seems to interfere is often seen as useless, wrong, or worse, wicked or immoral. This happens when two seemingly contradictory events occur or two or more realities begin to collide. The immediate assumption is that someone else or their ideas must be wrong. Our past experiences seem to dictate what is okay and what is not. Once our mind accustoms itself to a certain morality or system of rightness or ethics, mental filters replace reason and objectivity. Repetitious thinking allows a certain sense of predictability in the present, which is unfortunately often tied to the past. But while the repetition is what gives a sense of order, some people continue to trust their personal experiences rather than accept change. This, of course, interferes with learning and the development of new ideas or

relationships. Whatever I accept into my mind has reality for me. We all have a need to achieve, and this is evident in our dreams or fantasies, so we need to ask ourselves this question: “Is my environment encouraging or discouraging [reactive]?” The practical method is to use our own motivation and curiosity to succeed. Curiosity and interest stimulate ion, and ion is the fuel that drives us to succeed. But we must also supervise our own intentions so as to keep ourselves on track. We must turn our ions into actions. They must be creative, not reactive or destructive, actions. Our ability to monitor our own thoughts or react to real or potential threats lies in the whole of our intellectual potential, which is called the collective mind. Hopefully, as we mature, it becomes the cooperative mind. This system operates automatically. It is similar to our autonomic nervous system, which allows us to operate an automobile without really focusing on every movement or decision we make while performing the task. This system is a by-product of our past experiences, which influence our expectations and hopes for the future. “ can be used as a means of helping an individual determine whether they should change their behavior or attitude. It is communication which gives an individual information about how they affect others. As in a guided missile system, helps an individual keep their behavior ‘on target’ and thus helps them better achieve their goals and meet needs” (Anonymous). But the more defensive we are, the more narrow-minded we are. We become more likely to avoid listening to opposing ideas—even if those ideas are constructive. Socialists and other political rascals take advantage of this circumstance, knowing that it is a collective or shared thinking that can be used to influence those who are unsuspecting. Some politicians and their marketers have been schooled on this set of ideas and use it to influence voting by exaggerating problems. It’s basically selling anxiety. The communication plan I outlined earlier can help with both of these influences, but it can only do that if you to use the techniques. Everything in the universe runs along its own path, and polarity holds everything together. If you pursue north and continue to chase it, you will traverse the earth and end up back where you started. Don’t get too caught up in what others tell

you is the one truth or the only direction. If you pursue love, you may find fear because you haven’t found love simply by instinctively pursuing it. The trick is to arrive at your own narrative of love and then find someone who has similar views. Getting lost is easy when we aren’t paying attention. Going right instead of left, going north instead of northwest, or driving past our exit on the freeway is a usual occurrence for many of us because we’re on autopilot while we are driving and our minds want entertainment that will get us through the trip. But when it comes to patterns of behavior that lead us “down the same street,” we don’t always adjust or realize that staying on that course is not efficient and we should “walk down another street.” We can change direction or change behaviors to get back on track, but that often takes innovative and objective thinking. For part of my life, I believed my destiny was capricious and that all I had to do was leave everything to fate and live according to the dictates of some elusive morality that would determine my worth and acceptance according to foreordained standards of behavior and thinking. Now I realize that I just didn’t plan ahead enough. The bottom line is that you can use your disappointments and traumas as motives to continue to be afraid, blunted, or muffled, or you can learn from life’s lessons and move on. Rather than involuntarily employ defenses, you can monitor your reactions, learn, and advance. Here is a metaphor that will make this clear: Everything in nature needs to move forward—to progress. When you try to walk backward, what happens? You feel off-balance! Uncertain! You must look over your shoulder, but still you don’t feel as secure as when you are walking forward. So, why keep going in reverse regarding your thoughts? Why live in the past? This is what causes uncertainty. Embrace your future, change your attitudes, incorporate motivation, and say good-bye to idleness and fear. There is no real comfort in staying arrested in time. In the Bible, Lot told his wife not to look back or she would turn into a block of salt. Did he mean that literally? No, he meant that she would become stultified in thought if she lived in the past. And guilt is the past crippling you in the present. Lamenting over the past and reflecting on the past are two different things. Parenting is an engagement that prepares us for the future and for producing outcomes by setting goals and developing plans that children can emulate. Not planning for the future is a fault of the youth when they think that independence

