Yfc Family Culture Manual 6o82m

CFC YOUTH FOR CHRIST 3‐Year Pastoral Formation Track Year 1

FAMILY   CULTURE

2009 Edition

CFC Youth for Christ

Year 1: FAMILY CULTURE (2009 EDITION)

YFC Family Culture TABLE OF CONTENTS Chapter 1:  THE FAMILY‐FOCUSED ACTIVITIES AND THE FAMILY CULTURE A. Rationale B. Overview of the Family‐Focused Activities C. Overview of Family Culture D. Objectives E. Schedule of Activities F. Guidelines In Conducting the Activity 1. Roles and Description of Service Team 2. Resource Materials Chapter 2:  YFC FAMILY CULTURE SESSION DYNAMICS AND EXPANDED TALK OUTLINES A. Talk 1 – Picture Perfect B. Talk 2 – My Family and I C. Talk 3 – My Family, My Choice D. Praisefest Exhortation Points

2‐5 2 2 3 3 4 4 4 5 6‐19 6 10 15 19

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CHAPTER 1

THE FAMILY‐FOCUSED ACTIVITIES AND THE FAMILY CULTURE

A. RATIONALE: The family is an important part in the formation and life of a person. It is where the person learns and establishes his values, beliefs and experiences that eventually mold him to be what and who he is. The family can either be the source of love, blessing and inspiration or can also be a cause of brokenness and frustration in the person.  But whatever the situation of the family is, it is still a very important part in the formation of the young. CFC Youth for Christ (YFC) believes in the role of the family, most particularly the parents, in the growth and formation of their children.  Although YFC is a  group for young people ages 13‐21 in a stage of their life where they are forming their own identity and building their own dreams, we cannot discount the fact that YFC cannot do these alone. YFC provides only a supplement to the kind of environment the youth experiences in his/her home. Through the years, YFC saw the need to reinforce the importance of the family in molding the young.  YFC then seeks to bring the YFC  back to their family and acknowledge more strongly that the molding in their own family takes precedence in all other  groups for the young.  And YFC seeks neither to alienate nor to replace the family. Hence, YFC introduces the Family‐Focused Activities, one of which is the Family Culture.

B. OVERVIEW OF THE FAMILY‐FOCUSED ACTIVITY The Family‐Focused Activities was envisioned because of the need to nourish the hip level by strengthening family relationships. The objectives of the Family‐Focused Activities are as follows: 1. To allow the young to realize and claim God’s plan for their present and future family.   2. To teach the young to bring Christ to their family.   3. To strengthen the family relationship.   4. To grow in their love for siblings. 5. To encourage non‐CFC Parents to love and value community.   6. To create an alternative environment for family fellowship.

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The following are the different Family‐Focused Activities; each will happen every year within the 3‐Year Pastoral Formation Track of YFC : Year 1: Family Culture Year 2: Parent’s Honoring Night Year 3: Best Weekend a) Mother‐Daughter Camp b) Father‐Son Camp

C. OVERVIEW OF THE FAMILY CULTURE The Family Culture activity is conducted to a new member of YFC 3 months after the member undergoes the Covenant Orientation. After learning how to love, to honor and to serve the family, this one‐day activity seeks to reinforce and strengthen their appreciation for the family, believe in the plan of God for the family and how to respond to the God’s plan for the family.

D. OBJECTIVES 1. This formation track aims for the YFC to acknowledge, appreciate and understand the distinct culture in each of their family. 2. This seeks for the YFC to believe and understand that the Lord has a unique plan for their family. 3. This aims to let YFC realize that we are to fulfill God’s promises to our respective families.

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E. SCHEDULE OF ACTIVITIES 8:00 am 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:30 12:00 pm 1:00 1:30   2:15 2:30 3:15 3:35 4:00

‐   ‐ ‐ ‐ ‐ ‐ ‐ ‐ ‐ ‐ ‐ ‐ ‐ ‐

Registration Opening Worship Icebreaker Session 1: Picture Perfect Group sharing Processing of the activity Lunch ice breaker Session 2: My Family and I Prayer‐Writing Activity Session 3: My Choice, My Family Reflection / Closing activity Praise fest Closing / home sweet home

F. GUIDELINES IN CONDUCTING THE ACTIVITY This is a whole‐day activity conducted to YFC who have already undergone the Covenant Orientation 3 months before. It will be done in the cluster level which is headed by the Cluster Couple Coordinators and the cluster youth heads for the Community Based Program and in a sector level by the Sector Program Heads and Sector Program Coordinators for the Campus and High School Based Programs. It is very much recommended that the same service team who served in the Covenant Orientation will serve in this activity for continuous guidance and mentoring of the growth of the new .   1. Roles and Description of Service Team a. Coordinator In‐charge – the Cluster Couple Coordinator will oversee the preparation of the activity; makes sure that the logistical needs, like venue and sound system, are prepared. b. Team Leader –the YFC male cluster youth head will lead the whole activity. He makes sure that everything will be done on time, connects, wraps up and makes sure that objectives are achieved.