doesn’t matter. But at some point, being independent does matter. So, setting limits is critical because it helps with developing healthy boundaries that lead to personalized goal setting. Tutoring with healthy incentives to do this thing called mature then produces talented, competitive citizens. Bleeding-heart liberals and misinformed socialists overlook this indispensable truth in favor of trying to be popular and collect votes! Why does our immigration system give preference to certain occupations? Doctors, engineers, and scientists have preferential advantages. Why? Are we not doing a good-enough job of identifying these aptitudes in our own citizens? Are we not able to harvest enough potential from our own culture or educate people at our own schools fast enough? Why aren’t Americans asking these questions instead of asking for handouts? Parenting is critical because it creates leadership traits and principles in the citizens of a country, and when people operate from an honorable foundation, they are more likely to be positive and constructive. Learning to move forward and being positive, although seen as difficult by many, can become second nature if one properly restructures their thinking. Exercising control over your thoughts is not as difficult as it might seem. You need to apply the discipline of your own internal parent. The first step is learning to monitor your thoughts—to think about what you are thinking about. When you catch yourself being unproductive or negative, think again! Try it for a day and see what happens. If you believe the media and think everything is out of control, think again. You can also train yourself to change your mood. If you have trained yourself not to, you can re-mind yourself. The bottom line is this: Being creative, motivated, and positive will help win over many more struggles than being negative or stuck in the mud of indifference or uncertainty. And if you didn’t have the perfect family, whatever that is, begin to use the formula I’ll outline in the next chapter. We can change and advance at any stage of our lives.

, don’t look back. You may turn into a block of salt. Again, lamenting over the past is not the same as reflecting on the past. We can invite our political representatives to come together for the purpose of producing more harmonious outcomes just as we can invite the unique parts of ourselves to come together in order to maximize not only our potentials but also our joy. Character building is the task of parents, but some parents were deprived of certain traits themselves, so how can they assist their own children with such learning? Self-regulation is the ability to make choices that are efficient and productive and respect the rights of others while satisfying self! In a mature society, there is no tolerance for immature desires that lead to criminal activity. People who are willing to violate the rights of others have not evolved or matured and are now the wards of society because of their histories—histories that failed them. And saying that this is because most of them come from poverty pockets is dangerous. Many people who live in poverty pockets are just as likely to make moral decisions as others in our society. We are literally the sum of our parts and therefore the sum of our experiences. So, some believe in, live, and express their unique histories even if their related choices are decided by selfish, dishonest, or decadent (childish) character flaws. So, how do we reeducate generations of inaccurate and even dangerous thinking that will continue to generate a mentality that violates the rights of others? And this includes socialists—people who believe it is okay to take what they haven’t worked for or to riot and damage property or injure other people just to make a political statement. The governments of each state should begin to provide parenting and morality lessons in the schools for those who need assistance. We can treat troubled children, but what about troubled parents? Make it mandatory. If the adults lack wisdom, how can we expect their children to learn it? Perception is being able to read our environment and make decisions that are appropriate, healthy, and effective. Some people are teaching their children what to think instead of how to reason. If one is able to reason or use logic, one is able to create better outcomes—choices that not only serve the self but also serve others.

Thomas More articulated in Utopia, “You do but make thieves and then punish them.” But again, our social system and our laws do not always allow for the intervention of rearing a criminal, only in demanding justice after the law has been broken. We tried to strike fear into the hearts of criminals for years but to no avail. In many of our schools, the emphasis is usually on memorizing certain facts, which is appropriate when it involves important subjects like math and science; however, unique abilities are just as important. Critically analyzing facts without prejudice is likewise important. Some parents do not know how to bring out what is natural to the child. Rather, they try to inject old ideas and beliefs into a fertile mind. Therefore, educated parents are the essential influence that ensures that schools recognize their children’s uniqueness. Some parents do a lot of talking but take little action, which results in little or no change. Exhausting oneself with rhetoric is not good parenting or good leadership. Taking action and setting an appropriate example show good leadership. Rhetoric, by itself, is only a repetition of words that wastes oxygen and frustrates everyone involved. The answer, of course, is to have a meaningful plan and stick to it—regardless of excuses. I believe that too many citizens do not know how to go about the business of parenting. So, why do we not help them before it’s too late to rescue their children from disaster? And again, throwing money at those who do not know how to budget or spend wisely is not an efficient way to assist the needy! And busing children away from their own communities instead of building better schools in poverty pockets has not totally eliminated the problem either. Laws are made by humans because humanity doesn’t know a better way to control or change bad behavior. Humans haven’t figured out how to apply guidelines that will curb inhumanity, which causes selfishness, greed, indecision, insecurity, anger, spite, and jealousy; all of these are indicators of a personality that has yet to come into maturity. In short, these are the traits of a wayward child—someone who has had little or no leadership and therefore has yet to understand the world from a standpoint of maturity! Maturity involves the