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c. Assistant Team Leader – the female counterpart of the team leader who assists and caters to the needs of the activity like food preparation, materials needed for the sessions, budgeting and others.   d. Facilitators – assist and help in the group discussions during the sessions. They can be the YFC Chapter heads and YFC Household heads who have undergone this activity. e. Music ministry – in‐charge of the music during the worships, gatherings and reflection during the sessions. f. Speakers – deliver the talks assigned to them.   2. Resource Materials a. The participants are asked to bring their own family pictures. b. Registration sheets c. Sound system d. Lunch and snacks e. Bond papers f. Coloring materials g. Glue h. M&Ms, Nips, or any sugar‐coated (in different colors) chocolates i. Note: The service team is asked to prepare icebreakers to break monotony in between sessions.  This can be in a form of game or team building activities.

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PICTURE PERFECT TALK ONE OF THE YFC FAMILY CULTURE SESSION DYNAMICS DESCRIPTION OF THE SESSION: This is the first of the three sessions of the Family Culture. This session is activity‐based with two related parts which will be done one after the other. All the participants and group facilitators in the activities are expected to share about their family. The speaker also handles the whole session which includes giving the instructions and the processing points of the two activities. OBJECTIVES: 1. Let the youth appreciate their family. 2. Identify and understand their family culture. 3. Lead the youth into a realization that their family is a blessing to them. PROFILE OF THE SPEAKER: A YFC leader who appreciates his/her family regardless of the brokenness he/ she experienced in his/her family. MATERIALS NEEDED: 1. Bring a Family picture or individual picture of the of the family or a close relative whom they consider as a family 2. M&Ms or Nips (coated chocolate candies, in different color‐coatings) DYNAMICS: 1. The speaker starts with an overview of the first session. 2. The speaker shares about his/her family and then asks the participants to share the same to their smaller group. 3. After the group sharing, the speaker will call on one representative from each group to share to the assembly. 4. The speaker will then give the processing points of activity. 5. The session will end with a prayer.

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ACTIVITY: 1. The speaker will show to the participants the coated chocolate candies in different colors asking them what they see. 2. Then the speaker will show his family picture and will introduce the of the family one by one. (In introducing, it should not just be the name but also a short description of each family member. (E.g. educational background, and physical description, character, etc.) 3. The speaker will also share to the group the culture that they practice in their family. i.e. kissing of parents every mass during the peace part, practicing the gesture of “bless” as a sign of respect, family dinner every birthday,  of endearment etc. 4. The speaker will show the picture of his/her family and will share the positive traits of each family member. He/she should look beyond the perfect picture. (i.e. My dad is strict but that is his way of loving us, my sister might be stubborn but she taught me to extend my patience) 5. The speaker will ask everyone to form a group of 4‐6 and everyone will be asked to share on the following: a. Introduce the  of their family b. The common activities, language, terminologies, practices, traditions in their family c. The positive traits of each family member. (at least one good trait or the thing that they learn from each of the family member) 6. The group discussion will allow the participant to appreciate their own family. Each group will have a facilitator for the discussion.   7. A representative from each group will be called to share his/her family to the whole assembly. 8. The speaker will give processing point followed by a prayer.