following elements: wisdom that comes from training and experience, reliability, sensibility, dependability, integrity, trustworthiness, initiative, endurance, unselfishness, courage, loyalty, and enthusiasm. Self-esteem and selfdetermination are the traits that motivate stable, responsible humans, and without character development, humanity will always entertain retribution and an expensive prison system. Meanwhile, churches of all denominations will continue to pray and hope but without generating change for those who loiter in unawareness while successful people achieve. And political and legal systems and churches will continue to look on while not conceding that what they are doing isn’t the only way to bring about change. We need to reverse this dangerous undercurrent of liberal thinking: “Wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, commerce without morality, science without humanity, politics without principles” (Gandhi).

Chapter 13

Be Your Own Movie Star

There are some who have escaped crime-infested areas, but I don’t see politicians focusing on them. The focus is on the ones left behind. Why aren’t we asking how the successful ones did it? What was unique about them? We aren’t asking because we already know the answer. That person had desire, took initiative, used internal motivation, and put a plan in place. And that person didn’t allow themselves to be influenced by a gang or a family that was stuck with some perceived, stubborn, inflexible drama. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way” (Unknown). It’s time to take back your destiny and create or recreate your own life and your future. The best insurance policy is to be in control of yourself. We are all creating our encounters and experiences as we live our lives on this planet via our thoughts. Our thoughts lead us every day. The effects of our decisions can be seen as experiences that we can learn from or experiences that will keep us bound to the roles that we already play. It is cause and effect. We can continue to cause ourselves to be subordinate to our surroundings or learn to lead ourselves and others toward healthier and more fulfilling solutions. Living from the inside out allows us to maintain personal control and create the future that we dream of. “You are the author of your own life story. So, make it a good one” (Unknown). Earlier in the book, I suggested creative alternatives, as opposed to reactive ones. So, which do you prefer? Being reactive will surely keep unnecessary drama in play. We can lose control during reactive crises, and too often do we become victims or damaged or even confused, depressed, angry, or disappointed by the unintended loss of control. One’s manipulation is often the result of drama or feeling out of control. We have control and are much safer emotionally when we think of our own thoughts rather than rehearse or recite the ideas and desires of others. We are most certainly in control when we do not react to someone else’s

drama. Re-acting is acting over and over in the same way and not realizing progress. Life is too often ruled by our past because we simply don’t pay attention to our current thoughts. Much of our present existence is based in our past. We automatically make decisions and re-act to current events by relying on our memory, but memory is too often stultified. And yet we continue to rely on it without questioning the efficiency of re-calling past re-actions. We need to think about what we are thinking about and ask ourselves whether the response— verbal or emotional—is going to serve us in the here and now. And again, if you are confused as to where your thoughts are coming from, check in with your heart! If you are confused as to where your feelings are coming from, check in with your mind! If a blade gets dull, we sharpen it. If a machine wears out, we replace it. If we don’t like our current jobs, we find others. We can sharpen or replace thoughts in like manner. I set out to rewrite the script for my future. It is a strategy that anyone can use, and it’s actually fun and especially healthy for anyone who desires positive change. Fortunately, a complete rewrite of life is not required. There are many things that are very acceptable—even irable. We need only change those things that are bothersome to us or others around us who are important to us. In order to do this, we need to ask ourselves some critical questions. For instance, if I want to alter my role and script, then I need to be specific with myself about change. In order to do this, I need to determine the severity and frequency of the unwanted self-talk or pattern or behavior. Making a list of things that you would like to change is the start of the process. In real life, we don’t see ourselves as actors playing out roles. We take our existences seriously and believe in who and what we are. If we could come to see ourselves as characters in a play, we could recognize that there is some flexibility in our roles and scripts, especially if we become our own directors, and we have the option of changing some lines and maybe even major traits of our roles or characters. Before we can do so, however, we have to understand the fundamental parts of a play or drama. These parts are essential not only for a good play but also for a good life and are essential for our everyday interactions