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PICTURE PERFECT TALK ONE OF THE YFC FAMILY CULTURE EXPANDED TALK OUTLINE I. INTRODUCTION God chose to bring us here on earth with a whole package – our family. We have different set‐up and composition in the family. Some of us don’t have siblings while some have a dozen of it; some are not living with both parents, while others are living with their parents and even other extended family; and the list of different family set‐ ups can go a long way yet we belong to a family. Like the M&Ms that we have, these come in different colors but the same chocolate is inside it. II. UNDERSTANDING OUR FAMILY CULTURE Our different family set‐ups have our own way of nurturing the relationships among family . God has His own way of bringing the family together or somehow giving us a personal experience with each of the family member. We made memories and experiences and eventually observe certain practices and traditions that sustained the relationship. From the sharing, we learned that:   1. Family Culture is a set of practices, traditions, events, languages that we first and regularly experienced in our family. We have different set‐ups and different culture that defines the uniqueness of our family. 2. Different families have different family cultures, different practices/traditions, language, and endearments we call each other.   3. The differences of our family cultures do not define the kind of family that we have. (e.g. What can be a common/usual activity for one family may be a precious moment to another.) 4. There is no standard of what a family culture should be. Different families have different hobbies and pastime activities.   III. LOOKING BEYOND As we live each day, we realize that there is more to our family  than what we see. Our family culture allows us to see the uniqueness and goodness of each and every member of our family.

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a. Through our parents/guardians When they discipline us and give us rules to follow at home, this can be their way of showing their love and concern for us. It is important that we see beyond the actions that they are doing and appreciate the reason why they are doing this.

b. Through our siblings When we have small fights and misunderstandings with them, we need to realize that each of our brother/sister is different from us and we ought to respect that the differences that each has. We need to love them the way they are and always have the posture of forgiveness, humility, and respect.   More than just appreciating the uniqueness of our brothers and sisters, we could use these things to grow in our relationship with them. We will soon realize that the greatest friends that we can have are our siblings. These are the people that we can ultimately trust and lean on. IV. CONCLUSION More often than not, what our family is to us is just a matter of perspective. Let us be thankful for our families because they are gifts from God. We now realize that each member of our family has a special touch in us and us in each of them. They contribute to who we are right now and the dreams that we want for our future families. The Lord has a great plan for our family. He has placed us there for a specific reason and this reason will ultimately allow Him to fulfill that great plan. Let us be open in being instruments to fulfill the Lord’s plan. Let us be hopeful that the Lord will fulfill His plan in His time.

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MY FAMILY AND I TALK TWO OF THE YFC FAMILY CULTURE SESSION DYNAMICS

OBJECTIVES: 1. For the participants to know, understand and believe in the great plan of the Lord for the family 2. For the participants to be encouraged to have a vision for their own families according to the great plan of the Lord for the family SPEAKER’S PROFILE: 1. Preferably a sector youth head or any of the YFC top leader of the area 2. A youth leader who knows and who can handle sensitive issues about the family. ACTIVITY DYNAMICS: 1. The speaker will show a piece of wood and will ask them what they see at an instant. 2. The speaker will call out few participants to answer. 3. This time the speaker will ask the participants to look beyond what they see. (Participant should see the end product of the wood like a house or a chair, a table, etc.) 4. The speaker starts the talk proper. 5. Before ending the whole session the speaker will lead them to a reflection and ask the participants to write a prayer for each member of their family.

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MY FAMILY AND I TALK TWO OF THE YFC FAMILY CULTURE EXPANDED TALK OUTLINE “As for my family and me I will serve the Lord…” (Joshua 24:15) I. INTRODUCTION In our first activity today, we talked about the culture of our own family. It’s amazing to realize that we have different culture inside our family that one way or another defines who we are at present. This culture makes our family special and unique from the other families.    We have to look into what is beyond our family’s situation. The world dictates that we can live without our family and sometimes implying that we can survive without them. What would we become if we haven’t experienced the first love, our first adviser, our first friend, and many more first that we only experience inside our home.   II. GOD’S PROMISES FOR THE FAMILY As we have seen the uniqueness in our own family, we also open our eyes to the future that still awaits our families; a future that the Lord held preciously in His hands; a future filled with hope, healing, and love. A. God’s promise of Hope God is at work in our family. Despite the misunderstandings and differences that we have, He has promised us the gift of transformation. God is assuring us that He will not waste the learning that we have from our experiences now. These will even be a means of the Lord to teach us to continue hoping for our family. In the same way, as the Lord is transforming our families, He is also preparing us for our future families, through the learning and situations we are experiencing now. That is why the role that we play in our families is important. God’s promise of hope does not mean we should just leave everything to the Lord, but rather, we should allow God to use us and prepare us to be the vessels of God’s fulfillment of His plans to our families.