with other actors. Ask yourself, who is the star of your show? Are you? If not, what role are you in? Are you in a ing role? Are you a good guy or a bad guy? A child? A parent? An adult? Do you really want to change? If so, you may confuse your friends or even your family because others may be very uncomfortable with your rewrite if they cast you as a costar in their play! Or worse, a villain! Make a list of things that you want to change. From the list, you can evaluate whether or not it is really important enough to eliminate something or someone from your life script. If something or someone on the list bothers you a lot, then it needs to be redlined—taken out of your script. Be aware of when you say it and gently remind yourself that the idea isn’t part of who you are any longer. Don’t beat yourself up; just be as kind as the parent you would be for your own child. As you begin to change or refocus and entertain new ideas and a new language, ask yourself, are you in the role of child, parent, or adult while becoming the new you? Script pertains to our words, dialogues, and conversations. When we think of an actor’s script, we think of the lines they say in order to entertain us. In real life, there are usually mental rules for determining the outcome of a script. These rules are often dramatically different from those behind the scenes of a movie or play. We often interpret what actors say and try to guess the outcome of act one, act two, etc. We involve ourselves emotionally in a movie or play because it has certain similarities to our own lives or it has words that we ourselves would like to say or have deleted from our own scripts out of fear. Affect is generally seen as a set of habits, a pattern of speech or dress, or a set of mannerisms or behaviors that we use to influence others so as to meet needs, especially to be accepted. One’s affect is generally seen by others as their personality or uniqueness. We are not always totally aware of how we influence others, and we can act in ways that influence others positively or otherwise. Our affect often amplifies who we really are and misleads others because we often look different on the outside from how we see ourselves from within. Affect is the energy that we use to accentuate or propel words and ideas. Like actors, we can practice and learn to influence others rather than be influenced.

When we express, we often exhale. When we breathe, we exhale carbon dioxide, and when we declare, we exhale our feelings. This is healthy; however, there are times when we express ourselves without editing what we are saying. This can have a negative impact on those around us, especially those we care about. So, venting can be offensive to others. This is when psychological defenses are employed; others defend against what they feel is an intrusion against their sense of self. I believe we all do this to some degree, even politicians. I understand their frustration at times, but venting is not the way to lead a country. Our political leaders are able for solving problems. That’s why we voted for them. But then I suppose that we count on parents to set positive, constructive examples and show children how to solve problems efficiently too. And this expectation hasn’t worked well for some families either. We can change old habits though and embrace change. Emotions are what make our experiences real. Without them, life would have little flavor or meaning. Unfortunately, we are too often expected to ignore our feelings or stifle them in favor of what is considered to be acting in a mature role. In reality, it is impossible not to have feelings, but too many people have become afraid to experience and express their true sensations and sentiments. Try to imagine a life without feelings and expressions! Doesn’t make sense, does it? Many people have been expected to live a life free of this most essential of God’s gifts. If they are used appropriately, emotions can cause our play life to be a great success because they enhance dialogue and lend authenticity to who we really are. If we have been overacting, then perhaps the opposite is true. We can learn to prune the energy that we use when we say things. An “I” statement becomes useful in this effort. If I say “I am allowing myself to get angry,” I then develop the control to manage that anger. It is in me, not out there somewhere. I am actually never stressed from without; I am stressed from within! The scene, as you know, is also a basic element of every play and is an essential ingredient of the production that we call life. It is the environment where the action takes place. It includes affect and emotions but also includes other actors, objects, and institutions. It is our perception of the scene that usually influences our choices and decisions. We can sometimes be ruled by the scene; actors occasionally seem trapped by a situational play. The scene generally contains props. We very often become distracted by them and even allow them to take center stage. Fancy cars, jewelry, clothes, furniture, and even drugs and alcohol

can become so important that they rule the scene and even the script. If your life is too troublesome, it may be time to change the props, other actors, or location and the script. I know that remodeling a whole life seems impossible, but bear with me. Unfinished scenes are the surroundings and environments where the action once took place and still seem important. They include affect and emotions and the other characters who were important or had a tremendous impact on us. Our perceptions of the past remain as scenes that can still influence our choices and decisions. We can sometimes be ruled by old scenes and actors who remain in our old situational plays (memories). These scenes also remain with their props and characters. We very often become distracted by them and even allow them to take center stage in our current play—life. They remain in our minds as important schemes that can influence the current scripts and relationships. These too can be dealt with in a similar manner—by rewriting and rehearsing. We will deal with them as a child sets aside toys—not because they no longer have sentimental value but because the child has simply outgrown them. Our unique histories may have too much power over our current lives and our futures. Maturing, then, is about escaping or letting go of those things that no longer benefit us. , you can only be in one place at a time: past, present, or future. If you spend too much time in the past, with its regrets and disappointments, you are not in control in the present. You cannot control what has already happened! Don’t let the past be in control. If you live in the future with expectations, fantasies, or conspiracies and intrigues and without a plan, then you are likewise not in control. And if you favor guilt as a means of punishing yourself, that, it is a choice that can be changed in your mind. Perhaps there are even actions and behaviors that we would enjoy acting out in our own lives because we see them work for others. As in movies or plays, we too have our own scripts—lines that we repeat in order to be accepted, to get what we want, to feel a sense of purpose, and especially, to be loved. Our scripts also have rules that govern what we say. These rules come from our families, our societies, our cultures, our governments, our religious beliefs, and our peers. Some of these rules are covert. In other words, we memorize and repeat certain parts of our scripts out of habit, not knowing that many lines no longer serve us. Think about child, adult, and parent exchanges.

During our twenties, we usually discover this in unfortunate ways while trying to secure a date or a job. Some outdated guidelines have emotional charges that no longer serve us either. They emerge from our subconscious and disturb the new scene in ways that we regret or dislike. This is when expressing appropriately becomes paramount. We teach children to stop, drop, and roll regarding fires. Why can’t we teach them to stop, think, and rehearse regarding responses to important life events? Drama finds its way into most of our lives. Sometimes, it is entertaining and makes life worthwhile. Without it, our lives would seem meaningless and dull. Like emotions, our dramas can make us come alive and give us purpose. Now and again, though, they become overpowering and seem to leave us confused and even fearful and angry or totally let down. It is often easier to withdraw from life’s trials than face them and learn from them. Without emotions, our wonderful and enjoyable events couldn’t occur. We need to be aware of this dynamic and make efficient choices in order to avoid those scripts that lead “down the same street.” The trick is to maintain control and use our emotions appropriately. This is where those communication techniques come into play. Language is how we communicate verbally. We seldom recognize its symbolism, however, and how it helps portray who we are. Our words come from our minds and from our hearts. Language speaks of who and what we are and where we have been. It tells others what our roles are, what our play—life—means to us, and especially what our script is. It is often only the tip of the iceberg, however, because we edit our messages involuntarily or mechanically and often withhold thoughts in favor of what we think needs to be said. We follow family and social rules and use the language that is acceptable or agreeable to those around us. We do this even if it means that we end up not being authentic or autonomous. Again, we follow our scripts and repeat our lines out of habit instead of necessity; we do not realize that we can change our scripts and perhaps fly away from the birdcage of history. Rules are handed down generationally and guide us through our play—life. Too often, rules become rooted so deeply in our subconscious that we feel stuck. Some rules are very clear, and some are vague—even covert. When we are uncertain about a rule, especially a relational rule, the law of affect takes over, and we are faced with a dilemma. These dilemmas are what make us want to withdraw from a relationship or even our play—life itself. When the rules aren’t