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*Note to the speaker: Consider that there might be extreme situations which are seemingly impossible to resolve. (e.g. When both parents who are separated may have their own respective families already, the focus on this should be on hoping a better family of their own)

B. God’s promise of healing God is promising us His power of healing. Despite conflicts, and misunderstandings, God is assuring us that eventually all our relationships will be fully healed.   We, too, might have our own resentment, prejudices, our biases, against our family but healing is still possible. Healing can start with us. The actions that we make towards our family and our change in perspective can contribute greatly towards healing within our families.    These bring about not only healing among family  but also healing within ourselves. Eventually, these promises of healing will give way to restoring relationships with our family .   C. God’s promise of love Our first experience of love is within our family. Our parents provide and take care of us because of their love. Our siblings gave us the first encounter of friendship.   There may be moments that it will be hard for us to see/experience God’s love but God is promising us that in spite and despite of every situation we face, God’s love will always be there. It is important for us to hang on to this promise and continue loving them. Let us not stop making them feel that they are loved by: a) Loving them despite the most uncomfortable circumstance, b) Not giving up on loving them, c) ing that they are gifts from God and there is something we can learn from them, d) Having the initiative to concretely show that love is unconditional.

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III. HINDRANCES THAT WILL STOP US FROM EXPERIENCING GOD’S PROMISE As these promises are beautiful things, we should also be cautious because the evil one will not let us have all these unchallenged.  He will surely deceive and disillusion us. He will feed us with false ideas that will hinder us from experiencing God’s promises; these are when: A. We fail to believe – we don’t believe that our family is our hope and that they are the source of our strength. We see our family as the source of failures and disappointments because of the situation inside our home. We do not see that at the end of our entire problem, it is our family who will be there for us.   B. We fail to accept – we fall short accepting our family for who they are and whatever attitudes or characters they have. (e.g. family who have different principles from us, a nagging mother, irresponsible father). We sometimes tell people that we hate our parents or siblings that we made them bad family  in the eyes of others.    C. We fail to recognize – we fall short in recognizing that our family is a gift from God and we should take care of it. We choose not to care; we don’t take effort of looking at the problems of our family and helping them solve it.  (E.g. we do not correct our brothers or sisters that have vices like smoking, drinking etc.)   IV. GROUP SHARING:   NOTE: It is encourage that siblings within the cluster should be grouped separately. There should be a maximum of 3 in a group.

Discussion Starter for Sharing of the situations of our family: 1) What is an ideal family for you? 2) What are your hopes for your families? V. PROCESSING/CONCLUSION:

By now, we all realize that we have situations in our family that we need to pray for. Like the activity earlier, the wood – which may stand for our situations, is all that we see. We must realize that there is something more to look forward to. We need to that God is still at work in our families, that there is a vision yet to be fulfilled for us.

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We, too, need to realize that there we play an important role in fulfilling the Lord’s promise for our family. Let us  that the future of our families rests on how we do our part in the fulfillment of God’s plan for us.   Despite all this, the Lord continues to bring about His promises of hope, healing, and love. Let us hang on to these promises and realize that there is something that we can look forward to. God is at work in our families and all we have to do is trust in His love and faithfulness to us.

PRAYER WRITING ACTIVITY AFTER SESSION TWO 1) The speaker will open the activity with a prayer. The prayer should allow the participants to be able to reflect on the situations of their families. 2) A reflection song should be played as the prayer starts. The song should be about fulfillment of promises, hope, or forgiveness. 3) The speaker will then give time for the participants to reflect on the song and at the same time write the prayer. 4) The participants are then asked to write a short prayer for each member of the family.    5) After a maximum of 10 minutes, the speaker will then continue and close the prayer.

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MY CHOICE, MY FAMILY TALK THREE OF THE YFC FAMILY CULTURE SESSION DYNAMICS OBJECTIVES: 1. For the participants to make a personal response to God’s plan in their family. 2. For the participants to identify concrete steps in making God’s plan happen in their families. 3. For the participants to start praying for their family. DYNAMICS: 1. The speaker is introduced. 2. The speaker will conduct the opening activity first. 3. The speaker proceeds with the talk proper. 4. The sharers will be called before the concluding statement. 5. The speaker continues with the closing activity while the music ministry plays the reflection song. 6. The Cluster head/chapter head will lead everyone to a praisefest where they will read silently the prayer that they have made. MATERIALS NEEDED: • Pieces of bond paper • Coloring materials • Glue or paste SPEAKER’S PROFILE: 1. At least a YFC Cluster Head member. 2. A YFC leader who can know the issues of the YFC . 3. A YFC Leader who can handle sensitive issues about the family. SHARERS’ PROFILE: (there will be 2 sharers) 1. A YFC member who did not appreciate his/her family before but now practiced his/her role as a son/daughter in the family. 2. A YFC sibling who used to frequently fight with each other but is now appreciating the blessing of each other.