clear, then the lines, the script, or the language isn’t clear either. The drama or external life seems to control us and not the other way around. This is why knowing the difference between internal control and external control is so important. Again, “I” statements are helpful when one wants to regain a sense of control. When we rewrite our scripts, we must also rewrite the rules. We cannot change others or their internal, involuntary, subconscious scripts, but we can change our own scripts as long as we follow legal mandates. If someone decides to change, they need to do so in a way that does not violate the established laws. This is why leadership traits and principles are so important. If you become dissatisfied with your play, drama, or scene, then it makes sense to change it. Rewrite the play or script, so to speak. In doing so, you can literally write yourself a new role and become your own star. Change the rules. Alter the drama and even your language. You may be saying to yourself, “It’s not that easy!” And you are right because you just put that thought in your mind. But it can be rerecorded with time and patience. I used to work in stage management, and believe me, actors take a lot of time memorizing and rehearsing for a play! When the play is over and the audience begins to applaud, the actors know they have done a good job. So, if you are totally fed up with certain parts of your life, then it is up to you to take charge of your play and install a new director—you! If you wait for the others around you to change, you will most likely continue to be frustrated and disappointed! Make your own changes! As a precaution, be careful of how you prioritize things. For instance, if you are writing out a bad habit or person you don’t like, write it or them out so that it or they no longer cause any disruption in your life. Make sure that there are no emotional traces, which include regret and disappointment. Don’t be ruled by the thing or person after it or they are long gone! Relieve yourself of the buzzing confused-mind syndrome. Don’t loiter in winter when it is already spring. If your mind continues to return to an old chapter’s scene or past characters, you will most likely return to old conclusions. So, edit what your mind is doing in order to ensure that the new script works. “You can’t solve a problem with the same kind of thinking that created it” (Einstein). Rehearsing—before actors go on stage or in front of a camera, they memorize their lines and repeat them with a fellow actor or stage manager. We can do the

same with a friend or trusted family member to prepare ourselves for the challenges that lie ahead. Just make sure that the person you choose is really on your team! Once the new play is finished and the lines are memorized and rehearsed, acting out the part is what brings new life. A new sense of purpose and, most importantly, a sense of control appear as if they were there all along. Once you have written over the old lines in your mind—rerecording, so to speak—you are truly your own director and are now in control! The presence of the new play or life is the absence of the other—the old life. A new life begins to unfold as old patterns and feelings begin to slip away and lose their grip on us. And as life begins to challenge us, we must continue to ask ourselves, “Is this idea or behavior out of character for me? Is it congruent with who I am and what I really want now?” Our conscience will always tell us the truth. You need to know that breaking character can cause anxiety for others, so be patient with the process. People may not easily accept the new you because their sameness meets that all-important need for security! The process of selfimprovement is educational; however, enlightenment doesn’t always rise as quickly as the sun for those around us. This life is a peculiar journey that is punctuated by a certain rhythm that doesn’t have to be painful, but some characters in our play may want to make it so. Your role, for the most part, needs to be created by you with guidance from the trusted characters in your life. None of them should be your director, however; they can be ing characters or of the backstage crew. The idea of rewriting our life script has been researched by many mental-health professionals, such as Maud Purcell, Michelle Renee, Charles Cannon, and Susan Gregory Thomas. “All beliefs are real to the believer” is a statement that seems simple at first. Whatever you accept into your mind has reality for you. If you come to accept and believe in the role you play in life, then you become it, the role you were given, which is not always the role you desire or deserve. The dilemma is this: Once we accept the old characters, we can be ruled by them. Our roles can dictate our thoughts and actions. Our minds become so convinced of who and

what we are that we act out a kind of production with an inflexible script that was already written in our minds and was usually written by someone else. It is a script that we accept and then repeat without consciously realizing that we are more than the characters we play. Ask yourself, what has been working for you and what hasn’t?

• What have I tried before? Did it work? • What do I really want? • What do I want to change? • What are my goals? • Who am I, really? • Who do I want to be? • Is there conflict between who I am and who I want to be? • Why do I want to rewrite my script?

If you return to an old chapter, you will most likely return to old conclusions. And if you meet characters who you would like to add to your production, beware of those who want to change your script, direction, or intention. Some insecure people create chaos through drama in order to maintain a pattern formed by a personal history. They often have an exaggerated need for security, which they chase like a dog retrieving a ball only to return it and then want to run after it again and again! In spite of the related difficulties, it gives them a sense of sameness because family theatrics or other types of traumatic experiences left indelible marks on their psyches! Sameness and tradition can create their own warped sense of security! Another relational configuration that we should be aware of is self-esteem versus

other esteem. Some people are very uncertain about decision-making and will seek your advice whenever they try to make a conclusion. It’s also a subdivision of peer pressure. The problem is, if you give guidance that fails, you will be blamed for the outcome! Beware of the needy and seemingly helpless! Learned helplessness aids many in not becoming able for their decisions and actions. Other esteem also causes overdependence and other control versus selfcontrol. It has caused a terrible amount of frustration in our culture because it creates insecurity, which lurks in the backgrounds of many people’s affairs. Become knowledgeable on all the issues that face you, not just global warming! Study politics and religion and how plastic is destroying our oceans without bias in order to ensure that your children will inherit a better world! Each generation must become involved with these pressing issues, or you and your children will pay the ultimate price—the price you’re paying right now! That price includes future wars, higher taxes, fewer freedoms, higher crime rates, and a cost-ofliving escalation that will devour incomes for years and years to come! If you don’t believe my research, then at the very least, don’t accept socialist doctrine without doing your homework first. And all the generations must decide whether or not our United States will experience the same disarray and disintegration that happened to the Greeks, Romans and Socialists! An army of political figures, economists, lawyers, bankers, brokers, ants, ecologists, and advisors of all sorts have had their day in the sun, but some have failed to bring about the unity that will be required to initiate sane and efficient economic and environmental changes. “My fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world; ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man” (John Kennedy). The disunity that some politicians, media separatists, and entertainment characters are sermonizing must be researched if we are all to realize mutual success. They are rehearsing for their own play, but all of us do not have to applaud merely because they have the microphones. Useless conversations are those that are repeated month after year with inescapable errors but still seem to cause no consequence. Humans have repeated problem conversations that have become lore or philosophy despite the

fact that we repeat those stories without really reflecting in a way that could assist in finding solutions for those problems. The ancient Greeks and Romans and Egyptians and Christians were discussing these topics over three thousand years ago. What has changed? As I quantify the years of my life, the years I have been an American, I must use politics as the benchmark for the success and happiness of our nation, which equates to individual success and comfort for all of us. I cannot help but weigh the values of the Oval Office, the Congress, and the Senate as I make important conclusions. I ask myself, “Does my country have high morale? A morale that especially includes trust in government?” As mentioned earlier in this book, there are leadership traits and principles that can be used to enhance morale. They are justice, judgment, dependability, integrity, decisiveness, trustworthiness, initiative, enthusiasm, bearing, unselfishness, courage, knowledge, loyalty, and endurance. So, here is a tool that you and yours can use to determine how well our political appointees and media personalities are doing and determine the worth and success of your own endeavors. It’s called values clarifying. “A value is a personal guide that gives direction to life, helps us relate to the world and take purposeful action. Values are standards considered important to an individual or group. A value can be measured by comparing it to seven criteria, all of which are grouped under three headings. Choosing, Acting, Prizing. Partial values are ones that lack at least one of the seven. This includes desires, thoughts not acted on, opinions, interests, aspirations, beliefs and attitudes. Priority Ranking is a process whereby the individual takes inventory of their full and partial values, examines them and puts them in the order of their importance to self. By ranking and identifying values an individual can become more secure in their priorities and decisions that are important in achieving a goal or meeting true needs. This is another road to self-awareness and personal development” (Scott Jeffreys).

A Choosing

• without pressure or coercion from others • from alternatives • after considering consequences

B Prizing

• feeling good about it • talking to others about it

C Acting

• act upon it (time, money, and personal commitment) • make it a part of life’s pattern (repetition)

(A) I have chosen to write this book after considering the consequences. (B) I’m feeling good about it. (C) I’m acting on my values by investing my time and commitment because I see things more clearly and want to be creative. I am harming no one and merely stating truths that have existed for many, many years. I have researched the information that suggests that my findings are accurate.

And if I continue to use leadership traits and principles in determining outcomes, I will feel more positive, civilized, and honorable.

As I see it, there are three detractors that keep us from filtering our thoughts and decisions through healthy values or leadership traits and principles.

1. It can be time-consuming. We humans are used to making conclusions based on what we already know and can be in a hurry to make decisions as our brains are usually full of already-existing ideas that await an opportunity to emerge into conscious thinking and decision-making. In short, it’s easier. 2. Sometimes thinking on our own conflicts with the thoughts and values of those around us, and this can make us unpopular or challenging to others. It can be a social blunder or a risk! 3. Our own minds may rebel against this process because we are, after all, creatures of habit.