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OPENING ACTIVITY 1. The service team will distribute sheets of paper to the participants. 2. The speaker will ask them to draw on the upper right corner their dreams for their family. (if they have hard time drawing it, they can write their dreams on that same corner) 3. The speaker asks the participants to place the picture/s of their family at the bottom left of the bond paper.   4. The speaker then asks the participants to draw a ladder or staircase steps from the family picture leading to the vision they have for the family which is drawn at the upper right part of the bond paper. 5. The speaker then asks to ask the participants to write concrete steps to fulfill God’s plan for their family. 6. Share your vision/steps to the person next to you. Allow 3 minutes for the sharing.

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MY CHOICE, MY FAMILY TALK THREE OF THE YFC FAMILY CULTURE EXPANDED TALK OUTLINE I. INTRODUCTION In the second session, we learned the plan of God for our family. We, as YFCs should believe that our family is at the heart of God’s creation. Our family is united through God, with God and in God. And our family is the source of love, the same love that comes from God. But we are faced with the hard and sad realities that we have imperfect families but still the plan of the Lord for our families still stands. Here, we are to proactively respond and know how to fulfill His grand promises for us.   II. OUR RESPONSE TO GOD’S PLAN FOR OUR FAMILY A. Value our Family – our family is priceless. Value the family you have right now. Whatever and whoever is inside that home, it is still our family that the Lord gave to value.   1. 2. 3.

B.

Serving our family – serving our family in small ways (e.g. cleaning our room and house, cooking for them, etc.) Respect – Respecting our family , (parents and siblings) or even our extended family (grandma, grandpa, etc.) in our words or in action. Loving ‐ showing affection that would make our family see the love for each other, e.g. giving quality time for our family. (Dinner with the family, playing with your siblings, watching TV together, going to mass together)

Be grateful – Being thankful for the things that our family is doing and giving for us.

1.

2. 3.

Appreciating their effort‐ thanking them in small things that they do for us. (E.g. when they cook for you or prepare food for breakfast, expressing words of affirmation and love like sorry, thank you, you are welcome, please etc…) ing them in special dates – giving them something special during these occasions such as valentines, anniversaries, Christmas and etc.   Praying for them – including all the  of our family in our prayer time.

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C.


Be Obedient – Obeying them is our way of showing our love and respect.   1. Acknowledging authority – God gave us our parents as our pastors in this world. As our parents and older siblings we ought to follow them as people who have authority over us.   2. Obeying their rules – they are the one who wants the best for us so they would not guide us in the wrong direction.    3. Accepting corrections – accepting our mistakes and listening to them for they love us and they want us to be on the right path.

(Speaker now calls the sharers before stating the conclusion) III. CONCLUSION God envisions for us to be “Families in the Holy Spirit renewing the face of the Earth.” The Lord is calling us to take part in the bigger mission of “building the church of the Home”.   Let us continue to believe and hope in this vision, that young as we are, we have a big role to play in making our vision a reality. Let us continue to influence other people in believing in this vision. Let us start now with ourselves and in our own homes.

REFLECTION SONG While they are doing their activity a reflection song is being played. The song should express being thankful to our family.

CLOSING ACTIVITY 1. The Speaker will lead the participants to a prayer. As the prayer starts, the reflection song will be sung. 2. During the prayer, the speaker will ask the participants to bring out the prayer that they made during the second session. 3. The speaker will give time for the participants to read and reflect on the prayer. 4. The speaker will instruct the participants to keep it in their bible so that they can read it everyday in their prayer time. 5. The speaker segue the reflection song to the praise fest.

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PRAISEFEST THE YFC FAMILY CULTURE EXHORTATION POINTS Suggested Praise Fest Exhortation • We will acknowledge God’s greatness for the gift of family. • We will thank God for allowing us to realize the beauty of each of our family. • We will express our conviction that God has a special plan for our family no matter what set‐up or background we are in. • Placing us in us in a family is a great manifestation of God’s love. He loves us so much that he thought of us and believed that there’s something we can do to make a difference in our situation. • We will pray for God’s grace that we may continue to appreciate and accept the family that God has given us.

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