But habits can be erased and recorded over if we truly want to change our lives and be more original and creative. This bring me to an article written by John C. Maxwell. “With foresight and forethought, you can spare yourself the wounds that result from mistakes.” He goes on to describe errors that we all make in life that can be changed. “Spending too little time with the right people. Nothing can be more limiting than being with the wrong people. They drag us down, limit our growth, distract our attention and inflict negative thinking on us. In contrast, the right people are like personal cheerleaders, pushing us to victory. Not saying what you need to say. It takes a certain courage to speak your mind, especially when what you need to say is not what others want to hear. Not taking action, on worthwhile goals. This is the most common of regrets. It’s procrastination. It’s knowing you should do something while doing nothing. One of nature’s decrees is the law of cause and effect. This means, quite literally, that we always get what we create, even if the outcome is not what we intended.

This seems extremely difficult to keep in mind when people are involved in life and seemingly do not have control.” Once again, when we feel out of control, we feel fear or one of its relatives. Some political figures can and do use this condition to their advantage during election cycles. Effective or ineffective personal decisions become results. When the outcomes bring about difficulty, it is easy to blame others or serendipity or karma or the devil! Being able to accept ability for personal decisions and choices, then, is part of personality development. There are three primary ingredients to success and if you study triumphant people you will recognize these essential factors. The. 3 C’s are; curiosity, courage and commitment. Without these character traits future success is only a dream. We can’t wait for success, we have to create it. Being curious is supposed to be child’s play however, if we fail to take interest in or, appreciate something, how can we begin the process of discovery? Courage is having the resolve to face our challenges and begin to plan in spite of the brains desire for sameness or others around us who may be critical of new goals. Commitment is the decision to take on a task in spite of challenges or setbacks. Creation takes place with action, not re-action. Our brains tend to re-act as the result of something outside of self. When we make decisions our brain basically decodes incoming facts from our environment and then searches memory for familiar experiences, then decides based on that. This is an-other than conscious habit and we seldom question our own decisions. Success demands that we begin doing so. It’s called objectivity. The formula for positive outcomes is, to simply recognize the mistake and choose again but, choose more wisely. If we could all just realize that this life is a process of evolution, we could free ourselves of the past, embrace the present, and plan for the future. I have been wordy in this one-sided dialogue, but I feel the need to share some history and wisdom that could save lives.

Carpe diem [Seize the day]! “It’s too late to remind yourself that you should have drained the swamp when you’re already up to your ass in alligators” (Anonymous).

References

50 Psychology Classics by Tom Butler-Bowdon A Father’s Memoirs by I. M. Speaking A Tear and a Smile by Kahlil Gibran ACLU America by Alan Sears and Craig Osten Atlas of World History by Parragon Communism by Richard Pipes History’s Timeline by Cook, Kramer, and Entwistle Imperial Hubris by Michael Scheuer Last Men Out by Bob Drury and Tom Clavin Sleepwalking Through History by Haynes Johnson The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran The Story of Philosophy by Will Durant The works of Carl Rogers The works of Carl Whittaker The works of Erik Erikson The works of Eric Berne The works of John Kelly The works of Sigmund and Anna Freud

Walden by Henry David Thoreau

Author Biography

I am so old that I refuse to tell anyone exactly how old I am! Having said that, I wish to explain because I predate young people and therefore have garnered certain experiences that are accompanied by lessons that I feel obliged to share. You will have to trust me on this because my wisdom did not come easy. I was born in St. Louis, Missouri, and grew up there. Well, actually, my body developed there, but my maturity came much later. I lived on the south side and probably had seven residences by the time I was fifteen. I lived with a single mother who knew very little about raising a son, so I developed a wayward lifestyle replete with the soul of a gypsy and surrounded myself with friends who were also errant and lost. I failed to do well in school and began to turn mischief into a bordering-on-criminal lifestyle. At fifteen, I was remanded into the custody of an uncle who tutored me, and I became a much more acceptable character. At eighteen, I enlisted in the US Marine Corps, where my development as an acceptable personality continued. I made a career of being a marine, and while I was on active duty, I attended several colleges when I could and eventually received a master’s degree. After retiring from the Marine Corps, I worked in mental health for fifteen years, and my combined careers would define how I changed, what I learned, and who I became. I also served as an adjunct faculty member and taught at four universities and colleges. This book is a historical of the world I lived in and the challenges that Americans faced across my existence. I do not pretend to have all the answers to life; however, given my experiences and education, I have acquired certain pieces of information and have detailed in this book what I learned and how others can benefit from the wisdom I have been given.